--- description: There's a lost opportunity every time we make girls and women individually responsible for avoiding rape title: I Shouldn't Have to Dip My Nails In a Drink to Reduce My Risk of Rape image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt8b989628a370c4fc/6986a0ff1eebf7819e372679/102757479.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Ideas](/section/ideas/) ## Ideas Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close * [feminism](/tag/feminism/) ## feminism Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close # I Shouldn't Have to Dip My Nails In a Drink to Reduce My Risk of Rape ## Video: My Rapist Is Still on Campus: Sexual Assault in the Ivy League [Watch (HLS stream): My Rapist Is Still on Campus: Sexual Assault in the Ivy League](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/o8izpqKu.m3u8) (6:50)  _Published 2014-05-14. In April, 23 Columbia and Barnard students filed a federal Title IX complaint alleging that the University mishandled sexual assault cases_ by [Soraya Chemaly](/author/soraya-chemaly/) ## Soraya Chemaly Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Aug 27, 2014 1:51 PM CUT  Hand holding martini glass Hand holding martini glassTetra Images—Getty Images/Tetra images RF by [Soraya Chemaly](/author/soraya-chemaly/) ## Soraya Chemaly Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Aug 27, 2014 1:51 PM CUT Every few months, a new product to help women avoid rape hits the market. This week’s is [an innovative new nail polish](http://www.ibtimes.co.in/nail-polish-detects-date-rape-drugs-drinks-more-anti-rape-products-607570 "undefined") that can identify the presence of drugs when dipped in a drink. Considering that [conservative estimates](http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-1/43-51.htm "undefined") put the percentage of American women who’ve suffered sexual assault between 20%-25%, there’s huge market potential for this product. Of course, there is the fact that roofies, a nickname derived from the sedative Rohypnol, are less commonly used by serial predators than alcohol itself. A 2007 National Institute of Justice [study](https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/221153.pdf "undefined") found that only 2.4% of sexually assaulted [female undergraduates](https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/221153.pdf "undefined") were either certain or thought that they’d been drugged. On the other hand, [studies](https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/221153.pdf "undefined") conducted on college campuses show that alcohol is involved in [anywhere between 50%-90%](http://www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov/media/journal/118-abbey.pdf "undefined") of sexual assaults. It is the [weapon of choice](http://www.middlebury.edu/media/view/240951/original/ "undefined"), as expert David Lisak [puts it](http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124272157 "undefined"). I don’t want to dip my nails into a drink. Or stop wearing my hair in a [ponytail](http://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-a-Potential-Rape "undefined"). Or start [wearing hairy tights](http://lipmag.com/opinion/would-you-wear-these-tights-as-an-anti-rape-device/ "undefined"). Before I die, I’d like to not have to [ask a man to walk me home](http://host.madison.com/daily-cardinal/news/campus/from-victim-to-advocate-one-sexual-assault-survivor-shares-her/article%5Fbd6f8ac2-9cff-11e2-afd3-001a4bcf887a.html "undefined") at night. Cool new nail polish is just the latest in way for us to adapt to rape. From the moment we are born, girls are told to change: change our [clothes](http://hellogiggles.com/this-company-aims-to-create-anti-rape-clothing "undefined"), our hair, our[ belt buckles](http://www.thelocal.se/20120211/2546#.UZrAm5x7R8E "undefined"), our [underwear](http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2013/nov/11/problem-anti-rape-underwear-chastity-belt "undefined"), [our walks, our commutes](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-369262/Women-blame-raped.html "undefined"), our friends, even our [vaginas](http://www.coolthings.com/rape-axe-condoms-that-bite-is-crazy-invention-of-the-day/ "undefined"). At the same time, the topic of avoiding rape for men is usually just a bad joke. What do men do if they want to avoid rape? “[Stay out of jail](http://drcourterzz.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/no-more-ponytails-a-message-on-victim-blaming/ "undefined").” The sick irony of this joke is that it’s true. In reality, the only place where male adults in the U.S. come close to facing the same level of [risk for rape as women is in jail](http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/cifamerica/2012/feb/21/us-more-men-raped-than-women "undefined"). Even then, women inmates face twice the risk. But that bad joke perpetuates a rape myth. Most men who have experienced rape, [reported](http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs%5Freport2010-a.pdf "undefined") at 1 out of 71, are assaulted as boys. But what does it say that women’s day-to-day reality of “staying safe” is thought to be comparable to the plight of men in jail? Despite everything we are trained to do, we can’t change the one thing that matters the most: the fact of our femaleness. The most highly ranked [risk factor](http://vc.bridgew.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1648&context=jiws "undefined") for being raped is being a female. Girls and young women below the age of 30 make up more than [80% of rape victims](https://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims "undefined"), regardless of what they wear, what they drink or where they walk. While women can and do rape boys, girls and women are raped by men in an overwhelming number of cases. (Men are also the primary offenders in the rape of boys.) And yet, in the popular commodification of sexual assault, there are no deodorants rapists can wear that stain their armpits with indelible ink when they’re about to rape someone. Or [binding underwear](http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/anti-rape-wear-save-women-article-1.1515379 "undefined") that makes it impossible for them to whip out a weaponized John Thomas. Or [electrified jock straps](http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/apr/3/indian-students-create-electrified-bra-deter-rapis/ "undefined"). [According to the CDC](http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/nisvs/index.html "undefined"), in the United States nearly one in five women reports having been raped or experiencing an attempted rape at some point. One in four suffer violence at the hands of an intimate partner. One in six women report being stalked. This level of violence is terrorism. Women and non-gender conforming people live with fear in ways that men, particularly those who present as straight men, find hard to fathom. Women have [heightened awareness](http://wcr.sonoma.edu/v4n3/Manuscripts/scott.pdf "undefined") of stranger dangers related to sexual assault, even though the chances they are assaulted by an acquaintance or partner are higher. Women change their lives, at great cost, because of threats to their physical safety that are largely tied to the fear of rape. Every time we focus on making girls and women individually responsible for avoiding rape, we lose the opportunity to address the systemic root problem that our mainstream culture grows rapists like weeds. Despite my snark, I do understand the need to balance safety with change. I don’t doubt the good intentions of the inventors of these products, but their true value resides less in their questionable efficacy than in the fact that young men like the creators of this one are engaged in confronting rape culture. However, each and every instance of “how to avoid rape” that media takes up is one less instance of explaining rape and reducing its pervasive threat. _Soraya Chemaly is a media critic and feminist writer whose work focuses on the role of gender and sexualized violence in culture, politics, religion and free speech. 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