Get Here Faster, Retirement: This Is a Segway-like Rideable Golf Scooter

You can’t see the man’s face in this photo, but he is weeping. He is weeping tears of joy – the salty, warm tears of joy that could only have been elicited by the feeling of riding around on the lovechild of a Segway and a golf cart.

The $4,500 Ride On Golf Cart Scooter has a dull name – I’d suggest Ultimate Freedom USA Golfglide 3000, but I’m not in marketing – and is good for 27 holes at up to 11 miles per hour. It’s rechargeable, with a full charge promised in five hours. It’s not the first rideable standing golf cart in the history of rideable standing golf carts — here’s me getting frothed up about one all the way back in 2010 — but the fact that it’s being sold by Hammacher Schlemmer is a step in the right direction for the entire category.

There’s handlebar-mounted throttle and reverse controls, and the whole shebang is steered by leaning left or right. It can handle 20-degree inclines, which might be good for courses in Florida or other relatively flat areas, but things might get a little dicey on hillier tracks. There’s also a cupholder, and the entire apparatus folds down to a foot and a half thick so you can pop it in the back of your Dodge Neon when you’re done playing.

If I were to retire tomorrow, this would be one of my first purchases even though my financial advisor would threaten to quit if I bought it. “It’ll pay for itself after a couple hundred rounds,” I’d keep saying to anyone who’d listen.

The Ride On Golf Cart Scooter [Hammacher Schlemmer]