It is like the undead in that way (being a vampire? Not so bad)
Monogamy is not dead. In my opinion it will never die. It’s kind of like the undead in this way. Like that vampire dream where you see it lurking in the shadows and, deathly afraid of its bloodsucking possibilities, you give hasty retreat into the uncertain night. But your legs don’t run so fast… Why not!?!? Monogamy is chasing you! And the pursuit seems to last for hours until finally, exhausted, you relent into it’s surprisingly comforting embrace, and expose your neck to the bite. And, with this ceremonial bite, you join the ranks of those who will now live a more limited lifestyle… avoiding certain foods (garlic farts are terrible for a marriage), staying inside for at least half the day, and shunning an entire section of the population for fear you might bite their necks and get in big trouble with your head vampire.
But, as you wake up the next morning, a new person in this new club, you discover something strange. Being a vampire is not so bad. And you notice a subtle calm within yourself and the other vampires on your street. The bite has locked you into a way of life, and you don’t have to run away from anything anymore. Your destiny is known. And what you make of it is now in your control. There can be magic, fun, inspiration, even great neck sucking. You just have to work hard enough to keep things alive. I mean dead. Undead. Whatever.
Duplass is the co-creator and star of HBO’s Togetherness
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