TIME Family

This Is How You Can Put a Baby to Sleep in Less Than 60 Seconds

All you need is some tissue paper

If you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked, don’t give up just yet. Simply reach for the Kleenex.

In under a minute, YouTuber and Australian father Nathan Dailo sends his baby to sleep by gently tickling the infant’s face with tissue paper.

“The tissue trick isn’t actually anything special. Any light touching on the baby’s facial areas such as the head, forehead or the bridge of the nose also works,” Dailo tells TIME.

The video has garnered more than 4 million views and inspired innumerable other parents to deploy the technique. However, Dailo cautions that his technique isn’t the only one.

“Remember that each child is different, and what works for some parents may not work for others. And always use you’re instincts. You are the parent,” Dailo stresses.

MONEY Kids and Money

How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Obsessed With ‘Stuff’

Chris Gash

As parents we want to give our children everything—but hope they don't start to expect it.

Years ago, after I’d gone off to college, a job opportunity led my parents out of the affluent suburbs of Philadelphia and into an economically diverse town in Massachusetts. They were happy for the move because it offered a more affordable life with the bonus of separating my younger brother, Todd, then 7, from the “spoiled rich kids.”

In Philly my parents had rented a two-bedroom apartment while my brother’s classmates lived in million-dollar homes. And it had become increasingly difficult to explain to Todd why he couldn’t have the newest videogame or why we didn’t go to Europe over spring break. “It was a bad environment for all of us,” my mom recalls. The move was a blessing as my parents aimed to unspoil my brother.

No matter where you live, raising kids who appreciate the value of a dollar isn’t easy—and it’s only gotten tougher since my parents were doing it. “We’re in a world that conspires against waiting,” says Ron Lieber, author of The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. “So much is available so easily and for so much less money. It’s easy to be in a situation where kids can get what they want without having to sweat it out.”

But what if your child is already obsessed with “stuff”? Can you reverse the trend before you end up with an entitled adult? Experts say yes (phew). Start with these steps.

Share Your Narrative

Explain to your kids why they can’t have certain things by laying out your values and priorities. Maybe you want to uphold attitudes you learned from your hardworking immigrant parents. Perhaps you’re saving for a bigger home. Sharing your stories and showing you’re maintaining the values yourself “can help take some of the sting out,” says Lieber. “Kids like knowing they’re part of a continuum.”

Set Limits…to an Extent

Rather than rejecting your child’s wants outright, allow him to make choices—and learn about trade-offs. With a teen, for example, you could set a clothing budget and let her decide how to spend it. You could help a littler one create a list that ranks desired toys in order of importance.

Make Them Earn It

Requiring kids to earn some wants through chores or a job can help curb entitlement, experts say. Case in point: When Susan Beacham, founder of financial education firm Money Savvy Generation, sent her two daughters to college, she and her husband paid for tuition but refused to cover extras like sorority dues—for those costs, the girls had to get jobs. Beacham found that this motivated her daughters to dispute certain charges they didn’t think were fair. “We gave them a sense of personal responsibility,” says Beacham. “That value would not have surfaced if they hadn’t been spending their own money.”

Farnoosh Torabi is a contributing editor at Money Magazine and the author of When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women. Her new podcast So Money features intimate interviews with leading entrepreneurs, authors and influencers. Visit SoMoneyPodcast.com.

TIME Infectious Disease

Parents Hunt for Answers on Kids’ Mysterious Paralysis

Mikell Sheehan Eight-year-old Bailey Sheehan was diagnosed with mysterious paralysis in October.

"Over 100 kids are paralyzed and no one’s talking about it"

In August 2014, a small number of children began turning up at emergency rooms around the country with symptoms of severe respiratory disease.

“Our hospital was overflowing,” recalls Dr. Sam Dominguez, a microbial epidemiologist at Children’s Hospital Colorado, in Aurora.

From the last week of August through the first three weeks of September, the hospital admitted 325 patients with respiratory symptoms, compared to an average of 130 during the same period the previous two years. “This disease was unprecedented for that time of the year,” says Dominguez.

Soon, it was discovered that many of the children were suffering from a specific strain of enterovirus: EV-D68. Many children who get enteroviruses have no symptoms at all; others develop what amounts to a nasty flu. But in this new outbreak, some kids were turning up with weak or paralyzed limbs, stumping doctors.

When the first case of sudden and unexplained partial-paralysis turned up at his hospital, Dominguez says the situation was unusual but not completely unheard of. Two weeks later, another child showed up with limb weakness and paralysis. The following week, there were four more cases. “We were very worried,” says Dominguez. The hospital called the health department and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) for insight.

The CDC reached out to public health authorities in other states and sure enough, states across the country were reporting bizarre cases of children coming in unable to move their limbs. From August 2014 to early March 2015, 115 children in 34 states have been diagnosed with what authorities are calling acute flaccid myelitis (AFM).

One of them is an 8-year-old named Bailey. Bailey’s mother, Mikell Sheehan, says that a few days after the family came down with what she describes as a bad cold, she discovered her daughter collapsed in the bathroom in their Oregon home, unable to move her leg.

In December, in California, Megan and Ryan Barr noticed their 6-year-old son Ryder was playing with only his left hand because his right arm felt funny. “It’s hard to explain to a six-year-old what’s happening to them,” says Megan.

One problem for doctors is that the sudden onset of paralysis among children, while rare, happens from time to time with other ailments, including West Nile or Guillain-Barré syndrome. Sorting between the possible causes—and deciphering what’s normal and what’s cause for concern—can be difficult, but experts agree this recent cluster is out of the ordinary.

“The short answer is yes, I think the cluster [of AFM] is connected,” says Dr. Jim Sejvar, a neuroepidemiologist with the CDC investigating AFM. “One of the challenges is there are a lot of different reasons kids can develop [sudden paralysis]. It’s a fruit salad. I think what we saw in the summer and fall of 2014, the vast majority of those children had the same thing. Whether it’s directly related to EV-D68, that’s the part we are trying to sort out.”

No Smoking Gun

Even more confounding to experts is the fact that no two cases are quite alike. Medical officials say a link between EV-D68 and AFM seems obvious, since the two upticks in cases occurred simultaneously. But while some of the paralyzed kids have tested positive for EV-D68, many haven’t. In January, the CDC reported that among 71 paralyzed patients who had their cerebrospinal fluid tested, not a single one was positive for enterovirus.

“The concurrence of EV-D68 and AFM is pretty difficult to ignore,” says Sejvar. “In the absence of any clear alternative, there is a suspicion that EV-D68 could potentially have played a role [in these cases of paralysis and limb weakness]. Unfortunately we don’t have the smoking gun that would allow us to say with absolute certainty that’s the case.”

An early attempt to establish diagnostic criteria for AFM was highly specific, with MRI images of lesions in the spinal chord being a requirement. But now experts worry that criteria set the bar higher than it should have been. “We know we are missing cases,” says Sejvar, who says MRI images can appear different based on when it’s taken. “It’s entirely consistent and possible that some children do have AFM, but for one reason or another were not meeting the CDC case definition that includes the MRI findings.”

While the CDC is still actively investigating what may have caused the recent cluster of AFM cases, it’s hit roadblocks. For instance, the agency developed an antibody test to see whether children with AFM were also more likely to have antibodies against EV-D68 compared to other healthy children. But the researchers discovered that nearly everyone in the general public has those antibodies, making the comparison useless to investigators.

Parents are looking for answers, too. A few days after Sheehan’s daughter was featured in a local news story, a woman named Erin Olivera, from Moorpark, California, sent her a friend request on Facebook. She said she’d gone through the same experience with her 3-year-old son Lucian in 2012. Though Lucian has slowly gained back some control over his legs since the initial onset, Olivera says he’s not “100%” and that she’s still looking for answers.

“I realize it’s frustrating to not have a definitive answer, particularly for parents,” says the CDC’s Sejvar. “We are working as hard as we can to establish the underlying cause.”

Parents Band Together

Together, Olivera and Sheehan created two Facebook support groups—one public, one for members—for families impacted by AFM. They launched the groups in January and now have about 90 members.

“We have a lot of polls going to see if we can figure out similarities,” says Sheehan. The patterns the women have noticed include: Most of the kids, their parents say, developed respiratory infections some time between August and December 2014, and shortly after that, their children had numbness, weakness or paralysis in one or more of their limbs. Many of the children were given steroids to treat their respiratory symptoms. Many had siblings who were also ill with a respiratory virus but had no paralysis. And many of the children have family members who have autoimmune diseases. (Some of these shared experiences are more substantiated than others.)

Some of the parents have signed up their kids for a clinical trial at Johns Hopkins that’s comparing the DNA of children with AFM who had an enterovirus infection to their siblings who also got sick but were not paralyzed. The researchers want to see if there are any genetic mutations that may make one child paralyzed and the other not.

Sheehan and Olivera plan to create a hub where science-based information about the disease can be easily shared by families facing similar situations. They hope growing awareness will encourage more attention for their children and the mysterious disorder. And just as much as the parents share research, they also share frustration. “There’s over 100 kids who are paralyzed and no one’s talking about it,’” says Megan Barr. “We are all kind of feeling around in the dark.”

Read next: Nearly Half a Million Babies Die From Poor Hygiene

Listen to the most important stories of the day.

MONEY kids

Shocker! Tooth Fairy Surveys Can’t Be Trusted

girl holding up tooth
Getty Images

The big lie about the Tooth Fairy—one of the big lies anyway—is that the reports about how much a child gets under the pillow after losing a tooth are meaningful.

According to the just-released Original Tooth Fairy Poll from Delta Dental, losing baby teeth has gotten significantly more lucrative for American kids. The survey, based on input from more than 1,000 parents around the country, indicates that the average gift left by the Tooth Fairy for a lost tooth was $4.36 in 2014. That’s up from an average of $3.50 in 2013, representing an increase of about 25%.

Based on the data, kids who live in the South have more valuable teeth than their counterparts nationally: They average $5.16 per tooth left under the pillow, compared with $4.16 and $4.68 in the Northeast and West, respectively. Children in the stingy Midwest, on the other hand, receive only $2.83 per tooth on average.

The poll is being presented as a positive economic indicator, with the idea that the Tooth Fairy becomes more generous hand in hand with households getting raises and a surging stock market. “Kids are benefiting from the recovering U.S. economy,” the press release announcing the poll states.

It should be somewhat worrisome, then, that another Tooth Fairy payment study has it that the amount of cash kids get for losing teeth has been on the decline. The Visa Tooth Fairy Survey shows that American children received an average of $3.70 per tooth in 2013—not far off from the Delta Dental estimate of $3.50—but in 2014 that figure dropped 8%, to $3.40. That’s nearly a full $1 off the Delta Dental figure for 2014.

The results of both surveys are in agreement that the Midwest pays the least for lost teeth, but in the Visa poll, it’s the kids who live in the West, not the South, who are most spoiled with premium payments under the pillow. Children in the West average $3.60 per tooth, according to the Visa survey, followed by the South and Northeast (about $3.50), with the Midwest at the cheap end ($3.10).

Why are there such disparities between the two surveys? Among other reasons, outliers, in the form of households that pay big bucks for baby teeth. A few years back, for example, instances of tooth rewards hitting $20 and sometimes even $50 a pop began surfacing. “Only” 3.6% of Visa survey respondents said the Tooth Fairy Left $20 or more in 2014, a fall from 6% the year before. The most common gift, named by one-third of those polled, was just $1. So the outliers sure seem to sharply skew the average upward, far above the median or typical Tooth Fairy payment.

A large portion of respondents in both polls, meanwhile, said that the amount of cash one had on hand had a big influence in how much (or little) was left under the pillow. It also must be mentioned that a decent portion of those polled won’t remember exactly how much was left each time the Tooth Fairy visits, and/or that they’re fairly likely to recall the Tooth Fairy being more generous than she was in real life.

All of which indicates that Tooth Fairy payments—and surveys about Tooth Fairy payments—are pretty darn random. Shocking, we know.

TIME Bizarre

Parents Can’t Name Their Child ‘Nutella,’ French Court Says

A judge noted that Nutella "is the trade name of a spread"

A recently-born baby named Nutella was renamed by a court in the French city of Valenciennes after a judge ruled that the parents’ decision to the name the child after a food was against the child’s interest, according to a new report in the newspaper La Voix Du Nord.

“The name ‘Nutella’ given to the child is the trade name of a spread,” the court’s decision read, according to a translation. “And it is contrary to the child’s interest to be wearing a name like that can only lead to teasing or disparaging thoughts.”

The judge renamed the child Ella after the parents failed to show up at a court appointed day in November. The baby was born in September.

[La Voix Du Nord]

Read next: The Definitive Ranking of Nutella Alternatives

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TIME hockey

Angry Hockey Dad Smashes Safety Glass After Penalty Miss

"Way to go, Paul"

Sometimes people get a little too excited about sports, even if that sport is youth hockey. A parent gave a great example of this at recent tournament in York, Penn., when he became upset with a missed penalty call.

The father slaps the glass which somehow deteriorates under his hand sending shards all over the ice.

The York Daily Record spoke with the arena’s president, who said the man wedding ring concentrated the impact causing the safety glass to crumble.

“He broke the (wedding) ring,” Menzer said. “Apparently, his hand wasn’t in great shape either.”

Be sure to listen closely for the parent who drops a perfect “Way to go, Paul” after the refs stop the game while the glass is cleaned up.

This article originally appeared on SI.com.

TIME Family

How to Talk to Your Kids About Immigration

Hannibal Hanschke—Reuters Participants hold a banner during a demonstration called by anti-immigration group Patriotic Europeans Against the Islamization of the West (Pegida) in Dresden, Germany, on Dec. 15, 2014

News stories about the debate over the DREAM act, the tens of thousands of children who arrive unaccompanied in the U.S. each year and even the backlash against immigrants in Europe after the Charlie Hedbo killings can raise all kinds of questions and stir up all kinds of emotions for kids. This is especially true when they involve children being separated from their parents.

We talked with William Perez, Professor of Education at Claremont Graduate University and author of Americans By Heart: Undocumented Latino Students and the Promise of Higher Education, for his tips on starting good conversations with kids about immigration.

Elementary age kids won’t grasp the more abstract issues surrounding immigration, Perez says. So conversations with them can begin with the fact that almost everyone living in the U.S. today comes from a family of immigrants – including theirs. “A good start would be discussing their family’s history of migration to the U.S.,” he says. “Why did they first come? What were the conditions in the country of origin?” From there, the discussion can widen “to conversations about contemporary migration, and the reasons families decide to live in a new country.”

Middle school kids can wrestle with more complex issues, says Perez, so parents can encourage them to broaden their horizons, by “reading narratives from families of different backgrounds about their immigration experiences.” And all the stories don’t have to come from the pages of a book. Middle school is also a great time, says Perez, for students to start “asking friends, classmates, or extended family members about their migration experiences.” How did their friends’ families come to this country? What was the experience of their grandmother, grandfather, aunts and uncles?

High school students “should begin to understand how immigration policies affect immigrants and their families,” says Perez. Families can discuss questions like why do some states have pro-immigrant laws while others have anti-immigrant laws? Perez also suggests that high school students read news stories about immigration from different sources, regions, and countries. Parents can encourage them to absorb what they read by asking questions like “Do these sources talk about immigration in different ways? If so, how? And why?” (One place to start might be this story in New York about an immigrant family who works fast food jobs in Texas.)

The bottom line, according to Perez: make sure that kids understand that immigration didn’t stop at Ellis Island. “Teaching about the history of immigration is important,” he says. But it’s also very important to help kids connect that history and current policies to their families and community.

TIME Parents

7 Ways to Monitor Your Kid’s Phone, Tablet and Laptop

kids and devices
Richard Lewisohn—Getty Images/Cultura RF

It's not spying if they're your kids

As a parent, you have the right to know what the kids in your care are doing with their digital devices, and to control what kids can see and use. It’s key to introduce controls and rules when a device is new so you and your child can be clear about what is and isn’t O.K. during screen time.

First of all, the device your family or child will use likely has its own parental control options. Some can screen out Internet access altogether, and others can filter out certain sites. Because they are all different, the best plan is to read up on the parental controls for each device and operating system your family will use.

Below are some tools for monitoring or limiting the amount of time the device is in use, tracking the software or apps used, and more.

Windows PCs When you create an account designated as a child’s account, you get the option to enable Family Safety settings. Family Safety allows you to monitor and /or time the usage from your child’s account, block certain applications or sites, and get weekly reports reviewing the activity on the account.

Macs If you and your child use separate Macs, you can share screens in addition to turning on Parental Controls. Log on as Administrator on your child’s Mac, go to the Sharing preferences and choose Screen Sharing. Continue to “Allow Access For” and choose Administrators. When you are on your Mac, go to the Finder and choose Go: Network to see your child’s Mac. Click on Share Screen to see the activity.

Software You can purchase software to further monitor or block kids’ access, which allows varying levels of censorship, depending on your kids’ ages and your house rules. Intego makes a highly rated one for Macs, Verity by NCH Software makes a popular one for PCs.

Tablets Each will have its own parental control settings, which will operate similarly to the corresponding computer operating system’s settings, described above.

Phones If your kid has any kind of smartphone, backing up the phone’s content to your own PC or Mac is a good idea. This way, you will be aware of which apps are being used on the phone, and you’ll be able to see what calls and text messages your child is making.

Be sure to activate the basic security features, as well as any further limitations on usage you want, in the phone’s setting before your child begins to use the phone.

GPS location trackers

Life360 Has a security map that will show you the precise location of each family member, as well as allow you all to communicate about you whereabouts. It’s free, and works with iPhone, Android, Windows Phone, and BlackBerrys.

Securafone This app lets parents set up boundaries on a map, and alerts them if kids wander outside the boundaries. It also has a panic button that kids can press to immediately dial a parent or other authority if trouble arises. Free, and works with iPhone and Android.

Phone service providers: AT&T, Verizon, Sprint and other carriers also offer GPS tracking unique to their users. Check your plan and see what services are included.

Finally, how about trying to spend less time on your own Facebook page or gossip news site, to allow more time for joint media experiences with your family? You can block yourself (and your distractible kids) from such time wasters. SelfControl can be yours, free of charge.

This story was part of Time For Family’s special report on kids and screens. Click here for Time’s special deal for families.

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