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By Eric Barker
February 14, 2015
IDEAS
Barker is the author of Barking Up The Wrong Tree

1) Definitely stare deep in their eyes

Oliver Burkeman’s Help! How to be slightly happier and get a bit more done pointed me to evidence that staring into each other’s eyes really does increase attraction:

2) Still early in the relationship? Talk about travel, not movies.

Via Quirkology: How We Discover the Big Truths in Small Things

3) Want to look more attractive?

How long does it take to determine if someone is hot? Thirteen milliseconds. Really: thirteen milliseconds.

Via Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?: Bodies, Behavior, and Brains–The Science Behind Sex, Love, & Attraction:

So you don’t have a lot of time but there are some things you can do:

4) Forget dinner. Go somewhere exciting for Valentine’s Day.

The research points again and again to how important thrills are:

  • Think a pleasant evening is all it takes? Researchers did a 10 week study comparing couples that engaged in “pleasant” activities vs “exciting” activities. Pleasant lost.

The fun moments are more powerful than the bad moments: “…how you celebrate is more predictive of strong relations than how you fight.”

Via Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being:

5) Go ahead and babytalk

Research shows it’s a good thing:

6) Best Valentine’s Day gift?

Studies show people like your gifts more when you stop being so creative and just get them what they want.

Dan Ariely, author of the excellent Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions, adds to that saying:

Wanna go even further and be doubly sure they’ll like that present? Wrap it. And guys? Flowers work.

(Did you receive a lousy gift for Valentine’s Day? Here are pro tips on how to act like you’re not horribly disappointed.)

7) Ask the right questions

Arthur Aron studies what makes people connect quickly and deeply and has found it can be a matter of just asking the right questions.

Via Sam Gosling’s book, Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You:

But how effective can this be really? In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong relationship.

Via Click: The Magic of Instant Connections:

(You can read some of Aron’s questions used here.)

Is all this making you a little crazy?

That’s okay. Love could be classified as a mental illness:

Via Fascinate: Your 7 Triggers to Persuasion and Captivation:

This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

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Recipe For A Happy Marriage: The 7 Scientific Secrets

10 ways science explains why James Bond is so irresistible to women

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