The Best Jokes From Jimmy Kimmel’s Oscars Monologue

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Jimmy Kimmel kicked off the 89th annual Academy Awards by sparing no shots at President Donald Trump. The Jimmy Kimmel Live! star also poked fun at the Hollywood elite—and, of course, his (fake) rival Matt Damon.

Kimmel didn’t wait long to bash Trump, saying, “I want to say thank you to President Trump. Remember last year when it seemed like the Oscars were racist? That’s gone, thanks to him.” Later, he said Trump would tweet about the Oscars “during his 5 a.m. bowel movement.”

Oscars 2017: See Celebrities Hit the Red Carpet

Taraji P. Henson on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Taraji P. Henson on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
John Legend and Chrissy Teigen on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
John Legend and Chrissy Teigen on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Janelle Monáe on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Janelle Monáe on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Steve Granitz—Getty Images
Karlie Kloss on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Karlie Kloss on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Naomie Harris on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Naomie Harris on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Frazer Harrison—Getty Images
Emma Stone on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Emma Stone on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Kevin Mazur—Getty Images
Ryan Gosling on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Ryan Gosling on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.George Pimentel—Getty Images
Dakota Johnson on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Dakota Johnson on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Viola Davis on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Viola Davis on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Jeff Kravitz—Getty Images
Casey Affleck on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Casey Affleck on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Frazer Harrison—Getty Images
Ruth Negga on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Ruth Negga on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Lester Cohen—Getty Images
Priyanka Chopra on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Priyanka Chopra on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Kevin Mazur—Getty Images
Jessica Beil on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Jessica Beil on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Max Martin, Justin Timberlake and Karl Johan Schuster on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Max Martin, Justin Timberlake and Karl Johan Schuster on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Charlize Theron on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Charlize Theron on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Frazer Harrison—Getty Images
Nicole Kidman on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Nicole Kidman on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Kevin Mazur—Getty Images
Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Trevante Rhodes, Alex R. Hibbert and Ashton Sanders on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Trevante Rhodes, Alex R. Hibbert and Ashton Sanders on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Jeff Kravitz—Getty Images
Mahershala Ali on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Mahershala Ali on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Brie Larson on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Brie Larson on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Kevin Mazur—Getty Images
Luz Towns-Miranda and Lin-Manuel Miranda on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Luz Towns-Miranda and Lin-Manuel Miranda on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Tyler Golden—ABC/Getty Images
Dev Patel on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Dev Patel on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Pharrell Williams and Helen Lasichanh on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Pharrell Williams and Helen Lasichanh on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Halle Berry on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Halle Berry on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.George Pimentel—Getty Images
Viggo Mortensen on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Viggo Mortensen on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Ava DuVernay on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Ava DuVernay on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Felicity Jones on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Felicity Jones on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Trudie Styler and Sting on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Trudie Styler and Sting on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Hailee Steinfeld on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Hailee Steinfeld on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Luciana Barroso and Matt Damon on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Luciana Barroso and Matt Damon on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Kirsten Dunst on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Kirsten Dunst on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Barry Jenkins on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Barry Jenkins on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Salma Hayek on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Salma Hayek on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Kevork Djansezian—Getty Images
Andrew Garfield on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Andrew Garfield on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Jackie Chan on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Jackie Chan on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Olivia Culpo on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Olivia Culpo on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Terrence Howard on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Terrence Howard on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Auli'i Cravalho on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Auli'i Cravalho on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Kerri Higuchi and John Cho on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Kerri Higuchi and John Cho on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Teresa Palmer on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Teresa Palmer on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Isabelle Huppert on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Isabelle Huppert on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Tarell Alvin, right, and guest on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Tarell Alvin, right, and guest on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Leslie Mann on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Leslie Mann on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Ginnifer Goodwin on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Ginnifer Goodwin on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images
Sunny Pawar on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Sunny Pawar on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Steve Granitz—Getty Images
Allison Schroeder on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Allison Schroeder on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Angela Weiss—AFP/Getty Images
Pauletta Washington and Denzel Washington on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Pauletta Washington and Denzel Washington on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Frazer Harrison—Getty Images
Lucas Hedges on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Lucas Hedges on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Lester Cohen—Getty Images
Riz Ahmed on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Riz Ahmed on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.George Pimentel—Getty Images
Octavia Spencer on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Octavia Spencer on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Jeff Kravitz—Getty Images
Susan Geston and Jeff Bridges on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Susan Geston and Jeff Bridges on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Steve Granitz—Getty Images
Michelle Williams on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Michelle Williams on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Steve Granitz—Getty Images
Laura Dern on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Laura Dern on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Steve Granitz—Getty Images
Olivia Hamilton and Damien Chazelle on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Olivia Hamilton and Damien Chazelle on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Steve Granitz—Getty Images
Alicia Vikander on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Alicia Vikander on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.Kevin Mazur—Getty Images
Sofia Boutella on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars, on Feb. 26, 2017 in Hollywood, Calif.
Sofia Boutella arrives on the red carpet for the 89th Oscars on February 26, 2017 in Hollywood, California. / AFP / VALERIE MACON (Photo credit should read VALERIE MACON/AFP/Getty Images)Valerie Macon—AFP/Getty Images

He said many people had told him to address the political divides in the U.S., saying he would not be able to do that. “There’s only one Braveheart in the room,” he said, in reference to Mel Gibson. “And he’s not going to unite us either.”

Kimmel started the night with a barb at Justin Timberlake, who opened the Oscars with performance of “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” which is nominated for Best Original Song.

MORE See All the Winners of the 2017 Oscars

“On your behalf, I really hope the other guys from NSYNC were watching that performance because if they were, I think there’s a really good chance they’re going to let you back in the band,” Kimmel said.

And he couldn’t miss the chance to call out Damon, with whom he has had a long-running fake feud.

“I’ve known Matt for so long, when I first met Matt, I was the fat one,” he said. Kimmel continued: “Matt, as you probably know, could have starred in Manchester By the Sea. He handed what turned out to be an Oscar-caliber role over to his friend and made a Chinese ponytail movie instead.”

In closing his monologue, Kimmel teased the “highly overrated” Meryl Streep, who is nominated for her 20th Oscar. “Meryl Streep has phoned it in for more than 50 films over her lackluster career,” he joked.

Kimmel’s monologue earned praise from previous Oscars host Ellen DeGeneres, who said it was “so brilliant it’s already overrated.”

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Write to Mahita Gajanan at mahita.gajanan@time.com