TIME Music

Hear Two Gorgeous Unreleased Adele Songs to Hold You Over Until Her New Album

The BRIT Awards 2012 - Arrivals
Adele attends the BRIT Awards 2012 at 02 Arena on February 21, 2012 in London, England. Fred Duval—FilmMagic / Getty Images

They were originally recorded for her 2010 album 21

Great news, everyone: you can take a quick break from cry-singing “Someone Like You” into a mug of chardonnay, desperately waiting for Adele’s rumored new album, and instead listen to these two previously unheard tracks.

These songs, called “You’ll Never See Me Again” and “Never Gonna Leave You,” were allegedly recorded during the songbird’s sessions with producer Fraser T Smith for her 2010 album 21. They surfaced online for the first time this weekend, and they’re classic Adele: soulful, a bit sad, and probably about a man. Oh, and obviously, they’re both totally gorgeous.

Here’s “You’ll Never See Me Again”:

And “Never Gonna Leave You”:

In the meantime, fans will just have to keep waiting for something other than a vague hint about the songstress’s next album. Come on, Adele. It’s getting dire.

TIME viral

Dad Makes Hilariously Passive-Aggressive Instructional Video to Get His Kids to Do Chores

This one explains the difficult art of changing a toilet paper roll

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Fed up with the fact that his kids won’t help with household chores, this dad has created what he calls the “first in a series of instructional videos for my kids.” It’s an incredibly passive-aggressive parenting technique, and the result is hilarious.

“Obviously me telling them face to face is not working,” he explains in the video, “so I’ve tried to be creative and I’ve come up with the idea of using social media to try and reach you.” Then he proceeds with a very precise step-by-step guide to changing a toilet paper roll in the bathroom.

We’re excited to see what he comes up with next — perhaps a meticulous explanation of how one takes out the trash?

TIME viral

Cat and Toddler Team Up to Take on a Laser Pointer

They're so convinced they're eventually going to catch it

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This video shows a black cat desperately trying to pounce on the elusive red dot of a laser pointer, with a toddler joining in to assist with the task. The cat is named Muon and is one year old, and the child, Phineas, is two and a half, the poster explains. He adds that they “are on the same wavelength.”

The pair are so, so convinced that the dot is a real, physical being, and sadly, the video cuts off before they come to the realization that it’s not. Maybe a video of their shared existential crisis could be a good follow-up.

TIME viral

We Hope to One Day Be as Young, Wild and Free as This Chihuahua Enjoying a Neck Massage

Looks like somebody got a head-start on Labor Day Weekend

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What’s this? Oh, you know, just a chihuahua making great use of a neck massager. This right here is some next-level relaxation.

 

TIME Internet

All Your Favorite Pop Songs, Rewritten as Brilliant Shakespearean Sonnets

Thanks to a new Tumblr called Pop Sonnets

In the perfect blend of high-brow and low-brow, a delightful new Tumblr is taking Top 40 hits and rewriting them as sonnets. Everything is fair game, from current chart-toppers (like “Problem” by Ariana Grande and “Rude” by Magic!) to old favorites (like “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi and “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees).

Ever wonder what Taylor Swift and Beyoncé would sound like in iambic pentameter? We hadn’t either, but now we can’t get enough.

Here are some of our favorites:

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Read more of these brilliant sonnets on Tumblr.

TIME celebrity

Bruce Springsteen Is Writing a Children’s Book

US singer Bruce Springsteen and The E St
US singer Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band perform, on May 17, 2012 at Palau Sant Jordi in Barcelona. LLUIS GENE—AFP/Getty Images

It's about a bank-robbing baby, based on his song 'Outlaw Pete'

Well, friends, it looks like the Boss is officially getting into the publishing game. He’s working on a book called Outlaw Pete, inspired by his 2009 song of the same name, the New York Times reports.

Simon & Schuster, which is publishing the book, is touting it as a “a picture book for adults” that can also be read to children. (We’re pretty sure this actually means it’s a children’s book that can also be enjoyed by adults, but okay.)

“It’s a book for anybody who loves a good Western,” Simon & Schuster president Jonathan Karp told the Times Thursday.

“Outlaw Pete,” from Springsteen’s 2009 album Working on a Dream, is an eight-minute track outlining the story of a bank-robbing baby. The book will pair Springsteen’s words with the illustrations of cartoonist Frank Caruso. It hits shelves November 4. Our hearts are already hungry for it.

TIME celebrity

Watch Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert Sing a Hilarious Song Together (20 Years Ago)

Back during their days at Chicago's Second City

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This video, unearthed by Splitsider, features a young Steve Carell and an even younger Stephen Colbert performing together back in 1993 at Chicago’s famed Second City comedy club. (They’re joined by fellow funnymen Paul Dinello and David Razowsky, but obviously those guys are a lot less famous.)

This clip, which features the performers singing a little ditty called “The Obvious Song,” was part of a show called Take Me Out to the Balkans. Man, look at Steve ‘n Stephen — they’re just babies here. Kids really do grow up so fast, don’t they?

TIME Food & Drink

Here’s How Ice Cream Will Look—and Taste—in the Future

Brace yourself for edible shells and 3-D printing.

As the old saying goes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? Well, we’re pretty sure that doesn’t apply to ice cream. It’s already, by many accounts, the perfect food, so it certainly doesn’t need “fixing” per se, but we’re completely open to the idea that it could be made even better.

Here, a look at three current projects that are shaking up the ice cream world — and potentially altering the future of everybody’s favorite frozen treat.

  • Ice cream that’s been 3D printed

    When faced with an assignment to develop a new and innovative technology in 3D-printing, a group of MIT students decided to think a bit differently from their classmates.

    “Everyone else was printing composites and resins and none of that was very tasty,” says Kyle Hounsell, now a recent MIT graduate, who teamed with fellow students to think of some edible options for the project. Eventually, he and fellow students Donghyun Kim and Kristine Bunker decided they’d try to 3D-print ice cream — and it ended up working.

    The team took an ordinary off-the-shelf soft-serve ice cream machine and then attached it to a Solidoodle 3D printer.

    “The technology is called fused deposition modeling,” Hounsell explains. “Basically what you do is you put down the first layer of whatever you’re doing, be it plastic or ice cream or chocolate. You extrude your first layer from this nozzle — it’s sort of like if you had a hot glue gun and you put it down on a table and made a ring, and by the time you got around to the start, you’d move the head up a little bit and go around again. And the first ring you printed has solidified, so it’s more structurally stable, but when you go back around, you extrude new stuff which melts to it and becomes part of it.”

    That’s the process you’ll see in the video above. You might notice that the ice cream looks a bit runny, but that’s only because the team had to keep the machine’s door open to capture the video. To make sure the ice cream solidified, the students added a nozzle to sprays liquid nitrogen onto the freshly-printed layers.

    The next step, Hounsell says, is to file a patent and figure out what the future of 3D printed ice cream could hold.

    “Novelty would be a strong factor. I feel like you could just plop one of these down in a Target or something in a glass-walled freezer and sit there and watch,” he says. “Watching 3D printers work is mesmerizing. At least to me.”

  • Ice cream that’s made to order with liquid nitrogen

    A boy observes Smitten Ice Cream's Brrr machine in action. Toni Gauthier / Toni Bird Photography

    In the heart of San Francisco sits Smitten Ice Cream, where every batch of ice cream is made to order, on the spot, using a high-tech machine called Brrr. This apparatus, which took years to develop and patent, produces what Vogue called “arguably the freshest, if not the best, ice cream on earth.”

    The key ingredient? Liquid nitrogen.

    “The gist is that the faster you freeze ice cream, the smaller the ice crystals can be, and the smaller the ice crystals, the smoother the texture,” Smitten founder Robyn Sue Fisher says. “To freeze really fast, you freeze really cold. So liquid nitrogen, being negative 321 degrees Fahrenheit, really fits that bill.”

    Making ice cream this way means you can produce smooth, dense, tasty ice cream — and it also means you can cut out emulsifiers, preservatives and stabilizers, instead using fresh, local ingredients.

    “The whole impetus of me starting the company is just that I was getting kind of of grossed out by looking at the back of ice cream cartons and realizing how many ingredients were in the product that I couldn’t even pronounce,” Fisher says.

    Fisher admits that making ice cream with liquid nitrogen is nothing new — but other ice cream shops tend to do this with a basic kitchen mixer, and without a carefully engineered machine, it’s difficult to get the right texture every time. Plus, customers get to watch the machine in action as it churns their ice cream in a whirring, cloudy haze.

    For now, Smitten has four locations around the Bay Area. While Fisher doesn’t have plans to take over the world, if this ice cream is truly as delicious and fresh as it looks, you never know.

  • Ice cream served inside an edible shell

    WikiPearl ice cream balls WikiFoods

    These golf ball-sized ice cream spheres are designed to be easy to eat, but they’ve also got an eco-friendly purpose: eliminating wasteful food packaging. They’re called WikiPearls and they were developed by Harvard biomedical engineering professor David Edwards, who was inspired by foods like grapes and coconuts that essentially come with built-in packaging.

    But of course, this is still ice cream we’re talking about — so taste is a priority.

    “For a new food form to be really successful, it has to be really good and give benefits that people are looking for in food,” Edwards says. “So the packaging is a great thing but from a consumer point of view, it just needs to be really great.”

    The edible skins are made of natural food particles that are bound together with nutritive ions to form a soft skin that keeps the ice cream inside cold for several hours. You can throw them inside a Thermos and carry them with you throughout the day, popping them into your mouth when you need a snack. (Portion control, anyone?)

    For now, WikiPearls are sold at a little shop in Paris, but Edwards says they’ll soon be available in the U.S. at Cafe ArtScience opening in September in Cambridge, Mass. Flavors are fairly standard (mango ice cream with coconut skin, chocolate ice cream with hazelnut skin) but Edwards says some more eccentric flavors — like foie gras ice cream with an onion skin — are coming this fall.

    Frozen yogurt in WikiPearl form exists too, if you’re into that sort of thing. They’re a bit smaller — about the size of a grape — and can be found at a few Whole Foods locations around New England. (As we all know, though, frozen yogurt is great, but it can’t really replace the true star of the show.)

    While Edwards hopes that WikiPearls will one day be the new normal of ice cream, he’s also got plans to expand this technology into other culinary realms. He’s already created versions including cheese, fruits and vegetables — and while we’re not sure how receptive consumers will be to those, we do think the ice cream balls could be a hit.

TIME Music

Watch Grimes’ Totally Insane Video for ‘Go,’ Inspired by Dante’s ‘Inferno’

The electro-pop artist takes you through her personal circles of Hell

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Canadian producer and electro-pop singer Grimes, born Claire Boucher, originally wrote the song “Go” for Rihanna — but it was turned down. Though RiRi probably would have taken it and made it awesome, the way things turned out is just fine. Grimes and collaborator Blood Diamonds decided to claim the track for themselves, releasing it in June. In her hands, the track features screams and drops and echoes; it’s dreamy and it’s weird and works wonderfully.

Now, the song has a video to go with it, it’s completely nuts. Like, next-level crazy — and we mean that in a good way.

The video, co-directed by Grimes and her brother Mac, was inspired by Dante’s Inferno, as she explains on her Tumblr. The different scenes represent a contemporary take on Dante’s infamous circles of Hell. (The EDM clubbing scenes really nail it, because really, what’s more hellish than that?)

Visually, Grimes explains, the video also takes cues from X-Men, Metal Gear and Dune. You’ll also note some pretty clear Game of Thrones influence, along with dancing mimes, epic treks through sand dunes, flashing lights, fish-eye shots, and even some throwback Adidas flip-flops. Yep: this video is nuts. Watch up top.

 

 

TIME animals

This Lamb Bouncing Gleefully Down a Hallway Will Remind You That Everything’s Gonna Be Okay

And also that baby lambs are so, so cute

Forget about your problems for a moment, and look at this lamb who comes hopping down a hallway when you call his name:

His name is Winter and Vine user Life of Shannen explains: “He was found weak from the cold and so we took him in to care for him.” Looks like he’s doing just fine now. Here he is being extra bouncy:

Oh man. This is almost as good as that llama who pranced to DMX. Almost.

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