--- title: Divorce: Why Women Are More Likely to Ask for a Divorce description: When it comes to divorce, one spouse is more likely to start proceedings than the other. But the same isn't true for non-marital relationships. canonical: https://time.com/4007174/which-spouse-asks-for-divorce/ author: Alice Park article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-08-22T13:46:18.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-04T07:45:13.516Z og:title: Why Women Are More Likely to Ask for a Divorce og:description: Women initiated 69% of divorces, compared to 31% of men og:url: https://time.com/4007174/which-spouse-asks-for-divorce/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4641466524023812/6988607ee20a8785b4a8ce35/gettyimages-501870849.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 5616 og:image:height: 3159 og:image:alt: 501870849 og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Why Women Are More Likely to Ask for a Divorce twitter:description: Women initiated 69% of divorces, compared to 31% of men twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt4641466524023812/6988607ee20a8785b4a8ce35/gettyimages-501870849.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Why Women Are More Likely to Ask for a Divorce > Sponsored content. 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It is a free newsletter available at time.com/newsletters. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-worth-2026q3/newsletters?i=a1c85c19-0271-4c71-a856-f1981167c56b&cr=time-nl-worth-2026q3-v1) ## Video: What One Woman Learned From Taking a Year Off From Her Marriage [Watch (HLS stream): What One Woman Learned From Taking a Year Off From Her Marriage](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/B3QCkNPd.m3u8) (3:53)  _Published 2015-04-01. Robin Rinaldi did what many women dream of but few actually do: she took a year off from her marriage, made an agreement with her husband that they would both sleep with other people for a set period of time, and threw caution to the wind._  by [Alice Park](https://time.com/author/alice-park/)  ## Alice Park Senior Correspondent Aug 22, 2015 1:46 PM UTC  Still life of his and hers wedding rings Still life of his and hers wedding rings Getty Images  by [Alice Park](https://time.com/author/alice-park/)  ## Alice Park Senior Correspondent Aug 22, 2015 1:46 PM UTC In a presentation to the American Sociological Association, researchers report that women are more likely than men to ask for divorce. But non-marital breakups are more gender neutral. The results came from an analysis of the aptly named “How Couples Meet and Stay Together” survey, collected from 2,262 adults with opposite sex partners who answered questions about their relationship status between 2009 and 2015\. Women initiated 69% of divorces, compared to 31% of men. But if men and women were living together without marrying, each gender was equally likely to initiate a breakup. Almost all studies to date have shown that women are more likely to ask for divorce, the study’s lead author, Michael Rosenfeld, said in a statement. An associate professor of sociology at Stanford University, Rosenfeld said that social scientists assumed that women’s heightened sensitivities to the ups and downs of relationships would mean they were more likely to leave both marriages and non-marital unions. But the latest data suggests that perhaps there’s more involved. Women may be responding to the still arcane conventions of spousal roles, which contrast with growing equality in other institutions, such as the workplace. “I think that marriage as an institution has been a little bit slow to catch up with expectations for gender equality. Wives still take their husbands’ surnames, and are sometimes pressured to do so. Husbands still expect their wives to do the bulk of the housework and the bulk of the childcare,” he said in the statement. “On the other hand, I think that non-marital relationships lack the historical baggage and expectations of marriage, which makes the non-marital relationships more flexible and therefore more adaptable to modern expectations … of gender equality.” ## Transcript I saw a headline the other day that said something like Woman Sleeps with Twelve Strangers in a Year and is Shocked, Shocked Shocked, When She Divorced. No, I was not shocked. Who, nobody would be shocked. Good girl seeks experience. I'm a 44 year old professional, educated, attractive woman in an open marriage seeking single men age 35 to 50 to help me explore my sexuality. You must be trustworthy, smart and skilled at conversation as well as in bed. We will first meet in public for coffee or a drink. If that goes well, we'll have dinner. Possibly followed by sex. Our time together will be limited to three dates. As I cannot become seriously involved. When you think about it. A lot of people do this. They don't move out and set up rules and have an open marriage and apart time separation. They just have affairs. I was living in San Francisco. I was in my early 40s. My husband and I hit a marital crisis where I wanted to have children, and he didn't. And he ended up saying that he wanted to get a vasectomy. And at that point, I thought, what do I need to do now before. My life is over if I'm not gonna have children. That's when I realized I really needed to sow the oats I'd never done in my youth and needed a little time off from my marriage to do that if we weren't gonna be having a family. It was the fact that I was gonna let them get away scot- free. After three dates. The three basic rules were safe sex, no mutual acquaintances and, no long term serious relationships. We both ended up breaking two of those rules over the course of the year. I wanted their smells, their stomachs, their grasping hands and hungry mouths. The more maleness I had, the more female I could be. I sought it out despite the warnings of concerned friends, the obvious pain I was causing my husband, the moral code and defining boundaries of the self I'd known for 44 years. Come what may, I would be ravished and then they could All I can say is that it was unlike me to act that way. I'd always been a very cautious and even anxious person. It was something instinctual and something very female driving me. It wasn't really planned and strategized as much as felt. Kind of a calling that I just needed some time to explore this before I went forward in my life. People would tell me this is so brave, and I didn't, I didn't feel brave. I, but I felt I was acting on instinct. [ MUSIC ] Okay. So, Angie. Angie. In that time. I met several people had experience with several people learned not just about other people but about my self. Via these sexual experiences. And I also learned more about my marriage. Expecting your spouse to provide passion and security and purpose. It's a lot. Going through this process gave me all this experience that kind of turned into this awareness and this wisdom that, wow I was asking too much. And so now as a result I don't look to someone else. To, you know, kind if unfairly provide all of those things. And I couldn't have learned it. I don't think unless I actually went through it. 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