It’s movie night, people. It’s dark, it’s chilly, and we’re three weeks out from Halloween. You have an Internet full of streaming spooky thrillers — but how can you possibly pick? Listen, picking the right movie is very important. Like choosing which college to attend or what to name your child, you don’t want to end up with something you’ll regret for the rest of your life.
Don’t freak out yet — you’ve got this. We’ve assembled 22 of the best scary movies currently streaming on Netflix, Hulu, Crackle, and Amazon Prime. We’ve broken them down into a super-simple guide to help you figure out the perfect movie to watch based on your mood, platform, and the crowd you’re watching with.
It’s the first Saturday in October. And, life is short, so make this one count. That means taking off your going-out shoes, and parking it on the couch. Now, you just need to find the perfect sweatpants to change into. You can do this.
The Craft
What Happens: Four girls dabble in witchcraft and overalls. Hijinks ensue.
How Scary Is It: If you’re creeped out by snakes, run.
Why Should I Watch It: You miss chokers and Fairuza Balk.
Where Can I Find It: Crackle, Amazon Prime.
Who Do I Watch With: Your lady friends and wine and some more wine.
The Moth Diaries
What Happens: Sexy new girl comes to boarding school and makes it rain blood. Roommate has trouble adjusting.
How Scary Is It: Like all vampires, these are way too emo to scare anyone.
Why Should I Watch It: You’re into vampires but can’t stand Twilight or True Blood.
Where Can I Find It: Hulu.
Who Do I Watch With: A friend you might like to be more than a friend. Or a friend you might like to rain blood upon. Either way, this’ll get you in the mood.
Carrie
What Happens: Best. Prom. Ever.
How Scary Is It: Mean girls, first periods, AND telekinesis? This one’s not for wimps.
Why Should I Watch It: You’ve been royally screwed and feel like burning down someone’s house, dropping the mic, and leaving.
Where Can I Find It: Netflix, Amazon Prime.
Who Do I Watch With: Your high school BFF (the one who got picked on by Casey R., too).
Rosemary’s Baby
What Happens: Couple’s new apartment might be next door to Satan worshippers, but it has two bathrooms and a working fireplace, so…
How Scary Is It: Enough to make you move to the suburbs.
Why Should I Watch It: You’ve never seen this before and are sick of everyone bugging you about it (but seriously get on this ASAP. What is your problem?).
Where Can I Find It: Netflix.
Who Do I Watch With: The understanding that you probably cannot pull of this haircut.
The Human Centipede: First Sequence
What Happens: Google it.
How Scary Is It: I mean, did you Google it?
Why Should I Watch It: Someone double-dog dared you to.
Where Can I Find It: Netflix, Amazon Prime, and ideally, the smallest screen possible.
Who Do I Watch With: A barf bag.
American Psycho
What Happens: Businessman has a real case of the Mondays.
How Scary Is It: As scary as the face Christian Bale is making here.
Why Should I Watch It: You’re into sex, drugs, and murdering hookers with chainsaws.
What Happens: Town is terrorized by serial killer who does NOT care for Drew Barrymore movies.
How Scary Is It: It was written by the same guy who created Dawson’s Creek. It’s about as scary as Dawson’s was serious and important: EXTREMELY.
Why Should I Watch It: Your mom didn’t let you watch it when it came out but you did anyway, then spent the next four months refusing to answer the phone.
Where Can I Find It: Netflix.
Who Do I Watch With: Your mom on speed dial, because she was right — you’re not mature enough to handle this.
The Blair Witch Project
What Happens: “Filmmakers” “investigate” a “local legend” in this “documentary.”
How Scary Is It: It was meh back then, but with the passage of time it’s still pretty meh.
Why Should I Watch It: Back in the day, your friend told you this was real and you’d like to see just what an idiot you were for believing him.
Where Can I Find It: Netflix, Amazon Prime.
Who Do I Watch With: That same jerk friend, ideally. Make him pay for the pizza and beer.
Repulsion
What Happens: Woman spends all weekend in her pajamas, but it’s not as awesome as it sounds.
How Scary Is It: As scary as the insidious threat of misogyny endemic to contemporary culture. Also, WTF, there are hands coming out of the walls!
Why Should I Watch It: You’re feeling more psychological-thriller than pop-out-and-scare-you. Also, if you’d like to see Catherine Deneuve manage to look super cute while going cuh-razy.
Where Can I Find It: Crackle.
Who Do I Watch With: The film major you’re trying to impress.
Single White Female
What Happens: Bridget Fonda’s roommate just wants to hang out. Why is she being so weird about it?
How Scary Is It: It’s tough to beat mid-90s Jennifer Jason Leigh in terms of creepiness.
Why Should I Watch It: Your roommate sucks and you’re looking for justification to kick her out.
Where Can I Find It: Hulu, Netflix.
Who Do I Watch With: Your roommate. Maybe she’ll take the hint. Or she’ll try to kill you. Still, it’s worth a shot.
House on Haunted Hill
What Happens: Rich guy pits strangers against each other for his own amusement because he doesn’t have a job and his jet ski’s in the shop.
How Scary Is It: I think the mustache speaks for itself, here.
Why Should I Watch It: You secretly miss haunted houses.
Where Can I Find It: Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime.
Who Do I Watch With: Someone who definitely won’t kill you for $10,000.
