Top 10 Online Dating Fails

Here’s a pretty good sign that your suitor isn’t over his last relationship: He pays $5,000 to have Match.com find him someone that looks like his ex-girlfriend. Match paired up with startup Three Day Rule in June to charge premium prices for their facial recognition software services. I mean, we all have types, but maybe this is taking things a little bit too far?

Cuddlr is the app that nightmares are made of. Although its founder Charlie Williams promises that the location based app isn’t for sex, he says it is for facilitating “platonic” cuddle sessions with nearby complete strangers. “A cuddle is longer than a hug, but shorter than a date, so you’re not faced with having to sit through a drink or two if you’ve decided someone isn’t for you,” he explained to Salon. “You can politely end a cuddle any time.” Cuddlers can then rank their partner, like an Uber ride.

In February, Wired looked into the 1,000 most popular words that appear on men and women’s online dating profiles on Match.com and OKCupid. There were quite a few dichotomies. For example, while “retirement” was the most attractive work-related word found on a man’s profile, potential suitors thought it was the second least attractive word to see on a woman’s profile. While it’s unclear what context “retirement” was being used in — be it a current state, asipiration, or favorite conversation topic — Wired came to the “sad but true” conclusion that “For men, age seems to equal money. For women, age equals age.”

A New York OKCupid user reacted to his online date declining an offer to go back to his apartment after a decent first date by 1) throwing a water bottle at her, 2) stealing her phone, 3) posting “I’m available for threesomes” on her dating profile. “I guess he doesn’t take rejection well, he was acting like a child,” the 22-year-old single mother of a 2-year-old who definitely doesn’t have time for this told the NYPost.

New York dater Michael Picciano sued OKCupid in March for the $70,000 (not-so) “genuineguy62” scammed him out of during their month-long, online correspondence which started on OKC. He thought that the self-proclaimed “best free dating site on Earth” wouldn’t let catfishers through its virtual doors. The results of the suit were not reported. Even though it seems like common sense to not open your heart and your bank account to a total stranger without meeting, Picciano wasn’t the first person online to get played this year. And with a few weeks left of 2014, he probably won’t be the last.

Jennifer Purdie wrote a first person account for Daily Dot in July about a very short — and very expensive — first date. As Purdie tells it, she had been working on her laptop before her online date joined her at a coffee shop. As soon as he sat down next to her, he allegedly spilled his scalding hot tea on her legs and her computer which she says “started gurgling and then made electricity sounds like the ones you hear coming from haunted houses at Halloween.” According to Purdie, the guy offered to go halvsies on the $900 repair, but then texted “If you want my money, sue me.” So she did. Ah, modern courtship.

Facebook isn’t the only website running experiments on people. To relaunch its beloved company blog in July, OKCupid revealed some pretty deflating news: It runs tests on its users all the time! One time, OKC told people who were bad matches (30%) that they actually were 90% compatible. Just to see what happened. So if you had any truly heinous conversations with “good” matches, you know what happened. Just stop trying.

In November, a truly atrocious Tinder date went viral after innocent bystander Carrie Matha, owner of a couture company called the Indira Collection, started tweeting out all cringe-worthy things the guy was saying to his date.

They revealed him to be:
Culturally insensitive

Immodest

Not all that generous

And not so loyal either

The tweets went mega-viral and even if they’re fake, anyone who’s spent anytime dating online would probably vouch for the idea that these kinds of conversations go on all the time.

It can be tough out there for women on dating sites. An Instagram account called Bye Felipe made headlines in November for posting hostile interactions between men and women on dating apps and sites. They range from funny to downright terrifying — often including violent threats to women who spurn advances. The horrifying posts can be read here.

Thirty-year-old Genoveva Nunez-Figuero had to get rescued by California’s Ventura County Fire Department this October after getting stuck in the chimney of the home of a man she had met on a dating site. They had been on six dates. Her date, a man named Lawrence, told KTLA 5, that he found her up on his roof, at around which point he ended the relationship. That did not stop her from trying to see him again which is how, we presume, she wound up stuck 8 ft down his chimney. The fire department had to use soap as a lubricant to slide her out. They also posted pictures of the debacle on Twitter.

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