--- title: Dealing with Cyberbullying: 5 Essential Parenting Tips description: Cyberbullying is back in the news, most recently because of a so-called "smut list" published online that targeted 100 teenage girls, some as young as... canonical: https://time.com/archive/7142176/dealing-with-cyberbullying-5-essential-parenting-tips/ author: TIME Staff article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2011-03-25T18:25:07.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-03-16T11:09:46.932Z article:section: Health og:title: Dealing with Cyberbullying: 5 Essential Parenting Tips og:description: Cyberbullying is back in the news, most recently because of a so-called "smut list" published online that targeted 100 teenage girls, some as young as... og:url: https://time.com/archive/7142176/dealing-with-cyberbullying-5-essential-parenting-tips/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt674f2b240ff7ba8f/698a94b49d83e841bdba059b/cyberbullycropped.jpg?branch=production&width=307&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 307 og:image:height: 173 og:image:alt: Girls gossiping in the library og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Dealing with Cyberbullying: 5 Essential Parenting Tips twitter:description: Cyberbullying is back in the news, most recently because of a so-called "smut list" published online that targeted 100 teenage girls, some as young as... twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt674f2b240ff7ba8f/698a94b49d83e841bdba059b/cyberbullycropped.jpg?branch=production&width=307&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Health](/section/health/) # Dealing with Cyberbullying: 5 Essential Parenting Tips > Sponsored content. 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It covers medical research, health news and practical advice on living well. #### Where can I get reliable health news by email? Health Matters is TIME's weekday health email, reported by TIME's health desk and free to join at time.com/newsletters. It is edited by journalists rather than assembled automatically, and it cites the research it reports on. #### Is Health Matters free? Yes. Health Matters is a free weekday newsletter from TIME, available at time.com/newsletters. #### Who reads TIME's Health Matters newsletter? Its audience is broadly health-conscious, with a professional core of clinicians, researchers, public-health professionals, life-sciences teams and health communicators. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-nl-health-2026q3/newsletters?i=7ae4aca4-5b90-40cd-84b0-d1368a316837&cr=time-nl-health-2026q3-v1) by [TIME Staff](https://time.com/author/time-staff/) Mar 25, 2011 6:25 PM UTC  14 Jul 2009 --- Girls gossiping in the library --- Image by © Serge Kozak/Corbis 14 Jul 2009 --- Girls gossiping in the library --- Image by © Serge Kozak/Corbis © Serge Kozak/Corbis—© Corbis. All Rights Reserved. by [TIME Staff](https://time.com/author/time-staff/) Mar 25, 2011 6:25 PM UTC Cyberbullying is back in the news, most recently because of a so-called “[smut list](http://www.aolnews.com/2011/03/21/smut-list-victim-lennis-ortega-i-thought-this-nightmare-was/)” published online that targeted 100 teenage girls, some as young as 14, for being promiscuous.more So Healthland asked two bullying experts — [Elizabeth Englander](http://elizabethenglander.com/), author of _Understanding Violence_, and [Jonathan Singer](http://www.temple.edu/ssa/Social-Work-Faculty/Jonathan-B-Singer.asp) at the Temple University School of Social Work — for tips for helping parents teach kids to avoid, cope with and understand the harm of digital abuse: **Make sure your kids know cyberbullying is wrong.** Many kids don’t understand that when they write down and disseminate feelings of frustration, jealousy or anger toward others online, it can quickly escalate into problems in the real world. They also tend to think that what happens digitally “doesn’t count” and that digital abuse doesn’t hurt, especially since parents usually focus on their kids’ behavior in person. So parents should educate themselves and their kids about the real-world impact of cyberbullying. If you see a story about cyberbullying in the newspaper or online, discuss it with your children and express your feelings of disapproval; reiterate your values and expectations for your children’s behavior. Encourage your kids to come to you quickly if anything gets out of hand online, and make sure they understand never to take revenge on anyone in cyberspace. (**More on Time.com:** [Lessons on Cyberbullying: Is Rebecca Black a Victim? Experts Weigh In](http://healthland.time.com/2011/03/18/lessons-on-cyberbullying-is-rebecca-black-a-victim-experts-weigh-in/)) **Take an interest in your kids’ online behavior.** Kids tend to think their parents don’t know or care about their online lives. They fear that their parents, in not understanding, will simply take away their cell phone or computer if anything goes wrong. So get involved in your children’s online behavior before harm occurs: make sure your kids know how you expect them to behave toward other people online; ask them how they communicate with their friends digitally and what kinds of problems typically pop up; explore with them how they think social networking may affect relationships between them and their friends. Finally, ask your children to show you how they would report digital abuse if it happened to them, and reassure them that if they run into a problem online, you will talk first before taking any action. (**More on Time.com:** [The Tricky Politics of Tween Bullying](http://healthland.time.com/2010/12/03/adolescents-anonymous-are-tweens-the-new-mean-girls/)) **Check school policies on cyberbullying.** Contact your child’s teacher or a school social worker or administrator and find out whether there is an official policy on cyberbullying. If there is one, read it and discuss it with your kids. If there isn’t a written policy in place, ask about how cyberbullying is handled and whether there are any plans to create an official policy. Better yet, step up and join — or push to create — a committee to set the standards. Though children spend the majority of their waking hours in school, many schools are ill prepared to deal with cyberbullying — many have neither an effective policy on cyberbullying nor the staff equipped to address it. (**More on Time.com:** [Cyberbullying? Homophobia? Tyler Clementi’s Death Highlights Online Lawlessness](http://healthland.time.com/2010/10/01/cyberbullying-homophobia-tyler-clementis-death-highlights-online-lawlessness/)) **Set guidelines about cell-phone use.** Many parents give their kids cell phones, so they can stay in closer contact with them. But that’s typically not the reason kids want cell phones. Rather, kids use them to surf the Web, send text messages to friends, update their social-networking status, and share pictures and videos. Review with your children the laws that could affect their cell phone use, including limitations on where and when they can legally take photos or videos, and how you expect them to handle text messaging or Internet use. If you choose to monitor what’s on your kids’ phones, be aware that more than 70% of kids delete messages or photos before giving their parents their phones for checks, according to research from the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center. (**More on Time.com:** [A Glimmer of Hope in a Bad-News Survey About Bullying](http://healthland.time.com/2010/10/27/a-glimmer-of-hope-in-a-bad-news-survey-about-bullying/)) **Help your children respond appropriately if they are cyberbullied.** First, talk with your children about what happened and how they feel about it. Be supportive. Remember that your kids feel that they are under attack. Second, report the abuse to the website on which it occurred. This can often be done via an “abuse” or “report” button or link on the site. Lastly, report the bullying to school administrators and ask them to look after your children. Research from the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center suggests that most repeated online attacks also involve in-school problems between kids, so be sure to alert the school to the situation. Even if the school cannot discipline a cyberbully — which may be the case unless the cyberabuse happens at school — teachers or school social workers can do a great deal to support the bullied child. They can also watch over troublesome situations brewing between kids. (**More on Time.com:** [‘It Gets Better:’ Wisdom From Grown-Up Gays and Lesbians to Bullied Kids](http://healthland.time.com/2010/09/27/it-gets-better-wisdom-from-grown-up-gays-and-lesbians-to-bullied-kids/)) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/archive/7142176/dealing-with-cyberbullying-5-essential-parenting-tips/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/archive/7142176/dealing-with-cyberbullying-5-essential-parenting-tips/"},"headline":"Dealing with Cyberbullying: 5 Essential Parenting Tips","datePublished":"2011-03-25T18:25:07.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-16T11:09:46.932Z","description":"Cyberbullying is back in the news, most recently because of a so-called \"smut list\" published online that targeted 100 teenage girls, some as young as...","url":"https://time.com/archive/7142176/dealing-with-cyberbullying-5-essential-parenting-tips/","keywords":["Parenting","Children","Teens","YouTube","Tips","Bullying","cyberbullying","advice","Parenthood"],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt674f2b240ff7ba8f/698a94b49d83e841bdba059b/cyberbullycropped.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"TIME Staff","url":"https://time.com/author/time-staff/"}],"articleSection":"Health","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt674f2b240ff7ba8f/698a94b49d83e841bdba059b/cyberbullycropped.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"Girls gossiping in the library","caption":"Girls gossiping in the library","creditText":"© Serge Kozak/Corbis—© Corbis. 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