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# Golden Globes 2015: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Opening Monologue

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## Video: Golden Globes 2015: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Opening Monologue

[Watch (HLS stream): Golden Globes 2015: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Opening Monologue](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/PHobSvu2.m3u8) (1:12)

![Golden Globes 2015: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Opening Monologue](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/PHobSvu2/poster.jpg?width=720)

_Published 2015-01-12. Golden Globes 2015: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Opening Monologue_


---

Jul 27, 2023 5:44 PM UTC

---

## More From This Series

[All Videos](https://time.com/video/)

[2015 Golden Globes: Fey, Poehler Slam Bill Cosby In Monologue — See The Top Moments](/video/lSoC8bFA/)

### 2015 Golden Globes: Fey, Poehler Slam Bill Cosby In Monologue — See The Top Moments

[Golden Globes 2015: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Joke About Bill Cosby](/video/HCbcdLm1/)

### Golden Globes 2015: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Joke About Bill Cosby

[Golden Globes 2015 - Tina Fey & Amy Poehler Are Back\! \(Promo\)](/video/YhB8oKSo/)

### Golden Globes 2015 - Tina Fey & Amy Poehler Are Back! (Promo)

---


## Transcript

We are so happy to be here hosting the 72nd and final Golden Globe Awards. [ LAUGH ] You got it. Tonight we celebrate all the great television shows that we know and love, as well as all the movies that North Korea was okay with. [ LAUGH ] The that's right, the biggest story in Hollywood this year was when North Korea threatened an attack. If Sony Pictures released The Interview, forcing us all to pretend we wanted to see it. [ LAUGH ] North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable, and a wonton act of terror. Even more amazing, not the worst review the movie got. [ LAUGH ] So who's here tonight, Tina?

So many great stars. Oh, so many great stars. Oprah is here. [ APPLAUSE ] Yes. She has put, she has put a cranberry candle under all of your seats. [ LAUGH ] Reese Witherspoon is here, she's so great in the movie Wild. [ APPLAUSE ] Yes. She did all of her own walking, so great. [ LAUGH ] And, and Andy Circus was great as your backpack. [ LAUGH ] JK Simmons is here, or as Matthew McConaughey calls him, Just Keep Simmons. [ LAUGH ]. [ APPLAUSE ] Kristof Bolts and Amy Adams are here. They were so great in Big Eyes. Oh, in fact, yes they were, and in fact, one of those famous big eye paintings is on display tonight.

Oh. Let's check it out. Oh. [ LAUGH ] So lifelike. Yeah. It's like, it's cute, but it's creepy. Yeah, the eyes do follow you. Yeah. Patricia Arquette is here. So wonderful. [ APPLAUSE ] So, so wonderful in the film Boyhood. Boyhood proves that there are still great roles for women over 40, as long as you get hired when you're under 40. [ LAUGH ]. [ LAUGH ] Joaquin Phoenix is nominated for Inherent Vice, but obviously he isn't there tonight because he has said publicly that award shows are quote total and utter bullsh, oh hey Joaquin, there he is. [ LAUGH ] [ APPLAUSE ]. [ APPLAUSE ] Steve Carell is here tonight for Fox Catcher.

[ APPLAUSE ] In Fox Catcher Steve Carell plays a paranoid murderous billionaire. And the role was a stretch for Carell when real life. Is a paranoid, murderous millionaire. Yes. [ LAUGH ] Steve Carell's fox- catcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and make- up. Just for comparison it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as human woman. [ LAUGH ] Frances McDormand is here, for all of his. [ APPLAUSE ] Frances, can I just say, I love you. You are the only person in this room that I would save in a fire. [ LAUGH ]. Julia Louis Dreyfuss is here because she's obsessed with me.

[ APPLAUSE ] Okay? We're not friends. [ LAUGH ] We're not friends. Jennifer Aniston is here tonight, nominated for the film Cake. [ APPLAUSE ]. And we should explain all the people in the room, the Hollywood people. Cake is like a it's like a fluffy dessert. RIght. That people eat on their birthdays. Oh, and birthdays are like a thing people celebrate when they admit that they have aged. You know what else is weird? So many British actors played Americans this year. Yes. And I, for one, don't mind it. I love the sound of a British actor doing an American accent. I like when they talk like this.

[ LAUGH ] I can't tell that they're British when they're speaking in our movie parts. [ LAUGH ] Wes Anderson is here tonight for the film Grand Budapest Hotel. [ APPLAUSE ]. [ APPLAUSE ] Per usual, Wes rides on a bicycle made of antique tuba parts. [ LAUGH ]. [ LAUGH ] George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria and was selected for a three person UN commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award. [ LAUGH ] Hollywood, Hollywood.

Of course, George Clooney is here to receive the prestigious Cecil B. de Mille Lifetime Achievement Award. Or is he? I don't know, you've been pranking a lot of people for 25 years. [ LAUGH ] Who knows, maybe you're about to get Cecil B d'burnt. [ LAUGH ] Anyway. [ LAUGH ] Since this is the last time that we are hosting. Yes. Tina and I wanted to very quickly play one of our favorite games. Yes. And Amy and I have been friends for almost 50 years. And. The secret of our long- lasting friendship is that we have absolutely no overlap in our taste in men. No we never think the same man is attractive.

And we'll prove it right now, by doing what you're all doing at home, playing a game of " Who would you rather ?" Yeah. So real quick Real quick, okay. So, would you rather. Colin Farrell or Colin Firth? Okay. Ferrel all day. Firth for a polite amount of time. [ APPLAUSE ] Okay. Tina next Ed Norton or Mark Ruffalo? Ooh, which one was the Hulk? Both of them. Shoot. Okay. I'll take Norton because he's like method and he could act like he was into it. Okay. And I'll take Mark because everybody knows I like it Rough- a- low. Okay. Let's see, okay. Chris Pine or. Chris Pine. I'm sorry was that too loud?

Was that too loud? Okay. Moving on. Okay. Richard Linkletter or Alejandro. I'm gonna say Inarritu, one take, two hours straight, no stopping. No, see, Linklater, five minutes, once a year. [ APPLAUSE ] We just never agree. [ CROSSTALK ] We never agree. We never agree. But. But you know what? Let's talk about these great movies. Yes, The Theory of Everything, wonderful movie this year. [ APPLAUSE ] Yes. [ APPLAUSE ] It combines the two things that audiences love: a crippling nerve disease and super complicated math! [ LAUGH ] " Selma ". In the 1960s, thousands of black people from all over America came together with one common goal: to form Sly and the Family Stone.

[ LAUGH ] But the movie " Selma" is about the American Civil Rights movement that totally worked, and now everything's fine. [ APPLAUSE ] Gone Girl was a real big hit this year. Yeah. Gone Girl. I don't, ya know. I don't Tina. I didn't like Gone Girl. What? I go to the movies to escape. I don't wanna just see myself up there on the screen. You know, Tyler Perry was so good in Gone Girl that he has actually been asked to write and direct a sequel called Girl, I Thought You Were Gone. [ LAUGH ] Into the Woods, starring Meryl Streep. [ APPLAUSE ]. [ APPLAUSE ] Meryl, Meryl plays a witch who sends the townspeople on a magical quest to collect the items she needs to win another Golden Globe.

Any of you have you ever done any Sondheim? No I haven't, but I could. Anybody can. Into the woods. It's a weird word to sing. I'm not gonna lie to you. In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince. Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince. And Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby. You know, actually. I don't know if, I don't know if you guys saw this on the news today but Bill Cosby has finally spoken out about the allegations against him, Cosby admitted to a reporter, I put the pills in the people. The people did not want the pills in them No Tina that hey.

[ INAUDIBLE ] [ LAUGH ] That's not right. That's not right. It's more like I got the pills in the bathroom when I put' em in the people. [ LAUGH ] You're right it's gotta be like I put the pills in the hoagie! [ LAUGH ] Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's it. That's fair. That seems fair. But finally Tina. [ LAUGH ] Let's talk about television. Oh, I'm, I'm being told that we are running out of time. [ LAUGH ] Our apologies, television. You've got bumped. So sorry. Come back tomorrow. Okay, so let's started. Are you guys ready to have some fun tonight? [ APPLAUSE ] Okay. [ APPLAUSE ] When we say movies, you say awesome.

Movies! Awesome! Movies! Awesome! When we say TV you say better. TV! Better! TV! Better! All right, who wants to present the first award? All right who ever raises their hand gets to present with Jennifer Anniston. Who wants it? Hey! Yes, yes, Cumberbatch. Come on over here! Cumberbatch. [ APPLAUSE ] Here we go, Cumberbatch. [ INAUDIBLE ]

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