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They are at time.com/newsletters and are separate from a paid subscription. ## Video: Joel Stein talks to Tony Robbins [Watch (HLS stream): Joel Stein talks to Tony Robbins](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/gCRmrDdk.m3u8) (5:55)  _Published 2010-07-23. Joel Stein gets some tips on how to be a better person from motivational speaker Tony Robbins._ --- Jul 27, 2023 2:23 PM UTC --- ## More From This Series [All Videos](https://time.com/video/) [Tony Robbins This or That MONEY](/video/qISthrEb/) ### Tony Robbins This or That MONEY [Tony Robbins: How to be a better person](/video/pwTCW5Bo/) ### Tony Robbins: How to be a better person [Joel Stein House Video](/video/NygQXgbs/) ### Joel Stein House Video --- ## Transcript >> Hey, I'm Joel Stein for Time. I'm here with Tony Robbins who-- who's already found out a lot about my life that needs some work, to be honest. So basically, I'm gonna simplify-- >> Okay. >> what you told me. But I-- >> I enjoyed your squat-- >> Me too. >> you told me. >> Okay. I told you that I seek status. >> Yes. >> And I do it by judging. >> That's one of the things you do. >> Right. >> But also a great father who cares very deeply about his one- year- old son-- >> This-- >> that wants to be more than enough for him, who is willing to go-- wants to make sure that if he's a man's man, then you know what that means. And so you will go hunch and you'll go climb mountains and you'll go with the marines and you'll share it with your audience both to help them but also-- so you're ready to be a great father. It's the part that I respect deeply about you. >> The part that you'll respect me maybe a little less is that sometimes I write things like maybe this piece I'm about to read about you. >> I do. I can't wait to hear it. >> Yeah. That sometimes-- yeah, that sometimes it's not quite as flattering 'cause I'm-- maybe I'm looking to [ unk ]. >> You are. That is part of your skills, a great gift that you got, that not everybody-- If you ask me like how to be friends with celebrities after we talk of my own [ unk ]-- >> You're so good. You-- I-- Like we can name a hundred incredibly powerful famous people that you're friends with. >> But I'm not looking to be friends with them. I'm looking basically to understand and help them, which makes it easy to be friends and very often looking to find some humor with them. I mean, I always appreciate that. So that's my-- that's my brain surgery want to figure out, right? >> Maybe this is my dream point where I can start-- >> Wow-- >> to understand you, help you. >> Do you? >> Understand you? >> Yes. >> Now, you're crazy. >> That's true. >> Yeah. No. Do I understand you? >> What do you understand about me? >> I-- You're certainly motivated to help people. >> Yeah. >> You're very present. You're like super- present. Like you have no idea how much time is going by right now. >> True. >> You are a lot to cook in. What else to tell you about you-- You seem to love your wife very much. >> Worship her. >> Yeah. >> You're-- You generally wanna connect to people. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What's my skill? >> You-- >> Is it real? Is it a pump up? >> I think it's real. I think you can walk and talk to someone and pretty quickly figure out how to connect to them and like how-- what their problem is. >> Or what their aptitude is. >> Right. Yeah. What's mine-- >> The critic-- The critic finds the problem always. The opportunity probably is to be less judgmental of yourself. >> Not others? Myself? >> Yeah. 'Cause if you were less of that and-- then you can use the same humor and then you could find a way to do it that with just a little less sting. With humor, too many people laugh, but it was it just for your benefit, to make yourself feel like you're better than them at times, to show other people that you're smarter than them. But instead, just 'cause it was fun. >> So-- >> Hey, but that isn't necessarily what you're skilled at yet, so you may go back to the old skills regardless 'cause you know how to do that. >> I've got some money saved up. I mean, I can-- >> All right. >> I can do that. So it-- the trick would be to-- instead of like-- so you're saying that my-- sometimes I use humor to bring you all down a peg so I can feel-- >> You know, that's what's-- >> greater. >> you're doing. >> Yes. Well, you led me to say that. >> Well, I'm not gonna say-- if you don't say [ unk ], you don't believe. And accept that you wanna be funny. >> Wow. Okay. >> Is that true? >> Can I say something I don't believe? >> Yeah. You say something you don't believe, will you go strong about it? You gotta write [ unk ] you don't really believe? >> No. >> No. >> No. >> That's what I thought. >> Yeah. But maybe I can-- you see, we're pointing out fun things that we all can notice. >> Yes, or things that we all do. So I can be humorous too, but I can take the [ unk ], as my [ unk ] friends would say. >> But then you'd insult yourself all day? >> Well, yes. But also I don't have to insult myself. I can just see that well [ unk ] ordinary. >> Right. >> Still own myself. I don't have to lower somebody else for me to be higher. I gotta be-- If you own yourself oftentimes you don't do that so the other way we must [ unk ]. If you weren't so critical, you might just own some of your skills. And all that's a cycle [ unk ] for one simple thing. You do wanna be a better person for your son, more than anything else you can be one from within yourself. That's a beautiful thing. Most of us will do more for people we love than we do for ourselves. That's a bigger driving force for you than changing your career. I mean, you're already doing very well. And as you told me, you're not that hungry in that and that you're doing pretty damn well. You don't need it that well. What matters more to you is your son. That's where you're gonna give even more energy. But you figure a way to use your career to get better for your son and entertain your viewers. That's why you're going on this journey on being a real man even though it's not gonna change you. You're not gonna change your nature. You're not gonna suddenly become a guy who loves to hunt or like somebody who wants to become a [ unk ]. But there are interesting experiences where you can share with people your perspective. Why not? It's fun. >> My son is not helping me be kinder in my humor. He loves the physical-- He's one. But if I didn't like-- If I gotta hurt myself for him, or better yet, someone else, go. >> Slapstick camera's are really based well. >> Yeah. I think let's do that again. Yeah. -[ unk ]. >> But that's a good thing for me to realize that maybe I can get the status I desire or maybe I shouldn't want that. Maybe I should move on to-- >> We all want status. >> Okay. >> The question is, do you value status more than love? >> No. But I did look to the side and think about it, which was not a good sign. >> It's a good sign. You need significance, so do I, so does everybody. It's how you're gonna get it. >> Significance is the word you used, not status. >> Yeah. >> I used status. That was weird. >> Well, that's your rule for significance. >> Yeah. >> Yes. But you can be significant by being significantly generous or significantly funny, which is one of the ways you're truly good. Or significant in your efforts. I mean, you can have significance 'cause you got more earrings than anybody else, you're dressed differently, you know more box scores. You could hit a baseball further. Significance can come in all kinds of forms. You just gotta decide which one serves you. But the truth of the matter is I had a great time with you because-- >> I agree with that. >> underneath it all-- I really do. Underneath it all, there's some driving force inside yourself. You're 39 years old. You got to another stage in your life and you're gonna look at some things differently not just 'cause of your age but because there's something in your life you value more than yourself now, called your son, and that's a beautiful thing. >> Wow. 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