TIME Careers & Workplace

You’ll Never Guess the Most Affordable City for Young People

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Mexico City, Mumbai and Rome are all contenders

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

You’re a young person with big entrepreneurial dreams and plans to change the world. Good for you! But you need to pay the rent while you build up your skills or get your fledgling enterprise off the ground. So where should you move?

There’s no shortage of advice for young people on which cities make the best launching pads for post-collegiate life. One recent study looked at which metro areas were more popular with mobile well-educated young people to indicate the best destination for your U-Haul, for example. Other sources of advice have crowdsourced community opinion to rank the best locales for digital nomads.

But another recent index of possible new homes for recent grads takes a different approach. Rather than just solicit the opinions of the group or look at standard cost of living measures, the Youthful Cities Index from consultancy Decode takes into account not only how much you spend on essentials like rent and food (though that’s weighed too) but also how much entry-level workers will bring home if they make minimum wage, as well as other less-often-used but more youth-relevant indicators of a city’s costs like the price of attending a live gig, going to a movie, and taking public transit.

So what was the result of the global ranking after all these unusual numbers were crunched. Here are the results (bet you didn’t see number one coming):

  1. Paris
  2. Toronto
  3. Los Angeles
  4. Chicago
  5. Berlin
  6. Dallas
  7. Rome
  8. New York
  9. Tokyo
  10. London
  11. Seoul
  12. Buenos Aires
  13. Istanbul
  14. Cairo
  15. Johannesburg
  16. Bogota
  17. Lima
  18. Mumbai
  19. Lagos
  20. Sao Paulo
  21. Manila
  22. Shanghai
  23. Mexico City
  24. Nairobi
  25. Kinshasa

Of course, as Quartz writer Zainab Mudallal points out in her writeup of the index, affordability and opportunity are two totally separate things. “France has also recently been called a “sick” economy by its own economy minister, with its high unemployment rate and reputation for worker inefficiency. The high cost of doing business in France means that some employers consider it a risk to take on young people. So it may not be easy to find a job,” she notes.

It’s a valid point. No matter how affordable a city is theoretically, if you can’t get even one of those relatively well-paid minimum wage gigs, a promising budget on paper isn’t going to mean a thing. So take the results with a grain of salt before you rush off to brush up on your French. The rankings, however, do serve as a reminder that a lot more goes into making a city attractive to young people than sensible-sounding basics and cheap housing.

TIME Careers & Workplace

You Don’t Get What You Don’t Ask For

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How simply asking for things in the right way can get you almost anything you want in life

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

90% of people are afraid to ask for things. Is that a real statistic? Nope. But I believe it to be a true statistic, if not higher than that.

We, as humans, are afraid to ask for things. We’re afraid to ask people to buy our products. We’re afraid to ask someone out on a date. We’re afraid to ask for more money at our jobs. We’re afraid to ask the tough questions in our relationships.

We’re afraid to ask because we fear rejection.

Rejection is this unbelievably strong thing that keeps us from getting so much in life. If you experience rejection one time, it is likely to derail you from ever asking for that thing again. Most of us have had the unpleasant experience of asking someone on a date and getting rejected. Unfortunately, that horrible empty feeling sticks with us for years to come (and for some people, the rest of their lives).

But why is rejection so strong? Why is it so hard to overcome the feeling that the tiny two-letter word “no” gives us?

Much like rejection, negativity is incredibly powerful. 100 people could tell you how freaking amazing you look today, but if one person says you look like crap, those 100 positive messages won’t matter.

See, on some level, we all just want to fit in. The reason we fixate on things like rejection and negativity is because they make us feel alienated from the rest of the world. Experiencing those things on any scale cuts us to our most basic human core.

Think about the last time you asked for something out of your comfort zone? Or even something in your comfort zone. You probably felt hesitation. You probably had 20 scenes play out in your mind, all disasters and worst-case scenarios. You might have even delayed your ask until you finally built up enough courage.

Over the years, I’ve had success in business for two reasons:

  1. I wasn’t afraid to ask for things most people wouldn’t dare ask for.
  2. I was willing to work my ass off to get the thing I wanted, because it was something I was really passionate about.

When people hear that I’ve made over $1,000,000 and worked with over 2,000 companies since 2009, I’m sure it comes off like a nice shiny success story. But what they don’t hear is that I sent more than 15,000 emails to make those deals happen (75% of those emails were most likely follow ups).

Writing that many emails wasn’t easy and on many occasions I was afraid to make “the ask.” One thing that always helped me overcome my own fear of asking was that I believed in myself and the thing I was asking for. If you don’t believe in what you’re asking for, you’re never going to overcome your initial fear.

Everyone wants to make good money, but most people are afraid to put in the hard work to make it happen. There were many times when I got discouraged when people said “no” to me. There were many times when I wanted to give up and thought my ideas weren’t good when I got negative criticism. But I believed in what I was selling and wanted it more than the feeling of rejection could dissuade me.

The simple magic to getting anything you want in life is just to ask.

The only caveat to simply asking for what you want is this: make sure you do it with creativity, confidence and effort.

When it comes to selling something online, your product or service most likely has competition. Someone else is already asking people to buy, so that alone should give you the validation and confidence to ask. But, you should also think about a unique or creative way you can package your ask so it stands out from the crowd.

When it comes to relationships, confidence is key. No one wants to talk to, let alone go on a date with, someone who has zero confidence. But just like asking for things, the more you work to build your confidence and the more practice you put in, the more results you’ll see. No one becomes confident overnight or by reading a few self-help books. You have to put in the work and not give up at the first sign of rejection.

The four-time Olympic gold medalist Jesse Owens put it perfectly: “We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort.”

Effort is truly a secret to success. No one has ever put in an insane amount of effort for something and not gotten some value out of it. The more you ask for things, in the right ways, the better you’ll get at it. And the better you get at asking, the amount of times you hear “yes” will increase.

You’re going to hear “no.” You’re going to feel rejected. You’re going to encounter negativity. But if you truly want whatever you’re asking for, you won’t and shouldn’t give up at the first sign or thought of adversity.

Start repeating these words to yourself every time you’re feeling hesitation: You don’t get what you don’t ask for.

If you enjoyed this article and want to read more of my writing, subscribe to my weekly newsletter (feel free to say “no” I certainly won’t mind).

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For a Better Life, Do This Simple Thing Every Week

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A better you isn't that hard to achieve

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

In recent years, walking has gone from a generally healthful mode of transport to a public health crusade. Why? Lately, science has shown sitting all day to be the newest public health menace, right behind Big Macs and cigarettes on the list of things that will shorten your life and damage your body. The silver lining to this evolving line of research is that fighting back seems to be as simple as getting up and wandering around for a few minutes every hour or so (standing desks are another option).

An occasional stroll, therefore, has become akin to a morning vitamin or regular cancer screening–something you know you really ought to do. There’s no denying the truth of the necessity of adding a bare minimum of movement to our days, but there’s another side to walking that may be getting lost in the rush to remind people of its salutary effects.

Walking might save your life, but that’s far from all a good wander has to offer.

Traveling by foot isn’t just medicinal. It’s also a meditative pursuit with a long and storied pedigree that can lift your mood, improve your creativity, and give you the space you need for life-changing self-reflection.

Less Anxious, More Creative

The first couple of items on this list are the simplest to prove. Again we can turn to recent studies that reveal being outside in natural settings is powerful anti-anxiety medicine. Blog Wise Bread summed up the new findings this way: “The sounds of birds chirping, rain falling, and bees buzzing are proven to lower stress and evoke a feeling of calm.”

Similarly, science attests that getting out for a walk can spur creative thinking. Stanford News, for example, reports on studies out of the university showing that “the overwhelming majority of the participants in these three experiments were more creative while walking than sitting … creative output increased by an average of 60 percent when the person was walking.”

Walking to Find Yourself

It’s clear, then, that walking has short-term utilitarian uses–if you need an idea to finish that work project, a spin around your local park might help shake one loose. But there’s also lots of anecdotal evidence that longer walks can yield a deeper sort of creativity. The mental space created by long rambles offers the stressed and scattered the time and brain real estate needed not only to solve specific problems, but also to gain perspective on their own lives and rebalance out-of-whack lifestyles.

When blogger David Roberts decided to fight his profound burnout with a year-long digital detox, for example, he soon settled into a daily rhythm of long hikes. “Reliably, after about a half-hour of walking, ideas start bubbling up,” he reports in a fascinating writeup of the experience for Outdoor magazine. The wandering had other effects, too. “I spent hours at a time absorbed in a single activity. My mind felt quieter, less jumpy,” he says.

Roberts is far from the only thinker to notice these deeper effects of longer walks. On Medium recently, writer Craig Mod composed an ode to long walks, unearthing a treasure trove of historical figures and great thinkers who celebrated and dissected the benefits of walking. The common thread running through these accounts isn’t just that experiencing a place on foot offers a unique perspective and plenty of unexpected details to delight the walker, but also that “walking moves or settles the mind–allowing for self discovery.”

If you’ve lost touch with the art of the long ramble, it’s a must-read piece. And it begs the question:

Will you take time for a long walk this week?

TIME Careers & Workplace

The One Word You Should Basically Never, Ever Say

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Anyone aiming for great success should quit using it immediately

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

Language is powerful. Using the right words can signal you’re part of the group, convey difficult decisions without ruffling feathers, and demonstrate power. Meanwhile, sloppy word choices are often a red flag for sloppy thinking or a company culture with something to hide.

That’s true of firms with impenetrable or pretentious job ads and mission statements, and it’s also true of individuals. How we speak says a lot about our values. That being true, there’s one word you really, really should stay away from if you want to be successful in business, according to Aha! co-founder Brian de Haaff on LinkedIn recently.

What word does he think ambitious entrepreneurs should ban from their vocabulary? The innocuous sounding adverb “honestly.”

What about the rest of the time?

What’s wrong with signaling your intention to be entirely straightforward? That’s a quality that you shouldn’t need to signal, de Haaff insists, because it should be fundamental to your communication style all the time. If you have to highlight that you’re speaking honestly by saying “honestly,” you need to take a hard look at why you’re being less than forthcoming or authentic the rest of the time. Other people are already wondering, he warns.

“A VP of sales who I worked closely with before I co-founded Aha! always said ‘honestly’ when he really wanted something. He thought that it was a way to make a hard point, but we all questioned whether he was lying to us at all other times,” de Haaff writes.

But calling your credibility into question isn’t the only problem with using “honestly” for emphasis, according to de Haaff. In the full post, he also explains how the expression can highlight your frustration in an unhelpful, passive-aggressive way, and push people away in conversation.

He’s not the only one out there with a very strong and specific verbal pet peeve. Here on Inc.com, we recently rounded up expressions that even well-educated folks use without thinking that make them sound dumb or inconsiderate, for example. Business jargon and inflated diction are another continuous source of complaint as well. No doubt there are lots of other verbal pitfalls out there.

TIME Careers & Workplace

7 Things You Can Learn From the Greatest Businessman of All Time

Billionaire investor Warren Buffett speaks at an event on Sept. 18, 2014 in Detroit, Michigan.
Billionaire investor Warren Buffett speaks at an event on Sept. 18, 2014 in Detroit, Michigan. Bill Pugliano—Getty Images

Warren Buffett shares words of wisdom from decades of experience, success, and failure

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

The “most successful investor of the 20th century” has a thing or two to teach you about being a great leader. Warren Buffett is a famed philanthropist, business magnate, and sharklike investor. As the CEO and biggest shareholder of Berkshire Hathaway and someone who consistently ranks among the richest people in the world, he’s smart, business savvy, and slick, even into his 80s.

However, the “Oracle of Omaha” is also a notoriously frugal spender and reveres value investing. Having pledged to donate 99 percent of his wealth, he’s proof that sometimes old-school techniques work. If you’re an up-and-coming leader (or just want to be), check out what Buffett can teach you about leadership, wise moves, and humility.

1. On Risk

“Risk comes from not knowing what you’re doing,” says Buffett, which means you can do one of two things. Either you can be a big risk taker and gambler, or you can learn what you need to do, play it a little slower, and minimize your risks. Obviously the latter approach is best, but it doesn’t lead to instant gratification. Put those multimillion-dollar fantasies on the back burner long enough to get in control of your risk factor.

2. On Reputations

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” This is especially true in the digital era, when, if something’s in writing or on video, it’s forever. You can even take a screencap of a Snapchat, so be diligent when building your reputationonline and off. Remember Congressman Anthony Weiner tweeting pictures of his genitalia? Yeah, don’t be that guy. His reputation is toast.

3. On Who You Surround Yourself With

“It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours, and you’ll drift in that direction.” Birds of a feather flock together, and you’re probably not in the position to be anyone’s mentor yet. If you surround yourself with better people, they’ll inspire you to do better yourself.

As I tell my children, “If you want to soar like an eagle in life, you can’t be flocking with the turkeys.”

4. On Hindsight

“In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield,” quips Buffett. Of course, this is true in every other aspect of your life, too. Stop focusing on that rearview mirror, though, after you’ve gleaned the necessary lessons from it. Move forward, even if that direction isn’t quite as streak-free.

5. On Stupid Mistakes

“I bought a company in the mid-’90s called Dexter Shoe and paid $400 million for it. And it went to zero. And I gave away about $400 million worth of Berkshire stock, which is probably now worth $400 billion. But I’ve made lots of dumb decisions. It’s part of the game.”

No successful person is mistake-free, and that’s a good thing. Each stumble is a chance to learn and a warning when you’re tempted to do something similar in the future.

6. On Knowing When to Quit

“Should you find yourself in a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.” In other words, ditch the stubbornness and know when to call it quits. Not every project is worth saving.

7. On Frugality

Buffett is legendarily frugal. He lives in the same house in Omaha, Nebraska, that he purchased in 1958 for $31,500. He is well known for his frugality, which includes enjoying McDonald’s hamburgers and cherry Coke, and his disdain for technology, such as computers and luxury cars. Despite a net worth measured in billions, Buffett earns a base salary of $100,000 a year at Berkshire Hathaway. It’s a salary that has not changed in 25 years.

Today, many top leaders take as much as they can and live as extravagantly as possible. More leaders should take a page from the book of Buffett.

Listen to the Wisdom of the Oracle of Omaha

These words of wisdom come from decades of experience, success, and failure. Why make the same mistakes somebody else has already made all over again if you don’t have to? With the likes of Buffett doling out advice by the shovelful, take advantage of it–then spend that saved time putting his words into practice.

It’s certainly worked for Buffett.

TIME Careers & Workplace

The Unspoken Leadership Skill You Need to Survive

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No matter how large or small your organization, your political skills play a critical role in your success as a leader

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

Recently, I attended the Inc. 5000 conference, where I conducted a session on skills for moving an agenda. To open, I asked the group if any of them had good ideas that they’ve successfully implemented. One colleague and entrepreneur from Texas told the story of having a great idea, but not having talked to right people, and not having gained the right support.

More often than not, entrepreneurs fail not because of a lack of good idea, or even because of a lack of resources. Leaders fail because they have not honed their political competence. For the past generation, we’ve talked all about “leadership,” but political skills are only politely whispered about, if they are mentioned at all.

Look around. What differentiates a failed entrepreneur from one that is successful? What is the defining factor between a successful corporate leader, and one who has failed? Put simply, successful leadership comes down to having the ability to rally people behind an idea and gather the support necessary for your idea to bear fruit. Regardless of the quality of your idea and the appeal of your charm, if you lack political competence, you are not a leader. Without the skills of political competence, your most brilliant innovation, your best-laid plan will get stuck in the quagmire of inertia, in the muck of repetition, in the doldrums of inaction. Your dreams will become delusions, and your agenda will be nothing more than talk.

People who push ideas that never get off the ground may become organizational casualties. Their idea is crushed by opposition before it has a chance of survival. On the other hand, successful leaders not only push an idea, but understand the opposition, get people on their side, and make things happen. Maybe–just maybe–the difference between casualties and successful leaders is not a question of which one has a better idea, but rather a question of their political competence.

Political competence is the ability to understand what you can and cannot control, when to take action, who is going to resist your agenda, and who you need on your side to push your agenda forward. Political competence is about knowing how to map the political terrain, get others on your side, and lead coalitions. More often than not, political competence is not understood as a critical core competence that is needed by all leaders in organizations.

Having studied the behavioral skills of leaders, specifically their political skills, I’ve learned that this isn’t mysterious. These specific behavioral skills can be learned. At their core, these political skills enhance your ability to win people over, to get others to join your effort, to mobilize, and get results.

I am often reminded of a discussion that I once had with a corporate leader. I told him that what he needed to do in his organization was to enhance the political skills of his people so they could work across turf and across departments. He responded with a condescending look and told me with a touch of moral indignation, “I don’t do politics.”

He implied that he lived in an apolitical reality. While this may be an aspiration, it is not a reality. We all operate in the political context. As for his moral indignation, I simply reminded him that many of our heroes–Martin Luther King, Jr., Dwight Eisenhower, Mahatma Gandhi, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Mother Theresa–were all leaders who mastered political competence. Every single one of them will were pragmatists who knew how to politically sustain their campaigns to achieve results. They understood that the leadership wasn’t achieved by having flair or great sound bites, but by keeping the focus and mastering the micro-skills to go the distance. What they had in common was the understanding that in order to survive that they needed the skills of political competence.

TIME Careers & Workplace

The Surprising Things Wealthy People Spend Their Money On

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A new study sheds light on the spending habits of the wealthiest consumers

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

If you had to take a guess, what would you say were the top auto brands purchased by the wealthiest Americans? You’d probably guess Mercedes, BMW, Bentley… But according to the Martini Report, a study conducted by Ipsos MediaCT and Martini Media, you’re entirely wrong.

Among consumers that make more than $100,000 a year, the most widely owned car brands are Ford, Toyota, Honda, Chevy, and Nissan. Not only that, but these affluent consumers are shopping at Amazon, Target, and Walmart.

“Of course they’re the main target for more upscale stores as well, but you can go to pretty much any outlet, any retail environment, and find often a majority of the dollars being spent by this minority of the population,” Ipsos chief insights officer Stephen Kraus said when he presented the Martini Report findings in New York City on Wednesday.

The objective of the report was to learn more about the wealthy so that brands can better target them in their advertising. It looked at four subcategories of the affluent consumer: The aspiring affluent are those above 40 years old who make $75,000 to $99,000. The emerging affluent are between ages 18 to 39 and make $75,000 to $99,000 a year. The mass affluent make $100,000 to $249,000, and the hyper-affluent make $250,000 or more.

One of the big takeaways from the study was that the rich are really just like us. They buy mainstream brands in addition to luxury brands, and at the end of the day, they’re looking for advertising that’s relevant and entertaining.

What differentiates them, however, is how much of the national spending they account for.

The affluent spent 65 percent of all U.S. dollars paid for cruises, 60 percent paid for suits, 54 percent for hotels, 52 percent for airfare, 47 percent for online videos, and 42 percent for new cars.

It’s clear that brands should consider these statistics when figuring out their content and messaging strategies.

Another major finding from the Martini Report was that affluent consumers are hyper-technological.

“They live technology-infused lifestyles,” Kraus said. “They think of their lives as completely intertwined with technology.”

Which in turn means that they’re increasingly spending that money online. Sixty-seven percent of affluent consumers said they had made a purchase on a computer in the past week.

According to Ipsos, 70 percent of people who make more than $100,000 a year visited Amazon in the past 30 days, averaging 3.4 purchases. About a third are also Amazon Prime members.

That same category is purchasing airline tickets, women’s apparel and accessories, hotel reservations, event tickets, and books on a computer. They’re buying music, apps, games, takeout and delivery, and event tickets on smartphones. And they’re buying books, apps, games, women’s apparel and accessories, and music on tablets.

As Kraus explained, affluent consumers are spending tons of money online and across a variety of retailers and brands, so it behooves the average marketer to consider this sector when crafting strategies.

“Where do affluents shop?” Kraus asked. “They shop everywhere.”

TIME Careers & Workplace

5 Non-Business Books That Will Super Charge Your Career

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Spare time is so precious—use it to take your mind to new places

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

Real thinking is hard and most people don’t like it. A recent experiment showed that most people would administer mild electric shocks to themselves in preference to sitting alone and thinking. But reading, at least, gives you a companion.

Most of the reading we do, however, is transactional: information we need to make decisions. Little of it is discursive or challenging; it merely requires processing. So when you take discretionary time to read, what is that precious time for? I’d argue it’s for thinking, not processing.

So don’t spend that precious time reading about business. Spend it on something that will challenge and stretch your mind. Fiction, in particular, has been shown to enhance theory of mind—that is, the ability to see the world through the eyes of others. There’s no more useful capability in any kind of work—but you won’t get it reading stock charts or productivity primers.

If you don’t have time or patience for fiction, try reading about leadership from a wildly different angle. My favorite piece recently was by William Deresiewicz, a former English teacher at Yale, writing about leadership and solitude. It gave me more insight into true leadership than any of the books I’ve read on the topic. And yes, great leaders need solitude and time to think.

Why is reading off-topic good for you? Because it forces your mind to go to different places, to access different parts of your brain. And that’s the beginning of creativity: when ideas collide and spark new thoughts. Sticking to areas and information you’re comfortable with may feel great, but it’s only doubling down on what’s familiar. For real insight, your mind needs to travel.

So here are some suggestions:

Foreign literature: If you do business in foreign countries, read their literature. I do a lot of business in Italy and have been reading the novels of Elena Ferrante, author of Days of Abandonment. They are great stories, modern, and give a lot of insight into the reality—not the myths—of Italian life.

History: Ed Conway’s book, The Summit, is about the forging of the Bretton Woods agreement, which determined global economics after World War II. It is a master class in the power of personality and the genius of fierce collaboration. You have to ask: If 44 nations could solve this hard problem in just three weeks, what could you do in a business summit in just a few days?

Judgment and decision making: It’s hard to imagine a harder job than Kenneth Feinberg’s when he was appointed to decide how much compensation victims of 9/11 should receive from the federal government. His story of administering the fund—What Is Life Worth?is a masterpiece of judicious empathy.

Natural sciences: Martin Nowak’s SuperCooperators is a landmark work on the true science behind evolution and altruism. It’s a worthy riposte to the stale idea that we all need to compete forever.

Fun fiction: My favorite book this year has been Dave Eggars’s The Circle. Eric Schmidt says it isn’t about Google, but he’s either in denial or hasn’t read it. It is a marvelously acute portrayal of a superpowerful company that believes it knows what is best for us. My tech friends love it; my non-tech friends love it; neither can decide whether to laugh or cry.

But if you don’t like reading, there’s always the option of that empty room and mild electric shocks.

TIME Careers & Workplace

5 Things You Didn’t Know Sex Could Do for Your Career

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Having more sex has been linked to lower stress levels at work and higher pay

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

You’ve probably heard the saying “sex sells,” which is why sexy images appear so often in advertisements. But did you know sex can also improve your business and boost your career?

We often think of our business and personal lives as two entirely separate spheres, but in fact what happens at home and what happens at work often have overlapping effects. For instance, a stressful day at work can often send you home cranky, and workplace stress can elevate your blood pressure and cause everything from headaches to insomnia.

Similarly, happiness at home can have a calming effect at work, helping you make more clear-headed decisions and making you less likely to fall ill or feel overwhelmed with stress. Sure, sex sells, but it also has the power to improve your 9-to-5 life, whether you’re a worker bee or the boss. Here are just a few ways a good sex life can turn your career around:

1. People who have sex get paid more. Apparently there are some outside-of-the-bedroom perks for having more sex. One of those perks is a higher paycheck, at least according to research from the Institute for the Study of Labor. The study found people who have sex at least four times a week make more money than their peers who get less busy. It seems the correlation lies in how those who have more sex tend to be both happier and healthier, leading to more enthusiasm at work, better decisions, and less discrimination, which in turn leads to higher paychecks.

2. Sex reduces stress and prolongs health. Sex is a major stress reduction agent, which means better health and fewer sick days. According to the book Your Doctor is Wrong by Sharon Norling, frequent orgasms can increase life expectancy by three to eight years. Plus, a study by Arizona State University showed sexual behavior with a partner correlated with lower negative mood and higher positive mood the following day in middle-aged women.

3. Sex produces immune system-boosting hormones, resulting in fewer sick days. Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) is a hormone released during sexual encounters, and it has a whole host of benefits. Some of these include health benefits like reducing symptoms in women with lupus and alleviating depression. In fact, DHEA can even take years off your real age. According to a study by the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, people in their 40s who reported having 50 percent or more sex than their peers also appeared to be about seven to 13 years younger than their actual age when judged by a panel of strangers.

4. No more office migraines: Oxytocin is pain relief. Oxytocin, released during sex, is also important in pain relief. Often called the “love hormone,” oxytocin is also released during labor in order to relieve pain. With its power to help relieve pain, the hormone could keep you feel healthier in the office.

5. Entrepreneurship can actually improve your sex life. Taking control of your own destiny by becoming an entrepreneur can be empowering–and it can empower more than just your career prospects. A recent survey of entrepreneurs found 14 percent reported having more sex after ditching their 9-to-5 job. So it works both ways–more sex can help your career with better health and higher wages, and finally breaking out on your own and following your entrepreneurial dreams can lead to more sex.

You might think your career and your sex life are completely separate entities, but what happens at home and at work can often intersect in interesting ways. By spending more time with your partner, you’ll actually be improving your chances of getting that promotion or taking your business to the next level.

TIME Careers & Workplace

Here’s What Basically Everybody Gets Wrong at Work

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The one quality you need to make your mark

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This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

Ever wonder why some managers just can’t get along with their teams? Or have you seen a boss who’s lost touch with reality?

Maybe you’re the leader, and you’ve noticed a slow-but-sure disconnect from your team. What can you do about it?

You’ve heard the advice time and again: Learn to show more empathy.

Empathy is considered by many to be a basic human quality. So why is it often still missing in our day-to-day work?

Many persons confuse empathy with its closely related cousin sympathy. The two qualities are definitely related, but the key to demonstrating empathy is knowing the difference.

According to Merriam-Webster, empathy is “the feeling that you understand and share another person’s feelings and emotions.”

Whereas sympathy involves feeling sorry for someone, empathy requires us to go a step further, and it lasts longer. Here’s an example:

Imagine a colleague goes through a difficult situation; let’s say he loses a close family member in an accident. We naturally feel sympathy for him. We may even write a card or express those feelings somehow. For the most part, though, we move on with our lives.

But when we show empathy, we take more time–time to remember how we felt when we lost someone close to us (or how we would feel, if we haven’t had this experience). We think about how this affected our work, our relationships with others.

Even further, we try to imagine specifically how our colleague feels in this situation. We recognize that he (like every individual) will deal with the trauma in his own unique way.

Empathy has been described as “your pain in my heart.”

The problem is, despite the fact that we crave for others to try fitting into our shoes, we’re often not ready to do the same for them. We see this every day: broken marriages, strained parent-child relationships, deteriorating communication in the workplace. (Author Mike Robbins illustrates this perfectly here.)

If a leader can demonstrate true empathy to individual team members, it will go a long way toward encouraging them to perform at their best.

It may even inspire the team to show empathy for the leader.

That’s right—empathy begets empathy.

So how do you get your company leaders—and employees—to be more empathetic?

  • If you’re a manager, the next time an employee comes to you with a problem or complaint, resist the ‘Not again. What now?’ attitude. Try to remember: You once had a similar problem. If not, someone you respect did. Ask yourself: Why does this person feel this way? What can I do to make the situation better?
  • If a specific task or process is causing problems, try to work alongside a disgruntled team member, to better understand the person’s point of view. Showing empathy in this way takes time, but you will often motivate the one(s) you are trying to help. Not to mention the benefits this will bring to your working relationship.
  • If you are an employee who feels your manager is being especially unreasonable, try to understand why. Maybe the manager is dealing with extreme pressure of his or her own, or maybe there’s a problem at home, or maybe … you get the drift.

Simply put, empathy starts with giving others the benefit of the doubt.

Once, I learned the value of showing empathy firsthand. I had been working a number of years for the same organization, and was now engaged to my fiancée from Germany. As we were trying to determine where to start our new life together, my office made it clear that it was reducing personnel, and my department was being reorganized. I was being considered for a new position, and my fiancée and I decided that if I got it, I would remain in New York City and she would join me. If not, we would move.

I was told I would be informed of the decision within four to six weeks. Six weeks came and went. Then seven. Eight. Nine. The wedding date was getting closer, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take the suspense—I didn’t care anymore what happened; I just needed to know something.

After going through the normal HR channels, I decided to try something different. I wrote an email directly to Mr. Pierce—a member of the executive board who was the head of personnel (whom I had never met). Since our organization had about 6,000 staff members at the time, I wasn’t sure how he would take this: I was traveling to Germany to see my fiancée in a few days, and I thought it would be great to have some news to share with her personally. (Call me a romantic. Or call me stupid–I’ve heard both.)

After two months of anticipation, it took exactly two days after my email to get a decision. I then boarded a plane to Germany, and less than 12 hours later, my fiancée and I were planning our new life together—in New York City. We couldn’t have been happier.

Sadly, Mr. Pierce passed away some months ago. I’ve often wondered how many similar emails, letters, and requests he read throughout the years. A press release issued by my former agency made the following statement:

Mr. Pierce served on various committees … [and] his organizational responsibilities required that he travel extensively … Despite his workload, he was well known for never being too busy to listen to those needing assistance or advice, and he put others at ease with his warm smile and good sense of humor. His closest associates noted that people from different backgrounds or cultures were naturally drawn to him.

When Mr. Pierce read my email all those years ago, he wasn’t just reading the random request of a junior manager. He was reading my deep concerns and feelings. The problem was important to me, so it was important to him.

Mr. Pierce knew empathy. My pain in his heart.

Employer or employee, empathy makes us more flexible and compassionate. It makes us easier to work with, and in the eyes of others, it makes us more human.

So the next time you realize that the relationship you have with a colleague is not what you want, take the time to show some empathy.

It might be just what the person needs.

One day, it’ll be what you need, too.

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