TIME Bizarre

Hook-Up Truck Driving Around San Francisco This Weekend Provides Exact Service You Guessed It Would

Greg Earl

It's like Uber for your nether-regions!

Once upon a time, having sex in the back of a truck was seen as a thing that you only did out of extreme necessity. Like, your boyfriend’s futon had bed bugs or your parents were home. But a new service that has been getting a considerable amount of internet buzz is trying to change that mentality.

This weekend, a no-frills, on-demand, condom-filled Hook-Up truck will be driving around San Francisco providing the exact service you think it would: A place for fornication. It’s like Uber for your genitals!

But this isn’t UberLUX. The 21+ crowd who rents the mobile hour-motel service can expect an unmarked box-truck to show up, providing basic services: temperature control, free safe sex accoutrement, and a camera ready option to record the interlude. There are no stripper poles or water beds — no beds at all, actually, since bedding is absorbent and therefore less clean.

“There’s not much in the room,” creator and conceptual artist Spy Emerson told TIME. “There’s a bench and a handle, like a bar you hold on to. It’s designed to keep clean, so we just wipe everything down. I have bleach and this green stuff, I have disinfective wipes. I guarantee that this is cleaner than BART [San Francisco's transit system] or any public bathroom that anyone has used recently.”

The Hook-Up Truck is part performance art, part social experiment, and part test-run for an actual business. While services are free this weekend, Emerson plans to eventually charge people for their time in the truck and eventually franchise the sex-on-wheels-mobile in other cities. It has been reported that rates will range from $75 for 30 parked minutes of bliss to $2,500 for a 5-hour party rental.

Unsurprisingly, the Hook-Up Truck was created for the swipe-happy, dating app generation. “One of my friends was talking about his experiences on Grindr, and he was doing it in driveways and behind cars, and I realized that his service is needed,” Emerson said.

But Emerson was surprised to find that clients who have reserved the truck for Friday and Saturday night aren’t just Tinder addicts.

Creator Spy Emerson driving the unmarked Hook-Up Truck Greg Earl

“It’s not just the exhibitionists you’d imagine,” Emerson said. There are single mothers, a military wife surprising her husband when he’s on leave, and husband who is surprising his wife for their anniversary. “They’re gong to have dinner, and then he’s going to bring her to the truck.”

You shouldn’t have?

Emerson is also hoping to collect materials from the Hook-Up Truck for an art exhibition she hopes to present at Miami’s Art Basel in December. So if couples are interested, photos before, after, and even during are strongly encouraged.

Emerson says that “this weekend is just to get us out there and rolling around.” Literally and metaphorically.

TIME Bizarre

62 High School Students Arrested For Pee-Brained Senior Prank

Joke's on them?

A typical senior prank involving overturned desks, balloons, silly string, hot dogs taped on lockers, smeared Vaseline on doorknobs… oh yeah, and urine soaked floors led to the mass-arrest 62 New Jersey high school students early Thursday.

“I’ve been a police officer 19 years and this is the craziest thing I’ve ever seen,” Teaneck Police Sgt. John Garland told NBC New York.

Acting Teaneck Police Chief Robert Carney said officers arrived at Teaneck High School when a burglar alarm went off at 2 a.m. While some students escaped by running out of the building, police ended up arresting 62 students, including 24 of adult age.

The 38 juveniles, who must be pretty happy right now to have not hit their 18th birthday just yet, were released to their parents.

Here’s the scene of the crime:

“They’re learning the hard way that it’s not too funny,” Garland said.

School remained open Thursday, and at least no dead fish were involved in the incident.

[NBC New York]

TIME Bizarre

Authorities Seize Speakers from Man Who Repeatedly Blasted Céline Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”

It could not go on any longer

Authorities seized an Englishman’s stereo system earlier this month because he played Céline Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” too loudly, disturbing the neighbors.

The man, who was in his 40s, had breached a noise abatement order six times before “a warrant was obtained from magistrates and officers then seized thousands of pounds worth of equipment” including “anything that could cause more noise like his 3D TV, a laptop, various speakers, a sound docking station with iPod 32 DVDs, CDs and a PlayStation 3,” according to a statement published online by Medway Council, which is in Kent, a county of Southeast England. He can apply for the equipment’s return after a month.

He was also blasting James Brown’s “Sex Machine”, Apache Indian’s “Boom Shack-A-Lak”, Steppenwolf’s “Born To Be Wild”, and “You’ve Got a Friend In Me” from Toy Story, the release says.

(h/t BBC)

TIME Bizarre

Grinch Wants Dr. Seuss’ Hop On Pop Banned

Hop on Pop

The complainant claims the children's classic encourages violence and should be banned from Toronto public libraries

A father’s rights advocate finally stood up and said enough to librarian apologists who spread the lascivious gospel of Dr. Seuss’s classic Hop on Pop.

The Toronto Public Library released its annual review committee notes Monday, which included a request to ban the 1963 Dr. Seuss classic for “encourag[ing] children to use violence against their fathers.” The traumatized complainant not only asked libraries to pull the book from its collection and issue a formal apology to the fathers of Toronto, but also that they “pay for damages resulting from the book.”

Even American dignitaries have been complicit in spreading Seuss’ dangerous propaganda. First Lady and former librarian Laura Bush touted Hop on Pop as one of her personal favorites to the Wall Street Journal, recalling when her daughters took the book “literally” and (trigger warning ahead) jumped on President Bush’s stomach. “We have the pictures to prove it,” she said. To our knowledge, Barbara and Jenna were never charged in the incident.

The Toronto Library system did not submit to the complainant’s belly aching. The book remains in circulation in part because the children in the book are, in fact, told not to hop on Pop.

Now is when we’d make jokes about GMO protestors launching a campaign against Green Eggs and Ham … but we don’t want to give anyone any ideas considering it was already banned in China for its “portrayal of early Marxism” and briefly in California for allegedly touting acts of homosexual seduction.

TIME Bizarre

WATCH: House Painted Like Victorian in Up Angers Neighbors

One family's pastel dream house looks "atrocious" to neighbor Lou Faria

+ READ ARTICLE

Two lucky kids in Santa Clara, Calif. now live in a home that looks just like the whimsical Victorian from Up, but their neighbors aren’t impressed.

“They love the movie Up and we just thought we’d give them something fun to be proud of and actually all the kids in the neighborhood really love the colors,” homeowner Hosam Haggog told NBC. All that’s missing are the balloons.

This isn’t the first time the Pixar movie has inspired a real-life dwelling: a Utah house modeled after the very same building was sold for $400,000 in 2011.

After more than two years of renovation, Haggog and wife Fatima Rahman are dealing with the controversy sparked by their home makeover. That’s because the home in question is located on Santa Clara’s Harrison Street, known for its historic Victorian-style houses, also known as painted ladies, which were built during the Victorian era.

Neighbor Lou Faria called the paint job “atrocious” and said the painted lady now looks like a “clown.”

TIME Bizarre

Stranger Hacks Into Baby Monitor and Screams at Child

Parents in Cincinnati, Ohio, heard a male voice screaming at their baby through their baby monitor, which appears to have been hacked, FOX19 reports.

According to Heather Schreck, the stranger was yelling at her 10-month-old daughter Emma, “‘Wake up baby. Wake up baby.’ Then just screaming at her trying to wake her up.” Then Adam Schreck, the baby’s father, said when he ran into the room, the camera turned and started shouting at him.

It is the latest IP camera manufactured by Foscam and used as a baby monitor that has gone viral because of a security breach. In August 2013, NewsFeed reported via ABC13 that in Houston, a stranger saw a two-year-old girl’s name written on her bedroom wall via the Internet-connected cam and started making abusive comments like “‘‘Wake up you little sl#t.’” Forbes has reported that the company had a “firmware vulnerability” caused by outdated software that could cause hackers to easily tap in, but software updates were supposed to make the network more secure. That said, earlier this year, PCWorld noticed that similar concerns about the security of the Foscam wireless IP cameras have been raised in company’s technical support forums.

Solutions expert Dave Hatter recommended to FOX19 that passwords should be changed on the WiFi network and the camera software, but admitted, “Any kind of Internet-connected device essentially could be subjected to this.”

TIME Bizarre

The Cool New Way to Get High Is Apparently To Rub Burt’s Bees Lip Balm On Your Eyelids

Burt's Bees products are displayed at Gramercy Natural Front
Jb Reed / Bloomberg / Getty Images

It's called "Beezin"

Apparently, the youths have found yet another bizarre and probably unsafe way to alter their mental states.

Oklahoma City’s Fox-25 reports that teens are now getting a new kind of “buzz” by applying Burt’s Bees lip balm to their eyelids. Naturally, they’re calling it “Beezin” and apparently it adds to the experience of already being drunk or high by adding an additional tingling sensation. Others say it keeps them alert.

But like, why did the youths choose Burt’s Bees?

It’s the peppermint oil that’s causing the burning sensation and I suppose some people think that is kind of funny,” Dr. Brett Cauthen at Today Clinic told Fox-25.

Yeah, funny until you get pink eye, dude! Then no one will want to hang out with you because you’re that weirdo with red swollen eyes.

If you don’t believe that “Beezin” is a real thing, then allow this video to convince you:

(h/t Gawker)

TIME Bizarre

Did Apple Maps Just Find the Loch Ness Monster?

A mysterious image found on Apple Maps is "likely" evidence of the fabled Loch Ness monster in the Scottish Highlands, says a bunch of monster enthusiasts. Others note the picture resembles the wake of a boat

Apple is known for inventing the iPhone and revolutionizing personal technology, but now it is famous for solving one of the enduring mysteries of man’s encounters with the uncanny: it has found the Loch Ness monster.

Or so claim Loch Ness theorists, who point to a satellite image on Apple maps that shows a mysterious shape in the Scottish body of water where the famous monster is said to dwell, reports the Daily Mail.

The image appears to show a large ripple in the water, similar to the wake of a boat. But monster conspiracists see something else altogether. After a comprehensive analysis, enthusiasts at the Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club have concluded that the figure is “likely” the fabled beast:

“It looks like a boat wake, but the boat is missing. You can see some boats moored at the shore, but there isn’t one here. We’ve shown it to boat experts and they don’t know what it is,” Club president Gary Campbell told the Mail. “Whatever this is, it is under the water and heading south, so unless there have been secret submarine trials going on in the loch, the size of the object would make it likely to be Nessie.”

The image was spotted by two people who noticed it at the end of last year on their phones, who said they were just perusing Apple maps when they found the mysterious image. The map image can only be seen on some iPads and iPhones and beamed by the Apple satellite map app.

So next time you’re on Apple maps, keep an eye out for the Yeti in your backyard.

[Daily Mail]

TIME viral

The Birth Of Instagram’s Latest Trend: Playing Cats Like Musical Instruments

If your air guitar was made out of… a feline

A group of friends in Philadelphia unintentionally became the creators of Instagram’s latest, bizarre hashtag meme: the #catband. And they all think it’s really, really weird that now hundreds of strangers have started playing their cats as if they were air guitars, air bongos, and even air bagpipes.

Julie Malone’s cat, Lilly, has become a staple in her friendship circle “because she’s fat and really nice and you can just do anything to her and she thinks it’s great,” the 25-year-old Anthropologie jewelry buyer told TIME. And so, when Malone’s boyfriend started playing music during dinner, she thought it would be a funny idea to play her cat like a ukelele — er… “Uke-Lilly”—and tag the obese feline’s adoring fans in an Instagram video.

Lilly’s unperturbed thumb licking made the video really shine.

Jack Hartman soon responded with a video of himself playing his screaming cat Dusty —”He’s so mean!” Malone said—like a bongo drum. “Let’s start a band,” he posted.

Then Kenny Kim started blowing his 20 lb cat Sketchie like a bagpipe, threw on the hashtag #catband so he and his friends could keep track of what was going on, and pretty soon a meme was born.

Dan Toffey, who manages Instagram’s #weeklyfluff feature and keeps up with emerging animal trends in the community told TIME he noticed the hashtag gaining traction over the past couple of weeks—with as many as a hundred in the last week, gaining in volume every day.

There are cat flutes:

Cat trumpets:

And even rabbit rebuttals:

Kim finds this all surreal. “All the original catbanders are definitely sitting back shaking their heads at what has become of it for sure,” he said. “The fact that there is a post on Knowyourmeme.com really legitimized it for us.”

Malone agrees. “I did it just for our dorky friends who like the cat,” she said. “If I knew that people from France and Russia were going to see it, I would have shot a more flattering video.”

Kim and his fiancée Hilary set up a #catband Tumblr, but he says maintaining the new entries has become a sort of part time job. “Cats, man.”

TIME Bizarre

The ‘Most Haunted Island’ on Earth Is Now Up for Auction

Poveglia: A Venice Lagoon Island of Sadness and Horror
VENICE, ITALY - AUGUST 27: Beds and furniture remain in one of the dormitories in the psychiatric ward of the abandoned Hospital of Poveglia on August 27, 2011 in Venice, Italy. The island of Poveglia, with its ruined hospital and plague burial grounds, is said to be the most haunted location in the world. The area is located within a multi-million dollar piece of real estate but is deserted and off limits to the public. The dark and derelict forbidding shores are only minutes away from the glamour of the Venice Film Festival on the Lido. (Photo by Marco Secchi/Getty Images) Marco Secchi—Getty Images

American Horror Story: International Edition

For those who watched American Horror Story and thought, “Gee, it looks like Connie Britton is having a fantastic time, how can I recreate this living experience?”—you’re in luck. To pay off its public debt and appease the European Union’s budgeting guidelines, Italy is auctioning an island off of Venice that just happens to be considered one of the most haunted places on earth! Or as HuffPost puts it, “Like Hell, but in Italy.” Getting driven into madness by ghosts is so much more fun when you get to eat pasta while doing it!

Why should you be afraid of the deserted Venetian island of Poveglia?

For starters, it is deserted. Even though it’s beautiful and incredibly close to Venice, one of the most fannypack and Segway-tour-filled cities in the world. Literally 10 minutes from Saint Marco Square.

Poveglia’s sordid history serves asa good explanation for why no one wants to go there. The 17-acre island became a dumping ground for Europeans dying of the plague. And as the rumors have it, the ghosts of the plagued still haunt the island. Things took a turn for the lighter in 1922 when a hospital for the elderly—thought to be a cover for mental institution—was opened. Cue widely spread rumors of botched lobotomies and a doctor who threw himself to his death from a hospital tower. No doubt a side-effect of getting haunted by the patients he was maiming.

Other fun facts: there’s a local saying that goes “When an evil man dies, he wakes up in Poveglia,” there are rumors that the soil is made 50% out of human ash, and talk that an American TV host was possessed during a recent visit to the island.

Apart from that, though, we’re sure it will make a great spot for a destination getaway.

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