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title: How to Be a Better Parent: 3 Counterintuitive Lessons From Science
description: Excerpts from my interview with Po Bronson, New York Times bestselling author of NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children, about how to be a better parent....
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author: Eric Barker
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article:published_time: 2014-05-21T04:01:19.000Z
article:modified_time: 2026-04-13T08:54:07.946Z
article:section: Ideas
og:title: How to Be a Better Parent: 3 Counterintuitive Lessons From Science
og:description: Myth: It’s bad for kids to see their parents fighting. Fact: It’s good for kids to see parents fight.
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twitter:description: Myth: It’s bad for kids to see their parents fighting. Fact: It’s good for kids to see parents fight.
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# How to Be a Better Parent: 3 Counterintuitive Lessons From Science

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by 

[Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/)


## Eric Barker


May 21, 2014 4:01 AM UTC

![Strict Parenting](https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt486ce793864e3d4e/69868624cd804db6d9cc9cbd/80356940.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=3:2)

Mother having discussion with son

Mother having discussion with son Getty Images

by 

[Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/)


## Eric Barker


May 21, 2014 4:01 AM UTC

Excerpts from my interview with [Po Bronson](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/11/good-parenting-skills/), New York Times bestselling author of [NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446504130/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0446504130&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20), about how to be a better parent.

## 1) Peer Pressure Can Be A Good Thing

**Myth:** **_Peer pressure is always bad, just leading kids to drinking, drugs and vandalism._**

**Fact:** **_The same instinct that makes some kids so vulnerable to peer pressure also makes them better students, friends and, eventually, partners._**

Po Bronson:

## 2) It’s Okay — Even Good — To Fight In Front Of Your Kids

**Myth:** **_It’s bad for kids to see their parents fighting._**

**Fact:** **_It’s good for kids to see parents fight — as long as they also see them resolve the problem. This is how children learn to stand up for themselves while also preserving a relationship._**

Po Bronson:

## 3) Teens Who Argue Are Good Teens

**Myth:** **_Teens who argue are rebellious and need to learn their place._**

**Fact:** **_Teens need to learn to negotiate and they need to be rewarded for being reasonable. Parents with zero tolerance for “talking back” teach kids that lying is the only way to get what you want._**

Po Bronson:

## What The Research Taught Him About Being A Dad

Po Bronson:

Po interviewed about [NurtureShock](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446504130/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0446504130&linkCode=as2&tag=spacforrent-20) on WNYC:

**Curious to learn more?**

**For my extended interview with Po, join my** **free weekly email update** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**. In the extended interview Po explains:**

1. The simplest method for boosting a baby’s verbal ability.
2. A technique that reduces child lying by 75%.
3. Why teaching your kids about gratitude may backfire.


**Join** [**here**](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD)**.**

Related posts:

[Good Parenting Skills: 7 Research-Backed Ways to Raise Kids Right](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/11/good-parenting-skills/)

[How To Have A Happy Family – 7 Tips Backed By Research](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/10/how-to-have-a-happy-family/)

[Parent myths: How much of what your parents told you was wrong?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/parent-myths/)

_This piece originally appeared on_ [_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/)_._

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