The Intersection of Love and Loss: Children of Incarcerated Parents

3 minute read

Isadora Kosofsky has been photographing since she was 14 years old. After she turned 18, she started to focus her work on the U.S. criminal justice system – looking, for example, at the impact the vast and complicated juvenile justice system has on young prisoners and their families. Now, in her most recent project, published here for the first time, Kosofsky follows incarcerated parents as they struggle to maintain fragmented, yet essential, relationships with their daughters and sons.

On a four-hour bus ride, I sit behind Thomas, 13, who has not seen his mother in five years. Thomas’ cousin adopted him two years ago. He’s nervous and expressionless, yet cracks a smile as he arm-wrestles with his brother and sister across the aisle, both of whom live with other families.

Angel, whose mother is serving a seven-year sentence for drug trafficking, watches Jurassic Park on the bus’ television. “I have many mommies,” he says. His older brother, Caleb, retorts, “We have one mom.”

Over the past few months, I’ve documented bonding meetings between children and their mothers and fathers at five prisons in the state of Florida. In 2010, more than 2.7 million children in the U.S. had an incarcerated parent, and approximately 10 million children have experienced parental incarceration at some point in their lives. Nationally, there are more than 120,000 incarcerated mothers and 1.1 million incarcerated fathers who are parents of minor children.

Children of Inmates, an organization dedicated to bringing incarcerated families together, facilitates these unusual visits on a quarterly basis, where parents can directly interact with their children, with volunteers instructing them to get into full “mommy” or “daddy” mode.

Opal stands with her daughter, Ashley, 13. Ashley had not seen her mom since her arrest almost five years ago.Isadora Kosofsky

These photos form the latest chapter in a five-year project documenting the relationship between youth, families and confinement in the criminal justice system. I consider this new series as another visual articulation of love-loss intersections. While Chandler knows that his father will be released next month after a five-year sentence, Vivian visits her father knowing that he will never get out.

Every time I say that I won’t go back to photograph the lives of those in the criminal justice system because I find it too painful, I always end up initiating another project. Prison has become a locus for me to probe relatable themes of confinement and loss beyond a social query, which is always one goal of documentary making.

My process for both this series and others has been to see those I document as people first and incarcerated second. Even before photographing one of these visits, I identify with the paradoxical joy and grief that one can feel about their own parents or family. I am drawn to photograph intimacy in institutional contexts, questioning the nature of family relationship in adverse situations. Shelly-Ann, for example, tells me about the importance of maintaining connection to her husband while he is incarcerated, citing how her daughter, Ayana, saves her dad’s letters and reads them multiple times per day. Ayana’s Christmas wish was to see her dad, who will be confined for three years. Documenting family bonding visits affords me the opportunity not only to tackle mass incarceration from a humanistic standpoint, but also to explore these experiences as escapes and temporarily fulfilled fantasies for both child and parent.

The Intersection of Love and Loss: Confronting Youth Incarceration

Brothers Vinny and David stand together as the sky darkens before a summer storm.
Brothers Vinny and David stand together as the sky darkens before a summer storm.Isadora Kosofsky
Vinny, 13, stands in command call before entering his cell at the juvenile detention center.
Vinny, 13, stands in command call before entering his cell at the juvenile detention center.Isadora Kosofsky
Ready to appear in court, Vinny is shackled to another youth.
Ready to appear in court, Vinny is shackled to another youth.Isadora Kosofsky
Vinny lies on his cell bunk.
Vinny lies on his cell bunk.Isadora Kosofsky
Vinny eats his first meal in the detention center cafeteria.
Vinny eats his first meal in the detention center cafeteria.Isadora Kosofsky
Vinny's mother Eve comforts him during visitation at the detention center.
Vinny's mother Eve comforts him during visitation at the detention center.Isadora Kosofsky
A family portrait of David, then 13, Vinny, then 8, and Michael, then 3.
A family portrait of David, then 13, Vinny, then 8, and Michael, then 3.Isadora Kosofsky
Eve cries after learning that the court will not allow Vinny to live with her and has ordered him to live with his paternal aunt.
Eve cries after learning that the court will not allow Vinny to live with her and has ordered him to live with his paternal aunt.Isadora Kosofsky
Eve places her head on David's back, while he draws a picture of a clown in his notebook.
Eve places her head on David's back, while he draws a picture of a clown in his notebook.Isadora Kosofsky
David and his father, Dave, leave a motel.
David and his father, Dave, leave a motel.Isadora Kosofsky
David and his girlfriend Felicia have been together for four years.
David and his girlfriend Felicia have been together for four years.Isadora Kosofsky
David feeds ice cream to Felicia.
David feeds ice cream to Felicia.Isadora Kosofsky
David joined a gang in his early teens after his grandmother passed away.
David joined a gang in his early teens after his grandmother passed away.Isadora Kosofsky
With a warrant out for his arrest, David cries in fear that police will find him and take him away from his family.
With a warrant out for his arrest, David cries in fear that police will find him and take him away from his family.Isadora Kosofsky
David, 19, sits in the recreation yard of the jail at night.
David, 19, sits in the recreation yard of the jail at night.Isadora Kosofsky
Felicia and their 10-month-old daughter Lily see David through video visitation.
Felicia and their 10-month-old daughter Lily see David through video visitation.Isadora Kosofsky
David stands at night next to a fence after being released.
David stands at night next to a fence after being released.Isadora Kosofsky
David pushes his daughter in a stroller.
David pushes his daughter in a stroller.Isadora Kosofsky
David and Felicia smile as they teach Lily to walk.
David and Felicia smile as they teach Lily to walk.Isadora Kosofsky
David and his youngest brother, Michael, 8. Michael pines for David's attention. "I want to be just like my brother," Michael said.
David and his youngest brother, Michael, 8. Michael pines for David's attention. "I want to be just like my brother," Michael said.Isadora Kosofsky
Michael playfully punches his sister Elycia's cheek.
Michael playfully punches his sister Elycia's cheek.Isadora Kosofsky
Elycia grips her mom's leg and won't let go. After Vinny was held at juvenile detention and subsequently sent to live with his aunt in a town three hours away, Elycia often cries for her brother.
Elycia grips her mom's leg and won't let go. After Vinny was held at juvenile detention and subsequently sent to live with his aunt in a town three hours away, Elycia often cries for her brother.Isadora Kosofsky
Eve speaks intensely to Elycia. Michael says his mom "doesn't mean it," when she is angry.
Eve speaks intensely to Elycia. Michael says his mom "doesn't mean it," when she is angry.Isadora Kosofsky
Michael seals his mouth with tape. "I'm lonely. No kids to play with," he says.
Michael seals his mouth with tape. "I'm lonely. No kids to play with," he says.Isadora Kosofsky
Eve holds Michael in the pool at a motel.
Eve holds Michael in the pool at a motel.Isadora Kosofsky
Vinny punches trash bins behind his aunt's home. He finds it hard to escape the "empty feeling" he gets when he thinks or dreams about juvenile detention.
Vinny punches trash bins behind his aunt's home. He finds it hard to escape the "empty feeling" he gets when he thinks or dreams about juvenile detention.Isadora Kosofsky
Vinny, Michael and Elycia play together on a trampoline. This is Vinny's first visit with his siblings since beginning his new life with his aunt.
Vinny, Michael and Elycia play together on a trampoline. This is Vinny's first visit with his siblings since beginning his new life with his aunt.Isadora Kosofsky
Vinny and his sister, Elycia.
Vinny and his sister, Elycia.Isadora Kosofsky
Vinny, now 15, and David, now 21, lay down at night after spending the day together. "Vinny broke into my heart"" says David when asked about their bond.
Vinny, now 15, and David, now 21, lay down at night after spending the day together. "Vinny broke into my heart"" says David when asked about their bond.Isadora Kosofsky
Vinny looks at David and Lily before saying goodbye.
Vinny looks at David and Lily before saying goodbye.Isadora Kosofsky

In the midst of understanding shattered and mended familial bonds in my present life, this photo documentary comments on my personal questions about the nature of parent-child love and alienation. As a documentarian, I hide behind those I photograph so I can make others my focus and forget what actually draws me to document long-term stories. However, at the end of each day, I am confronted by the same emotions I attempt to avoid; documentation provides a temporary refuge, but in the essence of the bonding visits, everyone goes home at the end of the day, waiting for the next opportunity for connection.

Carlos holds his son Damian during a visit at the Everglades Correctional Center.Isadora Kosofsky

Documenting lives affected by incarceration causes me to confront my fear of loneliness by witnessing remoteness in its most obvious forms. The inner conflicts and a desire for responses to unanswerable questions are what lead me to photograph what I feel I both know and can never know. As Michele, a Children of Inmates volunteer, says “one thing that sticks with me is the unconditional love between child and parent. No matter what the parent did. To the child, that’s still mom and dad.”

Kaiser reflects on the experience of having an intimate visit with his son, saying, “In a regular visit, you can’t interact like this.” Kaiser’s wife chimes in, “They are able to hold Dad’s hand. Kids need that. They need to know that Daddy still exists.” Jalen, 14, adds: “You almost forget you are in a prison. I get to spend time with Dad like being at home.”

Isadora Kosofsky is a documentary photographer based in Los Angeles.

Olivier Laurent , who edited this photo essay, is the editor of TIME LightBox. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @olivierclaurent

Caleb, 6, sits on the bus during a ride from Tampa to Brookesville, Fla., to visit his mother who is incarcerated at the Hernando Correctional Institution.Isadora Kosofsky
The De Soto Correctional Institution for Men in Arcadia, Fla.Isadora Kosofsky
Maria, 16, accompanied by her grandmother Mary (left), gazes out the window at the Hernando Correctional Facility in Brookesville. Upon arriving at the prison, all the children stand up and stare intently out the window, hoping to catch a glance of their parent. Maria soon turns to her grandma, crying excitingly, “That’s her, that’s her!”Isadora Kosofsky
Jennissey puts eye make up on Tashanika as they wait for their children to arrive at the Women’s Reception Center in Ocala, Fla.Isadora Kosofsky
Families line up and wait to be called in for processing and search at the Hernando Correctional Facility.Isadora Kosofsky
Mothers, who wait for their children to arrive, watch families who have gone through security and already started their visits. Isadora Kosofsky
Jasmine, 13, wears reindeer antlers to her visit with her father. She waits behind a locked door before being searched at the Everglades Correctional Center.Isadora Kosofsky
Lucie holds her daughter upon arrival at the Hernando Correction Institution.Isadora Kosofsky
Angel, 3, plays with a toy he retrieved from the bin in front of the correctional officers’ station inside the visiting room at Hernando Correctional Center where his mother is incarcerated.Isadora Kosofsky
Christine holds her daughter, Alicia, 8, as her other daughters, Ladela, 6, plays a game and Josephine, 5, reads a book.Isadora Kosofsky
Caroline stands with her son, Braxton, 6, as inmates line up for a head count at the Everglades Correctional Institution. Isadora Kosofsky
Andras holds up the bracelet and wears the necklace that his daughter just made for him.Isadora Kosofsky
Charlotte and her daughter Tamara, 8, read an illustrated Bible story.Isadora Kosofsky
Opal picks out stuffed animals for her children Ashley, Thomas and Chris after they win a game.Isadora Kosofsky
Tashanika assembles a Mr. Potato Head toy for her son Isaiah.Isadora Kosofsky
Rodrigo comforts his son Rohondrick, 6, who cries because he wants to play a game with his father before eating and worries that their visit will end too soon. Isadora Kosofsky
Children arrive at the Florida Women’s Reception Center.Isadora Kosofsky
Parish Jr., 2, embraces his dad, also named Parish.Isadora Kosofsky
Luther, his wife Isreaella, and their children, Jaheem, 14, Naytoria, 13, Nathaniel, 12, and Nathane, 10, pray for the opportunity of being brought together.Isadora Kosofsky
Child-friendly illustrations, like the alphabet and animals, cover the walls and frame the windows at Everglades Correction Institution.Isadora Kosofsky
A set of plastic trees selected by Julio, 4, are laid out on the table during his visit with his father. Isadora Kosofsky
Mary holds her son, Jayden, 13, while she holds her 16-year-old daughter, Maria.Maria hopes to become a drug counselor to help people like her mom, saying that she believes addiction is the reason why her mom entered criminal life. Isadora Kosofsky
Mothers Jennissey and Tashanika wait by the window as their children exit the bus. Jennissey cries as she watches her son, Damian, daughter, Julie, and accompanying grandmother enter the gates. Isadora Kosofsky
The Johnson family gets a photograph taken by the prison photographer, who is also an inmate. Isadora Kosofsky
Rohondrick, 6, and Romarion, 4, lean against their mother, Sandrika, outside an ice skating rink after their visit with their father. The organization that provides these visits brings the children to another location after the prison experience in order for them to have a calming effect before returning home. Isadora Kosofsky
Velicia, 18, rides the bus back to Tampa after a visit with her mother who is serving a 20-year-sentence for manslaughter. Velicia was two years old when her mother was arrested and has since been raised by her grandmother. “Having a mom in prison comes with a lot of issues," she says. "You feel like you are different from everyone else in society.” Isadora Kosofsky

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