TIME Vatican

The Vatican Calls Ireland’s Vote for Same-Sex Marriage a ‘Defeat for Humanity’

Drag queen and gay rights activist Rory O'Neill, known by his stage name as Panti Bliss arrives at the Central Count Centre in Dublin Castle, Dublin on May 23, 2015
Brian Lawless—;PA Wire/Press Association Images Drag queen and gay-rights activist Rory O'Neill, known by his stage name Panti Bliss, arrives at the central count center at Dublin Castle, in Dublin on May 23, 2015

The remark is the most critical made by the church so far

Ireland’s recent referendum approving same-sex marriages has drawn sharp condemnation from a senior Vatican official, who described it as “a defeat for humanity,” the Guardian reports.

“I was deeply saddened by the result,” said the Vatican’s Secretary of State, Cardinal Pietro Parolin, on Tuesday. “The church must take account of this reality, but in the sense that it must strengthen its commitment to evangelization. I think that you cannot just talk of a defeat for Christian principles, but of a defeat for humanity.”

Parolin is regarded as the highest official in the church hierarchy after the Pope. His hard-line stance will be greeted with dismay by Catholics hoping for a softening in the church’s position on homosexuality. They come after the Vatican’s recent refusal to accept a gay Catholic, Laurent Stefanini, as France’s ambassador to the Holy See because of his sexuality, the Guardian reports, citing French and Italian media.

This month’s Irish referendum saw 62% of voters coming out in favor of marriage equality for gays and lesbians.

[Guardian]

TIME society

14 Pieces of Practical Dating Advice From My 85-Year-Old Grandmother

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xoJane.com is where women go to be their unabashed selves, and where their unabashed selves are applauded

"Even though I married at 21, I think it’s alright to wait, especially in today’s dating world"

xojane

Dating these days can be frustrating and confusing. With all of the technology, dating apps and hook-up culture, things can get complicated.

My friends and I usually try to help each other out when it comes to crushes, but at 22-23 years old, we are all relatively new to the dating world. We all have different opinions on how to approach it. That’s why I decided to take a step back and talk to someone with a little more wisdom: my 85-year-old grandmother.

I am extremely fortunate to have two healthy and loving grandmothers that are still alive today. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own life that I forget to call, or more importantly, forget to listen to the people who always have time to call and listen to me.

I’ve come to realize by talking with my grandmothers that older people are often more than willing to give great advice if we are willing to listen.

While visiting home recently, I had the time to sit down with my grandmother, Kitty, and hear her stories about dating and seek her advice. She was in Pi Phi at the University of Ohio and has tons of interesting stories. She said that because of the time period, there were tons of young men coming home from World War II and she had four or five dates a week.

Eventually, Kitty met my grandfather at a sorority mixer, and after he spent a year trying to get her to accept a date with him, she said yes. They were married for 59 years until my grandfather passed away. I can only hope to find a love like theirs. Maybe with her advice, we all can.

1. “Look for someone who is compassionate.”

The first things people seem to look for in a date (whether they know it or not) is how good-looking they are or what kind of job they have. While you can’t completely ignore these factors, it is also important to look for qualities such as whether or not they are polite to the waiter at a restaurant. Look for little signs that show they are a compassionate person.

2. “If you get involved in something you like, then you might meet someone who likes the same things as you.”

It’s hard to meet people. My grandmother met her husband when she was in college at Ohio State during a sorority and fraternity mixer. When I asked her about how to meet someone, she said to worry about yourself first. Don’t go looking for someone, but rather join clubs or groups that you are interested in and make connections through that.

She does not recommend trying to meet people at bars.“I think it’s sort of crazy you think you have to go to a bar to meet somebody. Sometimes you meet the wrong people there anyway.”

3. “Usually the boy should initiate the first date, but I think sometimes the girl can subtly initiate it by flirting.”

Well, there you have it boys, don’t be nervous — just ask her. And girls, help a guy out by dropping a couple of hints; you don’t just have to sit back and wait for him, but let him know you are interested.

My grandmother said she used to ‘flirt’ or ‘drop hints’ by making sure she was where he was and had the opportunity to talk to him. She also said to smile a lot.

4. “I think being ‘official’ or not, and labels and all that crap are too much of a worry. It should be just sort of something that happens between you and the guy or girl you like.”

Communication is key, and figuring out where you stand with the person you are dating is important. Talking about whether or not you can call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend shouldn’t be a point of stress.

Grandma says, “It just happens. You know you don’t want to go out with someone else—you are happy with the person you are with. But you don’t have to figure it out right away.”

5. “I remember a fun date I went on when we just went to dinner and then we played ‘Fox and Geese’ in the snow (Google it), and decided to come back to the house and put music on and we were trying different dances. And acting just silly. It was spontaneous.”

A first date doesn’t have to be at a fancy restaurant or expensive place, it just has to be fun. Maybe try and find out what the person you are taking out is interested in and do something along those lines.

Do they like music? Find a bar that has a live band to grab a drink. Google has plenty of date ideas. Just remember, too, that not everything has to be planned out but some of the best dates are spontaneous.

8. “If a guy asked me on a date over text, I would text back, ‘Let’s meet for a coke or something and we’ll talk about it.'”

I laughed out loud when my grandmother said this because I can totally see her doing it, but her words have some truth in them. She told me she would meet that person for a coke and then make them ask her on a date in person.

While maybe this isn’t always realistic in lives that are dominated by technology, we need to remember how much better it is to speak face to face than over text message. Grandma says, “Technology has changed things because you don’t hear someone’s voice anymore. Hearing someone’s voice and the feeling or tone of it on the phone is better than a text because then you can kind of feel what’s going on.”

9. “Why can’t your friends introduce you personally?”

When I asked her about dating apps, she just didn’t understand why people have to meet virtually instead of introducing one another. It’s okay to play matchmaker if you’ve got a bunch of single friends.

She says, “I know dating apps happen and they work. I just don’t like that stuff. But if you are sitting around and you haven’t met anybody and that might be something you could do.”

10. “Even though I married at 21, I think it’s alright to wait, especially in today’s dating world. You don’t get together half the time to date so no wonder it takes a while.”

Marriage is huge, so there is no need to rush into it until you’ve found the right one. When you do find the right one, don’t lose them!

11. “I think that you don’t have to see someone and say ‘Oh gosh, he or she is not very good looking, I don’t think I’m going to have fun with that person.’ Don’t rule people out so soon.”

With Facebook, dating apps and so much information readily available before you even go on a first date or meet the person, it is easy to rule people out.

Don’t be judgmental and be open to different people. You’ll never know what a person is really like until you give them a chance.

12. “Relationships are compromise and that’s kind of tough sometimes. Especially for me because I’m bossy.”

Perfection doesn’t exist. I hate to be a pessimist, but everyone you date will have something that eventually will bother you. They say you don’t know if you have a good relationship or not until you survive your first fight.

You just have to learn to work together to build a relationship; the long lasting ones don’t just build themselves.

13. “If you are in love with someone I think you just know that is the person you want to be with, you want to share things with and you know you are happy with them.”

I asked my grandmother, “What does love feel like?” and thought I would get a romantic answer of something along the lines of “flying” or “Your heart beats a million miles per hour.” But according to my grandma, the real kind of love is simple.

You know in your heart that you want to be with that person. It just feels right. Love makes you happy. She says, “There are different kinds of love—when you first get married there is a big romantic passionate kind of love, and then there’s a different kind of love, almost a deeper love. Love is something you have to work on.”

14. “Do what you feel in their heart is right and keep their head on straight. Be true to yourself, and don’t try and be someone else or fit the mold of who you think that person might like.”

Sometimes we are so desperate to find someone that we try and change who we are. This never works.

Besides, you don’t want someone to date you or fall in love with you who doesn’t know the real you.

And keep your head on straight; I guess that means don’t go out of your mind searching for love, it will find a way.

Charlee Dyroff wrote this article for xoJane.

TIME Ideas hosts the world's leading voices, providing commentary and expertise on the most compelling events in news, society, and culture. We welcome outside contributions. To submit a piece, email ideas@time.com.

TIME World

Indonesian Woman Who Offered to Wed Whoever Bought Her Home Finds Groom Is Already Married

For sale: House (and wife) in Indonesia
Anadolu Agency—Getty Images Wina Lia, 40, poses at her home in Sleman, in Indonesia's Yogyakarta province, on March 12, 2015

A publicity stunt that could eventually turn into a soap opera

Perhaps it was always too good to be true. Indonesian homeowner Wina Lia, who offered to marry whoever agreed to purchase her house, has now discovered that the man of her dreams is in fact already married.

Redi Eko agreed to wed Wina as well as buy her home, and had admitted that he was once married, but another woman has since stepped forward, claiming she is still his legitimate wife, Indonesian media reports.

Wina, a 40-year-old single mother, is ostensibly surprised. “He never told me,” she said, as quoted by Kompas daily. “Yes, I am shocked when I read from mass media that he already has a wife. I am disappointed.”

Redi’s alleged wife, Endang Titin Wapriyustia, who, like Wina, who earns a living by running a beauty salon, also said that she was “surprised” when she heard her husband wanted to marry another woman.

Endang said she and Redi were married on March 8, 2014. They had known each other since they were teenagers and they reconnected after Redi’s first marriage ended and Titin’s husband passed away, leaving her with three children. The couple don’t see each other often because he lives in Lampung, in Sumatra, while she resides in the central Javanese town of Solo — not far from Yogyakarta, where Wina lives.

Endang said she wouldn’t stop her husband from marrying Wina, as long as they get divorced first.

But she hopes Wina would reconsider her plan to marry Redi. “He gave me many promises before, from buying me a luxurious house, a car for my child and taking me for an umrah [minor pilgrimage to Mecca], but until now, nothing,” Endang said. “Since we married [in March 2014], he didn’t give me money apart from 300,00 rupiah [$23] for Eid al-Fitr and 10 million rupiah [$760] for the wedding.”

Whether any of this has influenced Wina is unclear, though she has put her marriage plans on hold, saying: “I am postponing it, until this matter is taken care of.”

MONEY Budgeting

Here’s Why More Americans Are Saying ‘I Do’ at City Hall

Couples head toward the Historic Dade City Courthouse to say their marrige vows.
Zuma Press—Alamy Couples head toward the Historic Dade City Courthouse to say their marrige vows.

It may be the best wedding gift of all.

When Scott Oeth was thinking about proposing to his girlfriend, Linda Hardin, he knew the stats. The average wedding costs in 2014, according to popular website The Knot, were a whopping $31,213.

That’s when the Minneapolis financial planner thought, No way.

Lucky for him, his bride-to-be was thinking exactly the same thing. So last year the couple arranged for a courthouse wedding, a celebratory dinner at their favorite steak house, covered as a gift by his new in-laws, and a backyard BBQ reception later in the summer for 100 guests.

Total cost: A paltry $1,250.

Oeth, 43, says he wouldn’t change a thing. “It was all wonderful, and we had such a great time,” he says. “I don’t think that most people who spend tens of thousands on traditional weddings could say the same.”

More newlyweds seem to be thinking like Scott Oeth and Linda Hardin. Courthouse and city hall ceremonies now account for between 3 and 4 percent of marriages, up from 2-3 percent a couple of years ago, according to industry resource The Wedding Report.

Financially speaking, toned-down weddings make a ton of sense. After all, think of all the other places newlyweds could spend that money to get their marriage started on the right financial foot, Oeth says.

Fully funding IRAs for both spouses. Paying off high-interest credit cards. Getting rid of student debt. Starting a 529 college-savings plan for young children. Saving up for a down payment on a first home.

“Expensive weddings are like a subprime mortgage crisis of the heart,” says Laurie Essig, associate professor at Vermont’s Middlebury College and “Love, Inc.” columnist for the magazine Psychology Today.

Noting that most young people have student loans, Essig says, “It just doesn’t make financial sense to be taking out even more debt to have a lavish wedding.”

Those typical expenses, according to The Knot, include $14,006 for venue rental, $2,556 for the photographer, $3,587 for the band, and $555 for the cake.

In many urban centers, costs can be much higher than those national averages. In Manhattan, for instance, the typical wedding bill comes to a wallet-punishing $76,328.

Of course, it is no mystery why people are so willing to pay through the nose for their Big Day. Marriage is seen as a once-in-a-lifetime moment that couples want to memorialize with one spectacular day.

Forgoing Extravagance

When you think of financial alternatives to a fancy wedding, it is hard not to see the logic of forgoing the extravagance.

“Of course, it doesn’t make sense to spend all that money,” says Essig. “But marriage is a magic ritual, and magic will always outweigh more pragmatic stuff, like going down to city hall and filling out forms.”

Many spouses-to-be are afraid to bring up the idea of shaving wedding costs, for fear of appearing like a cheapskate, hurting their partner’s feelings, or angering in-laws at a highly emotional moment.

Get over that reticence and have a money conversation, experts say.

The so-called wedding-industrial complex may not like it, but there is no law against buying a used dress from a thrift store, or getting a vintage ring, or having the ceremony in a park instead of a grand ballroom, Essig suggests.

Even if your wedding is a quick and simple affair, always check local regulations beforehand, advises Christen Moynihan, editorial manager of the website Broke-Ass Bride. There might be waiting periods after acquiring a marriage license, or specific ID requirements for getting all the necessary approvals, and you do not want to be caught off-guard.

A ceremony in front of a justice of the peace might only run a couple of hundred bucks. “There was a time when low-cost weddings and courthouse ‘I Dos’ were scandalized, but in recent years there has been much higher acceptance for weddings to take place in whatever way the couple envisions,” Moynihan says.

Scott Oeth and Linda Hardin redirected some of their wedding savings toward a fabulous honeymoon on Kauai. Since they are cost-conscious, they bought a travel package through Costco and got free first-class flight upgrades because of Scott’s Delta Medallion status.

Total cost for the fairytale honeymoon? Around $3,000.

MONEY Love + Money

Why Couples Need to Get Financially Naked

The Voorhes

A new MONEY poll of millennial and boomer couples suggests that baring it all when it comes to money leads to a happier—and richer—relationship.

Katy Klein and her fiancé, Charles Hagman, both 30, began opening up about salaries, savings, and student loans just nine months into dating. The topics came up naturally as the Seattle couple figured out their plans for attending a pal’s wedding.

“Some of our friends were going early and renting a home by the beach,” says Klein, who works in PR. “So we had a conversation about whether that was in our budget … which spurred other conversations.”

Hagman, a software engineer, had intended to dig into those issues anyway. “I wanted someone who had similar savings goals,” he says. But for Klein, it was new terrain: “I’d never laid it all out.” Now that she’s done so, however, she says that financial transparency has set a solid foundation for their marriage.

Experts would agree. “Couples have less conflict about money when they share information,” says Terri Orbuch, a Detroit family therapist and the author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great. Knowing where you stand and what you want to accomplish builds trust and a sense of teamwork. Plus, getting on the same page gives you a better shot at hitting your goals and less risk you’ll unwittingly work against each other, she says. Thus, it’s crucial for married couples—and those headed to the altar—to open their books.

A new MONEY poll of boomer and millennial couples suggests that both generations are on board with baring all. When it comes to what partners should discuss before marriage, boomers and millennials both say the docket should include debt (78% of both groups), savings goals (69% and 74%, respectively), and amount saved (63% and 56%).

And yet other research suggests that few married couples truly practice transparency in their daily lives. A few years back, an American Express poll found that 91% of people avoid money talks with their partners; another from last year revealed that only 52% have financial conversations at least weekly. Worse, one in three adults in relationships say they lie to their partner about money, the National Endowment for Financial Education found.

As part of a monthlong series on Love and Money, we’ll be digging into our survey data and suggesting ways that couples can strengthen their unions and their finances. First step: Get financially naked. Here’s how to do it.

Choose a happy moment. Start the transparency conversation around the time of a positive event, like a promotion or a wedding, or at least when there’s an absence of major problems. “Finances are much easier to talk about when you are flush and happy,” says Mary Claire Allvine, a financial planner in Atlanta and the author of The Family CFO. “And opening up in good times makes it easier to talk about money when life changes for the worse.”

If you’re starting in a void, point to an article you’ve read, like this one. Say something like, “It made me realize I don’t know where we stand. Maybe we could take a look some night this week?”

Go full frontal. Crack open a bottle of wine and start opening your books. Begin by making a net-worth statement. This summary of assets and liabilities gives you a framework toward your common goals. It can also help you uncover flaws in your strategy, like debt growing as fast as savings. Use an online net-worth calculator like the one at Bankrate.com or an Excel spreadsheet. Plan to update your numbers quarterly.

If you have the energy, make a list of monthly expenses—review the last few months of bank and credit card statements—so you know where money is going. Or upload your accounts to an online money-management tool like Quicken or Mint, says Miami financial planner Ashley O’Kurley.

Find out your mate’s musts. Setting goals together begins with understanding your partner, says Patrick Wallace, a financial planner with Higher Strata Wealth Management in Hurst, Texas. He suggests you both answer these questions: What are the three most important money lessons you learned growing up? What are your three biggest money worries? What are your three biggest goals? What are the three most important ways you want to use money to leave a legacy? The answers will help your spouse understand what is important to you. “Your goals may still be in conflict,” says Wallace, “but it will be easier to compromise.”

 

MONEY Love and Money

This Is the Magic Number That Can Help Couples Avoid Money Fights

hand holding shopping bags
Dra Schwartz—Getty Images

It's $154. Here's why.

Let me hazard a guess that the last money fight you had with your spouse was about somebody’s spending habits.

Am I right?

A recent Money poll suggests that I am. Our survey of some 1,000 baby boomers and millennials found that, while the two generations can be quite different in their approaches to money within relationships, they fight most often about the same thing.

One third of the older generation and 45% of the younger one said the top cause of conflict with their partner is “overspending on frivolous purchases.”

But the survey results also suggest a possible solution.

Respondents were asked what amount they thought they could spend without informing their spouse. And the average for the two generations was exactly the same, down to the dollar: $154. That’s in spite of household income differences of $28,000 between age groups.

Of course, there were some differences between genders, with the median answer for millennial females $131 vs. males in their peer group saying $180, and $162 vs. $143 for boomer females vs. males.

But the number itself isn’t so important as the fact that you’ve agreed on it together.

Financial experts have long championed spending limits, along with his-hers-and-ours accounts, as the keys to resolving the age-old challenge presented when financial opposites attract… and then repel.

Here’s why: By setting a limit above which you need to clear purchases—or by setting up discretionary accounts funded with an agreed-upon sum—the more free-spirited one of you gets to have a bit of longed-for independence. Meanwhile, the more frugal partner can rest assured knowing that the other isn’t going to spend down the retirement accounts.

So talk to your spouse and choose a number that works for both of you. Maybe start the bidding at $150, since that’s a nice round number close to the median.

Below that target, you can both spend as you wish. Above it, a referendum is in order.

Everybody’s happy. Everybody wins. Now you can go back to fighting over more important things, like whose turn it is to take out the trash.

Get more insights from Money’s 2015 Love & Money survey

 

TIME World

Woman Who Offered Herself Along With Her House Finds a Buyer (and Husband)

For sale: House (and wife) in Indonesia
Anadolu Agency—Getty Images Wina Lia, 40, poses at her home in Sleman, Indonesia, on March 12, 2015

The asking price was $76,500

An Indonesian woman who offered her hand to a suitable buyer of her house has found a man willing to both buy the property and marry her, local media reports.

“His name is Redi Eko,” Wina Lia, 40, told Kompas daily this week. “He is also looking for a wife.”

Like her, Redi is also a single parent. When he heard about Wina’s financial difficulties, the 46-year-old state-owned company employee offered his assistance. “He will sell his house in Lampung [in Sumatra] and will use the money to help me,” she said.

Wina put her two-bedroom, two-bathroom house, which comes with a fish pond and spacious backyard, in Sleman, in Yogyakarta province, up for sale two months ago. The asking price was around $76,500. Her online ad went viral, thanks to the tagline: ‘Buy the house and marry the owner at the same time.’

Redi said that he had already planned to move to Yogyakarta to be closer with his children, who go to university there. “Whether with Wina or somebody else, I will still live in Yogya,” Redi told Kompas.

The pair have yet to meet in person, but they have been talking on the phone and exchanging text messages daily, and will meet face to face soon. “The plan is, we will go on umrah [minor pilgrimage to Mecca],” Wina said. “If everything goes smoothly, we will get married next month.”

TIME The Marriage Book

The 25 Most Influential Marriages of All Time

The pairs who said "I do" and changed the world

We are gathered here today to anoint these 26 men and 24 women as the most influential married couples of all time. But before I ask if there are any objections, I’d like to start with a clarification: Influence and fame are not the same thing. Fame (think about Scarlett and Rhett) doesn’t always mean influence. And influence (see Michael McConnell and Jack Baker, below) doesn’t always come with fame.

The couples on this list are here because, one way or another, they left or are leaving a lasting mark (some, like Homer and Marge Simpson, quite colorful ones). My husband and I have gotten to know these couples very well in the six years we’ve spent researching marriage for a juicy new anthology, The Marriage Book. They are just 25 of the thousands we met—in books, films, photographs, fables—and they’re here because, more than any others, they live in history—or fiction—together. You might ask: What about Bonnie and Clyde? (Never married.) Tracy and Hepburn? (Same.) Vladimir Lenin and…? Christopher Columbus and…? Their spouses may have helped them, but they weren’t essential to their legacies. And plenty of spouses have been a hindrance more than a help: Maybe Einstein might actually have achieved a Unified Theory if he hadn’t seen his wife, Mileva, as “an employee whom I cannot fire.” To be sure, some of the couples on this list did call it quits. But saying “I don’t” doesn’t diminish the influence they had by saying “I do.”

  • Adam and Eve

    Classic Collection. Page 118. 10418653. A Biblical illustration showing Eve tempting Adam with the apple in the Garden of Eden.
    Popperfoto/Getty Images

    You take a man and his rib, add a garden, a snake, and an apple, and the next thing you know, you have the human race. When there’s no one to influence until you procreate, that’s influence.

  • Abigail and John Adams

    Getty Images (2)

    Her plea to him during the Continental Congress to “remember the ladies” proved futile. But she herself was unforgettable as wife, confidante, First Lady, and indispensible advisor.

  • Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

    Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz on the set of I Love Lucy
    Mondadori/Getty Images

    As a real-life couple, they created a fictional world in which Lucy was forever trying—and hilariously failing—to escape the confines of the wifely role that the 1950s and Ricky demanded of her. The Arnazes’ marriage ultimately sank, but the Ricardos live on all over the world.

  • Beyoncé and Jay Z

    512118231FB00016_On_The_Run
    Myrna Suarez— WireImage/Getty Images

    Individual monarchs of the music industry, they began their combined reign when they married in 2008. They now have a daughter named Blue Ivy, an estimated net worth over $1 billion and the ability to make or break world trends overnight.

  • Archie and Edith Bunker

    All In The Family
    CBS/Getty Images

    His bigotry and her battiness aside, it was the love between Archie and Edith on All in the Family that allowed Americans to look at both the worst and the best in themselves.

  • Bill and Hillary Clinton

    Hillary Clinton attends a Steak Fry in Iowa
    Brooks Kraft—Corbis

    Successes and scandals, defiance and resilience, and an inimitable brand of loyalty have marked the Clintons’ unparalleled political careers. From the Arkansas State Capitol to the White House to the Senate to Foggy Bottom, their wins and losses have shaped the American narrative for a quarter of a century. With Hillary’s new run for the presidency, the next chapter has just begun.

  • Marie and Pierre Curie

    Pierre Curie (1859-1906) and Marie Sklodowska Curie (1867-1934) Artist: Anonymous
    Fine Art Images/Heritage Images/Getty Images

    Talk about marital chemistry. And physics. Working side by side in Paris, the Curies were pioneers in the study of radioactivity, without which we would have no x-rays, no ability to kill microorganisms in food, no sterile medical instruments, and, oh, by the way, no nuclear reactors.

  • Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald

    F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda
    Hulton Archive/Getty Images

    No account of the Jazz Age, or perhaps of the 20th century, can be made without the couple who danced, drank, loved and fought their way through it. Their reckless intensity reflected and encouraged the new freedoms of a modern age. Scott once wrote: “We felt like small children in a great bright unexplored barn.” Eventually, they burned the barn down.

  • Bill and Melinda Gates

    SWITZERLAND-DAVOS-ECONOMY-POLITICS-MEET-WEF
    Fabrice Coffrini—AFP/Getty Images

    In his garage, Harvard dropout Bill pondered why computer hardware was sold but computer software was just passed around. From that question grew Microsoft, where Melinda eventually went to work. Married in 1994, they created the largest private foundation in the world, and, with the “Giving Pledge,” successfully urged other billionaires to follow their philanthropic lead.

  • Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine

    Getty Images (2)

    The two married in 1152 and were forceful and combative with their court, their neighbors, their six living children and—famously—with each other. At the height of their reign, they were the ultimate power couple, controlling most of the land in Great Britain and France.

  • Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn

    First meeting of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn, 1835. Artist: Maclise, Daniel (1806-1870)
    Fine Art Images/Heritage Images/Getty Images

    True, Henry had Anne beheaded after just three years. But he married her because his first wife had failed to produce a male heir. His insistence on a divorce so he could marry Anne led directly to Henry’s excommunication by the Catholic Church and thus to the birth of the Reformation.

  • Pat and Bill Loud

    BILL LOUD;PAT LOUD
    ABC/Getty Images

    Decades before Kris and Bruce Jenner spawned the Kardashian universe—along with its controversies, revelations, accusations and affections—American TV audiences were spellbound by another married couple. During its twelve weekly episodes in the early 70s, “An American Family” gripped TV viewers as the Louds, married for 21 years with five children, allowed cameras into their home. The series—highlighted by the riveting moments in which son Lance came out as gay and Pat told Bill that she wanted a divorce—was trumpeted as portraying real life, making the Louds the parents of reality TV.

  • John and Jackie Kennedy

    Massachusetts, USA. 1950's. President of the United States of America John F. Kennedy pictured as a young man with his wife Jackie Kennedy (Jacqueline Bouvier) early in their marriage.
    Popperfoto/Getty Images

    He once introduced himself as the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris, and her style and elegance set the tone for an erudite yet modern White House that was fated to be remembered, both in its charm and its tragedy, as Camelot.

  • John Lennon and Yoko Ono

    Yoko Ono & John Lennon
    Susan Wood—Getty Images

    Sure, she was reviled for breaking up the Beatles. But their marriage gave us indelible images of intimacy—from the friendly zoo of their honeymoon bed-in to the Annie Leibovitz–photographed Rolling Stone cover of Yoko with a naked, embryonic John curled around her. Along the way, her passion for peace inspired his signature anthem; Imagine no “Imagine.”

  • Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette

    Getty Images (2)

    Married in their mid-teens and residing in splendor at Versailles, they were destined to embody (until forcefully disembodied) the final throes of the French monarchy, with its spectacular excesses, huge public debts, and let-them-eat-cake contempt for the poor.

  • Mao Tse-Tung and Jiang Qing

    Getty Images (2)

    As Mao’s fourth and last wife, Madame Mao was a partner in some of the most brutal aspects of the Cultural Revolution, supporting the Red Guard as it attempted to purge China of all perceived threats to the Communist order. Eventually, as one of the treacherous “Gang of Four,” she effectively ran the propaganda machine that created and sustained the Cult of Mao.

  • Bill Masters and Virginia Johnson

    Sex therapists Dr Virginia Johnson and Dr William Masters
    Art Shay—The LIFE Images Collection/Getty Images

    Inevitably glamorized by the Showtime series about them, Masters, a gynecologist, and Johnson, initially his research assistant, did share first a mission and then a life. Their groundbreaking numbers-heavy studies of sex made them the punch line of a million jokes, but ultimately contributed to the demystification of one of life’s most miraculous and complex subjects.

  • Michael McConnell and Jack Baker

    Jack proposed to Michael in 1969, and Michael accepted with the proviso that they make the union legal. Their attempt to do just that eventually led them to the Supreme Court, which in 1972 dismissed the case. But the substance of their initial argument—that limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples was irrational and discriminatory—paved the way for legal victories in state after state—including, two years ago, in their home state of Minnesota.

  • Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio

    Picture dated of the fifties showing American actr
    AFP/Getty Images

    Married for 274 days, the baseball giant and the screen legend turned out to be ill-suited and ill-fated. He was possessive, jealous, volatile. She was Marilyn. Their legacy was unintentional, but the multi-media circus that followed them was unprecedented, just warming the world up for the likes of Liz and Dick, Grace and Rainier, even Diana and Charles. They were the first celebrity couple of the modern age.

  • Georgia O’Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz

    Alfred Stieglitz and Georgia O'Keeffe
    Corbis

    He fell in love first with her drawings, then with her. They became photographer and subject, then lovers, then spouses. Long separations and infidelity were obstacles, yet they remained married until Stieglitz’s death in 1946, and united forever by their contributions to and championing of modern art.

  • Eva and Juan Peron

    Picture taken in the 1940s in Buenos Aires shows E
    Intercontinental/AFP/Getty Images

    The left-wing Argentinian president and charismatic first lady (“Evita” to anyone who’s seen the musical and been tempted to cry for her) fought poverty, sought to improve public health, and backed labor reforms, mixing public-mindedness with a sometimes ruthless authoritarianism.

  • Romeo and Juliet

    'Romeo And Juliet' Balcony Scene
    Kean Collection/Getty Images

    They married in passionate defiance of their feuding families. Though there had been other versions of the story—and would be more, in poems, ballets, and even the musical West Side Story—it was the indelibility of Shakespeare’s 16th-century tragedy that made Romeo and Juliet the universal symbols of star-crossed fate and perfect love.

  • Eleanor and Franklin Roosevelt

    Franklin D. Roosevelt and Eleanor Roosevelt
    Corbis

    While he battled the Great Depression and the Axis Powers, she used their private moments to lobby him on the progressive issues about which she was most passionate. Along the way, she transformed the role of First Lady into a bully pulpit from which she could fight for civil rights and greater workplace opportunities for women.

  • Julius and Ethel Rosenberg

    Ethel and Julius Rosenberg Artist: Anonymous
    Fine Art Images/Heritage Images/Getty Images

    Were they innocent victims of the Red Scare, misguided progressives or traitorous spies who passed atomic secrets to the Russians? The epic debate over these questions encapsulated an era in which the enemy was particularly fearsome because it was so insidious. The married parents of two young sons were electrocuted within hours of each other, adding an extra chill to the Cold War.

  • Marge and Homer Simpson

    THE SIMPSONS: Homer and Marge Simpson on THE SIMPSONS on FOX.  THE SIMPSONS ™ and © 2002 TCFFC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
    Fox

    Marge is both hotter and cooler than the ever-ditzy Homer, but his unwavering, unconditional, unquenchable love wins her heart and ours even as they, and we, understand that he doesn’t remotely deserve her. Their co-dependency—he adores her, she adores being adored—mirrors millions of modern marriages, and their longevity has somehow made even our own dysfunctions enviable.

    Read next: George Clooney Says Marriage to Amal ‘Changed Everything’

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