--- title: Memorial Day: The Questions We Should, and Don't, Ask description: Why can’t we ask if these wars were right or wrong, worth the terrible sacrifices, or what we have learned from them? canonical: https://time.com/119998/the-questions-we-dont-ask-on-memorial-day/ author: Jim Wallis article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-05-27T18:31:50.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-10-01T08:52:53.497Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Memorial Day: The Questions We Should, and Don't, Ask og:description: Why can’t we ask if these wars were right or wrong, worth the terrible sacrifices, or what we have learned from them? og:url: https://time.com/119998/the-questions-we-dont-ask-on-memorial-day/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: TIME og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Memorial Day: The Questions We Should, and Don't, Ask twitter:description: Why can’t we ask if these wars were right or wrong, worth the terrible sacrifices, or what we have learned from them? twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltde093bcdab65f2d0/6988d9b9bc6cfc69913e2a3c/time-logo.jpg?branch=production --- # The Questions We Don't Ask on Memorial Day > Sponsored content. 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Named editors include Richard Hall (The Brief), Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs (Inside TIME), Eliza Berman (Worth Your Time), Philip Elliott (D.C. Brief), Justin Worland (Future Proof) and Harry Booth (In the Loop). Health Matters is written by TIME's health desk. #### How do I sign up for a TIME newsletter? Go to time.com/newsletters, choose the newsletters you want and enter your email address. There is no cost and no subscription requirement. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-network-2026q3/newsletters?i=1f101745-f776-4b87-a9a7-cbe24bd49d70&cr=time-nl-network-2026q3-v1) ## Video: TIME Explains Memorial Day [Watch (HLS stream): TIME Explains Memorial Day](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/tWXcaFmN.m3u8) (2:29)  _Published 2014-05-22. Here’s everything you need to know about Memorial Day, the holiday originally observed to remember fallen soldiers from the Civil War._ by [Jim Wallis](https://time.com/author/jim-wallis/) ## Jim Wallis May 27, 2014 6:31 PM UTC by [Jim Wallis](https://time.com/author/jim-wallis/) ## Jim Wallis May 27, 2014 6:31 PM UTC Monday was Memorial Day, full of family trips and events, lots of picnics and barbecues with friends and neighbors, and a national day off from school and work. For us it was the Northwest Little League All Star game here at Friendship Field in Washington D.C., a family tradition for many years. My wife Joy, the Commissioner, organized the game day, including a wonderful picnic on a glorious baseball day for players, parents, relatives, and many fans–with 300 hotdogs! It was also a day to remember all the people who have died in America’s wars. For the families of those war victims and so many of their fellow veterans it was a day of remembering and mourning. In the quiet moments of listening to the national anthem while looking at the American flag, our little baseball crowd with hats off _might_ have been thinking about the meaning of the national holiday. But right afterward it was “Play Ball.” On Memorial Days I always end up listening to the many stories from the families who lost their most beloved ones and from the veterans whose eyes still tear up when they recall their dearest buddies lost on battlefields far away. The emotion and pain always moves me. And watching all the messages of veterans’ organizations, you also see the incredible pain of those who came back from war with injuries and memories that still afflict their bodies, minds, and hearts. But I also wonder why nobody raises the questions about why all these sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, dads and moms–all these best of friends–had to die in those wars. So why can’t we ask if these wars were right or wrong, worth the terrible sacrifices, or what we have learned from the wars? What was gained or lost? Who decided to go to war? And why do _their_ families often bear the _least_ consequences for the war decisions? These are very hard questions, and people get angry when they are raised as some already are in reading this. Some will say it disrespects those who have suffered and died. But to raise the hard questions of why wars were decided and who decided them is actually a way to respect those who paid such a heavy price and perhaps would prevent more such horrible human costs. I almost never hear veterans speak about the merits of their war, or its cause or purpose, or the strategies and ideologies behind the decisions to go to war. They talk about their friends, their brothers and sisters, their “family” who they lost on the battlefield. And the families of lost servicemen and women talk about how their loss was so devastating and life-changing. Hardly any of the Memorial Day testimonies are to the war; they are to the war victims. The war in my youth was the Vietnam War and I still hardly ever go to the Vietnam Memorial. The few times I’ve gone there, I felt enormous pain. My generation’s names are etched on that long black wall, and when I read and touch them I feel overwhelmed with grief. The Vietnam War was based on lies and was exposed as a political and moral mistake, but went on even after we knew it was wrong and destined for disaster. Vietnam’s American casualties were disproportionately lower-income and racial minorities. This war sank into tactics that killed many innocents while damaging the souls of our own soldiers. Vietnam violated our nation’s best values and religious convictions, but even then many were angry when leaders like Dr. King asked hard questions about war. Iraq was another war based on lies, and morally compounded by being a war over oil. Was this a war of necessity or choice? Again, the casualties were significantly lower-income people and racial minorities who volunteered for the military hoping for future opportunities they didn’t have. Only some brave souls questioned why so few were asked to bear the terrible costs while the rest of the nation went on with life as usual. Afghanistan, begun to bring those who attacked us to justice, became the longest war in our history, again without honest answers to what we really have accomplished. War has become such a business in America, whose beneficiaries are not the people we remember on Memorial Day. The veterans we honored yesterday are not even receiving adequate care when they come home [and are being used as political pawns](http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/27/us/veterans-groups-lash-out-at-republican-senator.html), as the latest Veterans Administration scandal reveals. As we remember those who died serving our country, Memorial Day should also be a day when we ask the hard questions about our wars, what we have learned, and whether such painful losses are truly worth the terrible cost. _Jim Wallis_ _is president of_ [Sojourners](http://go.sojo.net/site/R?i=v%5FLuQxbPkYFijaopaWNyfQ)_._ _Follow Jim on Twitter_ _@JimWallis_ _._ ## Transcript Memorial Day is upon us. And as tradition goes it's a time for Americans to remember the brave men and women who fought and died for our country. It's also a time to enjoy a three- day weekend and finally break out that special edition, humongous, it's not spring until the first barbecue, UFO shaped, charcoal grill. But did you know two cities with the same name but in different states both claim to be the birthplace of this national holiday? Here's what you need to know about the history and traditions of Memorial Day. While the birthplace of the holiday might be contested we know the origin of Memorial Day came from the end of the U. S. Civil War. After the war, soldiers in the north and south decorated the graves of comrades who died, at least 600, 000 by the time fighting stopped. The U. S. Department of Veterans Affairs says one of the first instances of Americans honoring the fallen took place in Columbus, Mississippi April 25th, 1866. A group of women decorated the graves of Confederate and Union soldiers, but Americans in at least five other cities, including Columbus, Georgia, all seem to think they were first. A writer at the New York Times says the claims of the two Columbuses, Mississippi and Georgia, are the most nuanced and intertwined, with the misprinted newspaper date being the culprit in the who- did- it- first feud. But he also mentions a forgotten event in Charleston, South Carolina, in 1865, that might have triggered it all. Black workmen properly reburied the Union dead that were found there. And on May 1st, a cemetery dedication was held, attended by thousands of freed Blacks who marched in procession around the track. Despite all that, Waterloo, New York was named the birthplace of Memorial Day in 1966 because of a ceremony for fallen soldiers that took place a century prior. In 1868, Major General John A Logan declared Decoration Day, the precursor to Memorial Day, to be observed May 30th, because that's when flowers would be in bloom nationwide. But the wounds from the Civil War lingered and Americans in the Confederate states consider Memorial Day a celebration for fallen Union soldiers. So they commemorated the dead at their own discretion. May 30th became a day to honor all American soldiers who gave their lives in combat when U. S. soldiers returned from World War I. Memorial Day became a national holiday in 1971, and since then Americans have celebrated the fallen military men and women through tribute, celebration, parades, and more, on the last Monday in May. Thanks for watching. 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