TIME

“Plizzanet Earth” Narrated by Snoop Dogg Is Your New Favorite Nature Show

Grab some gin and juice, sit back, and enjoy

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It’s hard to imagine watching Planet Earth without the sweet, sweet sound of David Attenborough’s silky smooth voice. It’s like the aural version of a scone with butter and jam — how can you beat that? But it turns out Snoop Dogg is pretty excellent as a narrator too. On Jimmy Kimmel Live, the rapper offered some very high-level commentary about some of nature’s greatest mysteries while watching scenes from the popular BBC nature show. For example: “This is a seal. What’s he doing acting like a dolphin?”

Somebody give this man his own nature show, please.

TIME

Here’s a Supercut of All of Tom Haverford’s Ridiculous Business Ideas on Parks and Rec

A little something to tide you over until the show returns for its final season

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One of the many excellent running jokes in NBC’s Parks and Recreation is Tom Haverford’s, uh, entrepreneurial spirit. Throughout the series, he comes up with a variety of business ideas, ranging from the actually-kind-of viable to the downright ridiculous. (Okay, most of them are just downright ridiculous.)

The video compiles most of these ideas into one four-minute supercut — and they end up sounding even more ridiculous one after the other. Several appearances by his sometimes-partner Jean-Ralphio make the video even better.

TIME animals

Why Do Dogs Sniff Each Other’s Butts? Here Comes the Science

An explainer from the American Chemical Society

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You know when you see an otherwise cute and perfect dog with his nose just straight up buried in another dog’s behind, and you’re just like, seriously, dude, why?

This new video from the American Chemical Society explains the science behind this seemingly peculiar behavior — and why the smell doesn’t overwhelm them.

TIME celebrity

DMX Goes on a Ruff Ryde at the Amusement Park

He pretty much loses his mind (up in here, up in here)

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When DMX isn’t busy crashing wedding parties or soundtracking videos of llamas prancing, he’s screaming his face off on amusement park rides. The folks over at TMZ took great care to edit out X’s many, many expletives — but the beauty of this video isn’t really in the words. It’s in the grunts.

(h/t Vulture)

TIME animals

This Highly Coordinated Cat Knows How to Use a Water Cooler

Probably its first step toward inevitable world domination

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This cat is smarter and more agile than most humans we know. Watch as it deftly determines how to operate a water cooler.

TIME Food & Drink

You Can Now Get Tofu McNuggets at McDonald’s in Japan

Views Of FamilyMart Convenience Store And McDonald's Restaurant As Retailers Halt Chicken Sales From China Supplier
Yuriko Nakao / Bloomberg / Getty Images

Ingredients include "onions, soybeans, carrots and minced fish"

If the “chicken” in McDonald’s “chicken” nuggets freaks you out, head over to Japan to try the franchise’s newest snack: Tofu Shinjo Nuggets, which officially go on sale this Wednesday.

They don’t include any chicken — instead, they’re made from ingredients including onions, soybeans, carrots and minced fish, a McDonald’s spokesperson told the Wall Street Journal. They’ll also come with a ginger-flavored sauce.

“Because it isn’t meat, it tastes a bit different. It’s a bit softer,” the spokesperson said. “Calorie-wise, it is a bit lower than chicken as well.”

They basically look like little patties with some pale bits of vegetables mixed in. Check them out in this advertisement:

Apparently, McDonald’s had plans to begin selling this product well before the recent allegations that the chain had been using expired meat.

TIME celebrity

Here’s Benedict Cumberbatch Doing His Dragon Voice From The Hobbit at Comic-Con

He sure knows how to please a crowd

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At San Diego Comic-Con this year, Benedict Cumberbatch was quite the busy little bee. When he wasn’t off chillin’ with penguins, he was indulging his fans (er, excuse me, his Cumberbabes) by practicing the dragon voice that he crafted for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

Sadly, he only says one phrase in this very special voice, but come on, don’t be greedy.

TIME Books

The Gang From Always Sunny Has Written a Self-Help Book

FX Season Premiere Screenings For "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" And "The League"
Jason LaVeris—FilmMagic / Getty Images

Because they're totally the kind of people who should be giving you advice

Dennis, Dee, Mac, Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny have already taught us plenty of things: how to sing a cappella, how to excel at the game of Flip Cup, and how not to act on a first date, for example. Since they’re so good at teaching people how to live their lives, they’ve written a self-help book, which will be released in January. (It’s available for pre-order on Amazon now.)

The book is called It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The 7 Secrets of Awakening the Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant, Today. Based on the description, it’s actually a bit hard to tell if it’s really a self-help book, or if it’s simply a book outlining the story of the gang writing a self-help book:

The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the basement with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book.

But further details suggest that the book will indeed include some real advice:

In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.

We already knew they were crab people — now we also know they’re book people.

TIME animals

9 of the Cutest Dogs All Dressed Up as Superheroes for Comic-Con

Clearly cosplay isn't just for humans

This year’s Comic-Con International in San Diego was truly a celebration of all things comics, all things superheros and, perhaps above all, all things beautifully weird. For many, one of the best parts of the festival is seeing the endlessly creative cosplay (short for costume play) — and while we usually think of humans participating in that, plenty of dogs got in on the fun too. Here are some of our favorite canine cosplayers:

Ollie the French Bulldog, dressed in a "Shazam" costume, sits outside of the San Diego Convention Center during the 2014 Comic-Con International Convention in San Diego
Ollie the French Bulldog, dressed in a “Shazam” costume, sits outside of the San Diego Convention Center during the 2014 Comic-Con International Convention in San Diego, California July 24, 2014. Sandy Huffaker—Reuters
Mark Shaffer walks with Chopper The Biker Dog outside of the San Diego Convention Center during the 2014 Comic-Con International Convention in San Diego
Mark Shaffer walks with Chopper The Biker Dog outside of the San Diego Convention Center during the 2014 Comic-Con International Convention in San Diego, California July 25, 2014. Sandy Huffaker—Reuters

And here, as a bonus gift to you, are two pooches from last year’s festival in San Diego — and one from Dublin:

Exploring California's San Diego County
A pomeranian dog dressed as Batman sits in a toy electric car outside Comic-Con 2013 on July 23, 2013, in San Diego. George Rose—Getty Images
Comic Con Fans Attend The Annual Convention In San Diego
Beckham the dog sports a Superman costume during Comic Con on July 19, 2013 in San Diego. Sandy Huffaker—Getty Images
Dublin Comic Con
Homer the Super Dog, one of the attendees at the Dubin Comic Con event at the National Show centre in Dublin on August 11, 2013. Niall Carso—PA Wire/Press Association Images/AP

 

TIME technology

Attaching a GoPro Camera to a Car Wheel Creates a Weird, Futuristic Kaleidoscope

Warning: you may feel a bit dizzy

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The small, waterproof camera known as a GoPro can capture everything from a face-to-face encounter with a shark to the experience of getting robbed at gunpoint. But it can also capture some seemingly mundane situations in unexpectedly beautiful ways, too.

Take, for example, this University of Wisconsin student who decided to mount a GoPro to the wheel of his car using duct tape. The result? One oddly hypnotic little trip of a video.

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