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* World

# Activist Emi Mahmoud Performs a Poem for Sudan

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<!-- video src="https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/QkwZCA11.m3u8" -->
## Video: Activist Emi Mahmoud Performs a Poem for Sudan

[Watch (HLS stream): Activist Emi Mahmoud Performs a Poem for Sudan](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/QkwZCA11.m3u8) (2:25)

![Activist Emi Mahmoud Performs a Poem for Sudan](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/QkwZCA11/poster.jpg?width=720)

_Published 2025-10-31_


---

Oct 31, 2025 5:52 PM UTC

---

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---


## Transcript

Memories of my childhood live between the rings of sand around my ankles and the desert heat in my lungs. I still believe that nothing washes worry from tired skin better than denial and my grandma's hands. Every day I go to school with the weight of dead neighbors on my shoulders. The first time I saw bomb smoke, it didn't wind and billow like the heat from the kitchen hearth, but it forced itself on the Darfur sky, smothering the sun with tears that it stole from our bodies. The worst thing about genocide isn't the hunger, the murder, the politics. The government paid soldiers to chase you across borders and into camps.

It's the silence. For three months they closed the schools down because people like us are an eyesore. So the first month we took it, the second we waited, the third month we met underneath the date palm trees, drinking up every second our teachers gave us, turning fruit pits into fractions. On the last day, they came with a message. Put them in their place. We didn't stand a chance. Flesh was never meant to dance with several bullets. So we prayed for the sun to come and melt daggers from our backs. I hid underneath the bed that day with four other people. 12 years later, and I can't help but wonder where my cousins hid when the soldiers torched the houses, through the bodies and the wells.

So the weapons didn't get you. The poison would. And sometimes they didn't want to use bullets because it would cost them more than we did. What does it matter? I've seen 16 ways to stop a heart. When you build nations on someone's bones, what sense does it make to break them in one day? My mother choked on rifle smoke. My father washed the blood from his face. My uncles carried half the bodies to the hospital and the rest to the grave. And we watched for every funeral we planned. There were 60. We couldn't have. The sand in the Sahara tastes a lot like powdered bone. And when the soldiers came, our blood on their ankles, I remember their laces, scarlet footprints on the floor.

I remember waking to the sound of hushed voices in the night, etched with the kind of sorrow that turns even the loudest dreams to ash. Our parents came home with broken collarbones and a taste of fear carved into their skin. And it was impossible to believe in anything. Fear is the coldest thing in the desert, and it burns you, bows you down to half your height, and owns you, and no one hears you. Because what could grow in the desert anyway? Thank you.

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