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belinda-luscombe
Hello little wretch-wranglers,

I took a lot of solace from watching the Canadian ice skater Gabrielle Daleman fall over and over again at the Olympics this week. No, it's not that I wanted her to fail. Who doesn't love Canada and its pretty-boy PM? The 20-year-old Canadian champion already had a gold medal from the team event, but had probably the worst night of her life on the ice. She tumbled on her jumps, she over rotated, her spins were slow. But, you know, she kept at it. She didn't even try to make her routine easier, just tried again and fell again. Sometimes this happens as a parent too: situations you are normally very adept at handling suddenly overwhelm you and you don't quite stick the landing with the ones you love. Other times, the ice is treacherous; your kid stumbles or makes a mistake that's hard to recover from. Not much you can do except shake it off, make sure everyone is OK, get some sleep or some food and see if you can do it better next time.

I’m at belinda.luscombe@time.com or @luscombeland on Twitter. Feel free to follow me, but not necessarily my parenting philosophy.

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roundup

Time's issue this week was given over entirely to the opioid crisis. It's an incredible photo essay and worth checking out. The epidemic is having an effect on families too, because children are losing their parents to addiction, which is straining the foster system at the seams. The director of Daddy's Home, Sean Anders, was kind enough to tell us about his experience fostering kids, which he recommends. TIME.

One of the proposed solutions to the issue of the mass slaughter of children in their schools by troubled/evil individuals with access to too much firepower in the wake of the Florida shooting last week (and yes, I feel strongly about this) is to give teachers some training, some extra pay and some weaponry. Here's what a  marine-turned teacher thinks of that. TIME

Children have a significant role to play in the development of empathy in their brothers and sisters. This goes both ways: younger siblings elicit empathy in their older sibs, and learn empathy from watching them. A new longitudinal study showed the only exception was on older sisters who have younger brothers. I like to think they're empathetic enough already, but I could be dreaming. Here's a summary of the new research. Society for Research in Child Development

Scientists are not in agreement over when adolescence begins. That is, when a child is no longer a child, but also not yet an adult. As this story says "the debate is taking on more urgency as researchers have realized that adolescence helps to set the trajectory for adult life, and as judges and doctors try to fix boundaries on when a person is competent to make adult decisions." Nature

Farmers and agricultural workers don't work regular hours. Childcare therefore is very difficult. When one adult stays home to look after the kids, that's crops not gathered. Here's a wonky but interesting dive into how to address the issue of farmwork and childcare. The New Food Economy

This story about boys and how they're not OK got a lot of attention this week. Have we worried so much about our daughters that we've overlooked the needs of our sons? What do we do with these beings who have emotions but no safe avenues for expressing them? This is a subject, I believe, we will be returning to often. The New York Times

At the risk of being a total downer this week, I want to salute these parents who are coming together in the wake of hazing tragedies to try to make university safer for their kids. TIME

PFFT: Parenting from Famous Types

Kelly Corrigan, author and mother of two

“That's how it works: someone important believes in you, loudly and with conviction and against all substantiation, and, over time, we begin to believe too—not in our shot at perfection, mind you, but in the good enough version of us they have reflected.”

 
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