--- title: The ‘Healthy Heat’ Your Team Needs to Thrive description: Breaking news and analysis from time.com. Politics, world news, photos, video, tech reviews, health, science, and entertainment news. canonical: https://time.com/partner-content/charter/the-healthy-heat-your-team-needs-to-thrive/ author: Michelle Peng article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2026-09-08T10:30:00.371Z article:modified_time: 2026-09-04T18:43:17.095Z article:section: Charter og:title: The ‘Healthy Heat’ Your Team Needs to Thrive og:description: Breaking news and analysis from time.com. 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They are at time.com/newsletters and are separate from a paid subscription.  by [Michelle Peng](https://time.com/author/michelle-peng/) Sep 8, 2026 10:30 AM UTC  Art: Charter  by [Michelle Peng](https://time.com/author/michelle-peng/) Sep 8, 2026 10:30 AM UTC Many workplaces today are pressure cookers. Amid the backdrop of a contentious midterm election, anxiety over AI adoption, and increasing strain to maintain high performance, even small conflicts over lunches in the office fridge can ignite built-up tensions. “We are terrible at fighting,” says Parker, a facilitator and author of [_The Art of Gathering_](https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-art-of-gathering-how-we-meet-and-why-it-matters-priya-parker/6cf339d7407925e3?ean=9781594634932&bkshp-astro=t)_._ In her latest book, [_The Art of Fighting_](https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=L&pf=1&ai=DChsSEwia-vXFvcGWAxWfC0QIHaQFPAsYACICCAEQABoCZHo&co=1&ase=2&gclid=CjwKCAjwwL%5FUBhAjEiwAEhuT5GTkLf26RkIyhD-5Xo7Go03Lqu%5F2q9Fi5NQVoTfO%5FzkwJA0MHWgVqRoCcH4QAvD%5FBwE&cid=CAAS0wHkaBUQeeDQBLliu9rlYUd6YQJyU2R9CUMWn2SQxFuaIOYNdegLImeo%5FD5-SHpe9KEUH8qx3bvCwuAtRW8saAy9wEnzzYqJyLY1U9PazOs-AUzJYTah36JiBL5dfGLMPdLeJwIiMCGkyOyfm2LcIWFhPm2tJuut6SOxHda979C3xb7P2Icfkt2RjsskBXfo90CUCPgB6An8w1vQEvkxoRIHghDSI9lf9ix5lzJI9N8gvrHFZNvQxkOsuWdSBHGVneVOUg%5FMDeBeE0DOxAjXG33g0Htq&cce=2&category=acrcp%5Fv1%5F32&sig=AOD64%5F0QLh2IADtNahWO7zccxfbnnz0rOQ&q&nis=4&adurl=https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-art-of-fighting-the-transformative-power-of-conflict-priya-n-parker/4a99cb4fb9ddf088?ean%3D9780593420225%26bkshp-astro%3Dt%26utm%5Fsource%3Dgoogle%26utm%5Fmedium%3Dcpc%26utm%5Fcampaign%3Ddsa%5Fnonbrand%26utm%5Fcontent%3D%7Badgroupname%7D%26utm%5Fterm%3Daud-1721779758375:dsa-19959388920%26gad%5Fsource%3D1%26gad%5Fcampaignid%3D12440232635%26gbraid%3D0AAAAACfld43QMLMqc-DczMH354GIIkcOH%26gclid%3DCjwKCAjwwL%5FUBhAjEiwAEhuT5GTkLf26RkIyhD-5Xo7Go03Lqu%5F2q9Fi5NQVoTfO%5FzkwJA0MHWgVqRoCcH4QAvD%5FBwE&ved=2ahUKEwibnvDFvcGWAxXkKkQIHb6vHjUQ0Qx6BAgWEAE)_,_ Parker offers a guide to handling group conflicts in a better way, with examples from workplaces, families, and community groups. When conflict arises at work, we typically respond in one of two ways: “Either we escalate and burn the house down and rage quit, or we ignore the conflict completely and avoid having the often tough but important conversations.” Parker labels these two extremes “unhealthy conflict” and “unhealthy peace.” The alternative, she says, is to learn how to “hold healthy heat,” a skill that helps teams become more resilient, collaborative, and high-performing. Meanwhile, as AI threatens to [make work more atomized and lonely](https://www.fastcompany.com/91557241/ai-is-making-work-better-it-may-also-be-making-people-even-lonelier-ai-work-mental-health-loneliness), Parker argues that artful fighting is an increasingly important skill for the AI age because it teaches us how to connect, repair, and “protect what’s human,” she says. We spoke with Parker to learn more about the right way to approach conflict in the workplace. Here are excerpts from our conversation, edited for length and clarity: Sign up for Charter's newsletter to get the handbook for the future of work delivered to your inbox. Email Address You can unsubscribe at any time. By signing up you are agreeing to our [Terms of Service](https://www.charterworks.com/terms-of-service/) and [Privacy Policy](https://www.charterworks.com/privacy-policy/). **What does it look like in practice for an organization to embrace ‘healthy heat?’** One of the workplaces I looked at is Canlis, a family-owned fine-dining restaurant. Mark and Brian Canlis found that if there aren’t regular release valves, the workplace becomes more and more tense and small things can grow into big things. To be a place of healthy heat, they schedule regular play, with monthly laser tag games \[in the restaurant\]. Games have competition built in, so they help Canlis become a pro-conflict place, where people \[don’t shy away from tension\]. In the book, I call that adding warmth to heat. Second, they have an entire section on conflict in their employee handbook. It says, ‘Assume the best in others and look for their true north,’ \[and\], ‘We've got to figure out how not to hold things in. We've got to figure out how not to let things fester.’ They have two places in the restaurant that are designed for employees to go and have a one-on-one with another staff member to say the thing or address the conflict as soon as possible so that it doesn't grow. **What can leaders do to promote more healthy conflict in remote or dispersed workplaces?** Conflict-competent managers start by creating a culture of healthy heat. Even if you have different practices with your friends or family, here you create a cultural norm for the team of healthy heat. Second, practice. You can absolutely do this virtually. A manager I know hosted a virtual ‘hot-takes party.’ She had every team member come with a two-minute PowerPoint presentation of a low-stakes, strongly held opinion. It was things like, ‘Thursday is the best day of the week,’ or, ‘There should only be one type of pasta,’ or, ‘AirPods stink.’ Instinctively, almost everyone else gasps and either \[enthusiastically\] agrees or completely disagrees. They start talking about it. It gets teams comfortable with disagreeing with each other, and that low-stakes arguing is good preparation for higher-stakes arguing. **When an actual group conflict does arise, how does the artful fighter approach it?** The first step is to assess what type of fight you’re in. Does it reflect who we are as a corporation or who are we as a firm? One of the things to listen for is the phrase, ‘We’re not a…’ For example, ‘We’re not a corporation. We’re a partnership,’ or ‘We’re not a tech company. We’re actually a media company.’ If you hear that clause, pay attention. Then ask, ‘Is this worth facing, \[or directly addressing the conflict\]?’ Not all conflicts are. Some of them are actually inappropriate for the workplace. Some of them aren't the highest need. Some of them are revelatory of a truth that isn't going to be altered. Then, develop what I call your fight plan. Start by asking, ‘What is the actual need?’ I was working with an organization that experienced a reckoning in 2020\. The leaders said to me, ‘We need to have a Zoom.’ A Zoom is not a need. It's a \[format\]. I sounded like a toddler: ‘But why? Why? What is the need?’ Finally, they said, ‘It feels like our ship is sinking, and what we most need is some sensemaking.’ I said, ‘Aha, that's an addressable need.’ **What steps should leaders take in the aftermath?** Even when it goes well, there's what Brené Brown calls a ‘vulnerability hangover.’ For two or three days after, there’s almost always a period of like, ‘Should we have done that? Was that too much?’ You need to prepare for the aftermath. You need to help the group make meaning. The groups that make it through change are the ones that treat it as if it was an architectural renovation. Instead of judging it or being full of shame, first ask, ‘Well, what is precious here? What do we keep? Maybe we’re going to keep the beautiful marble tiles that are 100 years old, but does the kitchen need to be there? Maybe not.’ Then ask, ‘What do you stop?’ And then, ‘What do you change?’ The second part is repair. You can build a new house, but if people don't want to cook in the same kitchen, it's not going to work. It takes group intelligence and it takes mapping. Are there conversations that need to happen between two people? What is the support they might need? Sometimes you also need to tend to the mundane. Give people simultaneous experiences that are part of daily work that are \[unrelated to the recent\] conflict. That might be clearing out the warehouse or making sure the windows are clean. It's almost like in physical therapy: you don't necessarily go straight for the wound. You strengthen the muscles around it. **Read our** [**Q&A with Parker**](https://www.charterworks.com/priya-parker-art-of-gathering-return-to-workplace/) **on** **_The Art of Gathering_** **and watch a** [**recording of her**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvXGF7vLvh0) **fireside chat at the 2023 Charter Workplace Summit.** **Order** **_The Art of Fighting_** **on** [**Amazon**](https://www.amazon.com/Art-Fighting-Transformative-Power-Conflict/dp/0593420225) **or** [**Bookshop**](https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=L&pf=1&ai=DChsSEwia-vXFvcGWAxWfC0QIHaQFPAsYACICCAEQABoCZHo&co=1&ase=2&gclid=CjwKCAjwwL%5FUBhAjEiwAEhuT5GTkLf26RkIyhD-5Xo7Go03Lqu%5F2q9Fi5NQVoTfO%5FzkwJA0MHWgVqRoCcH4QAvD%5FBwE&cid=CAAS0wHkaBUQeeDQBLliu9rlYUd6YQJyU2R9CUMWn2SQxFuaIOYNdegLImeo%5FD5-SHpe9KEUH8qx3bvCwuAtRW8saAy9wEnzzYqJyLY1U9PazOs-AUzJYTah36JiBL5dfGLMPdLeJwIiMCGkyOyfm2LcIWFhPm2tJuut6SOxHda979C3xb7P2Icfkt2RjsskBXfo90CUCPgB6An8w1vQEvkxoRIHghDSI9lf9ix5lzJI9N8gvrHFZNvQxkOsuWdSBHGVneVOUg%5FMDeBeE0DOxAjXG33g0Htq&cce=2&category=acrcp%5Fv1%5F32&sig=AOD64%5F0QLh2IADtNahWO7zccxfbnnz0rOQ&q&nis=4&adurl=https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-art-of-fighting-the-transformative-power-of-conflict-priya-n-parker/4a99cb4fb9ddf088?ean%3D9780593420225%26bkshp-astro%3Dt%26utm%5Fsource%3Dgoogle%26utm%5Fmedium%3Dcpc%26utm%5Fcampaign%3Ddsa%5Fnonbrand%26utm%5Fcontent%3D%7Badgroupname%7D%26utm%5Fterm%3Daud-1721779758375:dsa-19959388920%26gad%5Fsource%3D1%26gad%5Fcampaignid%3D12440232635%26gbraid%3D0AAAAACfld43QMLMqc-DczMH354GIIkcOH%26gclid%3DCjwKCAjwwL%5FUBhAjEiwAEhuT5GTkLf26RkIyhD-5Xo7Go03Lqu%5F2q9Fi5NQVoTfO%5FzkwJA0MHWgVqRoCcH4QAvD%5FBwE&ved=2ahUKEwibnvDFvcGWAxXkKkQIHb6vHjUQ0Qx6BAgWEAE)**.** ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/partner-content/charter/the-healthy-heat-your-team-needs-to-thrive/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/partner-content/charter/the-healthy-heat-your-team-needs-to-thrive/"},"headline":"The ‘Healthy Heat’ Your Team Needs to Thrive","datePublished":"2026-09-08T10:30:00.371Z","dateModified":"2026-09-04T18:43:17.095Z","description":"Priya Parker shares lessons from 'The Art of Fighting.'","url":"https://time.com/partner-content/charter/the-healthy-heat-your-team-needs-to-thrive/","keywords":[],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt493496edd1010110/6a9b111b643c9e0892a5c751/charter-parker.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Michelle Peng","jobTitle":"","url":"https://time.com/author/michelle-peng/"}],"articleSection":"Charter","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt493496edd1010110/6a9b111b643c9e0892a5c751/charter-parker.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"charter-parker.jpg","caption":"","creditText":"Art: Charter","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/partner-content/charter/the-healthy-heat-your-team-needs-to-thrive/","name":"The ‘Healthy Heat’ Your Team Needs to Thrive"}}]}] ```