--- title: Why It's Better to Be Single on Valentine's Day description: Valentine's Day is the day you find out how committed your partner really is, and it's a minefield. You're better off avoiding it entirely. canonical: https://time.com/3703157/valentines-day-single-is-better/ author: TIME article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2015-02-10T17:31:19.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-08-19T07:42:20.096Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Why It's Better to Be Single on Valentine's Day og:description: Valentine's Day is the day you find out how committed your partner really is, and it's a minefield. You're better off avoiding it entirely. og:url: https://time.com/3703157/valentines-day-single-is-better/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt7dbe74b8ed2d1dd1/69877e73428a9eacc3cc70fb/single-woman.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 2560 og:image:height: 1440 og:image:alt: Single Woman og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Why It's Better to Be Single on Valentine's Day twitter:description: Valentine's Day is the day you find out how committed your partner really is, and it's a minefield. You're better off avoiding it entirely. twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt7dbe74b8ed2d1dd1/69877e73428a9eacc3cc70fb/single-woman.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # It's Better to Be Single on Valentine's Day > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: August 2026. ## TIME Inside TIME: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition Inside TIME is one of seven email newsletters published by TIME, the news organization founded in 1923. A closer look at TIME's latest cover and our most compelling stories. Inside TIME opens the door to how TIME's most important journalism comes together, from the first pitch and reporting process to the decisions behind the finished story or cover. Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs takes readers inside the newsroom, revealing the journalists, ideas and editorial choices behind the stories shaping the global conversation. 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It explains how TIME's journalism is made, from the first pitch through the editorial decisions behind a finished story or cover. #### How can I read about how TIME chooses its covers? Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. ## Video: First Grade Valentines [Watch (HLS stream): First Grade Valentines](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/dxn3NutC.m3u8) (2:35)  _Published 2010-02-10. Out of the mouths of babes, love is explained. Brooklyn first graders write and read their valentines and describe the meaning of Valentines Day_ by [Neil McArthur](https://time.com/author/neil-mcarthur/) and [Marina Adshade](https://time.com/author/marina-adshade/) Feb 10, 2015 5:31 PM UTC  Business woman taking break by waterfront, Copenhagen, Denmark Business woman taking break by waterfront, Copenhagen, Denmark Getty Images by [Neil McArthur](https://time.com/author/neil-mcarthur/) and [Marina Adshade](https://time.com/author/marina-adshade/) Feb 10, 2015 5:31 PM UTC “I really love Valentine’s Day!” said no unattached person, ever. And why shouldn’t the holiday be depressing for singles, when everyone else is basking in the glory that is romantic love. While this feeling is understandable, it’s not exactly rational; being in love is no more wonderful, and probably quite a bit less so, on Valentine’s Day than it is on any other day of the year. From an economic perspective, the value of Valentine’s Day is that it creates an environment in which those in relationships can get information about how [committed their partner is](http://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe-debate/forget-the-roses-read-the-signals/article16847501/). Of course, we look for this information throughout the year, but February 14 is the one day when you have to show your hand. From this perspective, Valentine’s Day is a massive coordinated effort in which men and women have little choice but to spend time and money to assure their partners that they are loved. And boy do they spend. The [National Retail Federation](https://nrf.com/media/press-releases/cupid-shower-americans-jewelry-candy-this-valentines-day) predicts that Americans will spend a total of $19 billion on Valentine’s giving this year. That averages out to $142 per person celebrating the holiday. But it is not just the expense that makes it better to be single on Valentine’s Day. To understand why you are better off unattached, it is best to think of gift giving on this day as a type of [Prisoner’s Dilemma](http://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/prisoners-dilemma.asp), the outcome of which determines whether or not a person wants to stay in a relationship. Valentine’s Day, essentially, is a game in which each person who is in a relationship must choose between two strategies; buy a gift for their significant other or do nothing to celebrate the day. Given that there are two players, each with two strategic options, there are three possible outcomes that can happen on the big day. The first outcome is that both choose to buy gifts. In this case, both will be satisfied that their partner is committed to the relationship, but that satisfaction comes at a cost. Unlike Christmas, when you occasionally get things you actually want, the vast majority of spending on Valentine’s Day is on items that people do not choose for themselves; 53% receive candy, 38% receive flowers, 21% receive jewelry, and 51% receive greeting cards. The reason we rarely buy these things for ourselves is because they cost more than we personally value them. So when our partners buy them for us, they are not getting the biggest bang for their buck in terms of our happiness. And on Valentine’s Day, these [things often cost more](http://www.bankrate.com/finance/personal-finance/why-roses-cost-more-on-valentine-s-day-1.aspx) than they do on other days of the year. The second outcome is that one person in the relationship buys a gift and the other does not. This will likely leave the gift giver with the impression that his or her partner is not committed to the relationship. From now until the middle of March is the one of the [biggest times of the year for break ups](http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/2010/peak-break-up-times-on-facebook/), according to data from Facebook, and [53% of women](http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/single-women-surveyed-on-matchcom-say-no-gift-is-a-no-no-for-valentines-day-74075032.html) say they would dump a guy who ignored Valentine’s Day, two facts that suggest that people who choose this strategy do not end up with much relationship happiness. The final outcome is that neither person in the relationship gives a gift. This is the outcome that has the biggest return for the couple, especially for those who are already confidently committed. But it is also the outcome that is least likely to occur; the risk is just too high that one person will decide, maybe even at the last minute, to buy a gift for either partner to take the chance that they are going to find themselves in the second outcome — and potentially in the dog house. ### Photographing a Kiss: Long Time Love Affairs  Joseph and Dorothy Bolotin Sharon, Pennsylvania Married on June 16, 1938\. Dorothy, "I never think of it in terms of years. I think of it in terms of good years. In love, hot romance doesn’t last forever. So I would say that yes, I think love changes. I would say we’re still in love. It’s focusing, doing little things. He’s an amazing man." Lauren Fleishman  John and Sherma Campbell Star Valley, Wyoming Married on May 13, 1955\. Sherma, "When you start out, you think you love each other as much as you possibly can,but love grows—just like your inner self grows as time goes by and you have experiences.And now at this stage of the game, I love him even more. I can’t even imagine life without him." Lauren Fleishman  Jin Lin and Lai Mei Chen Brooklyn, New York Married on February 4, 1961\. Jin Lin, "We had so many things in common it was like our hearts were the same." Lauren Fleishman  de'Spagnolis Aldo de’Spagnolis and Maria Filiozzi Itri, Italy Married on October 23, 1949\. Aldo, "When I first saw her, she was 14 and I was 22.Was there a concern that she was too young for me? No! Even now I look like a young child! Yes, even now I’m still young." Lauren Fleishman  Jake and Mary Jacobs Solihull, England Married on April 27, 1948\. Mary,"Jake said to me,'Would it ever be possible for me to marry you?' And I said,'Possible but not probable!' And that’s how it was. It wasn’t likely that I would ever marry him, and he knew that. So when he went home to Trinidad, my mother and father breathed a sigh of relief. But he used to write, and he said, 'I’m thinking I might come back to England.'" Lauren Fleishman  Kissin Yevgeniy and Lyubov Kissin Brooklyn, New York Married on June 29, 1941\. Yevgeniy, "We met at a dancing party. It was in January 1938\. My friend invited me to the party, he said there would be a lot of beautiful young girls. Another cadet with high boots had approached her, but she didn’t like high boots and so she said no to him. I was the second one to approach her. I had a different uniform, but I’m still not sure if it was my uniform or my face that attracted her to me." Lauren Fleishman  Itig and Golda Pollac Brooklyn, New York Married on August 13, 1946\. Golda, "I would say love came little by little. Not right away.We were young.And he was older, but I liked him. He spoke to me in a very nice way." Lauren Fleishman  Yaakov and Mariya Shapirshetyn Brooklyn, New York Married on July 6, 1949\. Yaakov, "What is the secret to love? A secret is a secret, and I don’t reveal my secrets." Lauren Fleishman  Gino and Angie Terranova Staten Island. New York Married on September 27, 1947\. Angie, "You really don’t think about getting older. First of all, you’re aging together, and when you see a person constantly,you don’t notice big changes. Like you don’t notice, oh you’re getting a little wrinkle here and tomorrow you say it’s a little deeper. No, those are things that just happen." Lauren Fleishman The best strategy would be for couples to ignore the holiday altogether, but they won’t because there is just too much pressure to conform to the holiday traditions from both inside and outside the relationship. From a game strategic perspective, participating in the holiday just leads to sub-optimal outcomes. So, if you are single on Valentine’s Day, you are only missing out on the opportunity to participate in an exercise that makes everyone involved worse off than they would have been had the holiday not existed at all. Clearly, you are better off being single on Valentine’s Day. And you are certainly no worse off by being single this Saturday than you are any other day of the year. So, if you really want to enjoy the day, go buy yourself something that you actually want. And, in the future, you might think about dating someone with whom you arrange an efficient allocation of resources on Valentine’s Day; we recommend dating an economist. ## Transcript >> People give kisses and it's all wet. >> When like someone kiss you, you [ unk ]. >> Today, we're gonna be talking about Valentine's Day. It's a day where we get to celebrate all the important people in our lives and how much we care about them and love them and all the great things they do for us. You're gonna get to write a special Valentine for that special someone. Valentine's letters. Who are you gonna write to [ unk ]. I'm seeing lots of " I love you's" and " You're special to me ". All really nice things to write to a valentines. >> Told you. >> Dear Mom. >> Dear Mom. >> Dear Mom. >> Dear Michael Jackson, I know that you are a pop star. -[ unk ] >> Valentine's Day is a holiday about love. >> Mean you love someone? >> That means when they [ unk ] someone [ unk ]. >> Well, I've done it first. >> Nice, loud, clear voice. >> You keep me safe. You buy me anything I want. I am [ unk ] hug you. -[ unk ] you kiss me [ unk ] you will always love me in the heart. You are my best mother. >> Do I need to [ unk ]. >> Dad, you are special to me. From [ unk ]. >> Happy Valentine's Day! >> Good job everyone. [ unk ] a Valentine? >> Me. >> We all did. >> Better is with a computer. >> Computer. >> Computer. >> I'll send email. >> Paper is not digital. It's just paper. You can just do it on the computer. It doesn't make it sloppy. >> You can love whoever's in your family even your Auntie. 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