![490951157 excited-people](https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/490951157-copy.jpg?quality=85&w=2400)
Focus on increasing the amount of good stuff in your life vs. reducing the amount of bad stuff. Studies show that it really is the little things in life that make us happy.
Researchers often tout the happiness-increasing powers of both religion and exercise. One of the lesser known reasons why they’re so effective is because both provide regular, frequent boosts.
You may be focused on a big goal, something that you’re sure will make you super-happy for a long time… but you’re probably misguided. When it comes to happiness, frequency beats intensity.
Why? One reason is that it’s harder to take for granted a lot of little things vs one, big rare event. Another reason is that “in everyday life, bad events have stronger and more lasting consequences than comparable good events” — so we need more good to make up for unexpected misfortunes.
This “more good beats less bad” theory works across many domains:
With friends:
The best way to maximize happiness when having meals with friends is for one person to take a turn each time paying for everyone’s dinner. It’s a big hit but it results in many more “free” meals for everyone, boosting happiness.
At work:
The best work teams had a five to one ratio of positive vs negative interactions together.
In relationships:
Divorce may have less to do with an increase in conflict and more to do with a decrease in positive feelings. Wanna stay together? Do exciting stuff to keep things fun.
But what if creating more good things in your life is difficult due to constraints of time or money?
Just savoring the good moments you do have (even little ones) is the single most proven method for increasing happiness. It’s effectively treated people withmild/moderate depression. Reliving fun moments with your partner can improve a relationship. Savoring the good things in life is one of the secrets of the happiest people.
This piece originally appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.
Join over 150,000 readers and get a free weekly update via email here.
Related posts:
What 10 things should you do every day to improve your life?
How To Make Your Life Better By Sending Five Simple Emails
4 Lifehacks From Ancient Philosophers That Will Make You Happier
More Must-Reads from TIME
- Eyewitness Accounts From the Trump Rally Shooting
- Politicians Condemn Trump Rally Shooting: ‘No Place for Political Violence in Our Democracy’
- From 2022: How the Threat of Political Violence Is Transforming America
- ‘We’re Living in a Nightmare:’ Inside the Health Crisis of a Texas Bitcoin Town
- Remembering Shannen Doherty , the Quintessential Gen X Girl
- How Often Do You Really Need to Wash Your Sheets?
- Welcome to the Noah Lyles Olympics
- Get Our Paris Olympics Newsletter in Your Inbox
Contact us at letters@time.com