A rundown of all the available models, highlighting the differences in search of the best value
Question: I need a new iPad, but I’m not sure which one I should get. Is the iPad Air 2 worth it or is one of the other models a better deal? I don’t really care if it’s a full-size iPad or one of the smaller ones. And I’m okay with spending $500, but if I don’t have to, obviously I would like to save some money. What are the main differences between all of them?
Short Answer: Last year’s iPad Mini 2 is a good deal at $299.
Long Answer: Someone who says “I need a new iPad” is apparently a rarity nowadays, with Apple having trouble convincing people to upgrade their tablets regularly. I’m part of the problem: I’ve been using an iPad 3 for the past million years and it still suits me fine.
Here’s a video comparison of all the currently-available iPads, which contains much of the advice you’ll otherwise read below:
iPad Air 2 ($499+)
If you have $500 to spend on an iPad, the new iPad Air 2 won’t disappoint. Of all the available models — there are now five: the iPad Air 2, the iPad Air, the iPad Mini 3, the iPad Mini 2 and the iPad Mini — the iPad Air 2 has the newest processor, which might help you squeeze an extra year out of it over one of the other models.
Don’t get too distracted by the iPad Air 2’s other specs, though. It’s thinner than the first iPad Air, yes, but we’re talking half of a tenth of an inch. It’s lighter, sure, but we’re talking 0.04 pounds for the Wi-Fi model. The big news here is the processor. The iPad Air 2 is also rumored to sport two gigabytes of RAM versus one gigabyte for all the other models, which should increase performance.
The iPad Air 2 has the fingerprint sensor that debuted with the iPhone 5S, which makes unlocking your iPad quick (assuming you lock it with a passcode) and lets you buy stuff from iTunes without typing in your password. You’ll also be able to log into certain third-party apps with your fingerprint as well.
Finally, the iPad Air 2 uses newer, thinner screen technology that makes colors pop a bit more. Apple added an anti-reflective coating as well. The front-facing camera is a little better than the previous model’s, and the Wi-Fi chip uses newer technology that allows it to connect to certain networks faster. Oh, and you can get it in gold (gold is best) and in a 128-gigabyte storage configuration.
iPad Air 2 ($499+) vs iPad Air ($399+)
Step “down” to last year’s iPad Air, and you lose the gold option. You get a less efficient processor. The screen is still the same resolution, but there’s no antireflective coating. It’s marginally, marginally, marginally less thin and light. The front-facing camera is five megapixels instead of eight. There’s no fingerprint sensor. It doesn’t connect to certain superfast Wi-Fi networks as fast as the iPad Air 2 does. It might not have as much RAM.
On paper, Apple makes a somewhat convincing case for going with the iPad Air 2 over the iPad Air. In reality, what you’re giving up in order to save $100 might not be all that important. The iPad Air is still plenty fast, plenty thin and plenty light.
iPad Air ($399+) vs iPad Mini 3 ($399+)
Now we’re going to basically step laterally to the iPad Mini 3, Apple’s newest iPad Mini model. Aside from it being smaller than the iPad Air models, under the hood, the iPad Mini 3 is almost identical to the iPad Air — all the way down to the $399 starting price. You do get the fingerprint sensor with the iPad Mini 3, the gold color option and the 128-gigabyte storage option. The processor, cameras, connections and just about everything else are the same.
iPad Mini 3 ($399+) vs iPad Mini 2 ($299+)
Here’s where things get interesting. The iPad Mini 3 and the iPad Mini 2 share pretty much the exact same innards, except that the iPad Mini 3 has the fingerprint reader, the gold color option and the 128-gigabyte storage option. For $299, the iPad Mini 2 is on par with both the iPad Mini 3 and the iPad Air, which makes the iPad Mini 2 a great deal relative to the other available iPads. As long as you don’t care about the fingerprint reader, you’re okay with the space gray or silver options, and you don’t have enormous storage requirements, the iPad Mini 2 is arguably the best bang for your buck.
iPad Mini 2 ($299+) vs iPad Mini ($249+)
Don’t fall for this one. You might save $50 by going with the original iPad Mini, but it’s got a much slower processor than all the other iPads and its screen is much lower-resolution. If ever you had a reason to cough up an extra $50, this is it. The iPad Mini at $250 allows Apple to offer an iPad that can kinda-sorta compete with low-cost Android tablets, except that any $250 Android tablet would almost certainly feature much more potent specs. This is half a marketing play by Apple (“iPad starts at $250!”) and half a chance to clear out leftover inventory of a two-year-old tablet.
If you’re looking for even more info, Apple has a handy iPad comparison page for your perusal.
- Buying Guide: Apple’s Holiday Gadgets Lineup
- Ask TIME Tech: Good Cheap Tablet for Skype?
- Amazon’s Kindles Compared: Voyage vs Paperwhite vs Standard
- Android 5.0 Lollipop: What’s New and When Can You Get It?
- 30-Second Tech Trick: Get Better iPhone Battery Life
Amazon’s Kindle e-book readers are generally hot holiday items, so let’s explore the various differences between the three available models.
Choosing by screen size is easy since they’re all six inches diagonally. Things change once we dig into resolutions and lighting technology.
The Kindle Voyage has the best screen, with a 300 pixels-per-inch resolution. The more pixels smooshed into an inch of screen, the better everything looks. The Kindle Paperwhite smooshes 212 pixels into an inch; the standard Kindle smooshes 167 pixels into an inch.
The big question is whether your eyes can discern the differences. I can tell you that when looking at the Paperwhite and the Voyage side by side, the difference is noticeable when looking at graphics and slightly less noticeable when looking at text. The standard Kindle looks… I wouldn’t say “the worst” because it doesn’t look bad. It just looks least good; let’s say that. I’d say the $40 jump from the standard Kindle to the Kindle Paperwhite is a much better value than the $80 jump from the Paperwhite to the Voyage, though.
The standard Kindle has no light; the Paperwhite and Voyage both have built-in lights. They both max out at nearly the same brightness, although the Voyage looks a little cleaner and whiter, and can automatically adjust its screen brightness to match your environment.
All three devices feature touchscreens, though the Kindle Voyage features squeeze-able side bezels that allow you to turn pages back and forth as well. There’s a nice little vibration feedback with each press when using the Voyage.
Video: Kindle Paperwhite vs Kindle Voyage
Here’s a closer look at the $119 Paperwhite up against the $199 Voyage, with some analysis of all three models at the end:
Wondering which Kindle can hold the most books? The answer is yes. Yes to any of them: They all have four gigabytes of storage, good for over a thousand books.
The Kindle Voyage is the smallest, measuring 6.4″ long by 4.5″ wide by 0.3″ thick and starting at 6.3 ounces (the 3G version weighs 6.6 ounces).
The Kindle Paperwhite measures 6.7″ long by 4.5″ wide by 0.36″ thick and starts at 7.3 ounces (the 3G version weighs 7.6 ounces). The standard Kindle measures 6.7″ long by 4.7″ wide by 0.4″ thick and weighs 6.7 ounces (there’s no 3G version).
They’re all incredibly portable. I’m not sure buying one over the other based on a tenth of an inch here or an ounce there makes a whole lot of sense, but those are the measurements.
The standard Kindle lasts up to four weeks on a single charge, assuming a half hour of reading each day with the wireless connection turned off. It fully charges within four hours.
The Kindle Voyage lasts up to six weeks on a single charge, assuming a half hour of reading each day with the wireless connection turned off and the light set at 10 (the max is 24). It fully charges within three hours.
The Kindle Paperwhite lasts up to eight weeks on a single charge, assuming a half hour of reading each day with the wireless connection turned off and the light set at 10 (the max is 24). It fully charges within four hours.
So as we see here, the Paperwhite actually has the best battery life. That’s probably a factor of its screen not having to push as many pixels around as the Voyage’s screen. The Paperwhite being ever so slightly thicker than the Voyage might make for a slightly higher-capacity battery as well.
3G or Not 3G?
That is the question. Adding a 3G cellular connection to your Kindle Paperwhite or Kindle Voyage adds $70 to the price tag, but results in being able to download books anywhere you have an AT&T signal — over 100 countries and territories are covered (see this map). There are no monthly service charges for downloading books, though you might incur added charges for downloading magazines and other periodicals.
If you read a lot of books and want to be able to download new ones frequently — especially while you’re on the move — the 3G version of whichever Kindle you’re considering is a no-brainer. If you’re going to be using the Kindle at home a lot or you’ll be around accessible Wi-Fi networks, save the $70.
To be clear, the new Kindle Voyage is an amazing e-book reader. It’s super portable, its screen is gorgeous and the added haptic-feedback page turns are a nice touch. However, the $119 Kindle Paperwhite is still a dynamite e-book reader and is a very worthy upgrade for $40 over the standard Kindle because of its higher-resolution screen and its built-in light. Making the $80 jump from the $119 Paperwhite to the $199 Voyage is simply a much tougher sell.
The next sweeping overhaul of Android — Android 5.0 Lollipop — is just around the bend. Here’s a look at some of its most notable additions, along with some insight as to when you might be able to get your hands on it.
The most noticeable difference is the overall look and feel of the operating system. Google’s using what it calls “Material Design,” making extensive use of animations and layered elements to deliver what the company promises is a more intuitive experience.
In layman’s terms, let’s just say there’s more swooping and sliding. And you’ll notice a more uniform design across Android devices in general — phones, tablets, watches, TV gadgets, car audio systems and more. If you have multiple Android gadgets, they’ll work together more harmoniously than before.
You can see a bit of how Material Design looks up until about the 30-second mark of this video:
Battery life should be an improvement. Developers will be able to better fine-tune their apps so they don’t use as much juice, and there’s a new power-saving mode that lets you squeeze up to 90 extra minutes out of your phone if you can’t find an outlet. When you get around to charging your phone, it’ll tell you how long it’ll be until it’s at 100%.
Security gets beefed up as well, with encryption turned on by default to prevent data from being accessed on lost or stolen devices. (Authorities aren’t too happy about this.) Note that you can turn encryption on yourself if you’re running an earlier version of Android. Here’s how (follow up until the part about resetting your phone). For an extra layer of security, you’ll be able to unlock your phone or tablet only when it’s in proximity to your Android smartwatch.
There are also some cool new multi-user features, like being able to use a friend’s phone in guest mode. And if you log in with your Google credentials, you’ll be able to make calls and access your messages, photos and other data as though you were using your own phone.
Notifications also get a much-needed overhaul. They’ll now be ranked and presented based on priority. Ideally, messages from people you want to hear from will be most prominent, while some obscure app telling you it’s been updated won’t get as much screen time. You’ll be able to finesse how often you’re notified with a new “priority” mode that’ll only let certain people contact you or will let you turn off notifications altogether between certain hours.
On newer phones, you’ll enjoy fewer button presses. If the hardware supports it, you’ll be able to say “Okay, Google” to wake the phone up to help you search for something or set reminders without touching it. Some phones will simply wake up when you pick them up or double-tap the screen.
You can see a more complete list of features here; scroll down to the bottom and click the “See All Features” link.
When Can I Get It?
It depends on your device and your carrier. Google’s “Nexus”-branded devices (Nexus 4, 5, 6, 7, 9 and 10) will have access to Android 5.0 sometime in November. Certain “Google Play edition” devices (the HTC One M8 and the Moto G, almost certainly) should see the update around the same time. The new Nexus 9 tablet is the only device with a firm date — November 3; the big-screen Nexus 6 smartphone is due “in stores in November,” says Google.
The official word is as follows:
Android 5.0 Lollipop, which comes on Nexus 6, Nexus 9 and Nexus Player, will also be available on Nexus 4, 5, 7, 10 and Google Play edition devices in the coming weeks.
After that, things get even murkier. Dan Graziano over at CNET has a roundup of moving-targets HTC, Samsung, Motorola, LG and Sony, so keep an eye on that post as it’s to be updated as things progress.
As for whether or not your device is eligible to get Android 5.0, there’s a loose 18-month window for certain Android devices. Google’s official word: “Devices may not receive the latest version of Android if they fall outside of the update window, traditionally around 18 months after a device release.” And that’s only for Nexus and Google Play devices; check with your carrier to see if they can shed any light on your situation. If you’ve had your phone for more than a year, you might be on the fence depending when the phone was initially released.
For a company that’s made a lot of money by selling the concept of simplicity, Apple’s holiday lineup features an almost overwhelming number of gadgets. Here’s a look at the main product lines, along with some buying advice for each category.
MacBook Air Laptops ($899+)
When it comes to Apple’s portable computer lineup, you’ve got the less expensive, more portable MacBook Air line or the more expensive, more powerful MacBook Pro line.
There are two base models to choose from in the MacBook Air line: an 11-incher starting at $899 and a 13-incher starting at $999. They were last updated in April of 2014.
The 11-inch model is — surprise — the more portable of the two, weighing in around 2.4 pounds. However, for $100 extra, the 13-inch model gives you a higher-resolution screen, three additional hours of battery life (9 for the 11-inch, 12 for the 13-inch), and an SD memory card slot.
Product Page [Apple.com]
MacBook Pro Laptops ($1299+)
The more potent of Apple’s portables, the MacBook Pro line consists of 13- and 15-inch models with super high-resolution “Retina” screens and a top-of-the-line model with a starting price (before custom configuration) of $2499. The line was last updated in late July of 2014.
They’re still plenty portable: Each model measures less than three quarters of an inch thick, with the 13-incher weighing just shy of 3.5 pounds and the 15-incher weighing just shy of 4.5 pounds.
Making the leap from the base 13-inch model to the base 15-inch model commands a $700 price premium, but nets you a better processor, double the RAM, double the storage, and higher-resolution screen with a better graphics chip. You lose an hour of battery life with the 15-inch model (eight hours versus nine hours for the 13-incher), and there are a couple upgraded 13-inch models to choose from ($1499 and $1799) before you get to the first 15-inch model.
Note that there’s also an aging non-Retina 13-inch MacBook Pro that’s still for sale with a $1099 starting price. It’s not touted on Apple’s main MacBook Pro page, however, and hasn’t been updated for quite a while. It’s been rumored that it’s being killed off entirely. You can do better with $1099.
Product Page [Apple.com]
iMac All-in-Ones ($1099+)
Apple’s all-in-one desktop line comes in 21.5-inch models starting at $1099 and 27-inch models starting at $1799. They were last updated in late September of 2013, with the entry-level model added in mid-June of 2014. The Retina 5K model was added in mid-October 2014 with a $2499 starting price.
The entry-level $1099 jobber tends to steer you into taking a good, hard look at the next step up; a $1299 21.5-inch model which, for $200, gets you a much better processor (2.7GHz quad-core versus a 1.4GHz dual-core), double the storage space, higher-end RAM, and a better graphics chip.
Stepping up to the baseline 27-inch model (starts at $1799), gets you a super high-resolution screen (2560 x 1440), a better processor and a better graphics chip. You’re paying mostly for the enormous 27-inch screen. It’s a really nice screen — I use one for work on occasion — but the rest of the system’s innards aren’t mind-blowing by any means. You can do some custom upgrades to increase the mind-blowingness, of course.
Find another $700 in your couch cushions, and you can step up to the all-new Retina iMac, which starts at $2499 and sports an insanely high-resolution screen (5120 x 2880). Apple blew right past “4K” and is calling this “5K” instead. Aside from the screen technology, this model starts out with a quad-core Intel processor, a faster graphics chip and a faster one-terabyte hybrid (solid-state + standard storage) hard drive.
Mac Mini ($499+)
The diminutive Mac Mini desktop is still kicking, with a $499 starting price (d0wn from $599) and the continued understanding that you’ll need to bring your own monitor, keyboard and mouse. There’s a $699 model that gets you almost double the processing speed, double the storage, double the RAM and a better graphics chip. Tough choice, to be honest.
Product Page [Apple.com]
Mac Pro ($2,999+)
The Mac Pro comes in quad- and six-core configurations, starting at more than many people’s monthly mortgage payments. If you’re buying this as a gift for someone, you are incredibly generous, well-off or both. Either way: congratulations on all your success!
You should check with this person to see what he or she actually wants out of a Mac Pro. This isn’t a great “surprise” gift, in other words. At the most basic, however, an extra $1000 jumps you from four to six processing cores, and gets you more RAM and a better graphics chip.
Product Page [Apple.com]
You have four iPhone models to choose from, running the price gamut from free with a two-year contract to $499 with a two-year contract.
iPhone 6 Plus ($299+)
Starting on the left-hand side of the above image, the iPhone 6 Plus is Apple’s biggest phone to date. With a 5.5-inch screen, it straddles the tablet-phone chasm with a starting price of $299 with a two-year contract. Going this big (and expensive) gets you a higher-resolution screen than the iPhone 6, optical image stabilization, and longer battery life.
iPhone 6 ($199+)
Apple’s flagship phone until (probably) late 2015, the iPhone 6 attempts to summon Goldilocks with a not-too-big, not-too-small 4.7-inch screen. Apple promises up to 14 hours of 3G talk time or up to 10 hours of web surfing. Like all iPhones, an extra $100 for each trim level gets you more storage, though where previous lines doubled the storage for every $100 you spent, the 6 and 6 Plus jump you from 16 gigabytes to 64 gigabytes this time around. Another $100 pops things up to 128 gigabytes.
iPhone 5S ($99+)
Last year’s flagship model, the iPhone 5S sports a four-inch screen, fingerprint sensor, decent processor and 8-10 hours of continuous-use battery life. It’s still a fine phone, with a good camera and a 32-gigabyte storage option that costs an extra $50.
iPhone 5C (Free)
On the low end, the iPhone 5C is free with a two-year contract, comes in five colors and is available with eight gigabytes of storage. For all intents and purposes, this is a late-2012 iPhone 5 gussied up and re-released in late 2013. An extra $100 gets you more processing power and double the storage in an iPhone 5S, but if you don’t care about that and you don’t care about the fingerprint reader, this one’s a solid choice as a free phone.
Product Page [Apple.com]
You have five iPad models to choose from. Starting prices range from $249 to $499.
iPad Air 2 ($499+)
The first version of the iPad Air was thinner than a pencil at 0.29 inches. Thanks to a new anti-reflective screen, the iPad Air 2 is thinner than that at 0.24 inches — an 18% reduction — and slightly lighter (like, 0.04 pounds lighter). There’s a souped-up iPhone 6/6 Plus processor onboard, too (the A8X), which Apple says is 40% faster than previous efforts.
Battery life remains 10 hours, as before, and the rear camera has been bumped from five to eight megapixels and can capture time-lapse and slow-motion videos. The front camera has been improved, as well, and wireless connections have been bolstered to provide faster data access.
The newest iPad Air rounds things out by adding the TouchID fingerprint sensor that debuted with the iPhone 5S, so you can unlock the tablet and log into apps and sites without typing passcodes. It’ll be available in gold, silver and gray, and there’s a new 128-gigabyte storage option available starting at $699.
Late November 2013’s iPad Air is sticking around, though this time with a $399 starting price (down from $499). This is still a more-than-fine full-size iPad. Spending the extra $100 on the iPad Air 2 gets you something marginally thinner and marginally lighter, with a better rear-facing camera, the fingerprint sensor and a beefed up processor. If none of these are super important to you, the iPad Air is now a comparatively good deal.
iPad Mini 3
The iPad Mini 3 is almost pound-for-pound a shrunken-down iPad Air, all the way down to the $399 starting price. You do get the fingerprint sensor, so there’s that. There’s also a 128-gigabyte option (the iPad Air tops out at 32 gigabytes). It’s smaller and lighter, too, of course (although not thinner) with a starting weight of 0.73 pounds.
iPad Mini 2
If you’re interested in a small iPad, the iPad Mini 2 looks like a really good bet, actually. It’s very similar to the iPad Mini 3, but doesn’t feature the gold color option, the 128-gigabyte storage option or the fingerprint reader. Just about everything else is there, minus $100 off the starting price.
The iPad Mini is sticking around, with a starting price of $249. If ever you were to try to scrounge up an extra $50, this is the time to do it. Stepping up to the iPad Mini 2 gets you a much better screen and a much better processor. If the price was $199, it’d be a much harder decision. This thing’s already two years old, though.
Product Page [Apple.com]
iPods and Apple TV ($49+)
iPod Shuffle ($49)
This is one of the cheapest Apple gadgets to own. A handful of sawbucks will get you a wearable music player good for 15 hours of playback that can hold hundreds of songs (up to around 500 if you really compress them, but bank on a couple hundred at least). Keep in mind that you’ll need a computer to transfer songs: This little guy has no wireless connection.
Product Page [Apple.com]
iPod Nano ($149)
The iPod Nano is a good option if you’re looking for a pocketable gadget that can be used for working out, watching video, looking at photos and listening to music. Like the iPod Shuffle, you’ll need to use a computer to load stuff onto it, but it does feature a Bluetooth connection you can use to sync it to your car’s audio system or wireless headphones. And there’s Nike+ integration if you want to track your workouts.
Product Page [Apple.com]
iPod Touch ($199+)
Buying an iPod Touch is basically like buying a phone-less iPhone 4S, specs-wise. It’s a great option for kids who aren’t ready for a full-fledged cell phone (and the monthly bill it entails), but who want access to apps and a decent camera and fun stuff like that. Best of all, you don’t need a computer to load content onto it; just a Wi-Fi network.
Product Page [Apple.com]
Apple TV ($99)
Hooking an Apple TV box up to your TV serves two main purposes. One: You can use it to stream music and video from popular services like Netflix and other providers. Second: You can use its AirPlay feature to sling content from your iPhone, iPad, MacBook and other Apple gadgets, expanding it for viewing on the biggest screen in your house. Your TV is the biggest screen in your house, right? Right?!
Product Page [Apple.com]
Find juice-sucking apps and kill them with extreme prejudice. Or just make them use less battery. Up to you.+ READ ARTICLE
We've got a $100 limit and a bunch of real-time video to sling back and forth. Let's go!
Question: My husband and I recently had our first child and we want to be able to Skype with my mom and dad. We (my husband and I) both have iPhones and iPads, so we looked in to FaceTime, but an iPad or iPhone for my parents seemed too expensive. They have a computer, but they don’t like using it all that much, although that could be an option in a pinch. Is there a good, inexpensive tablet we could get them, though? We’d like to keep it around $100 or less if possible.
Short answer: Get Amazon’s Kindle Fire HD 6 for $99 or use their existing computer for free.
Long answer: FaceTime is great if everyone has Apple produ–I’m so sorry: Congratulations on your new baby! I just launched right into the answer like a nerdy robot. Rude. I have a child, too. He’s about to turn one. We actually have a similar problem in my family, too, with everyone on different mobile platforms.
Anyway, enough with the small talk. To get Mom and Dad on the FaceTime train, your cheapest option would be to get them an iPod Touch, which is like a phone-less iPhone. Those start at $200; iPads and iPhones go up from there.
Now, if they have a relatively new-ish Mac computer, they’re already able to FaceTime with you guys. They can downloaded FaceTime from the Mac App Store here if they don’t already have it. It’s free. And if they have just about any type of computer with a webcam, they can use Skype for free — download it here.
An easy, cheap, portable option that doesn’t tie Mom and Dad to the computer, though, would be Amazon’s Kindle Fire HD 6 tablet. It’s got a powerful enough processor to handle Skype video chats, sports both front- and rear-facing cameras — which is an area where cheap tablets tend to skimp by only including one camera — and has an easy-to-use interface.
The screen measures six inches diagonally, which is small for a tablet. That makes it easy to hold in one hand, but if your parents have poor eyesight or they just want to watch Junior waddle around on as big a screen as possible, this option is almost like giving them an oversized smartphone. The screen itself is sharp, though.
You didn’t mention which kinds of iPhones you and your husband have, but here’s the Amazon tablet sandwiched in between a Kindle Paperwhite e-reader on the left and an iPhone 5S on the right:
The tablet is sized like a thicker, heavier e-reader. Your parents can read books on it, too, along with doing a bunch of other stuff, so that might be a bonus. If they want to use it only for Skype, that’s perfectly fine.
Once they get the tablet, here’s a quick step-by-step for installing Skype. You can either send them to this article and have them watch this quick video or tell them what to do by stepping them through the directions after the video:
Basically, they’ll want to tap “Apps” at the top of the tablet’s main screen, then “Store” in the upper-right corner (there’s a shopping-cart icon), then “Search” in the upper-right corner, then type “Skype” and hit the magnifying glass in the lower-right corner of the keyboard.
Careful: That magnifying glass is right above another magnifying glass that searches the entire tablet. And there are two Skype apps that pop up in the search results. They’ll want to tap the second one. The first one is called “Skype WiFi” and searches for Wi-Fi hotspots. They want the second one: plain old “Skype” with the “S” logo.
They’ll need to create a Skype account, of course. They can create one here or from directly within the app when it first launches.
Come on, you're making some decent money now. Live a little! Consider blowing your paycheck on these worthy splurges.
Coffee Warmer USB Hub ($16.99)
Two questions: Do you like drinking lukewarm coffee? Do you like crawling under your desk to plug in all your gadgets? No, no, a thousand times no to both questions. This is the greatest country in the world: Why shouldn’t you own a device that keeps your coffee warm and lets you plug four USB gadgets into it? It’s called convergence, and you’re the new Convergence Sheriff in this office. Carl Andrews from Biz Dev was the former sheriff but he quit when he bought a B&B up in Kennebunkport in order to make a go of it in the burgeoning hospitality industry. Greatest country in the world, and all: you’ve gotta take advantage of those business opportunities.
Bulletproof Clipboard ($39.99)
Look, you could spend a few bucks on a clipboard that doesn’t stop bullets. But why not spend $40 on a clipboard that does stop bullets. For starters, it’s quite a conversation piece. I don’t know about you, but in my line of work, we talk about clipboards on a daily basis. Having a bulletproof clipboard adds a certain je-ne-sais-quoi to just about any clipboard-related conversation. If you’re in a clipboard-related conversation and the other person isn’t interested in your bulletproof clipboard, walk away. It’s not worth pursuing, personally or professionally.
Heated Lotion Dispenser ($39.95)
Your reputation at work is that of a normal, down-to-earth, model employee. Let’s shake things up a bit. Bring this dispenser into the office and you could be known as the creepy, hot-lotion person. Someone stops by your desk to chat about clipboards? Send them on their way with a handful of hot, greasy lotion. People in a meeting need a little perking up? “Hey, you guys are more than welcome to some of my hot lotion,” you’ll say. Your boss wants to talk about your performance? Make sure that initial handshake is firm and hot, yet baby-skin soft.
Zamboni Desk Vacuum ($14.94)
It’s come to my attention that some of you didn’t grow up in Minnesota like I did. But where I come from, the Zamboni is more highly-revered than the sportiest of sports cars. All kids want one, but only one kid in your high school grows up to drive one on a daily basis (Hi, Rob!). Thankfully, the mighty Zamboni has been shrunken down and outfitted with some potent suction, perfect for snorting up all those unsightly Cheez-It bits you have a habit of dropping. Just as your body is a temple, so too is your desk a hockey rink of productivity. Keep it clean.
Mousing-Hand Garage ($38.98)
Other than stepping in a puddle while wearing socks, there’s not much worse than saddling up to a cold desk surface first thing in the morning in the dead of winter. How are you supposed to gracefully tab through those mountainous spreadsheets when your dexterity’s been compromised by sub-optimal hand and wrist temperatures?! This USB-powered hand garage keeps your digits nice and toasty while you’re clicking and scrolling during even the most blustery of nor’easters.