Don't listen to the haters
We saw you just signed a big deal with Warner Bros. Don’t know if you’re aware, but that studio filed new trademarks for Space Jam last month. You’ve said it was one of your favorite movies as a kid and you might be interested in starring in a sequel, but you haven’t confirmed anything. You may still be considering whether or not to sign on to Space Jam 2, and we’re here to tell you it’s a great idea.
But first, we’re going to be straight with you. Not everyone is thrilled with the idea of you doing Space Jam 2. For example:
Space Jam 2 will be a modest hit no matter what. Children of the ’90s will see it. Basketball fans will see it. Kids will see it. Your kids will see it, which is great since I’m guessing they’re not old enough to watch Trainwreck yet.
It’s not like Space Jam is going to win you an Oscar, but it will probably be better than those cell phone commercials. Heck, if Space Jam was good enough for the best basketball player of all time, it’s good enough for you. (Yes, LeBron. I still think ’90s MJ could beat you. But I’m from Chicago, so don’t be too offended.)
You have to be careful, though. Not many athletes can succeed on the big screen. The few who do have never been afraid to have fun at their own expense. Look at Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, who happily stuffed his big frame into tutus in Tooth Fairy and hilariously busted through his own cast while flexing his muscular arms in Furious 6. Now he has his very own HBO show and summer blockbuster.
You did a bit of this in Trainwreck. The Downton Abbey bit and “Cleveland is for families”? That’s gold. But lean into it. Maybe make a joke about the whole obnoxious “not one, not two, not three…” thing in Space Jam 2. Just saying.
And if you do decide to do Space Jam 2, make sure a top notch team is onboard. (The return of Bill Murray to the franchise would be ideal, but I hear that guy can be elusive.) You started your career by working with two of the most brilliant comic minds in the industry—Amy Schumer and Judd Apatow. Work with that caliber of talent in the future or just say no. We don’t want another Kazam situation on our hands. Your endorsement deals will keep you afloat until a better offer comes along.
Now go beat those Monstars!