TIME relationships

Jimmy Kimmel Asked Little Kids What They Think About Gay Marriage

Hot debate for minds of all ages

Following the U.S. Supreme Court ruling to sanction marriage equality in all 50 states, Jimmy Kimmel turned to one important group to hear their thoughts on the subject: kids.

Responding to those who think explaining the change in marriage laws would be difficult, Kimmel sent a producer and cameraperson out into the field for a Jimmy Kimmel Live segment to find out what kids know about marriage equality. For the most part, the kids Live found had no problem understanding marriage in any form. But they certainly weren’t lacking for opinions on the institution of marriage itself.

Some think there’s a best time of day to marry, others are planning to wait until 30 before they wed, and one thinks it’s fiscally irresponsible to marry at all. But even if it’s not for them, all of the kids seem to agree on one thing: everyone should have the right to marry… as long as they’re old enough, of course.

This article originally appeared on EW.com

TIME relationships

Meet the Straight Couples Who Were Waiting to Marry Until All Gay Couples Could

Roxy Davis Roxy and Jordan Davis pose for pictures at the California State Capitol building in Sacramento after getting married at the County Clerk/Recorder's Office on June 26, 2015.

Now that the boycott is over, it's time to get legal. Maybe. Or not...

Last Friday in Sacramento, Calif., Roxy Davis, 29, was scrolling through her Twitter feed when she saw the news that the U.S. Supreme Court had ruled that all 50 states had to recognize same-sex marriages. As tears streamed down her face, she woke her partner of seven-and-a-half years, 29-year-old law student Jordan Davis, and screamed “Let’s go get married!” After “boycotting marriage” for six years, the heterosexual couple went to a flag store, bought rainbow flags, and told loved ones to join them for a “celebration of marriage equality” at the County Clerk/Recorder office, where they were married in a civil ceremony.

Likewise, in Portland, Oregon, Zoe Zachariades and her partner of seven years, Boris Kaidanov, both 28, got text messages from their moms asking if they were going to get married. Zachariades says she texted back “yes, then I looked at Boris, and asked, ‘Oh, are we?’ He said yes, and we hugged.” The two, who have a five-month-old baby, haven’t set a date yet.

These are just a few of the straight couples who have been waiting to get married until same-sex marriages were recognized as legal nationwide. Likeminded couples made headlines for getting married in 2013, after the Supreme Court both struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and cleared the way for same-sex marriages to resume in California. But many also pledged not to wed until there was marriage equality in their states.

Even that wasn’t enough for Zachariades and Kaidanov. A federal judge ruled Oregon’s ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional last May, but the pair still held out. “We would do it when everyone in our country could do it,” Zachariades explains. She said their decision was influenced by college classes that taught them about “gay rights as human rights, and we wanted to be part of change.”

Zachariades and Kaidanov wanted to “bring more awareness to our friends and family” about the issue, as did Jordan Davis, who says, “I was boycotting marriage because I have family members who would say we don’t need marriage equality. They thought [the gay marriage debate] was someone else’s problem, so I was trying to make it their problem, too.”

Straight celebrities have also generated mainstream attention for this unusual cause. Actress Kristen Bell, who pledged not to get married until her gay and lesbian friends could marry, popped the question to actor Dax Shepard in a tweet on Jun 26, 2013 after the Supreme Court struck down DOMA. Likewise, there were rumors that the court’s decision may have inspired Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to tie the knot, after Pitt famously said in 2006 that they’d only do it “when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able.” When they wed secretly in August 2014, it was seen as a sign that they thought same-sex marriage was allowed in enough states.

And most recently, Girls creator Lena Dunham told Ellen DeGeneres that she and her boyfriend, musician Jack Antonoff, would not get hitched until gay marriage was recognized in all 50 states. After the Supreme Court handed down that decision last Friday, she tweeted “.@jackantonoff Get on it, yo…”

There are also straight couples who have used their weddings to advocate for marriage equality, either by incorporating lines from court decisions on same-sex marriage into readings at their ceremonies, or asking guests to sign petitions supporting marriage equality, or by wearing lapel pins with a white-knot, a symbol of the movement.

As a “show of solidarity for our gay friends and family members,” Tony Curtis, 35, and Beth Moore, 33, of Louisville, Kentucky, had been planning a commitment ceremony at the LGBT-friendly Douglass Boulevard Christian Church — where, up until last Friday, ministers had refused to sign marriage licenses for straight couples until same-sex couples could get married statewide. (The Supreme Court case decided last Friday involved plaintiffs from Kentucky.) The couple was then going to drive to either Iowa or Indiana to get their marriage license signed because Moore, a behavioral analyst, said she didn’t want to get her marriage license signed in a state where same-sex and heterosexual marriages were not viewed equally under the law because she was frustrated by the way her relatives referred to her mom’s cousin and his husband as “roommates” at family reunions.

“I realized that if we had children, I wouldn’t want my children to think that their marriage was any less official or less important than other marriages or other relationships,” says Moore. Engaged since August 2014, the two now plan to marry in Louisville on July 18 and have the Douglass Boulevard Christian Church sign their marriage license.

But for some it was hard to find a partner willing to wait as a matter of principle. Mary Lunetta, a 33-year-old policy analyst in San Diego, (who was first quoted on this topic in the 2006 New York Times article “The Sit-In at the Altar: No ‘I Do’ Till Gays Can Do It, Too”) says her aunt came out as a lesbian at the same time that she got engaged. After talking with her fiancé, who also had gay family members, they agreed to wait. “How could I get married if my aunt couldn’t do that? It just didn’t seem right,” she told TIME. “I wouldn’t want to claim something for myself that was denied to people I love.” They ended up breaking off their engagement after she moved to take a new job.

Since then, she hasn’t met a guy who completely shares her views. She says she broke up with her boyfriend of two-and-a-half years about a month ago because “he wanted to get married, and he was supportive of marriage equality, but he didn’t understand my hesitation to do it until everyone in the country had that right. He’s not the only one who didn’t get the desire to wait. In discussions about this topic online, some critics argue these statements are akin to “not eating until there are no starving people in the world anymore.”

After last Friday’s Supreme Court ruling, Lunetta says she is definitely open to getting married when she finds the right person. “Now that we can stop talking about who should and should not be allowed marry, we should talk about how to commit ourselves to a true, loving partnership,” she says. “I’m a millennial, and a lot of millennials are the kids of divorced parents, so we don’t know how to do the good, solid, loving partnerships thing.”

That comment may especially resonate among the share of American adults who have never married, which is at a “record-high,” according to a Sep. 2014 Pew Research report. “We felt committed enough to one another that we didn’t need a piece of paper anyway,” Zachariades put it simply. Also, some of the straight couples TIME interviewed haven’t felt pressured to get married because they work for companies that recognize domestic partnerships which allows them to get health insurance for their partners.

Still, marriage is tempting because of the government and tax benefits it offers. Fawn Livingston-Gray, 42, and Sam Livingston-Gray, 40, were featured in the 2006 New York Times article as a couple that weren’t going to marry till there was marriage quality, while they did wear “matching white-gold rings engraved with Celtic designs.”

Now, nine years later, the Portland, Ore. couple have a six-year-old daughter, and the decision is as much about practicalities as principle. Fawn, a volunteer coordinator at a women’s crisis hotline who identifies as bisexual, says they’re still considering marriage because of the “protections for our kid and access to things like Social Security when we’re older, and it would probably save us money to file tax returns jointly.”

TIME relationships

Women Keeping Their Maiden Names More Often, Report Finds

It may not be for the reason you think

More women are opting against saying “I do” to changing their last names.

According to a new analysis by New York TimesThe Upshot blog, about 30% of women in recent years have decided to keep their maiden names in some way after getting married. The Upshot finds about 20% keep their last name in full, while 10% have opted to hyphenate their two names.

The number of women who have decided not to take on their husband’s last name has risen since the 1980s and 1990s, when only 14% and 18% of women kept their maiden names, respectively. Women most likely to keep their names are high-income urban women—like those featured in the Times wedding section, among whom some 29.5% have kept their maiden names in recent years, up from 16.2 percent in 1990.

Not every woman opts to keep her surname in the name of gender equality, the newspaper reports. “It’s not necessarily a feminist reason, but it’s just my name for 33 years of my life,” said Donna Suh, who married last year. “Plus, I’m Asian and he’s not, so it’s less confusing for me to not have a white name. And on social media I thought it might be harder to find me.”

[NYT]

TIME psychology

10 Ways a Little Kindness Can Change Your Life

hands-holding
Getty Images

Eric Barker writes Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

Join over 195,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

Related posts:

How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips

How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert

New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful

TIME Ideas hosts the world's leading voices, providing commentary and expertise on the most compelling events in news, society, and culture. We welcome outside contributions. To submit a piece, email ideas@time.com.

TIME remembrance

Watch Sheryl Sandberg Pay Tribute to Her Late Husband in Commencement Speech

The Facebook COO spoke Saturday at Beijing's Tsinghua School of Economics and Management

Sheryl Sandberg paid tribute to her late husband Dave Goldberg in her commencement address Saturday at Beijing’s Tsinghua School of Economics and Management.

The Facebook COO offered four key points of leadership in her speech, one of which is that nothing should ever solely be someone else’s problem.

“Yes, people will do what their bosses tell them to do in most organizations,” Sandberg said. “But great leaders do not just want to secure compliance. They want to elicit genuine enthusiasm, complete trust and real dedication. They don’t just win the minds of their teams, they win their hearts.”

“No one won more hearts than my beloved husband Dave Goldberg, who passed away suddenly two months ago,” she continued about Goldberg, who was 47 at the time of his death. “Dave was a truly inspiring leader. He was kind. He was generous. He was thoughtful. He raised the level of performance of everyone around him. He did it as CEO of SurveyMonkey, an amazing company that he helped build. He did it for me and for our children.”

Sandberg shared a quote from a friend who described Goldberg as having “showed us all exactly what being a great human being looks like … but it was never frustrating because Dave’s greatness was not competitive or threatening. It was gentle, inspirational and egoless. He was the quintessential standard for the notion of leading by example.”

This article was originally published in the Hollywood Reporter

TIME relationships

First Same-Sex Couple Marries in Dallas County After 50-Year Wait

Judge Dennise Garcia, left front, watches as George Harris, center left, 82, and Jack Evans, center right, 85, kiss after being married by Judge Garcia in Dallas on June 26, 2015.
Tony Gutierrez—AP Judge Dennise Garcia, left front, watches as George Harris, center left, 82, and Jack Evans, center right, 85, kiss after being married by Judge Garcia in Dallas on June 26, 2015.

Jack Evans and George Harris were the first same-sex couple to wed in Dallas County, Texas

Jack Evans, 85, and George Harris, 82, waited over half a century for this moment.

The men, together for 54 years, were the first same-sex couple to wed today in Dallas County.

Their nuptials came just hours after the Supreme Court’s landmark decision enabling gay couples to marry in all 50 states.

Evans tells PEOPLE of his wedding day: “You would have been blown away by the crowd there, there must have been 450 people there, people waiting to get married, reporters. It was amazing. Just amazing.”

Read the rest of the story at People.com

TIME LGBT

See How Support For Same-Sex Marriage Changed Over Time

See how attitudes have changed over the years

The Supreme Court ruled Friday that all 50 states must allow same-sex couples to be married, and recognize same-sex marriages in states where it was legalized already.

Here are a series of charts that show how approval ratings for same-sex marriage have changed over recent years for different groups.

TIME Ideas hosts the world's leading voices, providing commentary and expertise on the most compelling events in news, society, and culture. We welcome outside contributions. To submit a piece, email ideas@time.com.

MONEY consumer psychology

When Money Can Bring You Happiness

536992331
Matt Dutile—Getty Images

Here are 3 reasons to spend yours wisely.

You’ve heard the refrain countless times: Money can’t buy happiness.

Or love. Or class, for that matter.

But a wave of new research suggests that cash can indeed increase your pleasure—if you manage it the right way.

In fact, the influence of money on well-being is such a hot topic that experts around the country have devoted their studies to it.

Want a peek at what some of them have discovered?

We asked three researchers who spend their days delving into the ties between money and satisfaction to divulge their most intriguing revelations—and explain how you can leverage their insights to get happier.

Professor Michael Norton Says … Spend on Others to Be Happy

A professor of business administration at Harvard Business School, Norton has an interest in the intersection between finance and personal satisfaction that stems from his diverse academic experience.

After earning a Ph.D. in psychology, Norton received a fellowship to study business at the MIT Media Lab and the Sloan School of Management.

“Considering how much time people spend thinking about how to increase money and happiness, [I wanted] to figure out the relationship between the two,” the co-author of “Happy Money” explains. “[I wanted to know], when it comes to how we spend, are we getting it right?”

His Key Findings Initially, Norton, 40, uncovered that people spend most of their money on themselves.

“But my fellow researchers and I thought maybe this wasn’t the best way—that an outsized focus on the self might be part of the reason why having more money doesn’t necessarily make us happier,” Norton says.

To test his hypothesis, Norton designed a study in 2008 in which participants rated their happiness before being handed an envelope containing cash. Half were instructed to spend the money on a personal expense or gift for themselves; the rest were told to donate it or buy a gift for someone else.

The results? Those who gave the money away reported higher levels of satisfaction, whereas those who spent on themselves weren’t any happier.

Curious to understand the implications, Norton conducted a few more experiments.

In one, Belgian salespeople received 15 euros to spend either on themselves or on a co-worker. In another, recreational dodgeball players were asked to use $20 for their own purposes or for a teammate’s.

Time and again, people who gave money away reported increased happiness compared with the control group.

Not only that, but their performance improved. For every $10 a salesperson spent on herself, the employer reaped $3 in sales—but every $10 employees spent on co-workers translated to $52 in sales.

Likewise, charitable dodgeball teams scored more goals. Every $10 spent selfishly led to a 2% decrease in wins, but $10 spent on teammates increased them by 11%.

How to Boost Your Own Bliss While any degree of generosity will up your joy, some kinds of giving are more powerful than others. “The closer you are to the recipient, the happier you’ll be,” Norton says.

So buying flowers for your mom has a greater effect than, say, contributing to a stranger’s Kickstarter campaign.

And while the amount you spend doesn’t influence your happiness, Norton says, theimpact of your contribution does.

For example, when it comes to charitable giving, you’ll get the most bliss for your buck if you donate to organizations that create a personal link between the giver and the recipient, such as Kiva or Adopt A Child.

But regardless of who you give to, try to make it a habit. “The happiness surge you feel from a one-time gift eventually wears off, but people who chronically give are happier overall,” Norton says.

Professor Cassie Mogilner Says … Shell Out for Experiences to Be Happy

In 2004, when Mogilner was working her tail off as a marketing Ph.D. candidate at Stanford, she perpetually found herself strapped for cash and time.

“In business school, there’s so much attention focused on the bottom line,” says Mogilner, an associate professor of marketing at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School. “But I realized that, for me, time felt like a much more precious resource than money.”

Intrigued, she began to channel her research efforts toward investigating the association between time, money and happiness.

Her Key Findings Over the past 10 years, Mogilner, 35, has found that time is a significant happiness predictor because, more so than your possessions, how you spend your spare hours reveals your interests and unique “you-ness.”

Just look at social media: People share photos of weddings, vacations and delicious dinners—but you don’t see many posts about trips to the mall.

To that point, Mogilner has also investigated how long we enjoy the mental boost that comes from temporal experiences versus material goods. “We get used to a new pair of shoes very quickly—it’s a phenomenon known as hedonic adaptation,” she says.

So while you might be psyched about your new boots at first, before long, they’re relegated to the back of the closet. Instead of being a source of joy, they now serve a purely functional purpose.

“In contrast, we adapt more slowly to experiences,” Mogilner says. “The way we spend time becomes a part of our memories—our personal narrative.”

People also tend to feel less regret after shelling out for a good time, adds Mogilner.

“After you spend $100 on a dress, you can see the other dresses you didn’t buy right there in the store,” she explains. “But if you spend $100 at a restaurant, you’re less likely to second-guess your decision because you can’t see the alternative meals you passed up.”

How to Boost Your Own Bliss Mogilner’s latest research focuses on the concept of buying more positive time—such as renting an apartment closer to work as opposed to buying a luxury car in which to commute.

“Our lives are the sum of our experiences, so we should be supremely deliberate in spending our time in the best and happiest ways possible,” she says.

Her preliminary findings? People are more satisfied when they outsource a chore anyone can do, like cleaning the house or picking up dry-cleaning.

And when it comes to deciding how to use the time you’ve just freed up, Mogilner says you can maximize your happiness by keeping a few points in mind.

“Activities with a social aspect have the strongest effect,” she says, pointing to things like a family picnic, a concert with friends or a date night with your spouse. “Social activities increase happiness because they cultivate relationships with others—and having strong, stable connections with others is the most important ingredient for well-being.”

Another satisfaction inducer, she says, is experiencing out-of-the-ordinary events—such as taking a vacation somewhere new and exciting—which will have a greater impact on happiness than everyday pleasures.

Speaking of vacations, you can get even more happiness bang for your buck if you book your trip well in advance.

Research published in the journal Applied Research in Quality of Life found that just anticipating a getaway is as enjoyable as the trip itself. So start planning your winter break—now!

Professor Jeffrey Dew Says … Get on the Same Financial Page With Your Partner to Be Happy

Fifteen years ago, Dew and his wife were colleagues in the mental health field, but partway into his career, Dew had a change of heart and decided to enroll at Penn State for a dual Ph.D. in human development and family studies.

His transition back to student life had major consequences: He and his wife lost their benefits and half their income.

“I wondered how the change in our financial situation might impact us as a couple,” says the 38-year-old Dew, who’s now an associate professor in the department of family, consumer and human development at Utah State University. “I looked at the scientific literature, and found that not many researchers had asked this question.”

So he decided to explore it himself—ultimately uncovering a major connection between money and marital happiness.

His Key Findings In 2012, Dew and his colleagues analyzed data after following married couples over the course of five years. In an initial survey, the spouses were asked how often they fought about various topics, including money, chores, intimacy and time spent together.

Dew was particularly curious to see if any of those arguments correlated to divorce rates, and found a striking trend: For men, money fights were the only conflict that predicted a split. For women, money and intimacy were equally loaded—but financial disputes were a much stronger divorce determinant.

In fact, couples who argued about money several times per week were 37% more likely to divorce than those who only had financial spats once a month.

Why are finances such a fraught subject? Dew has a few guesses.

“Money fights are frequently a stand-in for bigger relationship issues,” he explains. “On the surface, an argument might appear to be about overspending, but underneath, it’s a struggle over trust or power.”

Plus, if you’re under financial duress, there’s likely an added layer of stress to a relationship—and that can take a serious toll.

So Dew and his team did a follow-up study in 2013 with 450 married and cohabiting couples, with the goal of determining how happy couples combat financial pressures.

“We looked at the frequency of their financial management behaviors, such as creating a joint budget and putting money aside for retirement,” he says. “[And what we found is that] the more often couples engaged in sound financial practices together, the more likely they were to be happy.”

How to Boost Your Own Bliss The secret to happiness, according to Dew, is to get on the same financial page with your partner by opening the lines of communication as soon as possible.

That’s not to say you have to agree on everything. “Most issues can be worked through, although it will take compromise from both sides,” Dew says.

Dew’s suggestion: Commit to regular money dates—be it monthly or quarterly.

“And try sandwiching these financial discussions between two enjoyable activities, so that they’re less stressful,” Dew says. Consider opening a bottle of wine while you go over the numbers, and then head to dinner or a movie afterward.

One thing to focus on during your money date nights? A financial goal that’s meaningful to both of you, such as saving for a dream trip to Hawaii two years from now or paying off your house by 2020.

“It’s so easy for money to drive people apart,” Dew says. “But by having a shared objective, you can instead use it to bring you closer together.”

More From LearnVest:

 

MONEY Love and Money

Financial Habits That Will Make You Sexier

couple on first date, man paying with credit card
Alamy

Money skills are more important than good looks when seeking a mate.

Ditch the makeup and hair products. Your budgeting skills might be the thing you should really show off on your next date.

In a recent survey about relationships and finances, MONEY found that both baby boomers and millennials agree on the three most attractive traits in a potential mate: a sense of humor, compassion, and—yes—financial responsibility. For both groups, those qualities all rank higher than physical chemistry, diligence, and even intellect.



Don’t worry if you don’t make a ton of money now. The survey, which included about some 500 millennial and 500 boomer respondents, found that smart financial habits were deemed more important than current salary among members of both age groups.

Both generations ranked budgeting and timely bill paying as particularly attractive behavior, though younger survey takers were more likely to value future earning potential in a mate. Property ownership was the least important for both generations.

Read next: Are You and Your Partner a Money Match?

TIME psychology

2 Things That Lead to a Happy Life, Backed By Research

children-sitting-fence
Getty Images

Eric Barker writes Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

I’ve posted a number of times about two nearly-lifelong studies: the Terman Study (covered in The Longevity Project) and the Grant Study (covered in Triumphs of Experience.)

While different in some respects, both followed a sample of people from youth until death and provided insights into what makes for a happy life.

What two big ideas do they both strongly agree on?

 

1) A Happy Childhood Matters More Than You Think

The Grant Study found being happy when you’re old is tied to having had a warm childhood:

Vaillant concludes that a loving childhood is one of the best predictors of mid and late-life riches: “We found that contentment in the late seventies was not even suggestively associated with parental social class or even the man’s own income. What it was significantly associated with was warmth of childhood environment, and it was very significantly associated with a man’s closeness to his father.”

The Terman Study realized that “Parental divorce during childhood was the single strongest social predictor of early death.”

Via The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight-Decade Study:

The long-term health effects of parental divorce were often devastating— it was indeed a risky circumstance that changed the pathways of many of the young Terman participants. Children from divorced families died almost five years earlier on average than children from intact families. Parental divorce, not parental death, was the risk. In fact, parental divorce during childhood was the single strongest social predictor of early death, many years into the future.

Sadly, our own childhoods are not something we can change, but this is something to keep in mind if you are or will be raising kids.

2) Relationships are the Most Important Thing

What was the Terman study’s most important recommendation for a longer life?

…connecting with and helping others is more important than obsessing over a rigorous exercise program.

Read that sentence again. It wasn’t receiving help from others, it was giving it:

Via The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight-Decade Study:

We figured that if a Terman participant sincerely felt that he or she had friends and relatives to count on when having a hard time then that person would be healthier. Those who felt very loved and cared for, we predicted, would live the longest. Surprise: our prediction was wrong… Beyond social network size, the clearest benefit of social relationships came from helping others. Those who helped their friends and neighbors, advising and caring for others, tended to live to old age.

The Grant Study found that “the capacity to love and be loved was the single strength most clearly associated with subjective well-being at age eighty.”

Via Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being:

Vaillant’s insight came from his seminal work on the Grant Study, an almost seventy-year (and ongoing) longitudinal investigation of the developmental trajectories of Harvard College graduates. (This study is also referred to as the Harvard Study.) In a study led by Derek Isaacowitz, we found that the capacity to love and be loved was the single strength most clearly associated with subjective well-being at age eighty.

“Vaillant was asked, ‘What have you learned from the Grant Study men?’ Vaillant’s response: ‘That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.‘”

Vaillant’s other main interest is the power of relationships. “It is social aptitude,” he writes, “not intellectual brilliance or parental social class, that leads to successful aging.” Warm connections are necessary—and if not found in a mother or father, they can come from siblings, uncles, friends, mentors. The men’s relationships at age 47, he found, predicted late-life adjustment better than any other variable, except defenses. Good sibling relationships seem especially powerful: 93 percent of the men who were thriving at age 65 had been close to a brother or sister when younger. In an interview in the March 2008 newsletter to the Grant Study subjects, Vaillant was asked, “What have you learned from the Grant Study men?” Vaillant’s response: “That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”

The Grant Study realized there was a single yes/no question that could predict whether someone would be alive and happy at age 80:

“Is there someone in your life whom you would feel comfortable phoning at four in the morning to tell your troubles to?”

Via Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being:

Is there someone in your life whom you would feel comfortable phoning at four in the morning to tell your troubles to? If your answer is yes, you will likely live longer than someone whose answer is no. For George Vaillant, the Harvard psychiatrist who discovered this fact, the master strength is the capacity to be loved.

More on the Terman study here. More on the Grant Study here.

Join over 195,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

Related posts:

How To Stop Being Lazy And Get More Done – 5 Expert Tips

How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert

New Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More Successful

TIME Ideas hosts the world's leading voices, providing commentary and expertise on the most compelling events in news, society, and culture. We welcome outside contributions. To submit a piece, email ideas@time.com.

Your browser is out of date. Please update your browser at http://update.microsoft.com