Matt Damon’s Many Celebrity BFFs Kind of Hate How Perfect He Is

You’d think Jason Bourne star Matt Damon had enough fun and accolades racked up: the Boston native has a private home life, a string of well-loved movies under his belt and a celeb BFF in Ben Affleck. Turns out, he’s also Mr. Popularity. For its latest cover profile on the actor, GQ rounded up a slew of bold-faced names to comment on Damon, from Matthew McConaughey to Martin Scorsese.

Julia Roberts summed it up: “Matty’s a good boy,” she told the magazine. Still, there were a few good burns.

Some stars weighed in on Damon’s low-key attractiveness:

Scarlett Johansson: “The most amazing gift about Matt’s physical appearance is that he can walk into the hair-and-makeup trailer looking like someone who slept directly on his face for seven hours and emerge a bona fide movie star. He has a great makeup artist.”

George Clooney: “He looks swell in a Speedo.”

Tina Fey: “People would be like, “[Matt and Ben] are so cute!” And I’d be like, “They’re J.Crew sweaters. When you see all the colors next to each other, they look cute, but when you get one home, you’re like, ‘Damn, I just got an orange sweater.’ ” But now that is withdrawn. In person, Matt holds up.”

They also discussed his morals:

Ben Affleck: “The quality that has allowed Matt to maintain the illusion that he is Mr. Nice Guy is that he found a young TV actor who was just a pretty face and made friends with him so he would always look good by comparison. Matt is very media-savvy and manipulative in that way. He’s like a mix of [O. J. Simpson defense-team members] Bob Shapiro and Alan Dershowitz.”

John Krasinski: The day I met him was the scene in The Adjustment Bureau where he kisses my wife [Emily Blunt] in a very big way. And so when I went up to him, he turned to me, and the first thing he ever said to me was, “Hey, man. I was just totally tonguing your girl.” And I went, “Oh, okay. Cool.” And he saw my face and he just cratered. He said, “Oh, my God. I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”

Edward Norton: “Matt and I got coaching from top poker pros, but also from some guys in the underground poker scene who were experts in working a game as partners with coded signals, because that was something our characters did in the film… We agreed that our commitment to the craft of acting justifiably forced our ethical standards into the backseat. And most of the money we clipped came off Harvey and Bob Weinstein, so we agreed that was good for humanity.”

Jimmy Kimmel: “He had sex with my girlfriend [as a hoax] and then made a song about it. I think he’s more devious than [his character in The Talented Mr. Ripley]. More diabolical. Matt Damon in real life is more of a pure evil.”

Emily Blunt: “It’s almost sickening, actually. He’s like the most universally loved person I’ve ever met.”

Not bad, Matt, not bad.