Plus, dad's epic school pickup |

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belinda-luscombe
Greetings people with progeny

Let's be honest. Parents don't treat all of their children the same way. People say they do, but they don't. In fact, it would be wrong to do so, since our children are different and have different needs. One of my kids, for example, had to be hounded to do school work, but slept like a champ. When I tell the other to do homework, I'm usually interrupting homework to do so. That child, instead, has to be shepherded to bed. Hence parenting advice can be a bit tricky: either too broad or too niche. I like to think what we have this week is, instead, a smorgasbord. Have a great Memorial Day; hope you're reading this somewhere cushy and relaxed, with people you love nearby but not so close that you can't breathe.

P.S. If you like this weekly update, please pass it on to a friend. And if you got it from a friend, sign up here for email delivery each Friday. You know, more or less.
roundup

In case you need proof that different kids get different parenting, a fascinating new study examines how dads' brains look when they are interacting with their sons as opposed to with their daughters. TIME

Another new study says that enforcing sleep times, rather than just encouraging them, leads to more sleep for the kids overall. And more sleep leads to better health. One thing I am never sure about in these studies: How do they sort for general willingness of the child subjects to have rules enforced? Some kids thrive on structure and rules and others find them unbearable. It's pretty tough to enforce a teenager's bedtime, since many of them both sleep shift and resist authority. So parents go from enforcing rules to encouraging them; neither works, but because encouragement was the most recent thing they tried, it's the culprit. Daily Mail

Memorial Day is all about remembering  guys who fought for us. But what do you do when your kids ask about the guys who fought against us? A former Marine has an interesting take on this, prompted by a question from his son.  TIME

According to a new study out of the U.K., of all the social media sites, Instagram is the worst for young people's mental health. And YouTube is the best. I'm a bit dubious about this study, because I'm not sure the causation is quite clear, but also because it left out tumblr, my least favorite social network. But FWIW, Instagram with all its photos of people having a good time, gave kids the most FOMO. And if you don't know what that sentence means, ask a child.  TIME

Technically, this contract is for parents to use for kids with ADHD when they get their first smart phone or tablet, because the parents fear the child will get too distracted/absorbed and neglect other activities. But I think it might be useful for anyone who is getting their kid a new smart device. I know, I know, a contract, seems like overkill, but as with most contracts, it can save a lot of joy-sapping you said/I said arguments later. Understood

How do you manage to walk the line between getting your kid to do something he or she doesn't want to do, and letting him do what he or she wants without developing an entitled spoiled kid, and a horrible steaming pile of resentment within you? It's about staying calm and being the grown up, says psychologist Laura Markham. And if you're wondering how to do that, she has tips. Many. Psychology Today

In the delicate negotiation between parents about who should do what, or why someone is fuming about the current arrangement, it's sometimes helpful to have an illustrated manual to call upon. One nice French woman has provided one, and it has been translated. Voilá. Emmaclit

I don't know what this kid did for his dad to punish him like this. But I salute the dad's rigor and willingness to follow through. This takes some body confidence. Jukin Media

PFFT: Parenting from Famous Types

Kate Beckinsale, actress and mom of a daughter, on their likeness

"It is comforting to know that the family 'I am moments from throwing an elbow' face has been successfully passed down through the generations.”

 
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