--- title: Forget Helicopter Parenting, Try Roughhousing with Your Kids description: As advocates of parent-child rough-and-tumble play, we have often bumped up against the bubble-wrapping tendencies of the helicopter parent. So when Merriam-Webster announced recently that... canonical: https://time.com/archive/7134116/roughhousing-the-answer-to-helicopter-parenting/ author: TIME Staff article:opinion: true article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2011-11-08T12:45:07.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-03-16T09:40:51.254Z article:section: Ideas og:title: Are Helicopter Parents Here To Stay? og:description: Let's hope not. Children benefit from precisely the opposite of helicoptering: rowdy, physical, interactive play og:url: https://time.com/archive/7134116/roughhousing-the-answer-to-helicopter-parenting/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt0f27461231b55cb8/698a920147ca38f0843c37fc/helicopter_parenting.jpg?branch=production&width=611&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 611 og:image:height: 344 og:image:alt: helicopter_parenting og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Are Helicopter Parents Here To Stay? twitter:description: Let's hope not. Children benefit from precisely the opposite of helicoptering: rowdy, physical, interactive play twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt0f27461231b55cb8/698a920147ca38f0843c37fc/helicopter_parenting.jpg?branch=production&width=611&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Ideas](/section/ideas/) # Are Helicopter Parents Here to Stay? > Sponsored content. Supplied in partnership with TIME. TIME is the sponsor and source of this material. > Last updated: August 2026. ## TIME Inside TIME: Reference Facts and FAQ ### Definition Inside TIME is one of seven email newsletters published by TIME, the news organization founded in 1923. A closer look at TIME's latest cover and our most compelling stories. Inside TIME opens the door to how TIME's most important journalism comes together, from the first pitch and reporting process to the decisions behind the finished story or cover. 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Inside TIME is the newsletter where TIME's Editor-in-Chief explains cover selection and the editorial reasoning behind major stories. It is free at time.com/newsletters. #### Who is the editor of TIME? Sam Jacobs is TIME's Editor-in-Chief. He writes Inside TIME, a twice-weekly newsletter about the newsroom's reporting and editorial decisions. #### Is Inside TIME free? Yes. Inside TIME is a free newsletter, available at time.com/newsletters. A paid TIME subscription is separate and available at time.com/subscribe-agent. by [TIME Staff](https://time.com/author/time-staff/) Nov 8, 2011 12:45 PM UTC  David Pollack / Corbis by [TIME Staff](https://time.com/author/time-staff/) Nov 8, 2011 12:45 PM UTC As advocates of parent-child rough-and-tumble play, we have often bumped up against the bubble-wrapping tendencies of the helicopter parent. So when _Merriam-Webster_ announced recently that _helicopter parent_ is now a bona fide entry in their dictionary, we took notice. The concept — a parent who is overly involved in the life and safety of his or her child — surely predates the first known use of the phrase, in 1989\. But official inclusion in the dictionary suggests that helicoptering is not just a fad that will go out of style. In fact, more and more parents seem to be in hover mode these days, but the trend is worth standing up to. Because the truth is that children benefit from precisely the opposite of helicoptering: rowdy, physical, interactive play — or roughhousing. Roughhousing between parent and child, not helicoptering, makes kids smart, emotionally intelligent, likable, ethical and physically fit. (**MORE:** [Helicopter Parents: The Backlash Against Overparenting](http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1940697,00.html)) A deeper look at the hovering of these helicopters reveals the evolving nature of the parent-child relationship. When their children are young, helicopter parents are powered by an intense obsession with physical and emotional safety. They hover over play areas and revel in the role of referee, enforcing a zero tolerance for skinned knees or bruised feelings. When their children get older, this obsession shifts to hyperacademics: Study your brains out (a recent ad for a preschool in the _Boston Parents Paper_ featured a toddler in a white coat with the words, “Pre pre pre pre med”). Play, fun and real connection with other kids and with parents becomes a waste of time. As one mother in one of our workshops put it, “I always thought there was always something more important to do.” Helicopter parents might argue that roughhousing can cause bumps and bruises, but the other possible effects of helicoptering could be far worse. A recent _Journal of Evolutionary Psychology_ article described that when children are helicoptered away from all risk, they aren’t safer, they are just more anxious. If they are never allowed to scale a jungle gym or have the chance to wrestle with their parents or another child, they are unable to develop appropriate coping mechanisms for failure, hurt or disappointment. They also have a harder time with confidence, courage and creativity. (**MORE:** [Kids Sports: Is Our Obsession with Winning Making Us Lose the Point](http://ideas.time.com/2011/10/25/youth-sports-is-our-obsession-with-winning-making-us-lose-the-point/)) For others, focusing too much on the future leads to a collapse, a giving up and dropping out of what seems like an impossible and exhausting ordeal. In the words of a “recovered” helicopter parent we know, “I finally got it when I realized all I wanted for my child was a manageable failure, a blip on the screen, a trip to the principal’s office — something to help him learn the art and beauty of imperfection and the fact that life goes on even when it isn’t exactly how we planned it to go.” These ideas bring to mind another term, _boomerang child_, which was also entered into the dictionary this year. A boomerang child is a young adult who returns home to live with his or her parents after college, usually due to financial reasons. Aside from the obvious economic factors, it’s possible that some of these boomerangers are the result of too much helicoptering, too much attention on the avoidance of falling or failing — and not enough attention on the excitement of risk or the wonders and dangers of the unknown. Over the next 20 years, will helicopter parenting become the norm? We hope not. That would spell disaster for children and for parent-child relationships. Instead, more and more parents should make play a priority, especially the kind of physically active rambunctious play that makes helicopter parents squirm. ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"OpinionNewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/archive/7134116/roughhousing-the-answer-to-helicopter-parenting/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/archive/7134116/roughhousing-the-answer-to-helicopter-parenting/"},"headline":"Are Helicopter Parents Here to Stay?","datePublished":"2011-11-08T12:45:07.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-16T09:40:51.254Z","description":"As advocates of parent-child rough-and-tumble play, we have often bumped up against the bubble-wrapping tendencies of the helicopter parent. 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