--- description: The normalization of same-sex relationships may change how we view monogamy title: John Cameron Mitchell: Hook-Up Culture and Monogamy image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbfc43f9dd9862597/698862f33c16394f3c459a6e/question-everything-john-cameron-mitchell.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 --- Sep 11, 2015 # Hook-Up Culture Allows Exploration by John Cameron Mitchell  NEW YORK, NY - JULY 10: Actor Haley Joel Osment discusses his new series "The Spoils Before Dying" at AOL Studios In New York on July 10, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Adela Loconte/WireImage) NEW YORK, NY - JULY 10: Actor Haley Joel Osment discusses his new series "The Spoils Before Dying" at AOL Studios In New York on July 10, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Adela Loconte/WireImage)Getty Images; Photo Illustration by Mia Tramz for TIME We need to stop assuming that the default relationship is monogamy and that happiness will ensue. I’m interested to see what happens now that same-sex relationships are normalizing. It could affect straight relationship in a positive way. In the typical relationship between a man and a woman, there’s a tendency to fall into gender roles. People do what has been done before—it’s just easier. Monogamy is expected. In same-sex relationships, you tend to see more risk-taking. People have had to invent their own rules—they didn’t have the luxury to be lazy about defining their expectations. Some long-term gay relationships have found openness at one time or another. There’s an understanding that sex changes over time. Sometimes it goes away—it becomes too hard, too boring—and that’s when affairs happen. When society says that that is wrong, it causes people to lie. And that’s worse than the sexual act itself. The best relationships are those that have trust and openness. The hook-up culture actually allows for this exploration—sometimes in healthy ways and sometimes in unhealthy ways. It makes people say: “This is what I’m into—What are you into?” The healthiest view is: What are _we_ into? I hope more couples say to each other: Let’s not just settle in—let’s see what we want as partners. _Mitchell is an actor, writer and director known for_ Hedwig and the Angry Inch ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"Article","@id":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028150/john-cameron-mitchell-is-monogamy-over/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028150/john-cameron-mitchell-is-monogamy-over/"},"headline":"John Cameron Mitchell: Hook-Up Culture and Monogamy","datePublished":"2015-09-11T16:53:13.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-02T23:08:33.689Z","description":"The normalization of same-sex relationships may change how we view monogamy","url":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028150/john-cameron-mitchell-is-monogamy-over/","keywords":["Question Everything"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbfc43f9dd9862597/698862f33c16394f3c459a6e/question-everything-john-cameron-mitchell.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"TIME Staff","jobTitle":null,"url":"https://time.com/author/time-staff/"}],"creator":"TIME Staff","articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltbfc43f9dd9862597/698862f33c16394f3c459a6e/question-everything-john-cameron-mitchell.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028150/john-cameron-mitchell-is-monogamy-over/","name":"John Cameron Mitchell: Hook-Up Culture and Monogamy"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"Question Everything: Is Monogamy Obsolete?","description":"TIME hit the streets to ask New Yorkers several offbeat questions designed to provoke and prod the brain.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/wkRFSgkR/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2015-09-18T14:45:46.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/wkRFSgkR.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028150/john-cameron-mitchell-is-monogamy-over/","duration":"PT1M5S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/collections/question-everything/4028150/john-cameron-mitchell-is-monogamy-over/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```