TIME Television

Bachelor in Paradise RECAP: Love and Other Demons

Francisco Roman—ABC

Trouble in paradise (again)

Welcome back to The Bachelor’s version of paradise, where love means always looking over your shoulder for something better. Last week, Clare left in a huff (maybe a minute and a huff) leaving Zack to give his rose to Jackie. Meanwhile Jesse got to juggle Christy, the nice-ish girl, and Lucy, the free spirit and ended up choosing both (nudge nudge, wink wink), but ultimately gave a rose to Christy. Also, Lacy had to go to the hospital after puking at the very thought of AshLee. It’s what passes for drama on this show.

Here’s what happened on Bachelor in Paradise:

Trouble in Paradise: Cody gave Michelle his rose, but he also gave her a serious wig-out by telling her that he loves her after they spent 24 hours together. He told her that his next girlfriend will be his wife, and Michelle is just not that into him. She decides to seek counsel from the bed-hopping puka-shell necklace, Jesse, who reminds her that she’s just supposed to be there to have fun. Speaking of fun, Cody thinks bench-pressing rocks on the beach is a blast.

Marcus and Lacy: Marcus has said the L word, but Lacy has not yet reciprocated. So the producers send them to recreate The Descent. There Lacy murders not Marcus, but the words stalactites and stalagmites, which she apparently has never heard before. Then she and Marcus swim through a cave and are attacked by bats. It’s very romantic. They face their fears together, and Lacy points out that “it’s so natural, in nature” and then they make out.

The New Kid on the Block: Brooks, who dumped Bachelorette Desiree in one of the most awkward breakups in Bachelor history, which is saying something, shows up on the beach with a date card in hand. Since everyone is paired up at this point, it’s a bit problematic. Robert and Zack pull Brooks aside to give him the rundown and Robert says straight out, “If you invite Sarah out, I will kill you.” So Brooks asks out Zack’s ostensible partner Jackie instead, and Zack really regrets not marking his territory better.

(MORE: The Bachelor Picks Its New Star: Chris Soules)

Jackie and Brooks: The new couple heads to dinner at a restaurant in Tulum and midway through the meal, Brooks admits that he can’t actually be bothered to listen to Jackie talk, because she’s so darn cute. Then she beats him at foosball and his love for her is complete.

Robert and Sarah: While Sarah was having fun making out with Robert, when Brooks shows up, she admits that she actually came on the show to hang out with Brooks. She mulls dumping Robert for Brooks, but then comes to her darn senses. Robert invites her for a chat on the beach and tells her that when they get back to the real world, he wants to go on dates and explore their relationship and be a real couple.

Cody and Michelle: Michelle whacks Cody on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper and tells him to dial it down and he does. His willingness to be trained like a puppy makes Michelle like him more, and she’s in so long as he doesn’t piddle in excitement every time she walks in the room. Well, maybe a little.

Christy and Jesse: Christy finally realizes that Jesse is not just a tool, but the entire tool box. Michelle tells her that Jesse is spreading the news that he hooked up with both her and Lucy last week. Turns out that Christy knows the word misogynist and sleaze ball.

New Arrival: Tasos, who was cast aside by Andi Dorfman, arrives on the scene to sew some seeds of discord in paradise. He pulls Michelle aside, and Cody looks like he will eat Tasos like a taco if he asks her on a date. Instead, Tasos tells Michelle that she can’t go wrong with Cody and asks her advice on who to ask out. She wisely suggests Christy, who happily hops on the Tasos bus and rides far far away from Jesse.

Tasos and Christy: Tasos rides in like a white knight rescuing Christy from the walking disease vector that is Jesse. They take a boat ride to a private dock and Tasos manages not to stare at her remarkable sunburn and instead chivalrously asks for permission to kiss her and sweetly holds her hands. Jesse doesn’t stand a chance.

Zack and Jackie: Zack finally gets a date card and takes the opportunity to pick up Brooks’ sloppy seconds, which are sort of Zack’s sloppy seconds. Here’s a diagram. For their date, they go swimming in a cave, and Zack hopes things get “romantically.” To help that along, he pretends that he wasn’t in a relationship with Clare up until a few days ago and calls Jackie a “breath of fresh air.” Then they kiss.

The Cocktail Party: Zack sucks up to Jackie. Brooks sucks up to Jackie. AshLee sucks up to everyone else. Jesse sees the writing on the wall, but has no choice but to try and manipulate Christy, who he calls a “dumb blond.” He decides that he’s leaving, blaming Christy for not “opening up to him,” and telling the men “I’ve done everything I came here to accomplish.” Michelle and Lacy give Christy some tough love and hard truths and back her up when she goes to wreak her vengeance on the man. They surround Jesse’s getaway vehicle and talk his ear off until he slinks off in an equal mix of relief and arrogance. When Christy returns to the Rose Ceremony hut, Tasos fetches her a drink.

The Rose Ceremony: Lacy hands her rose to Marcus. AshLee gives hers to Graham. Sarah happily pins hers on Robert. Michelle plants her rose on Cody. Christy happily calls out Tasos’ name. Jackie decides to pass on Brooks and gives Zack her rose.

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Chris Harrison announces that this was the final Rose Ceremony of the season and next week everything will change. One can only hope that next week will be some sort of Sharknado crossover where everyone is eaten in a storm of flying sharks.

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TIME viral

Little Boy Finds The Idea of His Mom Being Pregnant Simply “Exasperating” in Adorable Video

"What were you thinking?!"

Typically when parents break the news to their children that they are going to be big brothers or sisters, it goes over really well or really badly.

A mother named Shanee Gibson Hart of Fort Lewis, Washington, posted a video on Facebook and YouTube describing the moment she told her son Tré and daughter that they are going to have a new sibling, and the news sends her son off on a tirade that would make Gordon Ramsey blush.

“What were you thinking?!” he wails. “It’s too much! This makes no sense!”

Turns out that the kid is not preaching from a replacement level fertility platform, it’s just that he’s really worried his mom and dad will replace him. “You have two babies! You keep loving them forever not having another baby!” Tré yells from the back seat. His mother assures him that his parents will love him and his little sister forever, which temporarily calms the kid.

The détente is broken, though, when his mother points out that his baby sister looks happy about the news and the boy realizes he has a very important question to ask: Pointing his finger at his mom, he demands to know, “What kind of baby is it?”

His mother patiently talks him down, and the boy finally concedes that the baby can exist, but only on one condition: “Buy me some earplugs.”

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TIME Television

Friends Celebrates 20 Years With A Central Perk Pop Up Shop

NBC/Getty Images Pictured: (l-r) Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing, Courteney Cox as Monica Geller-Bing, David Schwimmer as Dr. Ross Geller in Friends.

Even Gunther will be on hand for the event

No one told us life was going to be this way! One day you’re watching your new favorite TV show about a group of affable twentysomethings who live, love and host some memorable meals in some seriously valuable real estate in Manhattan, and the next thing you know, 20 years have passed.

Friends is about to celebrate the 20th anniversary of when Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Chandler or Joey joined the primetime line-up — and to help mark the occasion, a replica of the friends’ favorite hangout, Central Perk, will pop up in Manhattan.

From September 17 to October 18, fans can pay homage to Friends while hanging around the Central Perk coffee bar (located at 199 Lafayette Street in Manhattan’s SoHo neighborhood), perhaps while sipping on a special Central Perk Roast from Eight O’Clock Coffee, who is sponsoring the shop in collaboration with Warner Bros.

To document fans’ trips down memory lane, Central Perk will be chock-full of selfie opportunities, including the actual orange couch from the show and the iconic Central Perk storefront. While there’s little chance that Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, Chandler or Joey will be hanging around (or working) at the shop, actor James Michael Taylor, who played grouchy waiter Gunther on the series will be on hand — not to serve, but to sip coffee alongside fans.

No trip to Central Perk would be complete without suffering through a set of Phoebe’s songs, so the shop will feature acts who are hopefully better than Phoebe, but will still sing at least one round of her sole hit, “Smelly Cat”:

This isn’t the first time there has been a Central Perk pop-up — back in 2009, there the coffee shop popped up in London to celebrate the 15th anniversary of Friends— but this is the only one in the States. So fans should either book a ticket to NYC now, or just drink coffee in the living room and watch Friends re-runs.

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TIME Food & Drink

All-Nutella Restaurant Coming to New York City

Deb Lindsey for The Washington Post—Getty Images

Sweet idea!

Attention Nutella fans: Book a ticket to Brooklyn and pack the pants with the stretchiest waistbands, because an all-Nutella restaurant is opening in Park Slope, Grub Street reports.

The menu for the soon-to-open aptly-named restaurant Nutelleria is filled with chocolate-nut spread-filled delights, including breakfast pizzas, crepes, croissants and a bacon-banana-Nutella waffle sandwich, that should give Mario Batali and Dominique Ansel a run for his money (unless they team up to serve Nutella-filled Cronuts).

The exact opening day for the restaurant run by self-described “Nutella enthusiasts” is still to be determined, but buzz is already building around the chocoholic’s dream spot, who may already be eying opening an additional location in Miami.

While Nutella freaks worldwide love the concept, Ferrero, the Italian company that makes Nutella, may not be a fan. In the past, the company has sent cease and desist letters to Nutella visionaries around the world, including Boloco, a New England chain that sold a Nutella-yogurt shake on the grounds that they “don’t endorse the use of Nutella or the Nutella brand in frozen beverages,” as well as the creator of World Nutella Day. Plus, the company has its own Nutella bar set up across the East River in Eataly and may not take a shine to the competition, even though there’s probably more than enough Nutella love to go around.

Don’t worry, there are always these Nutella alternatives.

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TIME viral

David Lynch Plays Trumpet in Ice Bucket Challenge, Nominates Putin

Exactly what you'd expect from the director

As the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge makes its way around the globe, it was only a matter of time until it eventually came around to director David Lynch. Naturally, the man who brought us Blue Velvet, Eraserhead and Elephant Man interpreted the fundraising and awareness-raising exercise in a very David Lynchian way.

Challenged by Laura Dern (who starred in his film Wild at Heart) to dump iced coffee over his head, the director dumped a double shot of espresso into a bucket of ice water and proceeded to play “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” on the trumpet until someone drenched him with the jumbo iced Americano. It was an odd cinematic moment that still managed to makes more sense than Mulholland Drive.

Lynch made the video a two-for-one deal, as he was also nominated for the stunt by The Leftovers star Justin Theroux. Still soaking from the original dousing, Lynch had another bucket dumped on him, disappointingly with just plain old ice water.

As water dripped down his face, Lynch passed the nomination forward. To Vladimir Putin.

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TIME animals

Happy 29th Birthday to What Is Believed to Be The Oldest Wombat in Captivity

He may be "the oldest living wombat virgin" as well

Patrick, the oldest wombat in captivity, according to Ballarat Wildlife Park, turned the ripe old age of 29 on August 25.

His longevity is not the norm. In the wild, wombats tend to live only five years, while those in captivity average a lifespan of around 20 years.

Patrick — who was named the “3rd best city mascot” by CNN — is an Australian legend who has been greeting visitors to the wildlife park for decades. He was hand-raised by zookeepers after he was orphaned as a joey, as marsupial babies are called. According to Tourism Australia, “the team at the park tried releasing Patrick back into the wild a couple of times but he couldn’t defend himself against other wombats.”

The plus-sized Common Wombat may also be the world’s largest, tipping the scale at 88 lbs (40kg). He’s so big that Ballarat Wildlife Park curator Julia Leonard used to push the lovable wombat around in a wheelbarrow just “to keep a check on what is going on,” according to the organization’s website. He’s now been retired from active park duty, preferring to hang (and eat) in his pen.

Oldest and largest aren’t the only titles that Patrick has earned during his long life. According to Australia.com’s Facebook post, he may have earned another slightly more ignominious title as well. “Given that Patrick has never had children, or any partners in general, probably makes him the oldest living wombat virgin as well!,” said the post. “Congrats mate!”

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TIME Television

The Bachelor Picks Its New Star: Chris Soules

Chris Soules was on the tenth edition of "The Bachelorette"
Craig Sjodin—ABC Chris Soules was on the tenth edition of "The Bachelorette"

Farmer seeks a wife

Farmer Chris Soules has been named the new star of The Bachelor.

The fan favorite contestant from The Bachelorette — who won the audience’s heart, if not Andi Dorfman’s — was long considered the frontrunner for The Bachelor, but it took weeks for ABC to make the announcement on Good Morning America Wednesday morning.

The ABC reality mainstay broke with the tradition of naming the new star during the After the Final Rose episode that marks the end of each season. While Soules sat in the audience of the show and host Chris Harrison readily admitted that he was in the running to be the new Bachelor, he refrained from naming him as the new star. What followed were weeks of speculation that the show wanted to vet runner-up Nick Viall, former contestant Arie Luyendyk, Jr., (who laid out his case on TIME.com), or someone else entirely to take the helm of The Bachelor.

In the end, though, the show opted for Soules, the 32-year old football-loving farmer who had impressed viewers with his wholesome charms, romantic gestures and all-American good looks. Perhaps more importantly, Soules is the antithesis of former contestant Juan Pablo Galavis, who was poorly received by Bachelor Nation, who saw him as rude, arrogant and only interested in hitting the Fantasy Suite with as many women as possible.

While the official announcement was made with great fanfare on GMA, it was Luyendyk who broke the news. “I’m not the Bachelor,” Luyendyk tweeted late Tuesday, in what seemed like a fit of sour grapes. “Have fun on the farm people.”

With Soules confirmed for the job, the network now turns to the task of finding contestants ready, willing and able to move to Soules’s tiny hometown of Arlington, Iowa, population 427, and take up the job of being a farmer’s wife. Fans of The Bachelorette know that Soules’s mother has already offered to babysit future grandchildren, so the prospect of low cost child care may tempt some women into applying. ABC will also have to work to avoid comparisons to short-lived CW reality show Farmer Wants A Wife, which featured eight women vying for the affections of a strapping bachelor farmer. Soules starts on his personal journey to find love with Dorfman’s seal of approval. “I mean, look at him,” she told People. “Chris has the whole package. He is the all-American guy who is a farmer who does not look like a farmer, but he’s also successful and he’s ready for a family. He’s going to be a great husband and a great father.”

Contestants on The Bachelor won’t just have to compete with each other for Soules’s attention, though. As an Iowa celebrity, Soules already has politicians cozying up to him. Texas Governor and presidential hopeful Rick Perry tweeted about meeting the friendly farmer at the Iowa State Fair.

MORE: RECAP: Bachelor In Paradise: Rose Ceremony, Interrupted

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The original version of this story misstated the name of The Bachelor‘s host. It is Chris Harrison, not Chris Harrington.

TIME Television

RECAP: Bachelor in Paradise: Twosomes, Threesomes and a Trip to the Hospital

Francisco Roman—ABC

A surprise departure, careful use of night-vision cameras, and several panic attacks make for an eventful episode

Welcome back to Bachelor in Paradise. Last night, the Rose Ceremony was interrupted when Graham had to take a moment midceremony, because all the drama was getting to him and his sensitive disposition. Read the full recap here, but the TL;DR version is that Michelle clued Graham in to the details of AshLee’s behavior, and Graham couldn’t simultaneously process the fact that his lady seems to be one bunny short of being a bunny boiler and accept AshLee’s proffered rose. He ran from the room and Michelle chased after him before the show cut to black.

Here’s what happened on Bachelor in Paradise:

Rose Ceremony Continued: Graham is having a massive panic attack at the thought of spending eternity with AshLee. Michelle chases him down, gets him a glass of water and finds a medic to check him out. AshLee, who is ostensibly Graham’s chosen partner, just stood there holding her rose and smoothing her hair until Graham was done sweating and breathing heavily and was ready to accept his rose/fate. He pulls himself together, swallows his pride and doubts, and accepts the rose, because he doesn’t want to go home.

New Drama: The second he takes the rose, Lacy feels sick to her stomach. She runs off set to puke and can’t stop throwing up at the thought of anyone spending a lifetime with AshLee, so an ambulance takes her to the hospital. Marcus rides along in the ambulance with the rose still pinned to his shirt and then lies in bed with her while she gets an IV for dehydration. Jeez, girl, it’s not like you’re dating AshLee.

Rose Ceremony Continued (Again): As Lacy recuperates in the hospital, the producers callously finish the rose ceremony without her. Michelle gives the rose to Cody. Sarah gives hers to Robert. Kalon can’t wait to go to the hotel and order room service. Finally, it’s down to Jacki, who has to choose between Marquel and Jesse. She chooses Jesse for some reason, meaning Marquel has to go home and drown his sorrows in a plate of black-and-white cookies and Marcel Marceau films.

New Blood: The next morning, Juan Pablo cast-off Christy arrives in “paradise” with a date card in hand and no idea whom to ask out. Sarah, who knows her from The Bachelor, pulls her aside and breaks the news that everyone is already taken. Christy shrugs and goes to ask Zack out. He tells her no, because he and Clare have a thing. Plus, Clare is a little scary.

Christy and Jesse: After getting negged by Zack, Christy invites Jesse out and he says yes. For their romantic date, the new couple wander the streets of a colonial town, eat some Mexican chocolate (not a euphemism), chug some tequila and drink beer in the streets. Christy asks him if he feels obligated to Jackie since she gave him a rose yesterday, but he doesn’t. Christy’s d-bag detector is defective, so when she tells Jesse a story about finding another woman’s bra in her ex’s bed and Jesse laughs, because he’s totally been there, she doesn’t think much of it. Instead she gets drunk and makes out with him.

Sarah and Robert: Sarah gets a date card and invites Robert out for the evening. While Sarah and Robert have been canoodling for a few dates now, they haven’t actually kissed. Sarah is terrified that Robert won’t make a move on her, even in the most romantic setting. So she sits on his lap in the swimming pool. That worked.

Cody and Michelle: Cody is not good at playing it cool, so he flat out tells Michelle that he’s “100% into her” and that it’s her or no one. She smiles and nods, because it’s all happening so fast and even she doesn’t know how she ended up kissing a man wearing a tiny tank top and Tintin’s hair.

Zack and Clare: Zack finally confesses to Clare that he usually takes relationships much slower, which sounds innocuous and honest, but she takes extremely personally. She excuses herself from the conversation and runs into the jungle to talk to her spirit animal — the mangy raccoon she talked to last time she was freaking out. While the camera doesn’t capture her meltdown, the microphone does and it’s a bit painful to hear her sobbing in the jungle about how it’s all too much for her. As Clare packs her bags to leave, the camera cuts to a night-vision shot of Zack sleeping in his bunk. The wacky music starts up as she pulls Zack out of bed and tells him that she’s going. He’s dazed and confused, but says good-bye. Seriously, though, they were together for five days and Clare’s had at least three freakouts. That would be a long life together.

New Addition: Lucy, the bona fide free spirit that flitted about Juan Pablo’s season, arrives in paradise and immediately takes off all her clothes. As you do when you’re a free spirit.

Lucy and Jesse: Lucy invites Jesse out, even though Christy just made out with him and she is supposedly her “best friend” on the show, if not in real life. Jesse doesn’t mind, because Lucy is beautiful and prone to taking all her clothes off, which are the main things he looks for in a woman. They tour some ruins, order beers in Spanish and make out all over the place, but pretend they didn’t.

Michelle and Cody: Michelle gets a date card and invites Cody for a night out on the town. Their date is straight out of The Bachelor playbook — a trip to a hotel for an engagement photo shoot. As Cody whispers sweet nothings about spending an eternity with her, Michelle starts freaking out. That’s when the sadistic producers spring a wedding dress on her, you know, just to try on for the photo shoot for funsies. She almost has a panic attack, but then pulls herself together and plots her revenge on the evil producers — she dives into the ocean in the wedding dress and shout, “This isn’t real!” to every stranger who passes by.

AshLee and Graham: AshLee finally gets a date card and she invites Graham, who claims that “things are going really well” with her even though he just had a panic attack at the thought of staying with her. They head out for a traditional Mexican date — a trip to a track to race Ferraris. AshLee won’t go over 40 miles an hour, which leads Graham to proudly pronounce, “AshLee proved to me tonight that she is ready for a minivan.”

Best Tantrum: Christy pouts that there is so much alcohol in the house and no one will drink it and it makes her mad.

Jesse and Christy and Lucy: After Jesse gets back from his date with Lucy, he feeds Christy some line about not hooking up with Lucy and Christy believes it (see line above about her broken d-bag detector). They drunkenly make out under the watchful eye of the night-vision camera and then they are joined by a certain free spirit. Lucy does know this is all televised, right?

Cocktail Party: Lacy and Marcus, Sarah and Robert, Graham and AshLee, and Michelle and Cody are already coupled up, leaving Zack and Jesse to hand out roses. At the cocktail party, Jackie wisely hones in on Zack, leaving Lucy and Christy to battle it out for the “prize” that is Jesse.

Rose Ceremony: The male half of the couples all hand roses to their respective counterparts. Marcus uses the quotidian ritual of a rose ceremony to tell Lacy how much he loves her. Then they make out while everyone awkwardly watches and Chris Harrison tactfully averts his eyes. Zack gives his rose to Jackie, because she is the least crazy option available. It comes down to Jesse and after an appropriately tense time span, he hands the rose to Christy. Lucy heads home with a chip on her shoulder and dire predictions for the longevity of Christy’s and Jesse’s “relationship.”

Best Reason to Come Back Next Week: Maybe the raccoon will replace Chris Harrison as the show’s host?

MORE: RECAP: Bachelor in Paradise: Rose Ceremony, Interrupted

MORE: A Former Contestant Might Have Just Revealed ABC’s Next Bachelor

TIME animals

Lil Bub Stars in a Summer Version of the Yule Log

It's like Christmas in August

In the dog days of summer, everyone is headed to the beach — including cat video stars.

If you’re stuck at home, or worse, in a cubicle, then consider watching a summer version of the Christmas Yule Log, featuring Lil Bub sitting on a towel on the beach, purring and snoozing in the sun. Her unique appearance is the result of a bone condition.

Fix yourself a pina colada, crank up the fans and start your streaming to experience a beach vacation without springing for two tickets to paradise.

MORE: Of Course There’s a Cat Version of the Yule Log

TIME Family

It Took 9 Months to Make This Vine

A pregnancy in six seconds

There’s nothing as awe-inspiring as the creation of life — except for maybe this man’s dedication to creating this Vine.

Filmed over nine months, the mini-video documents a pregnancy from barely showing to baby toting. It’s Vine user Ian Padgham’s (@origiful) modern take on the staid old tradition of the pregnancy photo.

Padgham,whose day job involves making time-lapse clips on the social site for various brands, used his professional skill set to film his wife, Claire Pasquier, over the course of the nine months of her pregnancy. He captured her physical transformation in a six-second-long looping clip, shooting to frames at a time over nine months.

It’s a cool homage to family, life and technology, that has become one of the most viewed Vines of all time, with more than 12 million views so far.

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