TIME Music

Childish Gambino Mans Up, Declares Himself ‘The Best Rapper’ Alive

Donald Glover (aka "Childish Gambino") performs at the RBC Royal Bank Bluesfest
Childish Gambino performs at the RBC Royal Bank Bluesfest on July 12 in Ottawa, Canada. Mark Horton—Getty Images

Better known to some as Donald Glover, the multitalented entertainer called out Drake, Kendrick Lamar and Schoolboy Q during a show in Sydney. It might be just what he needs to take the next step

Donald Glover’s rapper alter-ego, Childish Gambino, has always been brash. He’s talked about his sexual exploits, his boundless talent and his popularity since he started releasing tracks six years ago. But the cocksure verses spat by Childish Gambino were always tempered by what we knew about the “real” Donald Glover, the one who went from Stone Mountain, Georgia, to NYU to the writers’ room of 30 Rock to the role of gentle soul Troy Barnes on Community, all with the apparent humility of someone who didn’t attain multi-platform success and acclaim before the age of 30.

Over the last couple years, however, Glover has seemingly made an effort to reconcile his rapper persona with his public one. First, he dropped off the grid. Then he dropped out of Community. Now it appears he’s devoted his full attention to his music career, dropping his second studio album Because the Internet in December of last year and embarking on his multi-continent Deep Web tour.

The final act of the old Donald Glover — or perhaps the first act of the new one — came over the weekend during a show in Sydney. Though Childish Gambino has always been irrepressibly cocky, his modus operandi has been to not call out his peers without provocation (typically preferring to fire shots at those who’ve called him a “fake” rapper or criticized him for not being black enough). That changed with one verse from Sunday’s show:

I’m the best rapper, definitely top five.
If these other rappers think they’re better, they’re f—ing not alive.
I cut their head off, that’s every rapper living.
That’s Kendrick. That’s Drake. That’s Schoolboy. That’s everyone.
I don’t give a f—, I’ll kill n—s.

He later added:

This n— think he Drake. Nah, I ain’t Drake.
I sing better, I do better, my sh— wetter.

Some may believe Glover’s rant is ill-advised. After all, he hasn’t enjoyed nearly the critical or commercial success that either Drake or Kendrick Lamar have over the last few years. But his declaration may have been necessary. It’s a whole lot easier to dismiss an actor-turned-rapper whose verses are devoted to his taste in women and clever rhymes about esoteric topics than it is one who’s calling out two of the biggest names in the game while in the midst of an enormous tour. And it’s hard not to appreciate the irony of Glover going after Kendrick, whose “Ether”-worthy verse on Big Sean’s “Control” elevated him to more than just a critical darling.

It’s clear now that Glover is not — and has no interest in being — a rapper whose fanbase is comprised largely of Community fans and predominantly white teenagers (who made up at least 90% of the crowd when I went to a Childish Gambino show in 2011). We don’t know yet whether there will be any blowback from Glover’s verse in Sydney, but it’s not hard to imagine Drake, Kendrick and some of Glover’s fans — at least the more casual ones — being less than thrilled.

Regardless of the fallout from Glover’s verse, it was a savvy move. His die-hard fans, of which there are plenty, are sure to love the fact that their guy is willing to go after the giants of the industry, and it may inspire those who’ve long held Childish Gambino as a novelty to reconsider that position. Best rapper alive? Highly debatable. But Glover might now be part of a conversation that he never was a part of before.

TIME Music

REVIEW: Jenny Lewis Is Out of This World on The Voyager

Jenny Lewis, The Voyager
The Voyager Warner Bros.

Her first solo album in six years does not disappoint

Jenny Lewis is the kind of artist who could drop an album of animal noises she recorded in the woods and still have fans foaming at the mouth. So beloved is the former Rilo Kiley frontwoman that it’s almost surprising there wasn’t more outcry from her devotees in the six years it took to release another solo album. Sure, she kept somewhat busy — putting out a record with boyfriend Johnathan Rice, touring with a reunited The Postal Service — but as she reminds listeners on her third outing, The Voyager (out now), there’s nothing quite like Jenny Lewis front and center.

The Voyager is her least rootsy album to date, one that recalls the polish of her old band’s swan song, 2007’s Under the Blacklight, rather than the folk and country leanings of 2006’s Rabbit Fur Coat and 2008’s Acid Tongue. As effortless and breezy as the final product sounds, though, The Voyager wasn’t so easy to make: in the years since her last album, Rilo Kiley disbanded, Lewis’ father passed away and she battled severe insomnia the once kept her up for five days straight.

Lewis can be cagey about just how much she’s revealing in the lyrics that appear most confessional — see a recent, almost comically tight-lipped explanation of the lyrics in “Just One of the Guys” — but references to her struggles do dot the record. Or rather, sandwiching tales of colorful characters and vice, they bookend it. On the album opener “Head Underwater,” Lewis sings of mourning, hallucinations and finding freedom after confronting her own mortality; on the closing title track, she mentions wake-up calls and departing for heaven to get out of this world. Befitting its title, the album meditates on a number of journeys: entering the altered states of sleep deprivation, overcoming personal turmoil, crossing into life after death.

Her subject matter couldn’t be more suited to her creative process. “I am writing from a very simplistic place musically, and I feel like the words and melody come from somewhere else,” she told TIME earlier this summer. “They don’t come from an intellectual place, they arrive from another zone entirely.”

Lewis’ lyrics earn praise for their inclusive, non-judgmental studies of heartbreak and character flaws, but — her modesty aside — it’s hard to find a better summary of her songwriting strengths than her own explanation of how she works. Lewis’ music is timeless and her voice is far from otherwordly, but there is something to be said for the way her melodies have a habit of suddenly veering off into emotional sweet spots, taking songs into another zone entirely (to borrow her words). You hear it on the chorus of the Acid Tongue title track when Lewis sings the word “alive,” and, thankfully, you hear it over and over again across The Voyager. Like any good film score, string arrangements and production flourishes from Beck and Ryan Adams nudge listeners’ feelings toward those places, but it’s almost unnecessary at this point — Lewis can get you there all on her own.

TIME celebrity

Here’s Benedict Cumberbatch Doing His Dragon Voice From The Hobbit at Comic-Con

He sure knows how to please a crowd

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At San Diego Comic-Con this year, Benedict Cumberbatch was quite the busy little bee. When he wasn’t off chillin’ with penguins, he was indulging his fans (er, excuse me, his Cumberbabes) by practicing the dragon voice that he crafted for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

Sadly, he only says one phrase in this very special voice, but come on, don’t be greedy.

TIME Opinion

The Bachelorette Finale Is Terrifying If You Know Nothing About the Show

One man's journey into the unknown

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I’ve never seen an episode of The Bachelorette. The editors at TIME have been sending me into extremely unfamiliar territory of late and I’ve been instructed to watch and write about the season finale of the show. So I arranged to go to the home of a friend who is hosting a season finale party for the roughly dozen women in her fantasy Bachelorette league (which is a thing, so there you have it—we’re already breaking ground in this investigation).

Once more unto the breach.

Before we begin, this is what I know about The Bachelorette: a group of bachelors compete through feats of strength, wit and charm for the affections of a bachelorette, who confers her approval by giving the winner a rose. There’s a companion show called The Bachelor. In the season finale of this show, I think, two men enter the competition and one leaves the victor—I’ve seen Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome so I have some background in that regard.

What follows is an abridged play-by-play.

“In tonight’s Bachelorette you won’t believe what will happen…both men say they’re in love with her…. “ The woman on screen is in tears, presumably indicating that she’s sad to have to choose one guy over the other. Surely this can’t be because she’s contractually obligated to marry one of them. We’re drinking Rosé (which I don’t like but when in Rome) and the ladies have declared with impressive conviction that we hate Nick and we want Josh to win. Josh is a jock and they both suck but Josh sucks less because Nick is manipulative. We like her dress.

There’s an exceptional raspberry/jalapeño-jelly drizzled cheese plate, among other awesome snacks. Impressed. Now everyone is being served individual salads! On little plates with metal forks! This is living.

I’ve just learned that the Bachelorette, whose name is Andi, age 26ish, gave up a law career “in order to find love.” This plot point for a reality television show is unsettling to me, for obvious reasons. My co-watchers seem to share my feelings and nonetheless enjoy the spectacle. Also I just remembered this is two hours long.

Scandal! I misunderstood an earlier conversation and there is division about who we want to win—a roughly even split between Josh and Nick.

Nick is clearly running the awkward sweetheart game.

What kind of career is “former pro baseball player”? That is not a job.

Josh: “I have no thoughts.” You said it, brother.

I’m watching a game show in which actual humans are purporting to live out an early-stage romance on camera, with a soundtrack, as though at the end of the show they ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. This show is unspeakably bizarre and I’m clearly feeling invested in its outcome. Deeply unsettling.

Josh just gave her a baseball card with her name rendered as “Andi Murray.” MURRAY IS HIS LAST NAME. She likes it, which is almost as weird.

Andi is the real star here. This is masterful—and terrifying, in a way, to the extent that this “acting” ability, if you can call it that, exists in other humans.

She keeps saying the same things to and about both of these dudes. Also everything is the most hardest last thing that will ever happen to anyone for the rest of everyone’s life.

I switched to beer under duress.

This feels like watching a sporting event filled entirely by halftime interviews.

Exceptional banana pudding just came out at the party.

Andi just came to break up with Nick. We know this because of everything about the situation but also because of the haunting heavy drama music that accompanied her walking in the room.

Is this real? I feel like these people just “broke up” to whatever weird extent that event can happen in this context and they need to hug and carry on with their lives but they’re stuck in the room because some hellfire producer is pointing a gun at them. Now Nick is mad at Andi. He has flipped the script and is accusing her of leading him on, basically, and of crossing him somehow by not liking him back, and possibly, if any of this is real, he is a sociopath. ANDI. RUN.

Victory dance by the fantasy league pool winner who is $100 richer.

There’s an important post-game show called “After the Final Rose.” Nick is sad and pathetic and leaning dangerously into real-life creep territory with all this talk of how Andi led him on.

Fellow watcher Christa: “Is this taking advantage of someone that’s a little on the verge?”

Fellow watcher Emi: “I think that’s what this whole show is about.”

Well played.

Nick keeps saying things like, “She kept giving me so many reasons to be confident.” The normalization of stalkerness is legitimately troubling.

I just learned these people just met each other several weeks ago. None of this is real. I’m getting another beer. We’re done here.

TIME Television

Who Will Be the Next Bachelor: Nick V., Farmer Chris or Grumpy Cat?

Craig Sjodin /ABC/American Broadcasting Companies, Inc. /2014

#TeamMarquel

Who is the next star of The Bachelor?

After The Bachelorette star Andi Dorfman made her choice, fans’ attention quickly shifted from Nick or Josh to who would star in the next installment of the popular franchise. The star is usually announced during the After the Final Rose show, but last night, host Chris Harrison pat popular Bachelorette contestant Farmer Chris on the shoulder and said the decision would be made later. Who or what could the show be waiting on?

One guess is that the producers were testing finalist Nick V.’s audience appeal during his appearance on last night’s After the Final Rose show. While Nick may have earned some sympathy votes from soft-hearted fans sad to see him discarded in the final moments of the show, his frequent attempts to see Andi in person went from seeking closure to full-on creepy. Plus, his decision to shame Andi for sleeping with him in the Fantasy Suite when she wasn’t convinced she should marry him was unnecessary and harsh, especially as it’s been a longstanding Bachelor tradition that what happens in the Fantasy Suite stays in the Fantasy Suite. After that display — and in the wake of least favorite Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis — Nick’s most likely out of the running to be America’s next top bachelor.

If the producers are looking for the anti-Juan Pablo, they need look no farther than Farmer Chris. The Iowa native is a sweet, soft-spoken man who has proven himself to be a fan favorite (one fan even gave him her phone number during The Men Tell All episode). Aside from the fact that she sent him packing, he also has Andi’s seal of approval. “I mean, look at him,” she told People. “Chris has the whole package. He is the all-American guy who is a farmer who does not look like a farmer, but he’s also successful and he’s ready for a family. He’s going to be a great husband and a great father.”

However, the producers may be concerned that casting Chris could turn The Bachelor franchise into an unwanted reboot of another reality show — the blessedly short-lived Farmer Wants A Wife. That show, which lived for one season on The CW Network, featured eight women vying for the affections of a strapping bachelor farmer — a premise that might be too close for the producers’ comfort. Also, while Chris is affable and romantic, he was also incredibly taciturn on the show. The strong-and-silent type doesn’t play well on television. Chris may be getting some behind-the-scenes prep work by agents, acting coaches and producers in preparation for being a star, but he may also be spending his time polishing his FarmersOnly.com dating profile. No doubt someone at that website is eyeballing a Bachelor crossover deal.

Another Bachelorette fan favorite was Marcus, another contestant tossed aside during Andi’s journey to love. However, rumor (a.k.a. US Weekly) has it that he’s engaged to someone he met on Bachelor in Paradise — Lacy Faddoul, one of the women who mercifully escaped the clutches of Juan Pablo on The Bachelor. An engagement would probably keep him out of the running to be the next Bachelor, but if he winds up heartbroken or left at the altar, there is still a shot of handing out roses to women ready to pick up the pieces with him.

There’s also a chance that blast from The Bachelorette‘s past may take up the mantle of Man in Chief on The Bachelor. US Weekly reports that Arie Luyendyk Jr. may be angling for a return to the reality TV spotlight. The tall, dark and handsome race car driver was the runner-up on Bachelorette Emily Maynard’s season (she chose philanthropist and entrepreneur Jef for a short-lived romance). In the wake of his broken heart, Arie went on to date infamous Bachelor contestant Courtney Robertson in the wake of her break-up with Bachelor Ben Flajnik. A flow chart might be necessary to keep this all straight, but many fans of the show would be willing to watch Arie find love.

Finally, there’s Marquel Martin. The cookie-loving, straight-talking, funny and charismatic contestant was left on the side of Andi’s road to love, but he was already a fan favorite. Not only did he gracefully handle uncomfortable situations with other contestants, but he did it with forthright charm and wit. While there was some speculation that Marquel may not want to be known as the show’s “first African-American Bachelor,” he may be coming around. “Am I opposed to it? Absolutely not,” Martin told E! about the possibility of being cast as The Bachelor. “That is something…to talk with my family about if I was afforded that opportunity. Obviously, right now I’m not thinking about that because I don’t know if that’s even an option.” The only thing standing in his way? Being cast on Bachelor in Paradise. Typically the show only sends its B-team players to the island of misfit boys and girls, but things may be changing on the show in the wake of Juan Pablo and producers may want to see how a fan favorite fits into the Bachelor universe before making him their star.

So who will it be? We’re still Team Marquel. Alternatively, we’ll accept Grumpy Cat, whose surprise appearance on After the Final Rose qualifies her for casting.

MORE: The Bachelorette Watch: 11 Things We Learned When the Men Tell All

MORE: RECAP: Bachelorette Finale: Andi Makes Her Choice

TIME Late Night Highlight

Watch James Franco Teach Jimmy Fallon How to Take Selfies With Fans

Wear shades and a baseball cap, basically

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Late night host Jimmy Fallon teased actor James Franco on The Tonight Show Monday for taking selfies with fans wearing huge sunglasses and not smiling.

“I’m going to show you why,” said Franco. It turns out, Franco said, most people don’t know how to take a good selfie. But if you put sunglasses on, and a hat on, and you make a stone-like face… “Then you’re going to look good from any angle!”

The 36-year-old actor just wrapped up performances of Broadway show Of Mice and Men, which set a box office record by earning more than a million dollars last week.

 

TIME Television

Bachelorette Finale: Andi Makes Her Choice

ABC

Big surprises are in store for Josh and Nick ... and Grumpy Cat!

Nick or Josh? Nick or Josh? Welcome to the finale of The Bachelorette, where Andi Dorfman must choose which of the two eligible bachelors will become her life partner. There’s Nick, the crazy-eyed stallion with the supposed heart of gold who makes Andi feel his passion for her and accent scarves. Then there’s Josh, the former pro baseball player who never misses a chance to flash his extremely white teeth, bulky biceps or his feelings for Andi. We’ve made our choice. But whom will Andi choose? As we join Chris Harrison in the studio, he informs us that the man Andi didn’t choose is not over her and has been trying to see her, and she has repeatedly turned him down. Sounds like fun to watch for the whole family.

Here’s what happened on the finale of The Bachelorette:

Nick Meets the Family: Nick is so nervous to meet Andi’s family that he is sweating all over the veranda. Her mother makes sure that Nick and the viewing audience knows Andi worked her way through law school. Nick spends all his time telling Mama Dorfman that he loves Andi. He says the L word about 20 times and until her mother begs for mercy. Then Nick turns his attention to Andi’s father Hy and asks for his blessing to marry his daughter. He pauses and tells Nick that in his family, commitment is for life and then shrugs and says sure, later interviewing that he would be O.K. with having Nick as a son-in-law. The one thing they can all agree on is this: Nick loves Andi. Nick and Andi make out on the couch to seal the deal.

Suave Hair Moments: Someone from Suave gives Andi a shiny coif. “Perfect for a rose ceremony,” decrees Andi. “Best of luck, Andi!” chirps Desiree. “You look wonderful,” notes Catherine. “Why did I watch this?” sighs a nation.

Josh Meets the Family: Josh notes that he only has one chance to make a first impression. He walks into the house and realizes that he is wearing the exact same blue button-down, white shorts outfit as Hy. Awkward! Despite the fashion faux pas, he hands Hy cigars, gives Patti flowers and hyperventilates all over the place. Patti rolls her eyes as Josh sweats through his shirt. They are all concerned that Josh is too much like Andi’s past boyfriends. Josh announces that he wants to marry Andi, and Hy gives him his blessing to propose to his daughter on prime time. Hy has no concerns about Josh whatsoever. In an interview, Josh announces, “Andi is my wife!”

Final Date With Josh: For their final date, Josh and Andi canoodle on a cruise around the Dominican Republic and Andi uses her law degree to grill Josh about what he said to her family. Josh flashes his pearly whites (is he sponsored by Crest White Strips?) and voice-overs that he wants to spend his life with his best friend. Then the producers make the wise decision to station a cameraman in the water to capture the moment that Andi’s bikini-clad behind enters the water after jumping off the boat with Josh and refraining from making a poignant metaphor about love and jumping. Back on land, Josh wants answers. Andi gives him a few without showing her hand or demanding to know why he thought red pants were a good choice for the evening. Josh hands her a baseball card with her name listed as Andi Murray, because of course she is changing her last name. Josh can’t imagine his life without her and Andi says “Josh is so my type” more times than Carl Gauss can count.

Final Date With Nick: For his final date with Andi, Nick opted to pair a blue V-neck T-shirt with blue athletic shorts for a Sad-Eyed-Smurf look. They go off-roading in the Dominican Republic, because it lends itself to the best marital metaphors. Andi and Nick do not canoodle. When Nick tells her that he’s going to marry her, she smiles politely; when they kiss, she holds her braid out of the way. That is not a good sign. Later, Andi stops by Nick’s hotel room and he overthinks and rambles and breathes heavily. Nick feels lucky and says he can’t wait to go grocery shopping with her. Nick hands her a box of sand from their first date. Sand? Sand.

Andi’s Choice: Andi feels passionately about Nick, but she also feels strongly about Josh. The men are nervous, and to prove this, the cameramen take a lot of photos of them staring moodily off into the middle distance. Then Neil Lane shows up to blow his annual promotional budget. Josh picks out an enormous rock.

The Drama: Then it is Nick’s turn. There’s a knock on the door, but it’s not Neil Lane. It’s Andi. The live-studio audience gasps. Chris polls the imported Bachelor/ette detritus about what it all means. Claire, who was loudly dumped by Juan Pablo Galavis, wishes that someone would have come to her door. Drew, who was abandoned by Desiree Hartsock, sadly reveals that it took him months to understand what had happened to him. In short: Andi’s arrival at Nick’s door is bad news for Nick.

The Big Talk: Andi tells Nick that she woke up this morning and just didn’t feel it. Something isn’t right, and she can’t go through with it. Nick is hyperventilating again and Andi joins him. Nick isn’t processing it. She apologizes a lot. Nick accuses her of “taking it too far” and wishing that she hadn’t said or done certain things. Then he takes his box of sand and goes home. But before he goes, he throws all of the roses he was going to scrapbook into the trash. Nick tears up in the limo, because he was in love. The studio audience cries with him. It rains as Andi thinks about what she’s done.

Josh and Andi Sitting in a Tree: At the final rose ceremony, Andi is bubbling out of her skin in excitement, which sounds like a special effect from a Guillermo del Toro movie, but isn’t that gross. Josh comes to find her and immediately launches into a well-prepared speech about how much he loves her. After pretending she was on the fence, she tells him she loves him and has loved him since the moment she first laid eyes on him. He drops to one knee and proposes. She says yes and kisses him while staring at the enormous Neil Lane diamond behind his back.

After the Final Rose: Nick wanders the streets of Wisconsin, heartbroken. He makes a decision and decides to go full creeper. He flies to L.A. to try and talk to Andi before the Men-Tell-All special. He has a heart to heart with Chris Harrison, who takes his message to Andi. She negs him and refuses to grant him an audience. Presumably that’s when Nick grabs a stereo and plays Elvis Costello’s stalker anthem “I Want You” outside Andi’s dressing-room window until the ABC security guards drag him away. Chris tells Andi that this was the second time Nick tried to see her and hands Andi a letter from Nick and suggests she read it (the “before we apply for a restraining order” is implied).

In the Studio: On stage with Chris, Nick blames Andi for giving him false hope and imbuing him with confidence. Nick swears that he likes Josh, stops to dry a tear and says he’ll always wonder about what he could have had with Andi. Chris reminds him that Andi can’t avoid him anymore. She comes out looking very guarded (or like she was wearing extreme Spanx). Nick’s hands shake as he pouts that Andi hurt him. She apologizes. He keeps talking about how hurt he is until he finally goes dark pointing out that if she didn’t love she shouldn’t have “made love” to him. Nick thought she did “fiancée kinds of things” in the Fantasy Suite, which is not a metaphor I am willing to unpack. (She made dinner for his unappreciative college friends?) Also, Nick: what happens in the Fantasy Suites, stays in the Fantasy Suites. Andi is not impressed with that one (Josh probably isn’t either). She tells Nick that she did care about him and that’s why she didn’t let him propose. She tried to be respectful. Chris calls the round after that, but the producers won’t let viewers pick it as “The Bachelorette Most Bleachable Moment.” Instead we are treated to a different awkward Nick moment from earlier in the season. Thanks a lot, Clorox.

The Sweet Ever After: The second Nick leaves and Josh joins Andi on stage, she starts to shine. They giggle, they tease, they hold hands and legs and knees and seem genuinely in love. Josh declares that the show works and to prove that, they randomly bring out Grumpy Cat. Because they can. Viva la Bachelorette!

MORE: It’s the Bachelorette Finale: Will Andi Pick Josh or Nick?

MORE: Bachelorette Watch: 11 Things We Learned When the Men Tell All

TIME Television

It’s The Bachelorette Finale: Will Andi Pick Josh or Nick?

CHRIS HARRISON, ANDI DORFMAN
THE BACHELORETTE - "Episode 1010" --Season Finale Javier Pesquera—ABC

Plus, watch a sneak peek of Andi's family meeting Nick and Josh

The Bachelorette‘s journey to love ends Monday night. If all goes according to script, over the course of the three-hour Bachelorette event, Andi Dorfman will end up with a strapping young gentleman kneeling before her, slipping a giant Neil Lane diamond ring on her finger. Not only will it be a great promotional moment for Neil Lane jewelers, but it will also be the crowning moment for the sultry Atlanta district attorney who started her fairy tale in the nightmare of sharing a fantasy suite with Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis.

After meeting a herd of producer-approved, gelled, bronzed and after-shaved bachelors, Andi has sorted, whittled, honed and thinned her flock of eligible life mates down to two possibilities: Nick V. and Josh M.

Nick V. is a software salesman from Wisconsin with an extremely large family, a predilection for poetry and a love of accent scarves. He wasn’t on The Bachelorette to make friends and proved that again and again. He did catch Andi’s eye early on, though, winning the coveted First Impression rose and sneaking many a quiet make out sessions with Andi. In his profile on ABC.com, he lists Dumb & Dumber among his favorite movies and says that “to feed off other’s [sic.] people’s energy is intense.”

Josh, a former pro baseball player, told ABC that if he was stranded on a desert island he would bring “a woman to be with and to have company, a gun to easily kill animals to eat, and a knife to carve them up,” which sounds delightful if you’re into that sort of thing and like a deleted scene from Silence of the Lambs if you’re not. Still, he and Andi — who has been known to take dates to target practice — have an unmistakable chemistry. Andi has already admitted that Josh is her type and since she liked his family, there isn’t much left in the “con” column. Plus, they are from the same part of the country. Long distances have been the death-knell for many a Bachelor-initiated relationship, but their Southern roots would eliminate that particular stressor. Also, he wears a size 13 shoe. (Just saying.)

So who will take the title? We’re Team Marquel, but as Andi already ditched him (and he was cast in forthcoming reality TV atrocity, Bachelor in Paradise), our money is on Josh.

Watch Josh sweat when he meets Andi’s family:

 

Watch Nick try to win Andi’s father’s blessing to wed his beloved daughter:

 

MORE: RECAP: The Bachelorette Watch: Three’s a Crowd in a Fantasy Suite

MORE: The Bachelorette Watch: 11 Things We Learned When the Men Tell All

TIME Books

The Gang From Always Sunny Has Written a Self-Help Book

FX Season Premiere Screenings For "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" And "The League"
Jason LaVeris—FilmMagic / Getty Images

Because they're totally the kind of people who should be giving you advice

Dennis, Dee, Mac, Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny have already taught us plenty of things: how to sing a cappella, how to excel at the game of Flip Cup, and how not to act on a first date, for example. Since they’re so good at teaching people how to live their lives, they’ve written a self-help book, which will be released in January. (It’s available for pre-order on Amazon now.)

The book is called It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today. Based on the description, it’s actually a bit hard to tell if it’s really a self-help book, or if it’s simply a book outlining the story of the gang writing a self-help book:

The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.

But further details suggest that the book will indeed include some real advice:

In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.

We already knew they were crab people — now we also know they’re book people.

TIME movies

Watch: This Trailer for the Final Hobbit Movie Is Ready for Battle

Welcome back, Bilbo

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After a relatively last-minute title change that took the final installment of the Hobbit series from There and Back Again to The Battle of the Five Armies, Peter Jackson’s Tolkien adaptation is living up to its title with a suitably bellicose first teaser trailer, which premiered for a live audience at Comic-Con over the weekend. (Fun fact: the panel at which the trailer was shown was moderated by Stephen Colbert, who has a cameo in the movie, according to HitFix’s liveblog of the event.)

“Will you have peace or war?” the trailer asks — and even if Thorin weren’t there to tell us the answer (hint: war), it would be easy to guess, as the trailer is chockablock with archers, armor and dramatic music.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is due in theaters on Dec. 17, 2014.

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