Last weekend, I attended a funeral for a 45-year-old woman. I didn’t know her well, but her husband invited the community to show its support for their three children. The service brought back many memories of a dear friend who also lost her battle with cancer at 45, and who was also a mother to three children. Cancer just doesn’t care.

Adults know that cancer comes in all shapes and stages, and that the word doesn’t indicate just one outcome. But not all kids do. After my children witnessed my grief for my friend, I worried that they’d forever associate the word cancer with death. I later tried likening it to COVID: For some people, it’s not so serious, for others it can be really bad. It's an imperfect analogy.

As with the disease itself, there’s no one-size-fits-all way a parent with cancer should approach telling their children. But there are tools everyone can benefit from. In “How to Talk to Kids When a Parent Has Cancer,” Sarah Klein explores the topic, with the help of experts. It can help to choose your words wisely, she explains, but you don’t have to shy away from heavy conversations.

Statistically, it’s likely that some of you have had to or will have to confront this conversation. If you have any experience or thoughts to share, you can write to me at andrea@time.com.

Best,
Andrea