--- title: 7 Things the Most Interesting People All Have in Common description: How to be more interesting. canonical: https://time.com/68212/7-things-the-most-interesting-people-all-have-in-common/ author: Eric Barker article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2014-04-18T16:19:57.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:45:35.433Z article:section: Ideas og:title: 7 Things the Most Interesting People All Have in Common og:description: How to be more interesting. og:url: https://time.com/68212/7-things-the-most-interesting-people-all-have-in-common/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltdb4ec1c99681eeb8/69868b481eebf7bad7370762/464618925.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 5394 og:image:height: 3034 og:image:alt: Most Interesting Man Takes Land Mine Role og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 7 Things the Most Interesting People All Have in Common twitter:description: How to be more interesting. twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltdb4ec1c99681eeb8/69868b481eebf7bad7370762/464618925.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # 7 Things the Most Interesting People All Have in Common > Sponsored content. 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It explains how TIME's journalism is made, from the first pitch through the editorial decisions behind a finished story or cover. #### How can I read about how TIME chooses its covers? Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ## Video: 10 Questions for Taylor Swift [Watch (HLS stream): 10 Questions for Taylor Swift](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/n62AtnJU.m3u8) (6:12)  _Published 2009-04-23. The teen country star kicks off her first headlining tour this month. Taylor Swift will now take your questions_ by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Apr 18, 2014 4:19 PM UTC  MANCHESTER CENTER, VT - JANUARY 10: Jonathan Goldsmith, a.k.a. "The Most Interesting Man in the World," the cult-like figure in the highly popular Dos Equis beer commercials, lives a quiet life in the woods in Manchester Center, Vt. He is trying to remake himself as the leading advocate for removing land mines and cleaning up the legacy of war in combat zones around the world. (Photo by Dina Rudick/The Boston Globe via Getty Images) MANCHESTER CENTER, VT - JANUARY 10: Jonathan Goldsmith, a.k.a. "The Most Interesting Man in the World," the cult-like figure in the highly popular Dos Equis beer commercials, lives a quiet life in the woods in Manchester Center, Vt. He is trying to remake himself as the leading advocate for removing land mines and cleaning up the legacy of war in combat zones around the world. (Photo by Dina Rudick/The Boston Globe via Getty Images) Boston Globe/Getty Images by [Eric Barker](https://time.com/author/eric-barker/) ## Eric Barker Apr 18, 2014 4:19 PM UTC I’ve posted a lot of research from experts on [getting people to like you](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/10/how-to-make-people-like-you/), being [influential](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/robert-cialdini-influence/) and [having great conversations](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/conversation-skills/). **What’s the best way to use all this information to be more interesting?** ## **1) First, Don’t Be Boring** **Sometimes the best offense is a good defense. Look at it like the Hippocratic Oath of conversations:** **_Do no harm._** We’re all terrible at realizing when we bore others because, well, we all think we’re just fascinating. The #1 tip for never boring anyone comes from [Scott Adams](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00COOFBA4/?tag=barking-20): [**Be brief, be positive**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/08/are-you-a-conversational-narcissist/)**.** **If you’re always to the point and stay upbeat, it’s extremely hard for anyone to accuse you of being poor company.** But sometimes you do need to speak a little longer to make sure things don’t get stilted. [The Art of Civilized Conversation](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000XUBDSK/?tag=spacforrent-20) offers another good tip: **Is anyone asking you questions about what you’re saying?** If not, maybe it’s time to end the story or ask the other person a question. (More rapport building techniques are [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/11/rapport-building-skills/).) ## **2) The Most Captivating People Are Often Good Listeners** Impressing people can be great but it can also devolve into status jockeying, one-upmanship and envy. **People love to talk about themselves and there are a dearth of good listeners.** Let the other person talk. It [gives their brain as much pleasure as food or money](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-gives-your-brain-as-much-pleasure-as-foo/): --- > “” --- You can make an excellent impression by saying amazingly little. **Ironically, the people we like the most often say the least.** (Learn how to listen like a hostage negotiator [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/).) ## **3) Talk About The Other Person’s Interests** This is straight from [Dale Carnegie](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439167346/?tag=spacforrent-20) and if you’re not that socially adept, this is as straightforward as it gets. Why struggle to guess what most people _might_ find generically interesting? **Ask people what they’ve been up to or what their hobbies are. Then talk about that. You’re now 80% of the way there.** If you know about the subject [the similarity will bond you](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/whats-the-key-to-being-liked-and-being-more-i/). If you don’t, ask them to explain and be [a great listener](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/06/hostage-negotiation/) as they talk about something they love. (More on the science behind Dale Carnegie’s classic [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/01/truth-dale-carnegies-how-win-friends-influence-people/).) ## **4) Have Three Good Stories** Comedians don’t just talk about [anything when they’re onstage](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/07/how-does-chris-rock-create-such-brilliant-com/). They have their act rehearsed. You don’t just trot into [a job interview](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/09/how-to-ace-a-job-interview/) and say whatever’s on your mind. **Always have three good stories on hand that reliably entertain, inform or engage.** Another tip from [Scott Adams](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/12/how-to-fail-at-almost-everything-and-still-win-big/): **People are generally more interested in stories about people rather than things.** Drama, gossip and reality TV are successful for a reason. We all find human behavior fascinating. On the other hand, most people don’t want to hear about the features on your new iPhone. (More on how to tell good stories [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/interview-ucla-film-school-professor-howard-suber-explains-storyteller/).) ## **5) Don’t Forget Charisma** It’s not all about the words. Some people are engaging but if what they said was transcribed, it would be unimpressive. **When you’re speaking emotionally, the words only account for 7% of what get conveyed.** **Seven percent** **.** **Voice tone and body language are far more important.** Via [The Heart of Social Psychology: A Backstage View of a Passionate Science](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0669211443/ref=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl?ie=UTF8&tag=spacforrent-20): --- > “” --- Laugh. Smile. Be passionate. Gesture. Modulate your voice. Don’t just sweat the words. (Here’s how to be [charismatic](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/02/checklist-5-charismatic/).) ## **6) Be Somewhere Interesting** Got a say in where you’ll be at, as with a date or meeting? **Pick someplace stimulating. Context matters.** In general, we’re lousy about realizing where our feelings are coming from. **Research shows excitement from any source is often associated with the person you’re with — even if they’re not the cause of it.** Why do people find musicians so captivating? The music and the crowd stimulates emotions — and we viscerally associate those with the band. MIT Behavioral Economist [Dan Ariely](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/03/interview-nyt-bestselling-author-dan-ariely-talks/) [recounts](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/07/whats-the-key-to-a-fantastic-first-date/) a relevant study he did: --- > “” --- (More on the power of context [here](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/04/whats-the-most-effective-way-to-change-you-be/).) ## **7) And Most Importantly: Live An Interesting Life** Remember the theme of [Don Quixote](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001R1LCKS/?tag=spacforrent-20): **If you want to be a knight, act like a knight.** If you don’t read, watch and think about generic things, generic things are less likely to come out of your mouth. This doesn’t need to be expensive or difficult. **Hang out more often with the most interesting people you know.** **The friends you spend time with** [**dramatically affect your behavior**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/06/are-your-friends-the-easiest-route-to-self-im/) **—** [**whether you like it or not**](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/11/science-of-karma/)**.** [The Longevity Project](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452297702/?tag=spacforrent-20), which studied over 1000 people from youth to death had this to say: **_The groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become._** In [The Start-up of You](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307888908/?tag=spacforrent-20), Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha talk about how the best way to improve particular qualities in yourself is to spend time with people who are already like that. **The best and most reliable way to appear interesting is to live an interesting life.** **And to pursue that ends up being far more rewarding than merely making a good impression on others.** **Join 45K+ readers.** Get a free weekly update via email [here](http://eepurl.com/o6uAD). Related posts: [8 Things The World’s Most Successful People All Have In Common](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/12/successful-people/) [What 10 things should you do every day to improve your life?](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/05/what-10-things-should-you-do-every-day-to-imp/) [How To Make Your Life Better By Sending Five Simple Emails](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2013/07/make-your-life-better/) _This piece originally appeared on_ [_Barking Up the Wrong Tree_](http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/01/interesting/)_._ _Read next:_ [_10 Things the Greatest Leaders All Have In Common_](http://time.com/101743/10-things-the-greatest-leaders-all-have-in-common/%20?iid=time%5Freadnext) [_Listen to the most important stories of the day._](http://time.com/newsletter/the-brief/?sl%5Fautoplay=true&xid=spl-fullbrief-article) ## Transcript >> I'm Rebecca Keegan with Taylor Swift who's taking questions from TIME readers from an RV on Hollywood Boulevard. Hey Taylor, how are you? >> I'm doing great, how are you? >> I'm good. I have a bunch of questions for you from TIME readers from all over the world. This first question comes from Stacey Klemstein in Johnsburg, Illinois who asks, how long does it take you to write a song? >> It depends. I've written songs in 15 minutes and also on the other end of the spectrum, I've taken a year to finish a song. But most of the time, songs that I write end up being finished in 30 minutes or less. You know, all the songs that I've had that have been singles like Love Story, I wrote that on my bedroom floor in about 20 minutes. So, usually, when I get on the role was something. It's really hard for me to put it down unfinished. >> How do you manage to appear so genuinely happy when according to your songs you've suffered so much heartbreak? >> I have ways of channeling the heartbreak that I've gone through at the right moments. A lot of times you don't allow yourself to feel things to their full extent because you have to go on with things. But there are moments when I'm writing songs, that's when I let myself feel it the most. So, it's all about really knowing when you've got to feel those things and knowing when you've got it, just go about your day in spite of it. Also, it's been a really awesome year. There's been a lot to be happy about. So, I get so excited when I go to an award show and I get to perform and I get to do a performance I've always wanted to do since middle school and I get so excited when the song that I wrote about something really personal to me goes number one and I looked down and I see people singing the words back to me. That makes me so much happier than anything could really ever bring me down. So, it's like you've got channeling that hurt when it's the right time to and also just the fact that life has been really good. >> Where do you find the inspiration for your songs? >> I find inspiration in human emotion. The way that we treat each other, the way that we make each other feel, and the pattern of it and how, you know, it repeats itself so often, but we never learn from it. Just all the different things that you learn from relationships, whether it'd be friends, or family or love, mostly love. I just love watching people and how we react the feelings. So, I think love is always gonna be a number one contributor to the inspiration department for me. >> This question comes from Kathmandu. >> Awesome. >> And the reader asks, I grew up listening to heavy metal and rock, yet I find your songs very catchy. What sort of music do you listen to? >> I love Def Leppard. I've always loved Def Leppard ever since I was little. My mom has always listened to Def Leppard so they were my favorite band from the time I was a little kid to now. >> My little Victor in the Philippines asks, what advice do you have for young and aspiring songwriters? >> I would say my advice to songwriters is to write your songs not for a specific demographic, or for getting on the radio, or for anything commercial like that, write songs to the person that you're writing that song about. That's the mindset that I go into when I sit down to write a song. I think to myself, okay, who's this about? Fill in the blank and then I think, what would I say to him right now if I could and if I had the nerve too, what would I say? And then you think of some rhymes and you put it all together. >> Earl Worthington in Chicago wants to know, what other artists would you like to do a duet with? >> I would like to do a duet with Taylor Hanson because I have loved Hansons since I was 8 and it's like never gonna end, I'm never gonna stop loving them, and Taylor Hanson has an amazing voice and also, you know, we're both named Taylor. >> You did have great hair. >> Thank you. >> You share the blondness. >> Thank you so much. Huh? I love John Mayer, but I said it in another interview, I say that in like every interview. So, I figure it out switch it up. >> Mix it up. We wanna have the Hansons scoop people. >> I love Hanson. >> How do you find balance between your personal and professional life? >> Finding balance between my personal and professional life is kind of interesting because they believe together. You know, I write songs about the guy that sat next to me in class in 10th grade or the person that I saw yesterday that we made eye contact for a split second, but it was enough to inspire a song. And for me, I just try not to get to territorial about what's personal time and what's professional time because if I'm sitting at home in my hometown and it's my one day off in three months and I'm sitting there and I'm at a restaurant and a line forms in front of my table that winds around the entire restaurant, I'm not gonna say, " This is my dayoff, I won't sign your autographs ." Because this is what I've asked for my entire life. This is the one thing that I wanted and the fact that I actually get to do that one thing that I've always wanted, I don't think I've ever gonna wanna complain about it. >> Katy Rutherford in Washington, DC wants to know, do you plan on getting your college degree? If so, what are you interested in studying? >> College is something that I always thought I was gonna do and then I discovered music and I still thought I was gonna go to college because I never really actually thought I get to do this. You know, I worked really hard for it, but I did never expect that it was gonna be a possibility for me and then I started getting further with it. Later on, I would love to take college classes and getting the college experience is something I'm planning on doing pretty soon because I'm gonna go visit my friend, Abigail, in college and see what that's like. But you know, no matter what path you choose you're gonna miss something. 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