TIME society

Try to Be Happy For the Couple That Just Won the Lottery for the Second Time

They also once won a Jaguar because...why not?

April Fools’ pranks might be everywhere on the Internet today, but this isn’t one of them.

A U.K. couple won £1 million ($1.22 million USD) from the EuroMillions lottery last week for the second time in as many years. They amazingly beat the 283-billion-to-one odds and made sure to celebrate accordingly.

David and Kathleen Long had been engaged for 12 years before purchasing their first winning ticket in 2013 that bankrolled their “smashing” wedding.

“David was always convinced he’d win big,” Kathleen told the Mirror. “It’s brilliant.”

Long, who also reportedly won a Jaguar because why not, got that feeling again last week. “I just knew it would be my turn again some day,” David Long told The Guardian.

His trick seems easy to replicate: “Just believe that one day you will do it.”

So that’s what you’ve been doing wrong.

TIME animals

Watch 7 Really Cute Puppies Predict the NCAA Final Four Winner

They'd rather be napping

In anticipation of the NCAA Final Four, which starts April 4, Jimmy Fallon invited a team of seven puppies — who, let’s face it, would rather be napping — to pick a winner. The adorable fluffballs run toward bowls labeled with the four competing teams: Kentucky Wildcats, Wisconsin Badgers, Michigan State Spartans and Duke Blue Devils. It’s a vicious competition, but a clear winner eventually emerges.

The Tonight Show is clearly respecting the age-old tradition of employing totally under-qualified (albeit excessively adorable) animals to predict which team will win a sports championship.

Let’s hope that their predictions were more accurate than Teddy Bear the porcupine’s Super Bowl pick.

 

TIME

Karl Lagerfeld Says His Cat Made $3 Million Last Year

'Corsa Karl Und Choupette' Vernissage
Franziska Krug—Getty Images Karl Lagerfeld and cat, Choupette

"She is the center of the world. If you saw her, you would understand"

Fashion designer and photographer Karl Lagerfeld loves little black dresses and a big white cat.

In an interview with New York magazine, Lagerfeld disclosed that his chic cat, named Choupette, isn’t just pretty — she’s apparently worth millions. In fact, Lagerfeld claims that she made $3.22 million last year from just two modeling gigs.

To famous feline insiders — we know you’re out there — who scoff at the figure when compared to Grumpy Cat’s reported $100 million in commercial deals, consider this: Between the media tours and the movies and the endorsements, Grumpy Cat is scheduled within an inch of her nine lives.

Choupette, on the other hand, would never demean herself to peddle Friskies. She can bring in millions by barely raising a paw.

“She did two jobs and made 3 million euros last year,” Lagerfeld said. “One was for cars in Germany and the other was for a Japanese beauty product. I don’t allow her to do foodstuffs and things like this. She’s too sophisticated for that.”

In Lagerfeld’s rarefied world, Choupette is a queen and treated accordingly.

“She hates other animals and she hates children,” Lagerfeld said. “She stays always with me and she has two personal maids. They play with her, they have to take care of her beautiful white hair, the beauty treatments for her eyes, and they entertain her. She is the center of the world. If you saw her, you would understand.”

Sorry to add onto your grumpiness, Grumpy Cat.

[NYMag]

TIME Exercise

American Medical Schools Aren’t Teaching the Importance of Exercise

"I was surprised that medical schools didn’t spend more time on it"

Many doctors are finishing medical school without getting any training in the importance of exercise, a new study shows.

Researchers at Oregon State University found that less than half of physicians trained in the U.S. in 2013 had received any instruction on exercise, based on curriculum records listed online.

Of the 118 of 170 American medical schools that listed their curriculum online, 51% of schools didn’t offer exercise-related classes, 21% had one class and 82% didn’t require students to learn about physical activity.

“There are immense medical benefits to exercise; it can help as much as medicine to address some health concerns,” Brad Cardinal, an OSU professor of sports science, said in the study’s press release. “Because exercise has medicinal as well as other benefits, I was surprised that medical schools didn’t spend more time on it.”

TIME

A Theme Park Is Launching Hunger Games Rides in 2016

Hunger Games
Murray Close—Lionsgate

Totally worth the trip to Dubai

If you ever watched The Hunger Games and thought it looked like fun to be chased by bloodthirsty, ax-wielding teenagers, you’re in luck.

After much speculation, Lionsgate announced a partnership Monday with a Dubai Hollywood-themed theme park that will feature Hunger Games attractions.

The park is expected to open in October 2016 and sounds like the most or least fun ever!

Although details are sparse, according to the release, “The Lionsgate zone will feature state-of-the-art theme park attractions and a retail facility inspired by Lionsgate’s global blockbuster The Hunger Games franchise. It will also incorporate a live stage show based on Step Up: All In and Step Up: Revolution, the two most recent films in the Company’s worldwide Step Up franchise.”

Nothing like a dance show to cool you down after narrowly escaping death.

TIME Crime

Woman Stabs Boyfriend For Eating Her Salsa

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Getty Images Tomato salsa, close-up

Too far, too far

Snack lovers will agree, there is no offense greater than eating all of somebody else’s salsa.

Unless, of course, you stab said salsa stealer as a form of retribution. Not only is that a greater offense, but it is an actual crime.

Ohio resident Phyllis Jefferson, 50, reportedly stabbed her 61-year-old boyfriend Ronnie Buckner in the groin with a pen Sunday after she found out he finished her salsa. She then grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the left side of his stomach, according to police reports cited by Cleveland.com.

Buckner was taken to a hospital for his injuries. And although Jefferson fled the scene, police apprehended her later that night. According to police reports, Jefferson admitted to the stabbing, and is currently charged with felonious assault.

[CBS]

 

TIME

Russell Crowe Says Michael Jackson Used to Play Weird Pranks on Him

"The Water Diviner" World Premier - Arrivals
Don Arnold—WireImage Russell Crowe arrives at the World Premier of "The Water Diviner"

Is your refrigerator running?

Russell Crowe — a man who once threw a phone at a hotel concierge for showing too much “attitude” — is not a person most people would want to prank.

But according to a story Crowe told the The Guardian, there was one man who dared to play practical jokes on the gruff Australian star: Michael Jackson.

“For two or three f—ing years,” Crowe said. “I never met him, never shook his hand, but he found out the name I stayed in hotels under, so it didn’t matter where I was, he’d ring up do this kind of thing, like you did when you were 10, you know. ‘Is Mr Wall there? Is Mrs Wall there? Are there any Walls there? Then what’s holding the roof up? Ha ha.’ You’re supposed to grow out of doing that, right?”

Of course the story can’t be confirmed by Jackson, but the image of the pop icon prank calling Crowe is so perfect, we certainly hope it’s true.

[Guardian]

TIME Television

Justin Bieber and the History of the Roast

Comedy Central Roast Of Justin Bieber - Arrivals
Jason LaVeris—FilmMagic Justin Bieber attends the Comedy Central Roast Of Justin Bieber

How the tradition of honoring people by humiliating them got its start

On Monday night, schadenfreude-lovers can tune into Comedy Central to watch Justin Bieber get honored by means of humiliation.

The teen-dream-turned-angsty-20-something is the latest victim/guest of honor of a comedy roast, which will air at 10pm EST but was filmed earlier this month. Though Bieber’s a very modern target, the ribbing he’ll endure is a tradition that has a century-old history.

In the early 20th century, testimonial dinners held to praise an invited guest were all the rage among clubs and organizations.

“They were huge,” says Barry Dougherty, historian and head roast writer for the Friar’s Club, the fraternal and funny organization famous for hosting roasts. “But when other organizations had these things, they would be nice. Because of our particular group of friars, who were sharper vaudevillians, they would be witty, smart and sarcastic. They would make jabs.”

Dougherty says that the club, founded in 1904, probably had its first testimonial turned (not-yet-named) roast in 1907. A 1910 headline in the New York Tribune documented the early days of the unorthodox dinners with the headline: “FRIARS KID MR. HARRIS: Veteran Theatrical Manager Butt of Jokes at Dinner.”

“It was a new thing, no one ever thought to do it before,” Dougherty tells TIME, adding that other organizations started jumping on the sarcastic bandwagon. But the dinners started to get out of hand.

“[The roasters] kept upping the ante,” Dougherty says, and over the years the jokes got more and more extreme. “When you got to the ’40s [the friars] wondered if they should put the breaks on it or have a separate event, all roasting, no nice stuff.”

They went with the latter.

The first official roast, so named because of the many times a guest of honor would get “burned,” occurred in 1949. The subject was French actor and singer Maurice Chevalier. While many of the roasts were initially only open to men — when Humphrey Bogart was roasted in 1955, his wife sent them a tape that played her message, “This is Lauren Bacall, the uninvited guest, you rat bastards” — they would later open their doors. Lucille Ball was roasted in 1962.

In 1998, the Friar’s Club partnered with Comedy Central to air the roasts on television. While the two have since parted ways, both organizations now regularly hold roasts of their own. Though more roasts may mean more humiliation, it’s a win for the rest of us: The more celebrities we get to see cringe, the better.

Read next: Watch Justin Bieber Apologize to His Roasters for His Past Behavior

Listen to the most important stories of the day.

 

TIME viral

Why Jay Z, Rihanna and Kanye Have Gone Blue on Twitter

NBA All-Star Game 2015
Elsa—Getty Images Rappers Sean Combs and Jay Z attend the 2015 NBA All-Star Game

No, it's not for charity

Jay Z has prompted musicians to turn their Twitter avatars and Instagram photos into a square of solid bright blue Sunday night — and it has nothing to do with Blue Ivy.

Musicians are going teal to support Jay Z’s new music streaming service called Tidal. Details are still sparse, but Tidal is marketing itself as an artist-friendly streaming experience. Taylor Swift wrote an op-ed for the Wall Street Journal last year explaining that she was pulling her music from Spotify because artists weren’t properly compensating.

“Together, we can turn the tide and make music history,” Kanye West tweeted.

Here’s who else is joining in:

More details to come Monday at 5 EST.

 

TIME Food & Drink

Easter Egg Cookies Recalled For Containing … Eggs

Yes, really

Well here’s an ironic food recall for you.

Silver Lake issued a voluntary recall Friday for Easter Egg Cookies because they contained eggs. The company hadn’t declared the ingredient in the “nutrition facts” section of its label.

According to the FDA release, “People who have an allergy or a severe sensitivity to eggs run the risk of serious or life-threatening allergic reaction if they consume these cookies. The cookies are safe for consumption by those who do not have egg allergies.”

No illnesses have been reported yet.

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