TIME Television

The Mysterious Allure of Finding Bigfoot

Animal Planet
Luis Ascui—Luis Ascui/Animal Planet

Finding Bigfoot returns to Animal Planet on Sunday, June 8 at 9p.m.

‘They’re so freakin’ elusive it drives me nuts, man,” declared Bigfoot researcher James “Bobo” Fay way back in season two of Animal Planet’s Finding Bigfoot. The show returns for its fifth season on Sunday, and while Bigfoot remains elusive, it has not dampened the show’s love of the chase.

For the most part, each episode of the show plays out in a set formula: The team, led by Bigfoot Field Research Organization (BFRO) president Matt Moneymaker, receives a compelling piece of evidence — usually a blurry video or a grainy photograph — that sends them scurrying off to rusticate in a remote corner of the woods.

Alongside skeptical scientist Ranae Holland, the intrepid crew of investigators —Moneymaker, Bobo Fay and Cliff Barackman — usually speak to whoever captured the evidence and then use the witness’s testimony, local lore gathered at a town hall meeting and some historical reenactment to evaluate the clues, which they mark on their evidence map. It’s neither particularly rigorous nor especially scientific, but it’s usually enough to send the team into the wood at night armed with audio equipment, night vision cameras and years of Bigfoot research experience between them (Moneymaker alone claims to have 25 years of Bigfoot hunting under his belt) to try and have their own ‘Squatch encounter.

Over the last four seasons, they’ve taken their investigations into the Bigfoot phenomenon across the United States — from the woods of Oregon and Idaho to a “nest” found in the Arizona desert, and even to upstate New York, where they looked into claims of a baby Sasquatch living within an hour from the Empire State Building.

Not content to rousting Bigfoot from the backwoods of the U.S., though, the investigators have made manifest the destiny of American documentary television and headed to Australia to look for “yowies,” searched for Indonesia’s “orang pendek”, Vietnam’s “wildman,” China’s “yeren,” and — naturally — flown to Nepal in search of the “yeti,” the American Sasquatch’s biggest competition, fame-wise.

At each destination, they set up camp and prep for the crux of their investigation— their time in the woods. Captured in the fuzzy black-and-green footage of night vision and infrared cameras, their research usually involves tromping through the woods with cameras strapped to their heads, Blair Witch-style, some determined mimicking of a Bigfoot’s calls (it sounds a lot like hollering), intense listening for breaking branches or giant footsteps, and a lot of knocking on wood. Sometimes they want to be as quiet as possible; other times, they create a spectacle (for example: a rave in the woods) to hopefully draw a crowd of ‘Squatches. They haven’t met one yet, but they have seen a lot of plus-sized footprints, broken branches and deer — which, as someone points out, is “prime Sasquatch food.” With carefully curated cuts to commercial breaks, creepy infrared photography, endearing attachment to strained scientific leaps, and unbridled exuberance for all things Bigfoot, the show makes for oddly compelling television, despite the elusive nature of the Sasquatch and its kin.

The show’s resident so-called ‘Squatch atheist, Holland, is a field biologist who was educated at the University of Washington. Holland is the show’s voice of reason, calmly stating on the show what non-believers are shouting at their television sets: A loud thump in the night, a dark blur in a photo and some broken branches does not a Sasquatch make. Her skeptical presence is what gives the show its gravitas, and saves it from drowning in a bog of untethered Bigfoot enthusiasm, or feeling like a tent revival for Yeti acolytes. That said, it’s clear that her time in the woods with Bobo has rubbed off, as on more than one occasion she breathlessly whispers into her walkie-talkie, “You guys see that?” She may not think it’s a Sasquatch, but like The X-Files‘s Agent Mulder before her, it’s clear that she wants to believe.

She’s not alone. By the end of each episode, viewers want to believe, too. It would be incredible to watch these burly men in their fleece jackets and khaki shorts tromp through the backwoods until they find Bigfoot. It would make for undeniably entertaining television.

It just hasn’t happened yet. But maybe next season.

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WATCH: Jimmy Kimmel Presents 50 Cent in “MaleFiftyCent”

Get witch or die tryin'

Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson is having a busy week.

Not only did he release his fifth studio album, but he also threw out a pitch at New York Mets/Pittsburgh Pirates game and made some interesting confessions in his Reddit AMA. But it appears that the rapper isn’t slowing down any time soon. Last night, he stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live to announce that he has a huge role in a new summer blockbuster and in his words, “This s–t just got magical.”

The film, MaleFiftyCent, looks vaguely familiar, as it should as it’s a parody of Angelina Jolie’s Maleficent, complete with 50 Cent rocking a horned hat and Elle Fanning co-starring as Princess Aurora. In the clip, the princess searches for her adversary, sweetly whispering, “Don’t be afraid.” But MaleFiftyCent rolls his eyes and proclaims, “I’ve been shot nine times. I’m not afraid of no little white girl!”

While 50 may not be giving Jolie any competition in the Oscars, he is confident the film will be a smash. As he says in his interview: “This one ain’t going to no Redbox!”

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MORE: 50 Cent Claims His Bad Pitch Was Due to an Injury From “Excessive Masturbation”

TIME viral

Cute Break: Watch This Baby Goat Give It All It’s Got

It's The Best

If you need a little inspiration to get you to the weekend, look no further than this baby goat.

It’s only a six-second clip, courtesy of YouTube user madebysam, but within those six seconds lies the cutest motivational video you will probably ever see. It’s like a Successory, but as anyone with an MBA knows, a baby goat with the drive to succeed is far more inspirational than a mug with a slogan on it.

In the video, the baby goat and her off-camera coach show that sometimes you just need some encouragement to push yourself to the limit, someone to inspire you to reach deep down inside of you and bring out your best.

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TIME Music

Interpol to Release El Pintor, Their First Album In Four Years

Eliot Lee Hazel

The rockers return with their first new album in four years

For rock fans of a certain ilk, the early 2000s revolved around three bands: there were The Strokes, The White Stripes and Interpol.

With their hits “Lights” and “Slow Hands,” Interpol was a major player in the aughts for those with an alternative bent and an ear for post-punk sounds. Now the band is preparing to release their first album in four years: El Pintor, the band’s fifth studio album, is due out on Matador on September 9th.

For the follow-up to their 2010 self-titled LP, the band — which is now a trio after the departure of bass player Carlos D (sorry, ladies!) — took on multi-instrumental responsibilities. Frontman Paul Banks provided vocals and played both guitar and bass on the album and Daniel Kesler played guitar and piano, while Samuel Fogarino was on drums.

To record the album at New York’s famed Electric Lady Studios and Atomic Studios, Interpol was joined by Brandon Curtis of The Secret Machines (another post-punk band that found fame in the early ’00s), Beck band member Roger Joseph Manning, Jr., and Rob Moose of Bon Iver, on strings.

Fans eager to hear the new material are in luck: Interpol is touring hard in support of their forthcoming release, with performances at Governors Ball, Lollapalooza, FYF Fest, Austin City Limits Festival, Glastonbury and Roskilde already confirmed. Don’t worry, fans of the recent past — the Strokes are back too, with dates at Governor’s Ball and more already on the books.

El Pintor tracklist:

1. All the Rage Back Home
2. My Desire
3. Anywhere
4. Same Town, New Story
5. My Blue Supreme
6. Everything is Wrong
7. Breaker 1
8. Ancient Ways
9. Tidal Wave
10. Twice as Hard


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TIME celebrities

50 Cent Claims His Bad Pitch Was Due to an Injury From “Excessive Masturbation”

"Noah" New York Premiere - Outside Arrivals
Rapper/actor 50 Cent attends the "Noah" New York Premiere at Ziegfeld Theatre on March 26, 2014 in New York City. Jim Spellman -- WireImage / Getty Images

P.I.M.P. is right

Last week, rapper Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson embarrassed himself by throwing an outrageously awful opening pitch during a game between the New York Mets and the Pittsburgh Pirates. While he initially laughed it off with the reasonable point that he’s a rapper, not a baller, apparently the bad pitch was still irking him and he wanted to give his public a more satisfying reason for his lackluster baseball skills.

Now, Jackson has come forward with another viable excuse for his poor performance: He has a “skeletal-muscle injury” on his left shoulder.

The cause for that injury, though, is potentially more embarrassing than his pitch. In a Reddit AMA, to promote his new album Animal Ambition, 50 Cent claimed that the bad pitch was due to ‘excessive masturbation.’

Screenshot From Reddit

There’s nothing more American than baseball, rap and “excessive masturbation” apparently. But with all that “excessive masturbation” when does he have time to hang out with his new friend Guy Fieri?

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TIME health

This Nurse Is Using Tinder to Remind Dudes to Get Prostate Exams

via Matchesformenshealth.com

Men's health outreach, Tinder style

“Nurse Nicole” sounds like every man’s fantasy: She’s young and beautiful, loves “dogs, warm weather, and spontaneous decisions,” and has that whole sexy nurse thing going for her. It’s no wonder that she’s been catching many suitors’ eyes and their eager right swipes on Tinder. But when the men match with Nurse Nicole, they realize she has a somewhat strange fixation on prostates. Specifically, getting young men to have annual prostate exams.

Nurse Nicole does not actually exist. Instead, her Tinder profile was set up as part of a health awareness campaign run by Matches for Men’s Health. When a Tinder match is made, Nurse Nicole responds to the sometimes salacious texts from suitors with pithy, health-related comebacks encouraging trips to the doctor for prostate exams, testicular cancer screenings and colonoscopies. If the men get too worked up, she will even suggest blood pressure monitoring.

It’s a clever campaign and it should be effective, but based on the text exchanges that appear on Matches for Men’s Health, it’s not clear that the men getting the health tips actually realize that when Nurse Nicole suggests a colonoscopy, she really means a colonoscopy.

[Via The Daily Dot]

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TIME celebrity

Watch Ryan Lewis Ask Macklemore Fans What They Think Of Ryan Lewis

Poor Ryan Lewis

Being a sidekick is tough. Just ask Robin, Barney Rubble, Art Garfunkel or, you know, Ryan Lewis.

After Drake trolled his fans at the behest of Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon sent Lewis out on the streets of New York City to ask Macklemore & Ryan Lewis fans what they think about Ryan Lewis. While Drake wore a wig and glasses when he prowled the sidewalks for unsuspecting fans, Lewis just dressed like himself and walked up to people. He even held up a photo of himself standing next to Macklemore and asked fans to point out Ryan Lewis in the picture and, still, no one recognized him. It’s also pretty clear that no one has any idea what Lewis does in the band.

The prank gets especially entertaining — and cringe inducing — when people finally figure out who it is they are talking to. Needless to say they won’t forget what Lewis looks like anytime soon.

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TIME Music

VIDEO: Watch Charli XCX’s The Fault In Our Stars Clip for “Boom Clap”

A summer earworm centered around a much-anticipated film

The Fault In Our Stars trailer has been taking over primetime television in advance of the highly-anticipated film’s release on June 6th — and soundtracking the clips of Shailene Woodley’s Hazel and Ansel Elgort’s Gus romance is an ebullient, emotional song that captures all the energy and ardor of young love. That song, “Boom Clap” by Charli XCX, nicely complements the heartstring-tugging story — and the new official video is likely to please fans eager for the film.

The clip plays like an extended preview, filled with more snapshots of Hazel’s and Gus’s love story. Filmed in Amsterdam, where much of the action in John Green’s bestselling book takes place, the video shows Charli exploring the same spots as featured in the film (ask your local tween for details) and then driving around in a disco-lit party bus for kicks.

The darkly peppy song should help Charli breakthrough as an artist in her own right. After second chairing on Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” and last year’s summer hit by Icona Pop “I Love It,” she’s ready for it.

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TIME Television

RECAP The Bachelorette Watch: Connecticut Yankees In Andi’s Court

...In which we say goodbye to Eric Hill

Welcome back to The Bachelorette. Tonight, the show is taking their sausage factory on the road. First stop? Connecticut, which is “very romantic” according to Andi, who has apparently never been anywhere else ever. On the plus side, Connecticut gets some A + marketing materials out of this appearance and someone in Hartford is undoubtedly re-writing their press releases to say “Come to Connecticut, as seen on The Bachelorette!”

Here’s what happened on The Bachelorette:

First Date: Dylan, the floppy-haired sad-eyed accountant, finally gets some alone time with Andi so he can tell her his tragic tale. He wears pleated jeans for the occasion. As Dylan waits for his moment, the sad music of sadness plays as Andi interviews that her date with Dylan has been fine, but she hopes he can open up a bit. Well, her mouth says “open up,” but her slightly panicked eyes say, “I hope he chills out before his head explodes all over my borrowed leather jacket.” At dinner she tells him that she wants to see “the real Dylan” now, not later. So he cries as he tells her the deeply sad story that he told Farmer Dan yesterday: his sister overdosed and his brother followed soon after, which is extremely sad, but if this is weighing so heavily on your mind that you’re crying on a televised first date, why are you on a dating show? Go home and grieve. As Andi cries along with him, he tells her that he doesn’t want her to feel bad for him. She’s touched that he was willing to open up to her. She gives him a rose, because how could she not?

The Worst: The one thing no one should forgive The Bachelor franchise for is their use of transportation and extreme sports as metaphors for relationships. To wit, Andi announcing that she’s hoping the train ride with Dylan will help their relationship “pick up steam.” Must we? Really?

Group Date: The date card says, “You got game?” and Brian, the basketball coach, is very excited when it turns out they are going to play basketball. After all, the state’s marketing material says: “New England is the birthplace of basketball!” A few members of the WNBA come out to play for both marketing purposes (shout-out to the Chicago Sky!) and to scrimmage with the men. The athletes wear their uniforms, but Andi, who is contractually obligated to look hot at all times, wears a v-neck version and short shorts. To win the prize (a date with Andi, natch) the men don’t have to lose to the women, but have to play against each other. They face off 5-on-5, the Rosebuds versus the 5 of Hearts, who are wearing their hearts on their jerseys or something. Then we watch a basketball game and it’s tied at the half, but the Rosebuds destroy them thanks to Basketball Brian and Marquel. The winning team got dressed for a relatively chaste 5-on 1 date with Andi, while the sore losers stuffed themselves in their lockers.

The After Party: At the winners’ group date, Andi pulls Eric aside for a chat; she thinks their relationship “has stalled” since their first date. He agrees, and says that he doesn’t like the formality of the situation. She shrugs, because dating in weird situations is the crux of this show. She also thinks he’s holding back, so he settles in and tells her about how much he loves his family and about his Mormon upbringing and… just drink, because he’s charming and erudite and self-reflective and full of life and love. So: drink. Anyway, Basketball Brian sinks a half-court shot, but while he has game, he doesn’t have Game and doesn’t bother kissing the girl. Nick V. doesn’t have that problem, though, and they make out for awhile.

The Second Date: Andi hates heights, but agrees to repel down Mohegan Sun anyway. She has a full-on panic attack on the wind-swept, freezing cold roof, but manages to squeeze out a few metaphors like how it’s a “leap of faith” for their relationship. Marcus murbles about how he is scared, but is determined to be the “man in the relationship” and talks her down the side of the building, just like they would do everyday if they were married. They repel past the men in their hotel room and make out on the ropes. She’s proud of herself and proud of Marcus for “being protective,” which is a trait she is seeking in a mate. Over dinner, he opens up and she hands him a rose. She thinks he’s “flawless,” which seems like a good time to link to this.

The Cocktail Party: Before the shindig, Andi got a love note from a secret admirer and we got a historical reenactment of the anonymous scribe writing it. It was very A&E. Then she hits the cocktail party and tries to divine the sender, but no one confesses, so she gives up trying.

The Drama: Eric has had a realization. He thinks he has had been very open with Andi, but doesn’t think she has been open with him. He says that he came on this show “to meet a person, not a TV actress,” and apparently those are fighting words. He thinks she has a “poker face” on most of the time and that he isn’t seeing the real her. She starts crying, because apparently “poker face” means something extremely mean in her world, like he kicked a kitten and called her fugly, when he really just said she hid her emotions well, which really isn’t that bad. She defends herself against charges that she’s being fake and assures him that she is aware of the cameras everywhere, but is fully committed to the process. They agree that this isn’t going to work out and with a curt “Thank you for your time.” “Same.” Eric leaves the show. He interviews that he is disappointed, because despite their misunderstanding, he saw potential. Plus, “love leads to family and those two things together are what life is all about.” As you do a shot, think about this: Not to speak ill of the dead, but coming on The Bachelorette and expecting authenticity is patently ridiculous, or at least reveals a deep misunderstanding of the concept of reality television.

The Reality: Chris Harrison interrupts the regularly scheduled Rose Ceremony to talk about Eric Hill. As America just watched Eric’s final scene on the show, Chris deems the Rose Ceremony trite in light of the grandiose finality of death, which is true. He and Andi sit in a room and have a serious talk about Eric, the impact of his life on their lives and on the show and, ugh, just drink. Here are more thoughts on Eric Hill and The Bachelorette.

Who Went Home: Tasos, whose untimely departure and tear-filled farewell speech, will be left up to our imagination. We can only hope he gave her one of his diamond earrings Breakfast Club style.

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TIME Crime

Serial Dine And Dasher Gets 5-Year Sentence For Faking Seizures To Get Out Of Paying Bill

Handcuffs Getty Images

It's finally time to pay the tab

Andrew Palmer was really good at his hobby. Unfortunately, his hobby was faking seizures to get out of paying his tab at Baltimore’s finest dining establishments.

It was a crime that Palmer committed again and again, year after year, earning himself quite a reputation around town, eventually becoming known by police and paramedics. Once people caught on to his scheme —restaurants started posting his picture on their walls — he was arrested multiple times. However, Palmer was wily and made sure that the bills he wracked up were never over $100. The maximum sentence for crimes under that cut-off is 90 days, For some reason, that was a price Palmer was willing to pay, again and again. According to the Baltimore City Paper, since 1985, Palmer has been arrested more than 80 times, and convicted more than 40, but he kept on dining and dashing. “I said, ‘We have to get this guy more than 90 days. That just doesn’t faze him,'” Assistant State’s Attorney Scott Richman told the Baltimore Sun.

His long crime spree may have finally drawn to a close on Friday, though, when District Judge Theodore B. Oshrine handed down a five year sentence for his latest caper, where he was charged with leaving an unpaid $89 bill on the table at a restaurant last fall. Palmer received the sentence of five years when prosecutors successfully argued that while his crime was under $100, it was also under $1,000. By designating the crime as “under $1,000″, the judge was able to dole out a stiffer penalty. Public defenders are appealing the verdict.

Palmer was sentenced to 5 years in prison, plus a five-year suspended sentence that will kick in if he repeats his bad behavior during his three year probation period.

[Via Baltimore Sun]

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