--- description: Sheryl Lee Ralph and Mel Robbins, both TIME Women of the Year honorees, sat down for a conversation at the TIME 2026 Woman of the Year Forum in Los Angeles. title: Sheryl Lee Ralph and Mel Robbins Talk Self-Belief and the Patriarchy image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt93d6945d6e9e3581/69b06fd1c082a58d72dee99f/2265816860.jpg?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 --- Mar 10, 2026 # Sheryl Lee Ralph and Mel Robbins Talk Self-Belief and the Patriarchy by [Rebecca Schneid](/author/rebecca-schneid/) ## Rebecca Schneid Update your preferences in [Account Settings](/account/preferences/) Close Reporter Actress [Sheryl Lee Ralph](https://time.com/collections/women-of-the-year/7377890/sheryl-lee-ralph/ "undefined") has a sign in her bedroom that reads, “Underestimate me, that will be interesting.” It’s that kind of self-motivation that has helped her find success as a Black female actress and advocate for herself in a Hollywood world that she was told wasn’t looking for women like her, she told podcaster [Mel Robbins](https://time.com/collections/women-of-the-year/7377907/mel-robbins-interview/ "undefined") in a conversation at the TIME 2026 Woman of the Year Leadership Forum in Los Angeles. In order to have success, Ralph said she knew she “would have to get up every day, be prepared to climb the mountain, wave the flag, and have done the work to let them know that I'm there. I climbed the mountain. I did the work. I am here, and I am deserving.” “Why are you waiting trying to get to somebody else's table? Buy your own table. Build your own table, put up a seat, and sit at your own table,” she added. **Read more:** [_Sheryl Lee Ralph Is Teaching by Example_](https://time.com/collections/women-of-the-year/7377890/sheryl-lee-ralph/ "undefined") Both Robbins, 57, and Ralph, 69, are TIME Women of the Year honorees, and in their conversation discussed how their successes as “overnight sensations” took years of failing, learning things “the hard way,” and eventually betting on themselves. “Self-talk is the biggest obstacle in your way—destructive, so destructive,” Robbins said. “Take seriously how you speak to yourself, because the world will put obstacles in your way. You have the ability to remove them if you do not underestimate yourself.” Robbins, host of _The Mel Robbins Podcast,_ and the author of _The Let Them Theor_y, spoke about how her viral success took her 16 years of “doing the same thing, which is basically trying to get out of debt, trying to pay my bills, trying not to kill my husband, trying not to scream at my children, trying to do better, trying not to be jealous of everybody else." **Read more:** [_Mel Robbins Wants You to Bet on Yourself_](https://time.com/collections/women-of-the-year/7377907/mel-robbins-interview/ "undefined") Ralph noted that it took her 40 years as an actress to find the public success she found as Barbara Howard on the hit TV show _Abbott Elementary_. Now an Emmy winner, Critics’ Choice winner, and recipient of the Order of Jamaica, she says she doesn’t compare herself with others. “When you compare and you compete, there's only one person that loses,” she said. “Trust me, too many people’s lives, I have said, ‘What I wouldn’t give to be them!’ Look at them now, and I’m like, thank God I am not \[them\].” Instead of looking around at others, Ralph and Robbins discussed how staying present in the moment and listening to their gut can allow other women to find success. “It's exhausting to spend your life trying to make everybody else happy,” Robbins said. “So I hope you can learn from my mistakes to understand how much time and energy you are wasting in your life, managing other people, trying to change other people, trying to make them happy, trying to meet their expectations, just let them, let them do what they're going to do, and take all that time and power back.” “When you do not love yourself, then the best project you could work on is you,” she added. Ralph also said that women should learn to be better leaders as they find themselves in more positions of power. “For a few hundred years now, women have been, and some still are, under the thumb of the patriarchy—under the thumb of men…sometimes you learn men's bad habits,” she said. “So as women rise, I want you to remember to let go of some of what you've seen done by men. When we get to the top, we must be better than what was before us.” _The TIME Women of the Year Leadership Forum was presented by Target, Booking.com, Toyota, Deloitte, and Maker’s Mark._ ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"Article","@id":"https://time.com/collection/women-of-the-year-forum-and-gala/2026/mel-robbins-sheryl-lee-ralph/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/collection/women-of-the-year-forum-and-gala/2026/mel-robbins-sheryl-lee-ralph/"},"headline":"Sheryl Lee Ralph and Mel Robbins Talk Self-Belief and the Patriarchy","datePublished":"2026-03-10T20:18:05.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-11T06:58:07.449Z","description":"Sheryl Lee Ralph and Mel Robbins, both TIME Women of the Year honorees, sat down for a conversation at the TIME 2026 Woman of the Year Forum in Los Angeles.","url":"https://time.com/collection/women-of-the-year-forum-and-gala/2026/mel-robbins-sheryl-lee-ralph/","keywords":["Women of the Year"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt93d6945d6e9e3581/69b06fd1c082a58d72dee99f/2265816860.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Rebecca Schneid","jobTitle":"Reporter","url":"https://time.com/author/rebecca-schneid/"}],"creator":"Rebecca Schneid","articleSection":"Entertainment","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt93d6945d6e9e3581/69b06fd1c082a58d72dee99f/2265816860.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/entertainment/","name":"Entertainment"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"/tag/women-of-the-year/","name":"Women of the Year"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/collection/women-of-the-year-forum-and-gala/2026/mel-robbins-sheryl-lee-ralph/","name":"Sheryl Lee Ralph and Mel Robbins Talk Self-Belief and the Patriarchy"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"VideoObject","name":"A Conversation with Sheryl Lee Ralph and Mel Robbins","description":"Actress Sheryl Lee Ralph has a sign in her bedroom that reads, “Underestimate me, that will be interesting.” It’s that kind of self-motivation that has helped her find success as a Black female actress and advocate for herself in a Hollywood world that she was told wasn’t looking for women like her, she told podcaster Mel Robbins in a conversation at the TIME 2026 Woman of the Year Leadership Forum in Los Angeles.","thumbnailUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/v2/media/Hag5nKGJ/poster.jpg?width=720","uploadDate":"2026-03-10T23:56:13.000Z","contentUrl":"https://cdn.jwplayer.com/manifests/Hag5nKGJ.m3u8","embedUrl":"https://time.com/collection/women-of-the-year-forum-and-gala/2026/mel-robbins-sheryl-lee-ralph/","duration":"PT23M19S","potentialAction":{"@type":"SeekToAction","target":"https://time.com/collection/women-of-the-year-forum-and-gala/2026/mel-robbins-sheryl-lee-ralph/?jw_start={seek_to_second_number}","startOffset-input":"required name=seek_to_second_number"}}] ```