And a new type of teen rebellion |

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belinda-luscombe
Helloey parents,

While chatting with me this week, my daughter caught me muttering under my breath. "What did you say?" she asked. I told her it was nothing. But she insisted she had heard me say something and wanted to know what it was. "I was just telling myself to shut up," I answered. She paused a moment. "I wish you'd say that to yourself more often." My aim in telling you this story is (a) to remind you, as I needed to be reminded, that our kids don't really need our opinions on how they're doing what they're doing, or our suggestions, or our advice. If they need it, they'll ask. And (b) although it really is what I was telling myself, I realized you can use that line whenever you have said something you'd rather not repeat. You're welcome.

As ever, you can reach me at belinda.luscombe@time.com or @luscombeland on Twitter.

P.S. If you like this newsletter, please pass it on to a friend. And if you got it from a friend, sign up here for email delivery each Friday. You know, more or less.
roundup

First up, a little PSA that the flu shot is more effective this year than last. You may want to think about getting one, especially if your child is just starting school or daycare, because I promise you, they are just little vesslels of agar jelly, wandering around collecting bacteria and viruses and bringing them home to you. TIME

Ah, teen rebellion. How strange it is. An Ohio teenager decided the way to really get back at his parents was to get, no not a motorbike, no not a tattoo, not not a piercing, but a set of vaccinations. He was 18. Next up, some crazy teen is going to start eating whole wheat bread just to really stick it to her folks. TIME

Valentine's Day marked a year since the awful, inexplicable, every-parents'-worst-nightmare school shooting at Parkland, Florida. Nicole Hockley, who lost her son in another terrible event in 2014, at Sandy Hook, offers some advice to the Parkland parents about how she got through her first year. She did something death defying. TIME

A dad whose wife was given only 1000 days to live wrote about their decision to shield the kids from this knowledge. She wanted them to have normal childhoods. I am in awe of these people. I can't even stub my toe without having to send out an all points bulletin. If you decide to read this story do not do so at work or anywhere very public because YOU WILL CRY. The Atlantic

Depression affects 15% of new mothers. That included me. At least I think it did. I remember wondering why after my first child was born, at what was supposed to be the happiest time of my life, I could see no joy on the horizon. Everything felt so bleak. Mind you I was living in a borrowed apartment and I couldn't figure out how to breastfeed, so maybe it wasn't the IDEAL way to bring a child into the world. In any case, a group of experts is now recommending that  all primary care providers offer referrals to mental health counselors for new or expectant mothers. Its recommendation may also (but don't hold your breath) prompt insurance companies to consider covering such assistance. TIME

Studies have shown that one of the best ways to fight resentment, (non-clinical) depression and tedium is gratitude. Therefore I commend to you this incredible and beautiful photo essay, photographed by the great Lyndsey Addario and written by Time's wonderful Aryn Baker about a group of midwives who work under the most pressing of conditions. I believe it will not only make your grateful for what and your children have, but also grateful that there are women like these midwives who make sure mothers can deliver safely no matter where they are. TIME

PFFT: Parenting from Famous Types

Ray Romano, comedian and father of four, on driving his kid home just before nap time

"I kept a water gun in the glove compartment, because he ain't sleeping.”

 
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