How Can I Make This News Linking Selfies and Narcissism About Me?

The International Business Times reports that scientists have found a link between selfies and narcissism which honestly makes no sense because it’s like, how else am I supposed to derive self-worth other than posting filtered photos of my face for creepy dudes I went to high school with to save to their desktops?

“Selfies frequently trigger perceptions of self-indulgence or attention-seeking social dependence that raises the damned-if-you-do and damned-if-you-don’t spectre of either narcissism or low self-esteem,” said psychologist Pamela Rutledge, according to the IB Times.

So, to recap: Selfies are narcissistic. Selfies matter. Selfies are a cry for help. Selfies are feminist. Selfies ruin relationships.

How does my hair look, btw?