--- title: What Your Boys Aren't Telling You | TIME description: Rosiland Wiseman talks with three book contributors about the issues teen boys face every day. canonical: https://time.com/video/7mqwsqXO/ og:title: What Your Boys Aren't Telling You og:description: Rosiland Wiseman talks with three book contributors about the issues teen boys face every day. og:url: https://time.com/video/7mqwsqXO/ og:image: https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/7mqwsqXO/poster.jpg?width=720 og:type: video.other twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: What Your Boys Aren't Telling You twitter:description: Rosiland Wiseman talks with three book contributors about the issues teen boys face every day. twitter:image: https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/7mqwsqXO/poster.jpg?width=720 --- # What Your Boys Aren't Telling You > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. 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They are at time.com/newsletters and are separate from a paid subscription. ## Video: What Your Boys Aren't Telling You [Watch (HLS stream): What Your Boys Aren't Telling You](https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/7mqwsqXO.m3u8) (3:37)  _Published 2013-11-19. Rosiland Wiseman talks with three book contributors about the issues teen boys face every day._ --- Jul 27, 2023 3:57 PM UTC --- ## More From This Series [All Videos](https://time.com/video/) [5 Presents That Aren’t Flowers for Your Valentine](/video/da7pEBQP/) ### 5 Presents That Aren’t Flowers for Your Valentine [Oklahoma Senator Ralph Shortey Facing Prostitution Charges Involving a Teen Boy](/video/isW5nVgB/) ### Oklahoma Senator Ralph Shortey Facing Prostitution Charges Involving a Teen Boy [Kids Aren't Alright](/video/VkFxE2KI/) ### Kids Aren't Alright --- ## Transcript Hi how are you guys? Rosalind Wiseman is widely known for her non- fiction book, Queen Bees and Wannabes, which was the basis for the movie Mean Girls. Now she's attempting to change the perception of boys with her new book, Masterminds and Wing men. To better understand them, Wiseman is working with hundreds of teen students across the country. And recently, she reunited with three of these boys who were instrumental in helping her create this book. If, if you believe this, dispel the notion that like, guys like you can get their hearts broken and it bothers you. I was dating this girl for a few months and then I found out she cheated on me with two people and then, I blame myself. If I had been better, if I hadn't done this. What is so important to me, that I want adults to realize is, is that boys have deep connections with people. They want meaningful relationships, they fall in love. And when betrayals happen, and they do, or when breakups happen. They are in deep amounts of pain. They often don't share that with other people, but it doesn't mean that, that doesn't exist. I broke up with my girlfriend in the middle of football season in, in college jobs. And the worst part is, I couldn't really talk to any of my athlete friends about it. So I, the only friend I could talk to, is someone who wasn't an athlete. Why? My, groups of friends like, we don't talk about girls like [ CROSSTALK ]. You don't talk about your relationships. I wouldn't talk about relationships. Relationships with girls. It's like a five minute discussion, who did you hook up with? You're done, that's it. But if I actually wanna have a meaningful discussion, how I feel, I have to put on, kinda put up a little wall there. I have to kinda go to the friends that, it won't matter if I talk to them about it. The friend who's not an athlete, who's not like the top tier of people at this school, like who could actually, you know, listen. What I'm hearing in these interviews, are boys really breaking so many of the stereotypes that we have about boys. They're so much more complex. They have rich emotional lives. And if we can sit down, and really listen to them, they will tell us. I mean, look back on your high school years. Are there things that you did, or participated in, or you didn't speak out about, that you regret? The seniors, when I was a freshman, were some of the worst seniors that our school has ever had. They told all the freshman that, that in order to leave the locker room, they had to get like whipped. With what? A belt or something. It's just something stupid or like, I don't even know, like a rope or something. And then, like I don't, if you speak up, you're gonna get beat more. But maybe your beating will entail less beating than everybody else. Roseline is someone I looked up to. If I had an issue, I would come to her and be like, oh. I don't know how to deal with this situation, and then she would help me out. You know, it was very, very weird talking to Roseline at first, because I treated her like a parent. I kinda had to filter what I had to say. But then I became comfortable, like she was just like a sister, someone like that. So I was really able to sort of tell her more things that I wouldn't be able to tell any other adult person. Adults don't think, that boys and girls can be friends. Like strong, strong friendships. Yeah, when I, when I broke up with my girlfriend, I went to dinner with one of my really good girlfriends to talk about it. And the first thing my mom says like, well you just broke up with your girlfriend. Like two days ago. I was like are you serious? Like really. You can have a completely platonic relationship with a very attractive girl. It's like in, in, there'd be nothing there. So, it's one of those experiences of examples of boys being pushed into a stereotype of like all they care about is sex? I think for other boys, this is gonna be really interesting because they get to see a new side of things, that they may have not knew existed. Or they could finally relate to something that they didn't know like, wow I was, I'm not the only one feeling this. And but to realize that all these different kids came together. Because they believe that this is an important thing to do. You know, you might not agree with what I say in this book, but listen to what they're saying. ```json {"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"What Your Boys Aren't Telling You","description":"Rosiland Wiseman talks with three book contributors about the issues teen boys face every day.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/7mqwsqXO/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2013-11-19T21:08:52.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/7mqwsqXO.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/video/7mqwsqXO/","duration":"PT3M37S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/video/7mqwsqXO/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}} ```