TIME

Tara Reid Created a Perfume Called ‘Shark’

Yes, really

Tara Reid can thank the Sharknado franchise for many things. Not only has it reinvigorated her career, but the movies have inspired a sense of entrepreneurship in the former party girl.

Today, you can be the owner of Shark by Tara, a perfume inspired by, you guessed it, sharks.

According to TaraReid.com, the $24.95 bottle “is a light and refreshing perfume perfect for day-to-day wear. It also incorporates a plethora of ‘lavender’ colored flowers, which is Tara’s favorite color, making them a true fit for Shark by Tara.”

TIME book

Happy 34th Birthday Harry Potter—You’re Way Older Than We Thought You Were

Harry Potter
Warner Bros.

He isn't even a Millennial!

I still remember meeting Harry Potter for the first time. We were both going through our awkward phases. Granted, he was a prepubescent wizard with a lightning bolt scar instead of acne on his forehead. And he was saving the world from forces of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, while I was still covertly playing with American Girl dolls.

But when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone hit American bookstores in 1998, despite the slightly different circumstances, we were peers. Just two 11-year-old kids with unkempt hair, trying to figure things out.

So imagine my surprise when I read on JK Rowling’s official blog that July 31 this year is Harry Potter’s 34th birthday — when I’m just 26-years-old.

Not only is Harry almost a decade further along than me but, according to Pew researchers, he isn’t even a part of my so-called “Millennial” generation! How did he grow up without me?

Here’s the thing that many Harry Potter fans didn’t fully realize: Though the first book starring an 11-year-old Harry Potter was released in 1997 in the UK and 1998 in America, it takes place almost a decade prior. Rowling concocted her tale on a crowded train in 1990. So Harry Potter’s story begins then–the same year Maggie Thatcher quit as Prime Minister of Muggles.

Rowling didn’t make this timeline explicitly clear in the books. Dates are scarce throughout the series and since the world of Hogwarts is somewhat removed from current events anyway, it was hard to isolate cultural details that would put its timing in a greater context. We might know when the Xbox came out. But a Nimbus 2000? Not so much.

Luckily, some extremely dedicated Potter fans created a timeline on their own, based on one concrete date given in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. A 12-year-old Harry and friends were celebrating Nearly Headless Nick’s 500th anniversary of his October 31, 1492 deathday. And quicker than you can say, “Aparecium!” there it is–a clear indication that Harry was born in 1980.

Rowling was wise to leave these details vague: A powerful kinship is created when your target demographic grows up alongside its newfound hero. Every year, the Harry Potter generation would wait in line at midnight to see what his slightly aged wizarding cohort was up to. Over nearly decade, we transitioned from getting chaperoned by parents way past our bedtime at book stores, to driving ourselves to now defunct Borders to pick up a copy.

Harry Potter may not be a peer. The father of three is in the upper echelons of the Ministry of Magic, I’m still on Tinder figuring out what a 401K means. But I still think it’s fair to say that we still grew up together. So happy birthday, Old Man Potter!

TIME Music

Lorde Is Writing a New Song For the New Hunger Games Soundtrack

2014 MuchMusic Video Awards - Press Room
Singer-songwriter Lorde poses in the press room at the 2014 MuchMusic Video Awards at MuchMusic HQ Sonia Recchia—Getty Images

The 17-year-old powerhouse fits in the film's strong, young, female image

Lionsgate announced that 17-year-old Lorde will not only write the first single for the next Hunger Games installment, but she will curate the soundtrack for it as well.

Lorde will hand-pick the artists who appear on the Mockingjay — Part 1 album, which will be available from Republic Records this fall. The film is set to premiere in the U.S. on November 21.

The Grammy-winning musician, whose single “Royals” went quadruple platinum, is certainly the right demographic for the franchise, which focused on powerful, young, female lead Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence).

“I sat down with Lorde on the set of Mockingjay this spring and I was immediately struck by how she so innately understood what we, as both fans and filmmakers, were trying to accomplish with the film,” said director Francis Lawrence in a statement. “Her immense talent and keen understanding of Mockingjay’s characters and themes not only have enabled her to create a song of her own that completely captures the film’s essence, but her insight and passion for our project make her the perfect creative force to assemble the other songs on our soundtrack.”

TIME celebrity

Alicia Keys Pregnant With Her Second Child

The announcement was made on Instagram

Alicia Keys and her husband Swizz Beatz announced via Instagram on Thursday that they’re expecting a second child.

Beatz posted a photo with his clearly pregnant wife with the birthday message: “Happy Anniversary to the love of my life @therealswizzz !! And to make it even sweeter we’ve been blessed with another angel on the way!! 🎊🎉🎊🎉 You make me happier than I have ever known! Here’s to many many more years of the best parts of life! 😍☺️😘”

The couple already has a three-year-old son named Egypt.

TIME movies

Jamie Foxx Will Reportedly Play Mike Tyson in Upcoming Biopic

Grand Opening Celebration at W Hoboken - Inside
Jaime Foxx performs during the grand opening celebration at The Chandelier Room at W Hoboken Dimitrios Kambouris—Getty

Jamie Foxx has been cast to play Mike Tyson, one of the most polarizing modern sports figures, in an untitled biopic, Variety reports. Boardwalk Empire creator Terence Winter is set to write the film.

Although details are sparse, Tyson certainly has a wealth of biographical details to mine, including but not limited to: his rise and fall as a heavyweight champion, his six years in jail on rape charges, the Holyfield ear-biting incident, the tragic death of his daughter, his bankruptcy, and his re-entry into pop culture.

This wouldn’t be Foxx’s first foray into boxing films. The actor, who will appear next in the Annie reboot, played Muhammad Ali’s corner man in Ali.

[Variety]

TIME celebrity

Watch Brian Williams Pull The Ultimate Dad Move When Announcing His Daughter’s Peter Pan Casting

Adorable. Embarrassing.


Brian Williams: News anchor, amateur rapper, embarrassing dad.

Wednesday night, Williams reported his daughter, Allison Williams, was cast in NBC’s Peter Pan, the network’s first live musical since the ratings-pulling Sound of Music.

“The actress and singer is currently in the cast of Girls on HBO,” Williams said, unable to stop himself from putting an image of a young Allison in a Peter Pan costume on screen, adding, “Family members confirm she has been rehearsing for this role since the age of three, and they look forward to seeing her fly.”

Embarrassing. Adorable. If only he had made the announcement while rapping.

TIME

The 9 Circles of Hell for Millennials

If Dante wrote The Inferno today...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. This is a dead zone. (Effing AT&T…)
- Dante Alighier-ish

Dante’s Divine Comedy was written in the 14th century with his uber-Catholic, Italian counterparts in mind. While the allegory of the afterlife lives on in modern culture, the Inferno would probably look slightly different were it typed out on an iPad. Behold: The nine circles of hell for the basic millennial:

1. An eternity of online dating

Swipe left. Swipe left. Swipe left.

2. “Fun”-employment
Economy blah blah tough market blah lots of 26-year-olds still live with their parents.

3. Sharing an enclosed space with someone playing Candy Crush with the sound on
No one is celebrating you advancement to level 147. HEADPHONES.

4. Trying to cancel your cable
“You don’t want something that works?” “So you’re not interested in the fastest internet in the country?” “I’m really ashamed to see you go to something that can’t give you what we can!” “What is it about this other internet provider???”

These real talking points come courtesy of a Comcast customer service representative who fought tooth-and-nail to keep former tech editor Ryan Block’s loyal service. He posted an 8-minute clip of the recorded conversation that would be more appropriate from a jilted lover rather than, you know, a cable provider.

5. Actual activism as opposed to hashtag activism
#So #Much #Work

6. Only getting 10 likes on every Instagram picture
11 is “the only like that matters.

7. Finding out your Craigslist roommate is actually a hoarder
Slash amateur tap dancer slash serial killer.

8. Explaining any technology to your grandparents
The weekly FaceTime calls home have provided you with a solid working knowledge of cartography of your grandma’s forehead and you hated geography in school.

9. Going back to dial-up
As terrifying as it is hypothetical. Then again, anything can happen in hell.

TIME Television

Sharknado 2: Everything You Need to Know Before Watching The Epically Absurd Second One

Get ready for a fin-tastic voyage

+ READ ARTICLE

“You know what you did, don’t you? You jumped the shark.”
— Actual line from Sharknado 2: The Second One, as it desperately tries not to jump the shark

If you’re on Twitter come 9 p.m. Wednesday, consider yourself warned. Because literally the only thing the Internet will be talking about is SyFy’s uber-viral, uber-campy Sharknado 2, featuring Tara Reid, Ian Ziering, droves of quasi-celebrity cameos and, of course, a chain saw.

The movie gained more traction than its SyFy brethren Piranhaconda and Sharktopus ever did, and has become a cult classic even for those who have never seen the film. According to USA Today, while only 1.4 million people watched Sharknado’s original airing, a number that grew in subsequent airings, it inspired 5,000 tweets a minute. (We bet Samuel L. Jackson is kicking himself that Twitter was in its infancy during the Snakes on a Plane release).

So if you are jumping on the bandwagon before Wednesday’s premiere, or just need a quick refresher, here’s a crash course in all things Sharknado.

What the first movie was about:
Due to ambiguous reasons (“global warming?” a newscaster guesses) a massive storm and massive influx of sharks have simultaneously hit Los Angeles. Tiger sharks are flying through the windows of Beverly Hills mansions. Hammerheads are eating angry drivers on the 405 freeway. And it is up to one man with the subtle name of Fin Shepard (Ziering) to not only stop an impending Sharknado (which is exactly what it sounds like), but also to reconnect with his estranged wife April (Reid) and kids. His son saves the day by dropping a bomb into the Sharknado. All of our main characters survive, even though two of them were eaten by the toothy predators. (Note to self: When about to enter a shark’s mouth, remember to wield a chainsaw.) Fin and April make out. All is well.

What is the second one about:
Same concept. Different city. The Sharknado has followed Fin and April to New York as they promote their book, How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack. (Available for purchase). Now Fin must use his knowledge to save New York from imminent disaster.

WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT?
Lots of symbolic destruction:
The Santa Monica Pier ferris wheel was shown rolling down the streets of Los Angeles symbolizing THE END OF FUN in Sharknado. Swap that for the Statue of Liberty’s decapitated head catapulting through New York to symbolize . . . something about the shark’s threat of freedom or something, and we’re all set.

It might be kind of educational:
As we learned in Sharknado: “Tornados happen when cold and hot air meet. If you drop a bomb in it, you just might equalize it.” Because SCIENCE.

It also might be kind of political:
Although the first film didn’t exactly take a stand against shark hunting, it was kind of implied considering a poachers face got eaten by a shark.

Hordes of cameos:
Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath (a.k.a. Sugar Ray) and Judah Friedlander have joined the cast as Finn’s college friend, his brother-in-law and a helpful cab driver, respectively. But there are also tons of quick hits from “stars” who were itching to ride Sharknado‘s viral wave. Watch for Kelly Osbourne, Andy Dick, The Naked Cowboy, Perez Hilton, Al Roker and Matt Lauer, Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan, and, of course, Jared the Subway guy, who eats a sandwich as sharks start eating people in a subway. (Get it? He’s eating a Subway sandwich in the subway!)

A total disregard for human life:
The cast of Sharknado appeared totally and completely unphased when a shark would come out of nowhere and rip someone’s leg off. Reid barely batted an eye when her live-in boyfriend was torn apart in the mansion.

Lots of New York “insider” jokes:
Sharknado’s script was riddled with LA jokes including: “It’s just a little water. Typical Californians afraid of the rain;” and “My mama always told me Hollywood would kill me” — right before letters from the Hollywood sign crushes him to death.

Expect gems like this from the sequel: “This is the big apple. Something bites us, we bite back.”

A renewed sense of patriotism:
May we leave you with Fin’s inspiring speech: “They’re sharks. They’re scary. No one wants to get eaten. But I’ve been eaten, and I’m here to tell ya, it takes a lot more than that to bring a good man down. It takes a lot more than that to bring a New Yorker down.”

TIME TV

The Bachelorette: Read the Letter Nick Wrote Andi to Win Her Back

Celebrity Sightings In New York City - July 29, 2014
Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray from 'The Bachelorette' appear on "Good Morning America" Raymond Hall—GC Images

Best read with Adele in the background

Bachelorette watchers have come to expect a particularly intimate view of the evolution of a relationship. But ABC producers have now exposed fans to the other side of made-for-TV romance: the anatomy of a break-up.

At 5:22 p.m. Monday, hours before the winner was revealed, a post titled “Andi’s Mystery Letter” appeared on the show’s official Facebook page. We now know the content to be the musings of Bachelorette loser Nick Viall, who sported a face more sullen than guest star Grumpy Cat during Monday night’s three-hour season finale.

During the “After the Final Rose” special, producers showed footage of Nick attempting to confront Andi face-to-face (apparently for the second time) during the taping of the “Men Tell All” special. After the now-engaged Dorfman refused to see him, producers handed her a note–now available for all the Internet to see.

“You lit me up,” Viall writes in a letter best read while listening to Adele in the background.

You made me feel those things that people go a lifetime to find, and I feel like I made you feel the same… Let’s just call it what it was–our relationship was very much the road less traveled. I totally get that all the passion, intensity, and connections that we had were accompanied by fear and sometimes discomfort. There is a reason why very few are willing to take the road less traveled. It can be scary, challenging, and risky, but if you have the courage to take it, it usually ends up being amazing.

The rest can be read here.

Viall told Us Weekly, “I was in no way ashamed of what was in that letter, I knew by giving it to her, that was a possibility and I accepted that.”

No word yet on whether Viall feels bad about breaking Bachelorette code and going public what went on in the Fantasy Suite while finally granted his long-awaited sit-down with his ex during Monday’s show.

“Knowing how in love with you I was,” Nick said, “If you weren’t in love with me, I’m just not sure why, why you made love with me?”

ABC declined to comment on the letter.

Read More on The Bachelorette:

The Bachelorette Finale is Terrifying if You Know Nothing about the Show

Who Will Be the Next Bachelor: Nick V., Farmer Chris or Grumpy Cat?

Bachelorette Finale: Andi Makes Her Choice

TIME fitness

63% of Americans Actively Avoid Soda

185261089
Crushed can Getty Images

The soda craze is going flat–at least, according to a new Gallup poll, which found that almost two-thirds of Americans actively avoid soda in their diet.

While 41% percent of those polled in 2002 said that they try to steer clear of soda, that number has now jumped to 63%. Gallup’s poll shows that generally Americans are making more effort to have healthier diets. More than nine out of ten Americans try to include fruits and vegetables in their diets, and 52% said that they are trying to avoid sugars.

Don’t start pouring one out for the dying soda business just yet, though. A 2012 Gallup poll also found that 48% of Americans drink at least one glass of soda a day.

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