--- title: How the War in Iran Is Impacting American Military Families description: Supporting military families is one of the most meaningful ways Americans can strengthen our country, writes Kathy Roth-Douquet. canonical: https://time.com/article/2026/03/20/iran-war-american-military-families/ author: Kathy Roth-Douquet article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2026-03-20T14:49:32.371Z article:modified_time: 2026-05-13T06:52:26.753Z og:title: How the War in Iran Is Impacting American Military Families og:description: Supporting military families is one of the most meaningful ways Americans can strengthen our country, writes Kathy Roth-Douquet. og:url: https://time.com/article/2026/03/20/iran-war-american-military-families/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt848abf461a410f56/69bd5d28fc75bf6fe23b1b41/uss-gerald-r-ford-departure.jpg?branch=production&width=2400&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: uss-gerald-r-ford-departure.jpg og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: How the War in Iran Is Impacting American Military Families twitter:description: Supporting military families is one of the most meaningful ways Americans can strengthen our country, writes Kathy Roth-Douquet. twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt848abf461a410f56/69bd5d28fc75bf6fe23b1b41/uss-gerald-r-ford-departure.jpg?branch=production&width=2400&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # How the War in Iran Is Impacting American Military Families by [Kathy Roth-Douquet](https://time.com/author/kathy-roth-douquet/) ## Kathy Roth-Douquet Mar 20, 2026 2:49 PM UTC  U.S. Navy sailors prepare for the U.S.S. Gerald R. Ford to depart from Norfolk, Va. on June 24, 2025. U.S. Navy sailors prepare for the U.S.S. Gerald R. Ford to depart from Norfolk, Va. on June 24, 2025.Joe Raedle—Getty Images by [Kathy Roth-Douquet](https://time.com/author/kathy-roth-douquet/) ## Kathy Roth-Douquet Mar 20, 2026 2:49 PM UTC As [bombs exploded across Iran](https://time.com/article/2026/03/13/Ali-Khamenei-Legacy-of-Repression-and-War/) and the Middle East on Feb. 28, the United States watched on our devices. One group of American families watched with a knot in their stomachs. Their loved ones are deployed to the theater of war. I know what it’s like, because in the last war, I was one of them. America has the most extraordinary military the world has ever known: [millions in the total force](https://demographics.militaryonesource.mil/chapter-1-total-military-force/), from all backgrounds and walks of life, trained with breathtaking discipline in skill, law, and ethics, loyal to the will of the nation and deployable at a moment’s notice. For military families, deployment can mean that someone who was here yesterday is now gone. Often, those deployments are extended. Returns are delayed. Our children sense our anxiety even when no one explains what is happening. When we hear [13 deaths](https://time.com/article/2026/03/10/us-service-members-killed-iran-war-casualties/) and about [200 wounded](https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/number-us-troops-wounded-war-against-iran-rises-about-200-2026-03-16/), each of those individuals feels very close, very real. These men and women are someone’s sons and daughters, husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. At home, Americans are feeling their absence. We are worried, juggling disruptions, and often feel alone. In my role as the founder and CEO of [Blue Star Families](https://bluestarfam.org/), a nonprofit supporting military members and their families, I see this impact up close. I have spoken with first-time military moms of 20-year-olds who are deployed and living unable to communicate with them (service members are not allowed to communicate with loved ones back home for security reasons). The families of the U.S.S. Gerald R. Ford, the aircraft carrier that has been ordered from the Mediterranean to the Caribbean to the Middle East, have had their [deployment extended](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/16/us/politics/uss-ford-fire-iran-venezuela.html) to ten months—on track to [set a record for longest deployment on a carrier](https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2026/03/military-families-brace-for-what-comes-next/). Deployments for aircraft carriers usually range from six to eight months. A mom impacted by the U.S.S. Ford deployment told us about her struggles juggling three kids alone, now for even longer. A working mom told us she lost her job because, with only days’ notice for her husband’s deployment, she had no childcare coverage. These challenges are underscored by a [poll of our members](https://bluestarfam.org/2026/03/as-global-tensions-escalate-military-families-carry-the-burden-at-home/) in the second week of March. Over [50,000 service members](https://www.militarytimes.com/news/your-military/2026/03/19/us-weighs-military-reinforcements-as-iran-war-enters-possible-new-phase/) and counting are deployed, hailing from dozens of duty stations and thousands of hometowns. In our survey this month of 200 active-duty military families, four out of five members said [current events in the Middle East are causing them stress](https://bluestarfam.org/2026/03/as-global-tensions-escalate-military-families-carry-the-burden-at-home/) and worry for the safety of deployed loved ones. The majority feel unprepared for the rapid change in orders that are likely to come. Most say they need more resources for household, family, and pet support, and for community and fellowship. These aren’t complaints—military families are proud to serve and aware of the challenges. But there is more we can do to support them. Military service rarely belongs to just one person. It belongs to an entire family. And those families are far more integrated into American life than many people realize. About [two-thirds](https://www.gao.gov/products/gao-25-106208) of [military families live off-base](https://bluestarfam.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/2025-MFLS%5FFull-Report%5F02202026.pdf). A significant amount of deployed overall are from the [Guard and Reserve](https://www.wafb.com/2026/03/02/1000-la-national-guard-troops-deployed-overseas-some-within-missile-range-iran/), and have little or no base support for families. The reservist deployed overseas may be your neighbor. The Guard member mobilizing may be your child’s coach. The spouse managing everything at home may be the colleague sitting next to you at work. Supporting military families is not separate from national security. When families are stable and supported, service members can focus on the mission. Today, [fewer than 1%](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/11/08/the-changing-face-of-americas-veteran-population/) of Americans are active-duty service members in the military. That means the responsibility of defending the country, and the sacrifices that come with it, are carried by a very small group of families. Americans will debate when and how the country should use military force. That debate is healthy. But whatever position people take, the responsibility to support those who serve and the families who stand beside them should never be in question. The nation recruits and trains its military far before any specific war erupts; we serve at the direction of the American people through the mechanisms of our democracy. The nation needs its military, so we must remember to separate opinion about civilian decisions in war from support for those in uniform. My own family knows this reality. My husband deployed to war four times during his military service. While he was away, I had to find the strength within myself to be a parent of two small children, and a professional attorney while carrying the loneliness and quiet fear that accompanies every deployment. That experience is unfolding again in homes across America right now. It’s why Blue Star Families launched [1-on-1 Deployment Support](https://member.us.orbiit.ai/opt-in/377121ff-616c-4d48-b735-beb26ce7c6bb/start), a virtual peer program connecting dozens of families who have lived through deployments with those facing them for the first time. Our local chapters, national programs, and digital community provide military families with support groups and access to mental health resources. But supporting military families is not something that only organizations can do. It is something all of us can do. We see every day how small acts of support from neighbors, schools, employers, and local communities can make a big difference. Start with a simple question in your workplace, school, or community group: _Does anyone here have someone they love serving in the military_? If the answer is “yes,” offer support without asking for details. A meal, an ear. To include their child in a playdate. Flexibility at work. A simple message that says we are here for you. If you do not know a military family personally, reach out, volunteer, and support organizations that can help.Nearly [90% of Americans say they admire military families](https://bluestarfam.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/BSF%5FYG%5FInfographic%5FJun24%5F2-1.pdf). Yet only [38% say they have taken action](https://bluestarfam.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/BSF%5FYG%5FInfographic%5FJun24%5F2-1.pdf) to support one. 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