--- description: We crave something beyond biology title: Pastor Andy Stanley: Monogamy Is Endangered image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt84ee723e6eb39ff8/698862f7a988ca72856b444b/question-everything-monogramy-pastor-andy-stanley.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 --- Sep 11, 2015 # We Crave Something Beyond Biology by Andy Stanley  NEW YORK, NY - JULY 10: Actor Haley Joel Osment discusses his new series "The Spoils Before Dying" at AOL Studios In New York on July 10, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Adela Loconte/WireImage) NEW YORK, NY - JULY 10: Actor Haley Joel Osment discusses his new series "The Spoils Before Dying" at AOL Studios In New York on July 10, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Adela Loconte/WireImage)Getty Images; Photo Illustration by Mia Tramz for TIME Cassette tapes are obsolete. Monogamy is more like an endangered species. Rare. Valuable. Something to be fed and protected. Perhaps an armed guard should be assigned to every monogamous couple to ward off poachers. Perhaps not. The value a culture places on monogamy determines the welfare of its women and children. Women and children do not fare well in societies that embrace polygamy or promiscuity. In the majority of cases, sexual freedom undermines the financial freedom of women. Sexual freedom eventually undermines the financial and emotional security of children. If we are only biology, none of the above really matters. All’s well that ends with the survival of the species. If we are only biology, monogamy was probably a flawed concept from the start. But very few of us live as if we are only biology. I’m not sure it’s possible. We constantly refer to “our bodies”—an acknowledgement that we are more than “bodies.” Apparently, there is an “I” in there somewhere, an “I” that desires more than another body with which to ensure the survival of the species. As a pastor, I’ve officiated my share of weddings and I’ve done my share of premarital counseling. I always ask couples why they are getting married. Survival of the species never makes the list. The “I” and “You” that inhabit our bodies desire more than another body. We desire intimacy—to know and to be fully known without fear. Intimacy is fragile. Intimacy is powerful. Intimacy is fueled by exclusivity. So, no, monogamy is not obsolete. It’s endangered. But so was the buffalo. Perhaps we happily monogamous couples should relocate to Yellowstone. _Stanley is a pastor and the author of_ The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"Article","@id":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028300/andy-stanley-is-monogamy-over/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028300/andy-stanley-is-monogamy-over/"},"headline":"Pastor Andy Stanley: Monogamy Is Endangered","datePublished":"2015-09-11T17:05:36.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-02T23:08:35.644Z","description":"We crave something beyond biology","url":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028300/andy-stanley-is-monogamy-over/","keywords":["Question Everything"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt84ee723e6eb39ff8/698862f7a988ca72856b444b/question-everything-monogramy-pastor-andy-stanley.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"TIME Staff","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/time-staff/"}],"creator":"TIME Staff","articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt84ee723e6eb39ff8/698862f7a988ca72856b444b/question-everything-monogramy-pastor-andy-stanley.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028300/andy-stanley-is-monogamy-over/","name":"Pastor Andy Stanley: Monogamy Is Endangered"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Question Everything: Is Monogamy Obsolete?","description":"TIME hit the streets to ask New Yorkers several offbeat questions designed to provoke and prod the brain.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/wkRFSgkR/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2015-09-18T14:45:46.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/wkRFSgkR.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028300/andy-stanley-is-monogamy-over/","duration":"PT1M5S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028300/andy-stanley-is-monogamy-over/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```