TIME society

Complaints Sent To Domino’s Pizza Show The Real First World Problems [VIDEO]

No dessert dipping sauce? Call the United Nations


The Oxford Dictionary defines “First World problem” as “a relatively trivial or minor problem … implying a contrast with serious problems such as those that may be experienced in the developing world.” But the TL; DR of that dictionary entry might look something like the new video by YouTube Stuntbear.

In the video, Stuntbear kicks the First World problem meme up a notch with an awareness-raising video that transposes real complaints written on Australia’s Domino’s Pizza Facebook page against images of real human suffering.

It’s funny — and sad — because it’s true.

MORE: #FirstWorldProblems, as Read by Poverty-Stricken Haitians

MORE: Oxford Dictionaries Adds ‘Deets’, ’4G’ and ‘First World Problems’

TIME Parenting

How Kitty Genovese Destroyed Childhood

We once may have been too slow to call the cops. Now we'll dial 911 if we see a couple kids walking alone to get pizza.

Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death 50 years ago today. She was 28. A tragedy. The press reported 38 onlookers heard her screams and decided not to intervene. That account has since come under fire, but it nonetheless created a perception of ourselves (and certainly New Yorkers) as unconscionably reluctant to get involved.

We’ve been making up for it ever since — and that’s too bad.

We may once have been too slow to call the cops (though that’s still disputed), but today we are definitely too fast. Oh, I don’t mean we shouldn’t dial 911 if we see someone being murdered, or threatened, or hurt. Of course we should! In fact, the simple 911 number to call for emergencies was developed partly in response to the Genovese murder: Now everyone could have a quick, easy way to summon the cops anytime, anyplace. A great leap forward.

The leap sideways, or perhaps downward, came as the general public gradually became convinced that it not only had an obligation to help anyone in danger, it had the obligation to call the cops anytime it noticed people who could be in danger, especially kids, even if they were fine and dandy at the time.

This has given rise to a near mania for calling the cops when people spot a child on his or her own anywhere in public. And so we have a Connecticut mom charged with “risk of injury to a minor” and failure to appear after police said she allowed her seven- and 11-year-old children to walk to buy pizza unsupervised.

That’s right. Someone noticed kids off to get pizza and alerted the cops, as if stopping a potential tragedy.

Then there’s the dad who was arrested for child endangerment after a woman noticed “two children playing on the swings and slides alone without a guardian” in a suburban Pittsburgh park for two hours. (The charges were later dropped.)

And let’s not forget the mom in Jonesboro, Arkansas, who made her 10-year-old son walk 4.6 miles to school after he’d been suspended from the school bus for bad behavior. A bank guard saw him walking alone — horrors! — and called the cops. The mom was arrested for child endangerment. In the end, she plead guilty and was fined $520.

None of these kids encountered any danger other than a concerned citizen with 911 on speed dial. It has become so unusual to see children outside on their own that a nervous public immediately picks up the phone at such a sight, hyperventilating about danger.

” ‘If in doubt, call 911 to play it safe.’ That’s the lesson that was taken from Kitty Genovese,” says David Pimentel, a professor of law at Ohio Northern University. “But it stems from a faulty assumption, which is that there’s no harm in calling.” But unless the child is in true danger, “There is harm done. The harm that comes from the overreaction of everybody to this.” The courts get involved, CPS gets involved. There are fines, arrests, the threat (and sometimes the reality) of jail time.

Most of the folks calling the cops — and most of the cops themselves — remember walking to school and playing outside as kids. They are convinced that times have changed and made these activities dicey, even though, nationally, the crime rate is down from what it was in the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s. (And that’s not because we don’t let kids outside go anymore. The crime rate against adults is down, too, and we don’t helicopter them.)

So anyone who walked to the post office or the pizza shop as a kid was no safer than a kid today. But back then, bystanders didn’t dial 911 when they saw kids on their own. They waved.

Maybe the lesson from the Kitty Genovese era should be this: Let’s get more people back outside, including children. That way we can be looking out for each other, instead of freaking out.

Lenore Skenazy is a public speaker and founder of the book and blog Free-Range Kids.

TIME society

Study: Millennials Lean Left But Reject Labels

Unattached to party and religious labels, millennials are forging a unique identity for themselves in adulthood

The so-called millennial generation is one of the most independently minded in recent U.S. history, according to a new study.

Millennials, those born after 1980 and who represent the most racially diverse generation in America, are more detached than previous generations to institutions of religion, politics and marriage, but more digitally networked, according to the Pew Research Center survey released Friday. And while many millennials voted for President Barack Obama and are politically left-leaning, relatively few are attached to the Democratic Party. Millennials recorded one of the highest levels of institutional disaffiliation for any generation in the two-plus decades Pew has been polling on the issue.

Millennials, who make up 27 percent of the adult population in the U.S., are more likely than previous generations to say there isn’t a great deal of difference between the Republican and Democratic parties. Over half of them choose not to identify with either political party. Yet millennials continue to view the Democrats more favorably than the Republicans, standing out as the only generation in which conservatives do not significantly outnumber liberals, according to Pew.

TIME society

This Map Shows Just How Big The Wage Gap Between Men and Women Is

The gender pay gap is biggest in South Korea

We all know that women tend to earn less than men, but this infographic illustrates just how much less. The graph at the top shows how the average pay gap across the European Union has fluctuated over recent years, and the map below shows the percentage difference between male and female wages in nations across the globe.

Unfortunately, data wasn’t available for many countries, but the overall trend remains clear: the global gender pay gap is still huge.

Global Gender Pay Gap

TIME society

5 Things You Should Know About Working Dads

Father trying to work while holding baby
Peter Cade—Getty Images

Work-family balance isn’t a women’s issue – it’s a family one

My wife and I both work, but since she is a musical theater actress, sometimes she has to work late, really late. On those days, we get my son up, fed, dressed and ready for school before we go to work. At my job, I put in a full morning, work through lunch at my desk, leave a few hours early while taking work home—all so I can get back in time for the afternoon bus. At home, I help with homework, cook dinner, play light-sabers and Legos, supervise bathtime, cuddle my son and tuck him in. My wife comes home just in time for a good-night kiss. I spend an hour or two working on my laptop and my wife chills out with Downton Abbey before we go to bed. Some days, she’s home earlier; on others, we’re all home for family game night. Each day is a little different.

I’m no hero, no “superdad.” I’m just one of the millions of dads who are putting in the work to provide for their families, to balance their careers with their spouses’ and, most importantly, to be a loving, involved father. My work-family juggle is typical, but as a society, we don’t think much about the challenges faced by working fathers.

When the media does pay attention to fathers, it tends to focus on the stay-at-home variety. This makes sense, as SAHDs are breaking down barriers as to what society considers a “real man” and are demonstrating that men and women can succeed outside of traditional gender roles—all to the benefit of their families, children and our society. Go SAHDs!

(MORE: 5 Myths About Stay-At-Home Dads)

But the fact is that most fathers work outside the home. And their main concern—balancing a successful career with the time and energy needed to be a loving, involved father—has received comparatively scant attention. To fill the void, here are five things we should all know about today’s working dad:

  1. This generation of fathers works as hard and for as many hours as prior generations. They face at least as many financial pressures and a world with less job and financial security than dads who have come before. Even with the rise of breadwinner moms and dual-income couples, fathers are the sole or primary providers for 85% of dual-parent households.
  2. Fathers today aspire to career success. 76% of those surveyed in Boston College’s New Dad studies wish to be promoted to positions of greater responsibility and 58% express a strong desire to move into senior management.
  3. Today’s dad has tripled the time he spends caring for his children and does twice the housework, compared to fathers of a generation ago. 65% of dads see their role as both provider and caretaker, and 85% aspire to fully sharing parenting with their spouses (however, only about 30% report that they do so).
  4. Workplaces and corporate cultures have not kept up with these changes. Research shows that men who adjust their work for family are often seen as insufficiently committed to their work and “unmanly,” facing stigma and career consequences. Employers still expect men to be “all in” for work even when they are sharing care at home.
  5. 50% of working dads say they find it very or somewhat difficult to balance work and family responsibilities. In fact, more fathers today (about two-thirds) report work-family conflict and stress than working moms.

Needless to say, this is quite a set of challenges, and they deserve attention. I believe that when more attention is paid to men’s work-family issues:

  • These issues become more normal and acceptable to talk about in homes and workplaces across the country
  • Fathers who struggle with work-family balance will realize they are not alone, and will be more willing to reach out for help and to connect with fellow dads
  • Supervisors and business leaders will realize this is a serious business issue that requires thought and attention
  • Fathers, mothers, kids, families, society and even employers will benefit

We still have a long way to go, but, for the first time, the tide is beginning to turn and dads’ work-family issues are starting to be discussed. As a dad and a fatherhood advocate, I couldn’t be happier. When working dads are supported, families are stronger.

Work-family balance is not a woman’s issue. And it’s not a man’s issue. It’s a family issue that affects us all. It’s time we started talking more about it.

Scott Behson, PhD, is a Professor of Management at Fairleigh Dickinson University, a busy involved dad, and an overall grateful guy. He runs Fathers, Work, and Family, a blog dedicated to helping fathers better balance work and family, and encouraging more supportive workplaces. He also writes on work and family issues for Harvard Business Review (HBR) Blogs, Huffington Post and The Good Men Project. He lives in Nyack, NY with his wife, Amy, and son, Nick. Contact him on Twitter (@ScottBehson), Facebook, LinkedIn or email.

TIME society

The Best and Worst Places to Cry and Listen to Bright Eyes in NYC

Businessman crying in rain
Getty Images

V v servicey

New York is, by and large, a city full of crybabies. The sheer amount of people heaving and sighing their way through Manhattan every day grants the city a kind of anonymity that makes it seem like, totally appropriate to sob on a street corner for little to no reason at all.

New Yorkers cry in different settings for different reasons: on the subway because their landlord is kind of being a jerk, in Duane Reade because the pharmacy messed up their prescription order again, or, if you’re me, on the corner of Broadway and 50th St. because it’s cold and the tourists fresh out of Broadway shows keep taking all the cabs (note: this is not actually a good place to cry).

Now, some genius has decided to gather a list of the best and worst places to cry in a Tumblr called NYC Crying Guide. Good places to cry, according to the guide? The Build-a-Bear Workshop on 5th Ave. (“If you want to be treated like a real person despite your overflowing tears – go here immediately!!”); Bank of America on 5th and 48th (“A very average, basic, no-frills, in and out place to cry”); and the 7 train (“It’s a criers dream!!!!!! I cry on this subway at least once a day).”

Meanwhile, you might want to avoid the AT&T store near Bryant Park when you’re feeling overwhelmed and on the brink of another teary outburst (“Let’s just say, AT&T, I will NOT be returning to your store to cry”).

What are your favorite places to cry in NYC, besides alone, in front of your computer, reading this post right now?

TIME society

The Changing Face of Exonerations

Woman in jail
Getty Images

For all the understandable weight we give DNA evidence, it is of little if any use for the vast majority of the wrongfully convicted.

The popular image of exonerations—fueled by any number of movies and TV criminal procedurals—is of a wrongly accused rapist set free after DNA testing reveals the real perpetrator. But as a new report shows, this DNA-centric scenario is becoming increasingly less common in the real world of exonerations. Indeed, while the number of exonerations hit a record high in 2013—87 compared with the previous high of 83—only 18 of these involved DNA evidence.

(MORE: Study: Record Number of U.S. Convicts Cleared in 2013)

These figures point to a hard truth: For all the understandable weight we give DNA evidence, it is of little if any use for the vast majority of the wrongfully convicted. While DNA remains the focus of exoneration efforts around the country, and all states have passed laws that provide for post-conviction access to testing, experts estimate that only 5% to 10% of all criminal cases involve such evidence. If we are to make meaningful progress towards freeing innocent people now serving time—a population some now place at more than 100,000—we need new laws designed to target miscarriages of justice that lack DNA evidence.

Taking such steps is especially critical for women, who make up a fast-growing segment of the nation’s prison population. Women’s alleged crimes of violence—often involving children or romantic partners—do not typically hinge on the whodunit question of identity that DNA is so useful in resolving. To the contrary in such cases, the more common question is whether a crime was even committed, with one salient example being the increasingly discredited diagnosis of shaken baby syndrome. (Notably, “no crime” cases comprise another category on the increase, accounting for a whopping 22% of this year’s exonerations.)

Happily, recent years have seen the beginnings of a movement to grapple with these issues. In a curious twist, it is Texas—not a state generally associated with progressive criminal justice reform—that is leading the way. Last fall, the state passed the nation’s first law recognizing faulty forensic evidence (aka junk science) as a basis for post-conviction relief. The underlying logic is simple: as science evolves and past scientific testimony is seen in new light, we ought to revisit those convictions that have been cast in doubt.

The first to successfully invoke the Texas junk science law were three women convicted in 1998 of sexually abusing a child. Days later, another woman was separately released after serving 21 years for sexually abusing multiple children–one of the many satanic ritual day care scandals of the 1990s, often rightly compared to the Salem witch trials of the late 17th century. Without the new legislation, these women would still be behind bars.

Another sign of this trend came last month, when a federal judge in Chicago issued a ruling finding “actual innocence” in a case based on shaken baby syndrome. Even without DNA to prove her innocence, 43-year-old Jennifer Del Prete was able to show that, based on current science, no reasonable jury could possibly find her guilty of murdering the baby in her care. As U.S. District Judge Matthew Kennelly wrote in his 97-page opinion, it’s now apparent that the diagnosis of shaken baby syndrome is arguably “more an article of faith than a proposition of science.”

These incisive words reflect the growing consensus among experts that the neurological symptoms once viewed as conclusive proof of a caregiver’s guilt may well have natural causes, including congenital defects, metabolic disorders, infectious diseases and autoimmune conditions. Such “mimics of abuse” have attracted growing attention in the five years since I began studying the criminal justice system’s treatment of shaken baby syndrome. But our law’s approach to unwinding injustice remains both far too fluky and far too delayed.

If Del Prete is ultimately exonerated—as appears not unlikely—her case will be in keeping with the demographic trend away from a reliance on DNA. Yet in so many ways, hers is also a cautionary tale. Del Prete is now almost a decade into a 20-year prison sentence. And, notwithstanding the finding of “actual innocence,” she will remain incarcerated, at least for now. Federal law allows state prisoners to challenge the constitutionality of their convictions, but the grounds are narrowly defined. In the Alice in Wonderland world of federal criminal procedure, the judge who found her claims of innocence entirely credible was not permitted to vacate her conviction, since innocence is not a basis for relief. The ruling simply means she can move forward to challenge her conviction on separate constitutional grounds.

Such troubling cases underscore the need to reform our laws to better address the realities of all wrongful convictions. We need new avenues for post-conviction relief that reflect what we now know about the common causes of false convictions: false confessions, lying informants, eyewitness misidentification, and invalid forensic science. And we owe it to those wrongly convicted to move far more quickly—to recognize the moral imperative of overcoming the inertia of injustice.

Deborah Tuerkheimer, a Professor of Law at DePaul University, is a former assistant district attorney in Manhattan who has written widely on rape and domestic violence. She is currently a Public Voices Faculty Fellow with the OpEd Project. Her book Flawed Convictions: “Shaken Baby Syndrome” and the Inertia of Injustice (Oxford University Press) is forthcoming in April.

TIME society

San Francisco Techies Now Doing Weird Sex Stuff With Ethernet Cables

Computer Network Cable
Konstantin Inozemtse—Getty Images/Vetta

The owners of San Francisco private sex club 'Mission Control,' where clients can creatively employ various electronics cords (amid other activities) say they've seen a notable bump in membership since Silicon Valley's post-crash resurgence began

The tech boom in San Francisco has sparked a renaissance among the city’s members-only sex clubs, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. One in particular, named Mission Control, has seen its membership rates skyrocket, thanks primarily to the droves of open-minded techies who have flocked there. App builders and startup friends are wrapping up their 14-hour days by unwinding at Mission Control’s “fundgeon”–that’s a portmanteau combining “fun” and “dungeon!”

So what, exactly, are they doing at these parties?

San Francisco State University adjunct instructor Michael Shannon had been the dungeon master a few weeks earlier when some attendees were talking about how they would use consumer electronics cords in sex play.

“If you’ve never tied (someone) up with an Ethernet cable,” Shannon once said, “you’re not geeky enough.”

You do you, San Francisco. You do you.

TIME society

Spike Lee’s Racism Isn’t Cute: ‘M—–f—– Hipster’ Is the New ‘Honkey’

FilmDistrict & Complex Media With The Cinema Society & Grey Goose Host A Screening Of "Oldboy" - Arrivals
Director Spike Lee attends a screening of "OldBoy" in New York City, Nov. 11, 2013. Jim Spellman—WireImage/Getty Images

What’s really bothering Lee is that he doesn’t like seeing his old neighborhood full of white people, which makes him historical detritus.

It’s interesting that the director of the richest oeuvre of black films in the history of the medium doesn’t understand what the Civil Rights revolution was for. In his expletive-laced comments about the gentrification of Fort Greene during an interview at the Pratt Institute, Spike Lee seemed to think that what we Overcame for was to be grouchy bigots.

Basically, black people are getting paid more money than they’ve ever seen in their lives for their houses, and a once sketchy neighborhood is now quiet and pleasant. And this is a bad thing… why?

Lee seems to think it’s somehow an injustice whenever black people pick up stakes. But I doubt many of the blacks now set to pass fat inheritances on to their kids feel that way. This is not the old story of poor blacks being pushed out of neighborhoods razed down for highway construction. Lee isn’t making sense.

“Respect the culture” when you move in, Lee growls. But again, he isn’t making sense. We can be quite sure that if whites “respected” the culture by trying to participate in it, Lee would be one of the first in line to call it “appropriation.” So, no whites better open up barbecue joints or spoken word cafes or try to be rappers. Yet if whites walk on by the culture in “respectful” silence, then the word on the street becomes that they want to keep blacks at a distance.

In his interview with Anderson Cooper on Wednesday to clarify, Lee mentioned the controversy in Harlem some years ago over park drumming, which new white residents protested. Lee thinks whites were supposed to put up with being woken up on weekend mornings by the drums. That was a subtle issue. I refer to it in my Western Civilization class as a difficult judgment — the kind that shows that real life offers few easy answers.

Lee seems to think it was an open-and-shut case – but then how would he feel if it were whites drumming and blacks moving into the neighborhood and complaining? Maybe he thinks blacks are supposed to be accommodated as payback for the past. But for how long? Pity is not respect. W.E.B. DuBois once said that “Black America needs justice and is given charity.”

But on gentrification Lee doesn’t have time for making sense or trying to, despite the nuance he so brilliantly displays in his films. His comments are instead a tantrum, and an ugly one. What’s really bothering Lee is that he doesn’t like seeing his old neighborhood full of white people.

Or whitey, perhaps. Just as “thug” is a new way of saying the N-word in polite society, Lee’s “m—–f—– hipster” epithet for the new whites of Fort Greene is a sneaky way of saying “honkey.” Lee is less a social analyst than a reincarnation of George Jefferson with his open hostility to whites.

But George had grown up in Jim Crow America. We let his bigotry pass as “cute” because it was just desserts for a nasty past that was barely even past. But it’s been 40 years.

Surely what bothers Lee is not that Fort Greene is now a cushy neighborhood. He just wishes it had gotten that way with all black faces. He’s yearning for the multi-class black communities that people of his generation regret the dissolutions of after the end of institutionalized segregation (when black people like my parents, for example, moved out to mixed or white neighborhoods).

But let’s face it: The reason there were black communities like that was because of segregation. If there still were black communities like that, no matter how beautiful they would look when shot lovingly in films like Lee’s, it would signify racial barriers. The neighborhood would be prime fodder for people like Lee to intone with smug indignation about how non-post-racial America is. “You barely see a white face on the streets. What’s that about? What are they afraid of?”

Enough, Mr. Lee. Enough.

When racial barriers come down, people mingle, cohabitate, and mate. People grumbling on the sidelines about the losses and appropriations and whatnot that this involves are historical detritus. That becomes ringingly clear in how impossible it is to scorn the multiracial children who grow from processes like this, who grow up to be perfectly normal adults — and life goes on.

And black will go on — but hopefully not the way people like Lee would prefer. There are those who think recreational contrarianism is the soul of blackness — surely, if we aren’t mad, we aren’t truly black.

But history records no human group whose core essence was eternal indignation. Lee’s films, ironically, teach much about what black is and what it will be. Odd that in real life he thinks hearkening back to the social politics of Fred Sanford is moving on up.

TIME relationships

How an Insensitive Jerk Saved My Marriage

Troels Graugaard—Getty Images

Never ask a woman if she's pregnant—or forget to tell your wife she's beautiful.

“Oh, you’re pregnant again!?” one of my wife’s colleagues (who does not work with her on a daily basis) asked. Upon seeing her reaction, he tried to backtrack. But the damage was done. Allie hid in her office for most of the day and refused to eat even one of the delectable Munchkins sitting, so temptingly, in the kitchen down the hall.

Someone called my wife fat. It made her upset. That makes me upset. When she told me, I wanted to kick that dude’s ass!

Everyone knows: You don’t ask a woman if she’s pregnant! EVER!!! Not unless you’re her gynecologist and you see her crowning. And, even then… try to get her to mention it first.

Allie is not fat. Maybe she didn’t lose all of the baby weight from our second child, but she is not fat. She is, however, self-conscious about her weight.

She works long hours, and would rather spend her time off with our kids than at the gym. She did not grow up with the healthiest or most diverse diet, but she tries to eat right. Easier said than done, since she usually just takes a quick lunch at her desk. Allie doesn’t drink alcohol. So when she’s stressed or depressed, she has a tendency to turn to food. (We all have our vices.)

Believe it or not, Allie wanted me to write this article. Not for her, but for our children, especially our little girl and the body-image issues she may have to face as she grows up. Penny is undeniably beautiful, which she hears all the time from strangers and relatives alike. Allie and I are not immune from letting her know pretty she looks, but we also tell her how funny and intelligent she is. We make sure to heap on the praise when she tries something new or really puts effort into accomplishing a goal (especially after she has suffered setbacks). Penny has so many amazing attributes.

I want her to be aware of, appreciate, and improve on everything that makes her unique. I want so many things for her! I want her to have high self-esteem and know that she can get things done when she sticks to them… I want her to feel beautiful all the time, no matter what other people think… I want her to know her jokes are funny, even if no one else is laughing… I want her to be kind, even when no one notices… I would rather she be healthy than thin… I want her to know she is awesome.

As I write this list, I am no longer sure if I’m talking about my daughter or my wife. For Penny, I want these things in the future. For Allie, I want them right now.

This article is probably not the one my wife expected. It is not about our children, it’s about her. And it’s about me.

If Allie’s self-esteem were higher, she would not have given a second thought to what that jerk said. Truth is, he wasn’t trying to be mean. He just said something really, really stupid.

My wife is awesome. (Where do you think our kids get it from?) If she were looking from the outside, she would see it with undeniable clarity. She always finds the best in people, including me. I’ve suffered my own bouts of low self-esteem and depression, and she helped me (continues to help me) battle my demons. It can be difficult to see the best in ourselves, especially when the fog of depression clouds our vision. We all need a little reminding, sometimes.

As her husband and best friend, I was failing my wife. I wasn’t reminding her enough. I wasn’t making her feel special. She was vulnerable (in addition to the weight, she has also had some hair loss), and I wasn’t providing the support she required.

She is still beautiful. But I forgot to tell her, when that is what she needed to hear.

I never said anything to actively insult my wife, but my passivity was more detrimental to her self-esteem than anything anyone could say. It became a downward spiral. Allie would feel bad about her weight or her hair, and I would shrink further from my husbandly responsibilities. I just didn’t feel like dealing with. It was too much for me. I was stressed, too. I wanted my cool, fun wife back! I’m the one with issues. I’m supposed to be able to lean on her… she’s the strong one!

That guy who made the dumb comment about Allie didn’t need a kick in the ass. I did.

Like the Stones said, “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes…you get what you need.” I didn’t want to get into a big fight with Allie. I didn’t even understand how it happened or really what it was about, not at the time anyway. She was upset because I was ignoring her. I had excuses and tried to pretend that her accusations weren’t true. But I knew she was right. I was being inconsiderate, in that I was literally not considering her feelings and needs.

I’m trying to be better.

I’ve seen the changes in her. She’s been smiling more lately. She started exercising. Hell, even her hair has been growing back. I feel like I have my wife again. It’s fantastic! She still gets into occasional funks, but I’m there for her.

All of us could use a little help sometimes. My wife needed me to be there for her, like I’ve needed her so often in the past.

We focus so much of our attention on our children, guiding them to become the people we know they can be. Their personalities and self-esteem, however, are formed in those moments when we’re not looking and they are. Children see, hear, and sense much more than we realize. Our kids need us, and more specifically, need us to be there for each other.

And that dude who asked if my wife was pregnant? Maybe I should thank him for making me understand that I was being an insensitive jerk. But what he needs is to just shut up for a while.

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