--- title: Ze Frank on Labor Day and Socialism | TIME description: Ze Frank ponders Labor Day, Socialism, and hats! canonical: https://time.com/video/vsNjlB27/ og:title: Ze Frank on Labor Day and Socialism og:description: Ze Frank ponders Labor Day, Socialism, and hats! og:url: https://time.com/video/vsNjlB27/ og:image: https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/vsNjlB27/poster.jpg?width=720 og:type: video.other twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Ze Frank on Labor Day and Socialism twitter:description: Ze Frank ponders Labor Day, Socialism, and hats! twitter:image: https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/vsNjlB27/poster.jpg?width=720 --- # Ze Frank on Labor Day and Socialism > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. 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They are at time.com/newsletters and are separate from a paid subscription. ## Video: Ze Frank on Labor Day and Socialism [Watch (HLS stream): Ze Frank on Labor Day and Socialism](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/vsNjlB27.m3u8) (2:34)  _Published 2009-09-07. Ze Frank ponders Labor Day, Socialism, and hats!_ --- Jul 27, 2023 1:13 PM UTC --- ## More From This Series [All Videos](https://time.com/video/) [Ze Frank on Diplomacy \(and Winking\)](/video/ruGDd8Od/) ### Ze Frank on Diplomacy (and Winking) [Ze Frank: That Makes Me Think Of...](/video/CubScmCS/) ### Ze Frank: That Makes Me Think Of... [Ze Frank: That Makes Me Think of...](/video/CW0t33r9/) ### Ze Frank: That Makes Me Think of... --- ## Transcript So you know what's happening outside my window right now? My neighbors were setting up for a Labor Day Block Party, and for last few weeks they've been sending me these letters asking me to donate $ 25. And, you know what the $ 25 is for? A moon bounce and a water slide. I'm not gonna use a moon bounce more than once. And you know there's gonna be a line. Check it out. They even found clip art of the water slide. I don't know what the fire trucks doing there. They kinda creeps me up. But look over here, a barbecue, at least my 25 bucks is gonna give me some food right, long potluck. So I'm gonna have to pay for other people's children's amusement and bring my own food. You know what that is people? Socialism. Fine, I'll bring some blondies to your potluck. But in protest, I'm gonna charge for them and here's the kicker. Later on, they're gonna have a parade in memory of the protest of the labor movement. Bunch of socialists. Socialism is the new doomsday buzzword back when I was growing up, I was still about communist movies like Red Dawn and Spies like us. Socialist isn't felt more like the wishy- washy version of communism like they were agnostics. They weren't quite sure. They wanted the worker revolution but they didn't wanna wear those little tight fitting colorless uniforms and the hats. Communists love hats except for King Jong- il but his hair is sort of like a hat. But now it's socialism. Doesn't even seem to matter what the issue is. One side always shows up of the sign it says, " No to Socialism ." And I'm not totally sure they know what it means, even the real socialists don't seem to have a consensus. But I think that the modern definition is something like anything that the government does that doesn't directly benefit me and something about the post office. I don't want the socialism. It'll be like post office. Do you want the post office? And the post office is like, how do we get dragged into this? I tell you why post office. Lines. We don't like waiting in line. That's the best part of the American dream. You get rich, you buy a plane. You don't have to wait in a stupid baggage line. That's why Tommy Lee installed an entire Starbucks franchise into his home, no line. You know how some people have been saying that our healthcare system is number one in the world, well they may not for true for some categories like infant mortality and life expectancy. But we are number one in responsiveness. We don't have to wait. We hate lines so much. We are willing to sacrifice our children and our life stand, take that socialism in your bread lines. But to tell you the truth, there is something that I kinda like about those lines at the post office with DMV, doesn't matter how rich you are or how poor you are or what your background is. We're all annoyed together and no buttsies. But on this Labor Day, on a most socialist of holidays, let celebrate the fact that no matter how bad things get at least we don't have to wait and I'm going to the parade 'cause that's a line that nobody minds. It keeps moving. 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