TIME New Jersey

Watch Chris Christie Get Totally Defensive About Being Friends With Bruce Springsteen

Chris + Bruce 4Ever

Correction applied Wednesday, August 20

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie lost his cool Tuesday after a state resident suggested that the Bruce Springsteen superfan might not be in the Boss’s good graces.

After being asked about a rumor that Springsteen had requested Christie stop using his music at his rallies (a rumor that has not been substantiated), Christie totally freaked, as seen in this video from NJ.com.

“No. Never did that. No, you’re wrong about that,” Christie said. “Bruce has never asked me to do that. He never has. You’re wrong.”

The New Jersey resident then asked about whether he had been dancing with Bon Jovi in the Hamptons, prompting Christie to remind her that he has many celebrity friends besides Springsteen.

“I wasn’t dancing with Bon Jovi, actually, I was dancing with Jamie Foxx,” he said. “So if you’re gonna be cute, we should get the story right.”

But of all his famous friends, the Boss is Christie’s BFF. In fact, they hung out just recently!

“I saw Bruce about a week and a half ago,” Christie said. “And he had every opportunity to tell me not to, he didn’t, and he never has told me not to. Listen, I know him and you’re wrong. I know Bruce, and I’ve spoken to Bruce, and you’re wrong.”

The governor appeared furious at the insinuation that he and Bruce were on the outs, although he did not provide any proof of their friendship, such as letters from camp, friendship bracelets, or selfies. He ended by telling the female journalist, who seemed very calm, to calm down.

“When I leave, just so we can have this lady be a little calmer, let’s play Bon Jovi on the way out,” he said, adding: “If you want to debate, run for governor and I’ll debate you.”

Correction: The original version of the story incorrectly described the woman who confronted Christie. She was a New Jersey resident.

[NJ.com]

TIME Sex

Here’s What a 100-Year-Old Sex Therapist Thinks is Wrong With Sex Today

She says our hectic work lives are killing our sex lives

+ READ ARTICLE

She was born before the invention of the stop sign, but sex therapist Shirley Zussman has some thoughts on ‘hooking up.’ “I don’t think it’s as frantic as casual sex was in the sixties,” she says, noting that modern ‘hooking up’ isn’t as exciting without the context of a sexual revolution. Besides, she adds: “In the long run, sexual pleasure is just one part of what men and women want from each other.”

At 100, Dr. Zussman is still a practicing sex therapist in New York City. In the 50-plus years since she began counseling people about all things related to sex, Dr. Zussman has witnessed everything from the legalization of the contraceptive birth control pill in 1960 (she started in sex therapy shortly afterwards) to the AIDs epidemic in the 1980s to the rise of internet porn in the new millennium.

She’s one of the oldest sex therapists in the world, but that might be the least extraordinary thing about her life and career. Born at the beginning of World War I, she graduated from Smith college in 1934, in the same class as Julia Child. Zussman was mentored through her graduate dissertation by Margaret Mead, and in the 1960s learned about sex therapy from Masters and Johnson, the inspiration for the Showtime series Masters of Sex. Her husband, a gynecologist, performed one of the first legal abortions in New York.

Here’s what she has to say about casual sex, cell phones, and how our hectic work lives are changing our attitudes toward sex.

On how being busy hurts your sex life:

“The use of time is very different in our society today. People are busy all the time. That was not true when I was growing up. At this stage of our development, we want to cover everything, we want to know everything, we want to do everything, and there’s also [our personal] economy which requires an immense amount of time and effort…There is a limit to how much energy and desire and time you can give to one person when there is all this pressure make more money, to be the CEO, to buy a summer house, people want more and more and more. Desire requires a certain amount of energy.

It’s a consequence of being exhausted…The most common problem I see is a lack of desire, a lack of interest. I had a patient say to me, ‘ I love my husband, I love making love to him, but I come home from work, I’ve been with people all day, I just want to crash.’”

On an increased openness about sex:

“I don’t think that the stigma around sex therapy exists like it was in the early years. People were ashamed they had to go to a psychiatrist or a social worker, because it means they needed help. Many people resist the idea that somebody needs to tell them how to have sex.”

“There were changes in the culture, too, there was the sexual revolution. There was the development of the pill, women were freer to let not worry so much about getting pregnant, there was every magazine and TV program talking about sex, there was every advertisement using sex to sell their product. There was an overwhelming immersion in the whole idea of getting more pleasure out of sex. It was not just about having babies.”

On what she learned from Masters and Johnson:

“They were recognizing that it was not all just glamorous and wonderful to be sexual, but that one almost had to learn to be a good partner…Their way of communicating was one of their greatest contributions, and that was not to talk so much about it, but to start with touching and caressing and stroking and kissing, and not rush for that golden bell in the middle of the carousel. It doesn’t start with the man having an erection and then you have intercourse, 1,2,3.”

And what she thinks of the TV show:

“I went to the preview party and met some of the actors in it. I was introduced to Michael Sheen, and he knew that I had known Masters and Johnson, so he said ‘tell me, how do you think I’m representing him?’ I said, ‘I think youre doing a pretty good job, but there’s a major difference.’ He said, ‘whats that?’ I said, ‘you’re handsome.’”

On her weirdest experience in 50 years of sex therapy:

“Someone called me and said he needed some help. He said ‘I’m a bad boy and I’m looking for someone for spankings.’ I had to make it clear that that’s not within my range of expertise.”

On the difference between casual sex in the 60s and ‘hooking up’ today:

“I think there’s a big change in the way we view casual sex. In the 60s it wasn’t just casual—it was frantic. It was something you expected to happen to you, you wanted it to happen, it was sort of a mad pursuit of sexual pleasure. But I think over time the disadvantages of that kind of behavior began to become apparent. There was the emotional crash– the intimacy was not there in the way that people need and want. There was a concern about sexual diseases, and then eventually AIDS made a major impact on calming that excitement.”

I think what was expected of casual sex – frantic sex– was something that didn’t deliver. Because in the long run, sexual pleasure is just one part of what men and women want from each other. They want intimacy, they want closeness, they want understanding, they want fun, and they want someone who really cares about them beyond just going to bed with them.”

I think hooking up includes some aspect of the kind of sex we were just talking about, but in a very much modified, and limited way. It’s not as frantic.”

On the popularity of oral sex:

“Oral sex was always part of the picture. I think primitive people learned how to get pleasure from oral sex, we just didn’t know about it. Oral sex was never talked about in your mother’s generation or my mother’s generation or my generation in the early days.”

On internet pornography:

“There’s nothing new about pornography. It’s been around since prehistoric days…I think that’s a healthy thing that people have the ability and the freedom to allow themselves to fantasize. But I have a number of patients who sit in front of the computer and watch pornography online, and somehow lose interest in seeking a partner. I see that a lot in some single men who don’t make the effort to go out in the world to face the issues, face the possible rejection—they satisfy their sexual needs sitting in front of the computer and masturbating.”

On living to be 100:

“We’ve been brainwashed to think that we all become couch potatoes when we’re old. You have to have expectations of yourself! You can make friends in many different ways, but you have to make the effort. You can’t say ‘oh , all my friends died,’ or ‘they’re sick,’ or ‘they don’t want to do what I want to do.’ You have to make an effort to find those new people. They don’t just come running to your door the way they might have when you were growing up.”

On the evils of cell phones:

“I’m shocked at the lack of connection between people because of iPhones. There is so much less of actual physical connection. There’s less touching, there’s less talking, there’s less holding, there’s less looking. People get pleasure from looking at each other. From a smile, and touching. We need touching to make us feel wanted and loved. That’s lacking so much in this generation. Lack of looking, lack of touching, lack of smiling. I don’t get it. I don’t get how people aren’t missing that, and don’t seem to think they are.”

 

 

 

TIME Opinion

Why Troubled Politicians Blame Women Even When It’s Not a Sex Scandal

Former Virginia Gov. McDonnell And Wife Appear In Court For Federal Corruption Case
Former Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell and his wife, Maureen leave the court on January 24, 2014 in Richmond, Virginia after pleading not guilty to a 14 count criminal indictment from federal grand jury charging that the couple violated federal corruption laws by using their positions to benefit a wealthy businessman who gave them gifts and loans. (Mark Wilson--Getty Images) Mark Wilson—Getty Images

The trial of former Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell shows that it's convenient to have a female scapegoat

Updated August 20, 10:10 am

Men have been blaming their screw-ups on women ever since the Garden of Eden. Because Adam totally didn’t mean to eat that apple! He only did it because that crazy Eve chick tricked him into it. She must have had a crush on the snake.

This week, former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell’s defense team started bringing witnesses to testify about Maureen McDonnell’s craziness and the former governor’s saintliness. The couple is facing federal corruption charges related to luxury gifts and loans they accepted from a political donor. The defense strategy so far has been to pin the blame for the whole mess on the ex-governor’s wife, Maureen McDonnell, saying she had a “crush” on big donor Jonnie R. Williams, Sr., but wasn’t a public official herself so lavish presents to her don’t count as corruption.

Williams, who testified for federal prosecutors under a generous immunity deal, denied any romantic intrigue with Mrs. McDonnell, saying his relationship with the family was a business transaction to help sell health supplements through his company, Star Scientific. “I thought the governor could help bring this product to the marketplace, and it was not the right thing to do,” he testified.

But the defense is arguing that the Governor didn’t have anything to do with the $165,000 in cash and gifts that Williams gave him over a two-year period, it was just little ol’ Maureen being a silly woman in love. Love makes women dumb, right?

Longtime aide McDonnell Janet Vestal Kelly testified for the defense on Monday, calling the former Governor “Mr. Honest,” but said his wife was “diva-ish” and “pathologically incapable of taking any responsibility.” She explained that it was “well known” that Mrs. McDonnell would “hide things,” and that she seemed “kind of flirty” with Williams. Kelly said she didn’t want to “pile on” the former First Lady, but that her staff even worried that Mrs. McDonnell might be mentally ill and they once staged a mutiny because she was so difficult to work for. The defense also presented a letter signed by Mrs. McDonnell’s staff detailing the “worst kind of bullying.” And on Tuesday, Mrs. McDonnell’s sister-in-law, also named Maureen, testified that she was “very manipulative, very unpredictable and very deceptive.” Suddenly, it’s the First Lady’s personality that’s on trial, not her husband’s role as an elected official.

It’s possible that Maureen McDonnell is the lovesick crazy woman the defense team is making her out to be (she did text Williams “I just felt the earth move, and I wasn’t having sex” after an earthquake.) But it’s also possible this is an elaborate ruse to blame the wife in order to get both McDonnells out of some serious prison time. (They face 14 counts of public corruption, obstruction of justice and lying on financial documents.) This could be a clever experiment in political alchemy: by transforming a corruption scandal into a sex scandal, it puts the focus on the woman’s behavior instead of the money trail. And it makes sense: sex scandals are easier for the public to understand, and blaming the woman tends to take some of the heat off the man — just ask Paula Broadwell or Rielle Hunter.

But now “blaming the woman” (or using a woman’s behavior to distract pesky critics and prosecutors), is becoming a catch-all strategy for exonerating male politicians from calamities that might not have much to do with sex at all. Chris Christie said he was “blindsided” by the scandal surrounding the George Washington Bridge closures in Fort Lee, N.J., which he says was orchestrated by his aide Bridget Anne Kelly (who was later publicly shamed for a “personal relationship” she had with another staff member.) Chinese politician Bo Xilai blamed his “crazy” wife for embezzling government money and taking bribes last year (she was convicted in 2012 of murdering a British business associate.) Newt Gingrich staffers blamed the collapse of his 2011 Presidential campaign on a takeover by his wife Callista. And former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens blamed the $250,000 worth of home renovations from a wealthy oil contractor that led to federal corruption charges in 2008 on his wife, Catherine (an investigation later found that prosecutors withheld evidence that would have helped Stevens, who lost his Senate seat and then died in a 2010 plane crash.) None of these were explicitly sex scandals, but they were still spun as the woman’s fault.

Of course, the woman isn’t always blameless — for Stevens, at least, there might have been some truth to his claim that Catherine paid the renovation bills and he might not have known about the thousands of dollars worth of gifts. And it’s possible that Maureen McDonnell did accept Williams’s money without her husband’s knowledge (although this picture of the Governor driving Williams’s car makes that seem unlikely.) Some lawyers say McDonnell’s “crush” defense is so nutty it just might work, others say it could be the truth. But it’s still a mighty convenient tactic, and it’s not just used by men; Hillary Clinton was all too willing to blame Monica Lewinsky for the affair with Bill, even though Lewinsky was a young, inexperienced intern and Bill Clinton was the President of the United States.

The trend could be an unfortunate byproduct of women’s rights; as women are seen as increasingly capable of succeeding, they’re also seen as increasingly capable of screwing up. For example, Mary Todd Lincoln was famous for overspending on White House decorations and falsifying spending records, but Lincoln didn’t try to blame any of his political woes on her (then again Honest Abe had bigger fish to fry.)

There’s an old saying that says, “behind every great man, there’s a great woman.” These days, it seems the inverse is also true: in front of every embarrassed man is an embarrassing woman.

TIME career

Watch John Oliver’s Hilarious Take on the Gender Pay Gap

The monkey part is priceless

John Oliver’s on a roll these days. After his spot-on critique of the situation in Ferguson in Sunday’s episode, he eviscerated all the excuses given for gender pay gap, and the insanity about nitpicking over whether the gap was 77 cents or 88 cents or 96 cents or whatever. His point is that any pay gap is a problem, even if it’s only four cents.

Watch all the way to the end to see a hilarious fake ad for “Ladybucks,” or money for women that’s worth less than money for men. And click here to see our take on how much each bill would be worth if it had a woman on it instead of a man.

TIME career

Women: What Does Success Mean to You? Take Our Poll

For most women, the definition of "success" is constantly changing. How does yours stack up?

A new national poll conducted for Time and Real Simple asked women how they define success and what it takes to get there. The results revealed that a woman’s view of success changes significantly as she ages and is heavily influenced by whether she wants to have children. Young women tend to be more ambitious, with 73% saying it was “very important” for them to be successful at work, compared to 37% of women in their 60s. And while 48% of 20-somethings said they cared about being promoted within their company (compared to 20% of women in their 60s), 57% of older women said being spiritual was important to success (compared to 42% of younger women). In other words, older women tend to have a much broader and less conventional definition of success. (You can read more about our poll here.)

How does your definition of success compare to other women’s? How different are women from men in the way they think about their careers? Take this quiz and find out:

(These results were based on the interviews conducted by the polling company Penn Shoen Berland with 1000 women and 300 men from May 16, 2014 to May 22, 2014.)

TIME career

How Cinnabon President Kat Cole Went from Hostess to COO: 9 Tips for Success

Courtesy of Kat Cole

And why it can be useful to eavesdrop in the ladies room

These days Cinnabon President Kat Cole spends her time running a $1 billion dollar baked goods company, but she started out as a teenage daughter of a single mom, hostessing at a Hooters restaurant to make money during high school. By 19, Cole had mastered all the different jobs at Hooters, so she was sent to Australia to help open a new location there, and that’s when her career took off. Cole says there are people who think “there’s no way a 19-year old gets that opportunity, she must have been sleeping her way to the top.” Besides the fact that the accusations are ludicrous (and all five of Cole’s bosses at Hooters were women), Cole says those kind of charges are just another example of why we need more women in business. “What’s sad about this is that you have so few examples of women moving up, so the only way to fill in the gaps is filth,” she says.

Take Our Poll: What Does Success Mean to You?

Cole, 36, moved to the Atlanta-based Cinnabon in 2010, where she now oversees one of the world’s most famous bakery franchises with more than 1,100 locations. So what kind of advice does Cole have for other women who want to climb the corporate ladder?

1) Inspire your staff: Cole attributes much of her success as a manager to her ability to make her staff feel confident. “I help people realize they’re capable of more than they know, and I do this in three ways: by being positive and hopeful, by creating comparisons, and by getting my hands dirty.” She says she has a basic knowledge of how to do every job at every Cinnabon, so she knows where her staff is coming from.

2) Get the full picture: Cole says the people outside the corporate offices often have valuable insight. “I ask the same two questions of the staff in every Cinnabon I visit: ‘What do our guests ask for that we don’t have?’ and ‘if you could, what would you change about this company?'”

3) Solicit feedback: “Use your empathy as your strength. It can help you understand the lens through which others see you…Whenever I leave a meeting, I pull one person aside and say, ‘Give me one thing that I could have done differently to be more effective.'” Cole says that specific wording is very important: it shows an openness to learning, it limits the advice to ‘one thing’, it asks for a suggestion instead of a criticism, and the phrase ‘more effective’ is much more neutral than ‘better.’

5) Get good intel: Cole has some ingenious tactics for taking the temperature of her colleagues during meetings or conferences. “At breaks I would go sit in the ladies room stall and listen to the conversations, because sometimes I learned about dynamics I hadn’t known about before.” Even the smallest thing could be helpful, even something as simple as grumbling because the presentation is going on for too long. “Information is power, and it allowed me to be a more effective facilitator.”

6) Don’t wait for the right time to speak up: Holding back in meetings is something men don’t think to do, Cole says. “Only women would think a thought and then think, ‘when is a good time to say this?'” Cole says she once refrained from speaking up about a reservation she had about a project, and it ended up costing the company a lot of money. After that, she promised herself, “I will never be in a room where someone was paying me for my brain and not bring my whole self. We’re not going to leave the room until I’ve shared my thought.” But how can you steer the conversation if the moment to speak up has already passed? Cole says it’s simple. “I say, ‘before we leave, I’d just like to add one thing…'” in order to bring the conversation back on track.

7) Celebrate failure: Cole says she encourages her team to focus on what they learned from mistakes, not what they lost by making them. She does this by saying things like, “thank goodness it happened with a 5-state deal, not a 50-state deal,” to focus on the lesson, not the damage. She says this encourages her team to take risks, because they know they’re allowed to fail sometimes.

8) Focus on doing your job, not whether people like you: Cole says one of the mistakes she made early in her career at Hooters was allowing a restaurant manager to get away with some incorrect protocol at his location, even though her job was to inspect each restaurant to make sure everything was consistent. “My desire for him to like me and trust me outweighed my commitment to doing my job,” she said. The very next day, her supervisor visited the location and realized she hadn’t inspected properly. “I don’t pay you to be nice, I pay you to do your job,” he told her.

9) Don’t waste energy worrying about being the only woman in the room: She tries not to think about it. “My body and brain was better used focusing on work,” she says, but she also thinks it’s important for women to have many examples to look up to. She notes that our brains light up when we see people like ourselves. “That’s why we need more diverse stories told,” she says. “We need more examples of the different paths to success.”

TIME Crime

Missouri Governor Lifts Ferguson Curfew

Thousands of people demonstrated today in support of Mike Brown who was gunned down in Ferguson, Missouri 9 days ago. About 8:30 a large protest march was organized in which approximately 1 - 2000 people participated. The group marched to the State Police Command Center on West Florrisant Ave. before they were met with a cascade of tear gas, flash bombs, rubber bullets and other methods used by police to disperse the crowd. Chaos ensued as protestors continued to fight the onward movement of the armored assult vehicles that moved toward them.
A protestor retaliates against police during violent clashes in Ferguson, Mo. on Aug. 17, 2014. Jon Lowenstein—Noor for TIME

National Guard will help keep the peace on Monday night

Missouri Governor Jay Nixon announced Monday that with the added presence of the National Guard in Ferguson, the curfew imposed Saturday night will be lifted.

Ferguson was rocked by violent disorder over two nights Saturday and Sunday, after Nixon imposed a curfew on the town following protests sparked by the Aug. 9 killing of unarmed black teen Michael Brown by a Ferguson police officer.

In the week since the killing, hundreds of demonstrators have taken to the streets in Ferguson, which led to clashes between law enforcement and some protestors.

Nixon said in a statement the added presence of the National Guard will help protect the Unified Command Center, which he says was the target of a “coordinated attack” Sunday night.

The National Guard appear to be going in as backup for the local law enforcement and Missouri State Highway Patrol, who will continue to “respond appropriately to incidents of lawlessness and violence, and protect the civil rights of all peaceful citizens to make their voices heard.”

Nixon also condemned the violence in Ferguson on both sides, and called for peace as the community searches for answers.

“We are all frustrated and looking for justice to be achieved regarding the shooting death of Michael Brown. As the dual investigations continue into what happened nine days ago at Canfield Green, we must defend Ferguson from these violent interlopers so that the peaceful protests can operate in peace and the search for answers and justice can continue.”

 

TIME Crime

Supporters Raise $10K for Police Officer Who Shot Michael Brown

Money raised in only 19 hours

An online fundraising page has raised $10,000 to help support Darren Wilson, the white Ferguson, Mo., police officer who shot and killed unarmed black teenager Michael Brown earlier this month.

The GoFundMe page attached to the project reads: “We stand behind Officer Darren Wilson and his family during this trying time in their lives. All proceeds will be sent directly to Darren Wilson and his family for any financial needs they may have including legal fees.”

It took 288 people only 19 hours to raise the money, and the page has been shared more than 3,500 times on Facebook. Many of the comments on the site include love and prayers for Wilson and his family, and some statements about Wilson being innocent until proven guilty.

“I pray that our media, politicians and criminal justice system are strong enough to resist the modern day lynch mob mentality and permit reason and justice to prevail,” wrote one person who donated $100.

Wilson was identified Friday as the officer who shot Brown, whose death has led to violent protests and clashes with police in Ferguson. Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon deployed the National Guard on Monday to try to restore calm.

TIME Television

Take a Trip Back to the ’90s With Saved By The Bell Biopic’s First Trailer

Lifetime drama takes a behind-the-scenes look at making of '90s kids show

+ READ ARTICLE

Lifetime just released a new trailer for its upcoming television movie The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, and it looks like there will be plenty of big hair and bigger cell phones.

The movie is a behind the scenes look at the 1990s kids TV show, partly based on a heavily disputed memoir written by Dustin Diamond, who played Screech, and focusing on the growing pains of the young Saved by the Bell actors as they mature both onscreen and off.

Watch out for some raging hormones and big egos.

TIME Crime

Lawyer: Michael Brown’s Family Wants Officer’s Arrest

"What else do we need to give them to arrest the killer of my child?"

+ READ ARTICLE

The family of Michael Brown has called for the arrest of the officer who shot and killed the unarmed black teen in Ferguson, Mo., their attorneys said, after an independent autopsy revealed Brown had been shot at least six times in the altercation.

In a press conference Monday following the release of an independent autopsy conducted for the family, attorneys and medical examiners said that Brown had been shot at least six times, but likely died from a bullet that entered at the top of his head.

The independent autopsy was conducted by Dr. Michael Baden, former chief medical examiner of New York City, and was requested by the victim’s family because “they could not trust what was going to be put in the reports about the tragic execution of their child,” according to family attorney Benjamin Crump.

Crump said that after the autopsy, Brown’s mother asked, “what else do we need to give them to arrest the killer of my child?”

The autopsy also appears to verify eyewitness accounts of the shooting, according to attorneys and Baden, and suggests that Brown may have been shot while trying to surrender to the officer. “Why would he be shot in the very top of his head?” asked Daryl Parks, another attorney for the Brown family. “A 6’4″ man? It makes no sense.”

Michael Brown was shot and killed during the daytime on Aug. 9 by a Ferguson police officer named as Darren Wilson, and his death has sparked mass demonstrations and rioting that police have attempted to quell with tear gas and smoke canisters. After a week of protests, Missouri Governor Jay Nixon ordered the National Guard to Ferguson Monday to try to preserve the peace.

Forensic examiner Dr. Michael Baden, who is known for reviewing the autopsies of John F. Kennedy and Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., said that the autopsy revealed no signs of a struggle, and that Brown likely died from the bullet wound to the top of his head. He also said he did not recover any gunshot residue from the body, implying that the gun was at least 1-2 feet away from the victim, but he cannot be certain of that until he sees Brown’s clothes.

Dr. Baden also noted the exceptional national attention this case has attracted. “Many black men die of accident or homicide in this country, but rarely has the President of the United States gotten involved,” he said.

Your browser, Internet Explorer 8 or below, is out of date. It has known security flaws and may not display all features of this and other websites.

Learn how to update your browser
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 45,205 other followers