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# Gay Marriage in the Heartland

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<!-- video src="https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/VUW6L6iv.m3u8" -->
## Video: Gay Marriage in the Heartland

[Watch (HLS stream): Gay Marriage in the Heartland](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/VUW6L6iv.m3u8) (5:52)

![Gay Marriage in the Heartland](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/VUW6L6iv/poster.jpg?width=720)

_Published 2008-12-08. On April 3rd, the Iowa Supreme Court overturned the state''s gay marriage ban. Last December, TIME met couples waiting for that decision_


---

Jul 27, 2023 1:04 PM UTC

---

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## Transcript

>> Marriage is hard. It's not something that you can take lightly and there's a lot of responsibility that comes with that.

>> Ingrid Olson is folding her son Jaminson's clothes in their Council Bluffs, Iowa home. She's been in a long- term relationship for more than a decade and wants to marry.

>> You know, we've been together almost 11 years and we're still together. I have classmates that have married in their 20s and divorced in their 20s and their relationships are long over. And it's really important for both of us to show him. It's about our love, but our love is him and so, in the end, it's about him.

>> In Iowa, that hasn't been possible. But this mostly rural state of corn and soybean field with these famous presidential caucuses is the next front in the nation's debate over gay marriage. On December 9th, Iowa Supreme Court is scheduled to hear opening arguments in the case of six gay couples who are seeking the right to marry. Ingrid Olson and Reva Evans are one of those couples.

>> We applied for marriage license in November and we--

>> Of '06?

>> '05. We went to Polk County and asked, and we were turned down, and we asked why we cannot have a marriage license and they said, " Because marriage in the state of Iowa is between one man and one woman ." You can fight for yourselves, but you'll never fight as hard for yourself as you will for your child. I just want to look him in the eye and say, " My family, which is Reva, is just as strong as any other family ."

>> Our baby got married. She's Mrs. I called her the next morning and got her out of the bed, on purpose, and I said, " Hello, Mrs. Hennessy ." And she said, it was sort of like, " What? I think you have the wrong number ." I mean, you know, she forgot-- -[ unk ]

>> She forgot.

>> Mike Yowell and Hersh Rodasky live in a hill overlooking Council Bluffs, less than a mile from Ingrid Olson and Reva Evans. A decade ago, Iowa's Legislature passed the Defense of Marriage Act which essentially defined marriage as between a man and a woman. Then, in November 2005, several gay couples applied for marriage licenses in Polk County which includes Des Moines. They were denied. So, they sued. Fast forward to August 2007, that's when a Polk County judge ordered that gay couples should be allowed to marry. For couples like Yowell and Rodasky the ruling at first presented a chance to legally affirm their relationship.

>> We met at a bar. You know, it's--

>> I asked him to dance with me [ unk ] and I said, "[ unk ] I'm going home ." He followed me out and said, " Hey, where are you going ?"

>> Uh- huh.

>> Yeah.

>> And--

>> So, 27 years later--

>> That's twenty- seven years ago. -[ unk ] So ,--

>> But isn't it a shame way if men will get married? Gosh, we really would like to be able to do that.

>> We like to. I mean, it'd be good for-- you know, for our daughter and our grandson. We've had a lot of experiences. We're not saying it's the experience of every gay person in Iowa, but I mean, we're just-- we're just us, you know. I mean, [ unk ] saying we're a couple. We've been together 27 years, but I mean, people see us together and they see us with our daughter and they see us doing the normal things.

>> But--

>> And marriage--

>> We're just a family. And why would you not want us to be happy?

>> Mary Evans and Stephanie McFarland are with their two daughters at a suburban Des Moines shopping mall. In August 2007, the family joined the throng of gay couples outside the Polk County Recorder's Office to apply for a marriage license. Four hours later, they learned the hard truth. The judge ordered that the issuance of marriage licenses to gay couples be halted until the state Supreme Court consider the issue. Twenty- seven gay couples applied for marriage licenses that day. Only one couple completed the process. Now, they're closely watching the December 9th case. The recent move by California voters to allow only marriages between a man and a woman is also raising the angst of many Iowa gay couples.

>> We already have a marriage. That's not a question. We are [ unk ] marriage. We have kids. We have car. We live in suburbs, minivan. I mean, we have all those things. We have two well- adjusted kids that we love and-- you know. We have those things. We pay our taxes. Why can't we have what everybody else has?

>> The girls' adoption and our mortgage are probably the only things that tie us together legally. Being able to be legally married to each other protects our family. When presented with an opportunity to make a real difference in people's lives, Iowans usually are very hesitant to remove people's rights and I think that's how this is gonna come out again.

>> And our only job, it's not to be gay, it's to be good parents and good to each other.

>> Iowans are clear that they overwhelmingly support one- man, one- woman marriage.

>> Chuck Hurley, president of the Iowa Family Policy Center is among the leading opponents of gay marriage.

>> Well, there's some unsettledness about this, even being in the courts or being in the news. You know, why overturn something that's worked and everybody's comfortable at when it's settled.

>> Ultimately, his group wants to take the matter before Iowa voters. But for Ingrid Olson and Reva Evans, the matter is far from settled. They anxiously await the court's ruling, but are making no predictions.

>> If you believe in something and you know something is right, you have to fight for it. And there's nothing fair about the situation. And so, it's really about us making it fair for him.

>> For TIME. com, this is Steven Gray, Des Moines, Iowa.

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