By Nolan Feeney
As the debate over Scottish independence heats up ahead of the Sept. 18 referendum, the world is finally hearing from key figures in global politics — like The Simpsons‘ Groundskeeper Willie, the self-professed “prodigal son” of Scotland and the groundskeeper at Springfield Elementary School.
While Willie tries to be diplomatic about the close vote, it’s clear he’s on the side of independence — if only so he can throw his name into the pile as a potential leader. His platform? “I’ve lived in America most of my life,” he says, “so I’ve seen first-hand how not to run a country.”
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Write to Nolan Feeney at nolan.feeney@time.com