TIME Family

7 Thanksgiving Horror Movies

thankskilling
Amazon

The family that watches bloody, terrifying, turkey-centric flicks together, is the family that stays together

This article originally appeared on Food & Wine.

Thanksgiving is a time for family. It’s a time for food. And it’s a time for terror. Or, at least, it will be from this year on because we found the top seven best horror films to watch during Thanksgiving. After all, the family that watches bloody, terrifying, turkey-centric flicks together, is the family that stays together.

Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County

This found-footage style movie tells the harrowing tale of a family who are attacked and (spoiler alert) abducted by aliens during Thanksgiving dinner.

Blood Rage

After being framed for murder by his evil twin brother, Terry, Todd is committed to an asylum. Then, one Thanksgiving, Todd escapes to exact revenge on his brother. But Terry has other ideas—ideas full of blood and rage. Expect decapitations, fork violence and multiple adult situations.

Thankskilling

The DVD cover boasts, “Boobs in the first second,” so you know it’s going to be good. But it’s actually even better because the boobs aren’t just any boobs, they’re pilgrim boobs. In the first scene a topless pilgrim is killed by a talking, tomahawk-toting monster turkey. Things just get crazier and more disturbing from there.

Thankskilling 3

The sequel to Thankskilling, this meta movie follows Turkie, the villainous turkey from the first film, as he searches for the last copy of Thankskilling 2. Also, there are puppets.

Blood Freak

Reefer Madness meets Dracula meets Butterball. This is the story of a man seduced by pot and experimented on by science who is transformed into a turkey-headed creature with a thirst for blood—a blood freak, if you will.

Thanksgiving

Eli Roth’s fake trailer contribution to Grindhouse, the 2007 double feature from Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, may be short but it packs a lot of gore. It’s about a man whose childhood sweetheart, a turkey, was killed by his father. Now he stalks and decapitates horny teens, dressed as a pilgrim. Roth has confirmed that a full-length version of the movie is in the works.

Home Sweet Home

An escaped psychopath crashes a friendsgiving on a California ranch. Skulls are crushed, women are stabbed with broken wine bottles and, since this film was made in 1981, a KISS fan is killed with an electric guitar.

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TIME Web

Internet Users Surge to Almost 3 Billion Worldwide

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40% of the world is now online

The number of Internet users in the world is approaching 3 billion, according to a United Nations agency.

The International Telecommunications Union revealed in its annual report that the number of Internet users grew 6.6% in 2014, from 2.7 billion to almost 3 billion. Five years ago, just 2 billion people were online. Today, 40% of the world is plugged in.

The quickest growth has occurred in developing countries, where the number of Internet users has doubled in the last five years. But there are still more than 4 billion people on Earth without Internet access. Africa is the region with the lowest penetration rate, with only 19% of people on the continent currently using the Internet.

ITU has committed to bringing 1.5 billion more people online by the end of the decade through an initiative called Code 2020, which is focused on expanding access to mobile broadband around the world. A bevy of big tech companies, including Google and Facebook, have also launched projects to deliver Internet access to remote areas.

TIME Family

Old Spice’s Clingy Mom Will Make You Cringe

One small ad, one giant eye roll.

Old Spice sure has a low opinion of poor old mom.

In their new ad, mom has nothing to live for her, but her little baby boy. So when Junior starts hosing himself down in Old Spice-scented masculinity and becomes a man—which, of course, means dating attractive young women—in that straight-out-of-Sophocles way, mom just can’t handle it. She starts weeping and wailing her so-called “Momsong” like a Greek chorus in mom jeans and growing extra-long arms to cling to her precious baby boy.

“Where’s my little boy, I miss him so/Who’s this man living in our home?/My special guy has turned into a man,” she sings, before collapsing on the carpet in a heap of tear-swollen misery. That’s when good old dad comes rolling in on his riding lawnmower, as stereotypical suburban dads are wont to do, singing his ode to the joy that his son isn’t living in a van down by the river and is instead getting some action under the hash-marked tagline “#SmellcomeToManhood.” Hey ad: Gross.

The ad is actually a follow-up to another spot for Old Spice’s line of lady-luring body spray for young men. The first ad, titled “MomSong”, is more of the same, because apparently clingy mothers, wailing over the fact that their sons are developing at an age-appropriate rate, is never not funny. In “MomSong” the beleaguered mothers become creepy stalkers following their sons on dates while sniffing (literally) their former babies who now “smell like a man.” (Note to future self: Please refrain from sniffing grown son.)

It’s unfortunate that Old Spice and Weiden + Kennedy, the agency hired to make the ad, which features music and lyrics by Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords fame, felt the need to peddle in stereotypes that would have been outdated even in the Mad Men era. (It’s also unfortunate that they think people want to “smell manhood.”)

While it’s clear that it’s all meant as one big joke, the whole ad is just a giant eye roll. While it’s clear that moms are not the target demographic for scented body spray with manly names like Bearglove and Lionpride, moms still have to live in a world where mothers are treated like nothing more than overbearing, emotionally unstable, clingy women, instead of, say, human beings wondering why their teenaged son spent his allowance on a male perfume called “Lionpride.” You can do better Old Spice.

Hopefully their own mothers will have a little talk with them over the Thanksgiving dinner table.

[H/T AdWeek.]

TIME

J.K. Rowling Reveals Her Dream Job If She Weren’t A Writer

Dream job alert

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling won Twitter today by revealing the career she would have adopted were she not a hugely successful writer:

Potter fans will likely recognize the significance of her choice. The Patronus, the result of a defensive spell that channels a wizard’s positive feelings, of main character Hermione (who Rowling has said is based on her younger self) is an otter.

But just in case case Rowling is looking for a second job, we would like to point out that some China Zoos are hiring for panda nannies. Just think of the bedtime stories she’d tell them.

TIME Art

Google Doodle Celebrates Corita Kent, Feminist Nun Turned Artist

Google

It would have been her 96th birthday

Google celebrated what would have been the 96th birthday of artist Corita Kent on Thursday — also known as Sister Corita Kent.

In 1936, Kent started her career as a Catholic nun. She began taking art classes, and received a masters in art history — chairing the art history department at Immaculate Heart College. In 1968, she left the order and decided to pursue a full-time career as an artist.

Kent was known for her silk screens, and she often juxtaposed spiritual writing alongside symbols of consumerist culture. She was a well-known activist, fighting for civil rights, anti-war causes, and women’s rights.

She died in 1986.

TIME Companies

Netflix Is Now a Whopping One-Third of Peak Internet Traffic

US Online Streaming Giant Netflix : Illustration
In this photo illustration the Netflix logo is seen on September 19, 2014 in Paris, France. Pascal Le Segretain—Getty Images

But YouTube leads on mobile

Netflix now accounts for more than a third of all downstream Internet traffic during peak evening hours in North America, according to research firm Sandvine.

Netflix’s share of traffic during the second half of 2014 rose to 34.89%, up from 34.21% in the first half of the year, Sandvine found in its biannual report. The figure is the highest for Netflix in Sandvine’s publicly available data since 2011. The streaming service has long dominated downstream Internet usage — a point that’s sparked battles between it and Internet Service Providers like Comcast and Verizon, which have argued Netflix should pay up for the bandwidth it uses.

While Netflix’s share inched up slightly, other tech companies also made gains. Facebook, which has been pushing video heavily this year, saw its traffic share increase from 1.99% to 2.98%. Amazon Video, Netflix’s most direct competitor, rose from a share of 1.9% to 2.58%. YouTube’s share also increased, rising from 13.19% to 14.09%. These gains in traffic came at the expense of iTunes and bitTorrent, which both had their shares dip below 3%.

These figures don’t account for Internet connections made via cellular data networks on mobile devices. On that front, YouTube is the leader with a 19.75% share, and Facebook is right behind it with a 19.05% share.

TIME Television

Billy Eichner and Julie Klausner to Star in Amy Poehler’s New Hulu Comedy

In a new series called Difficult People

—You can shout the news to New York City, pedestrians! Billy Eichner will star in Amy Poehler’s new comedy series for Hulu!

The company announced Tuesday a series called Difficult People, which will star Eichner and comedic writer and performer Julie Klausner, with whom he collaborates on Billy on the Street — a show that largely involves shouting pop culture trivia to people on the street.

In case you’re not familiar with the very funny Klausner yet, here’s her appearance as “the cat whisperer” in this Funny or Die short.

“This hilarious series follows Billy Eichner and Julie Klausner as best friends and struggling comedians in New York City who can’t figure out why they aren’t likable,” Hulu Head of Originals Beatrice Springborn wrote on the company blog. “Klausner wrote the pilot and will also serve as an executive producer for the series alongside Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation) and Dave Becky (Louie).”

Hulu is working in collaboration with Universal Cable Productions. Shooting will begin early in 2015.

Now to celebrate, let us watch Poehler and Eichner sing carols to innocent bystanders:

TIME Dating

OkCupid Rolling Out New Gender and Sexual Orientation Options

OkCupid manipulierte Nutzer
Maja Hitij—dpa/AP

The new feature isn't yet available to all users

Dating site OkCupid is granting select users additional options for listing gender identity and sexual orientation in their profiles.

“You’re part of a select group with access to this feature,” reads a message some users have reported seeing, according to pop culture site NewNowNext. “Keep in mind as we continue to work on this feature: For now, editing your gender and orientation is only supported on the desktop site.”

Users were previously only able to identify their genders as male or female and their sexual orientations as gay, straight or bisexual. Included in the new sexual orientation options are asexual, queer, questioning, pansexual, and sapiosexual (where intelligence is the most important factor in attraction). For gender, new options include cis men and women, transgender men and women, genderqueer, genderfluid, gender nonconforming, intersex and others.

It is unknown when these options will be available for all users.

[NewNowNext]

TIME Crime

Revenge Porn: Man Jailed In Britain As US Lawmakers Prepare New Legislation

15 states have outlawed revenge porn but it is legal in most of the US

As modern technology has allowed for the rise of selfies and sexting, it has also allowed for a new form of betrayal: revenge porn. The act of posting or sharing explicit images or videos of a person without his or her consent can wreak havoc on a person’s personal and professional life.

In the UK last week, campaigners scored a win as Luke King, a 21-year-old man from Nottingham, England, became the first man in Britain to be jailed for posting revenge porn.

A 12-week sentence was handed down on Nov. 14, after King pleaded guilty to harassment, after posting a naked image of his ex-girlfriend to the mobile messaging service WhatsApp. The woman, who hasn’t been named, had sent King the photo while they were still together. After the break-up, King threatened to upload the photo, which is when his ex first reported him to police. Although he was warned by police that posting the image online would be a crime, King followed through with his threat in August.

King’s case is the first in Britain since it was announced in October that a new legal amendment will deal with revenge porn directly. King was prosecuted under an existing law, the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, but those found guilty under the new amendment — which is currently going through Parliament — could face up to two years in prison.

The District Crown Prosecutor at the Crown Prosecution Service East Midlands, Peter Shergill, said at sentencing, “Prosecutors are now following guidance issued in October that clarifies how we can use existing legislation to prosecute perpetrators of these intrusive offences.”

But the direct attack on revenge porn that the UK has taken raises the question of whether the US will follow suit.

There is no current US federal law against revenge porn, because, as University of Pennsylvania law professor Paul H. Robinson notes, “under the US Constitution it is the states that have the police power and it’s not within the power of the federal government to create criminal law offenses unless there is some special federal interest.”

And, in fact, many states have been making moves to criminalize revenge porn. According to the End Revenge Porn campagin, 15 US states already have passed laws against revenge porn and those laws actually have been used to prosecute men who’ve posted naked photos of their former partners. Another seven states have also introduced legislature against revenge porn. The problem, however, lies in the many remaining states where revenge porn is legal.

Though some believe that existing laws against harassment or copyright infringement could be used to tackle the problem, many individual cases have proven that revenge porn often slips through the cracks. As Danielle Citron, a law professor at the University of Maryland and the author of Hate Crimes in Cyberspace, noted in Slate last year, “Harassment laws only apply if the defendant is persistent in his or her cruelty.” Posting a single explicit image to a highly-trafficked site could have disastrous consequences for the person pictured, but it wouldn’t count as “persistent.” What’s more, copyright only applies if the image was a selfie as the photographer (or videographer) owns the rights to the image.

So what will it take to ensure that revenge porn is illegal across all of the US?

According to Mary Anne Franks, a University of Miami law professor who is working with Californian Democratic Rep. Jackie Speier to draft a federal bill that would criminalize revenge porn if passed, pushing a nationwide ban has been difficult because “there’s a general prioritization of the First Amendment in the US” and “we [have been] slow to come to the realization that this isn’t an infringement of free speech.”

To pass US-wide laws, it’s essential, according to Franks, to reframe revenge porn from a free speech issue into a privacy issue. “We don’t view an image of someone’s naked body as [deserving of] the same privacy as someone’s medical records,” she says, but suggests views are shifting.

Franks notes that campaigns such as End Revenge Porn, which is part of the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative, and Women Against Revenge Porn have done much to spread awareness about the issue — 12 of the 15 states with laws against revenge porn passed them within the past two years. That awareness, along with the widely publicized hacking of celebrity nude photos, has done much to shift people’s perceptions about the harm that posting a nude image without someone’s consent can cause.

Unfortunately, until all of the US is covered by anti-revenge porn laws, there are millions of people for whom a total loss of privacy is only a vengeful upload away.

TIME apps

This App Is Supposed to Prevent You from Sending Drunk Tweets

bottles of alcohol
Getty Images

You have to input how many hours you plan to be drunk—between one and ten

This article originally appeared on Food & Wine.

A drunk text can wreak havoc on a single relationship, but a drunken social media post can ruin hundreds of connections (maybe even thousands if you’re particularly popular) with just a tap on your touchscreen. Now there’s an app to stop you from becoming an inebriated social media nightmare. Drunk Message Blocker will completely shut down your access to social media. No Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram, no Snapchat. It’s not the first app designed to protect the drunk smartphone user, but what sets it apart is that it’s the first one to stop you from using your social networks. It’s also incredibly strict. Even if you delete the app from your phone you still aren’t going to be able to put up that embarrassing picture on Facebook.

As with other apps designed to avoid drunken mistakes you’ll later regret, this one does require some advanced planning. You have to input how many hours you plan to be drunk—between one and ten (if you’re going to be drunk for ten hours you should probably just leave your phone at home because there is a 100 percent chance you’re going to lose it). But until your phone can detect your blood-alcohol level through your skin, there will always be a manual component. Still, an app that can keep you from messing up your life in 140 characters is something we could all use from time to time.

Drunk Message Blocker is free in the Google Play store.

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