--- title: 10 Smart Rules for Giving Negative Feedback description: Praising good performance is easy, but what about those times when someone on your team needs a kick in the butt more than a pat... canonical: https://time.com/archive/7103788/10-smart-rules-for-giving-negative-feedback/ author: TIME Staff article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2012-08-23T15:00:03.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-03-16T01:55:45.270Z article:section: Business og:title: 10 Smart Rules for Giving Negative Feedback og:description: Praising good performance is easy, but what about those times when someone on your team needs a kick in the butt more than a pat... og:url: https://time.com/archive/7103788/10-smart-rules-for-giving-negative-feedback/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltefa6ed25d9124453/698a8b8a9862f5cdcc89aef6/rbcm_84.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 1200 og:image:height: 675 og:image:alt: rbcm_84 og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: 10 Smart Rules for Giving Negative Feedback twitter:description: Praising good performance is easy, but what about those times when someone on your team needs a kick in the butt more than a pat... twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltefa6ed25d9124453/698a8b8a9862f5cdcc89aef6/rbcm_84.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  * [Business](/section/business/) # 10 Smart Rules for Giving Negative Feedback by [TIME Staff](/author/time-staff/) Aug 23, 2012 3:00 PM CUT  A business executive dressed in a suit confronts an employee and uses hand gestures as he talks A business executive dressed in a suit confronts an employee and uses hand gestures as he talksGetty Images—(c) Photodisc by [TIME Staff](/author/time-staff/) Aug 23, 2012 3:00 PM CUT Praising good performance is easy, but what about those times when someone on your team needs a kick in the butt more than a pat on the back? In that case, you’ll need to give some negative feedback–and do it without demotivating or demoralizing the other person. This post explains exactly how to do this. Before we get started, though, it’s important to remember that the goal of feedback is_not_ to tell people what to do or how to do it. That’s mistaking the process for the goal. The actual goal of feedback–even negative feedback–is to improve the behavior of the other person to bring out the best in your entire organization. With that in mind, here are the 10 rules: **1\. Make negative feedback unusual.** When a work environment becomes filled with criticism and complaint, people stop caring, because they know that–whatever they do–they’ll get raked over the coals. “I try to give seven positive reinforcements for every negative comment,” says Dan Cerutti, a general manager at IBM. **2\. Don’t stockpile negative feedback.** Changes in behavior are more easily achieved when negative feedback is administered in small doses. When managers stockpile problems, waiting for the “right moment,” employees can easily become overwhelmed. (**LIST:** [The 10 Best (and Most Unusual) Employee Perks](http://business.time.com/2012/01/25/the-10-best-and-most-unusual-employee-perks/#ixzz1kTynj8uA "undefined")) “Feedback is best given real time, or immediately after the fact,” explains management coach [Kate Ludeman](http://www.worthethic.com/ "undefined"). **3\. Never use feedback to vent.** Sure, your job is frustrating–but although it might make you feel better to get your own worries and insecurities off your chest, venting a string of criticisms seldom produces improved behavior. In fact, it usually creates resentment and passive resistance. **4\. Don’t email negative feedback.** People who avoid confrontation are often tempted use email as a vehicle for negative feedback. Don’t. “That’s like lobbing hand grenades over a wall,” says legendary electronic publishing guru [Jonathan Seybold](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seybold%5FSeminars "undefined"). “Email is more easily misconstrued, and when messages are copied, it brings other people into the fray.” **5\. Start with an honest compliment.** Compliments start a feedback session on the right footing, according to according to management consultant [Sally Narodick](http://www.linkedin.com/pub/sally-narodick/9/b20/810 "undefined") and current board member at the supercomputer company [Cray.](http://www.cray.com/About/Biographies/BoardOfDirectors.aspx "undefined") “Effective feedback focuses on the positive while still identifying areas for further growth and better outcomes.” **6\. Uncover the root of the problem.** You can give better feedback if you understand how the other person perceives the original situation. Asking questions such as, “Why do you approach this situation in this way?” or “What was your thought process?” not only provides you perspective, but it can lead other people to discover their own solutions and their own insights. **7\. Listen before you speak.** Most people can’t learn unless they first feel that they’ve been heard out. Effective feedback “means paying attention and giving high-quality feedback from an empathic place, stepping into the other person’s shoes, appreciating his or her experience, and helping to move that person into a learning mode,” says Ludeman. (**MORE:** [Don’t Let Latecomers Ruin Your Meeting](http://business.time.com/2012/03/14/dont-let-latecomers-ruin-your-meeting/ "undefined")) **8\. Ask questions that drive self-evaluation.** Much of the time, people know where they’re having problems and may even have good ideas about how to improve. Asking questions such as “How could we have done better?” and “What do you think could use improvement?” involves the other person in building a shared plan. **9\. Coach the behaviors you would like to see.** Negative feedback is useless without a model for how to do better. But simply telling the other person what to do or how to do it is usually a waste of time. Instead, use this [tried-and-true coaching method](http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/better-way-to-coach-employees.html "undefined"), which is based upon what top sports coaches do. **10\. Be willing to accept feedback, too.** If you truly believe that negative feedback can improve performance, then you should be willing to accept it as well as provide it. In fact, few things are more valuable to managers than honest feedback from employees. It’s to be treasured rather than discouraged or ignored. [**_Geoffrey James_**](http://www.inc.com/author/geoffrey-james "undefined") _writes the_ [_“Sales Source” column on Inc.com_](http://www.inc.com/author/geoffrey-james "undefined")_, the world’s most-visited sales-oriented blog. His newly published book is_ [Business to Business Selling: Power Words and Strategies From the World’s Top Sales Experts](http://www.amazon.com/How-Say-Business-Selling-Strategies/dp/0735204586/ref=sr%5F1%5F1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1323884525&sr=1-1 "undefined")_._ [_@Sales\_Source_](http://www.twitter.com/Sales%5FSource "undefined") **Read more from** [**Inc.com**](http://www.inc.com/ "undefined")**:** An appeals court postponed gay marriages in Michigan following a judge's previous ruling that struck down the state's same-sex marriage ban. Earlier, Michigan county clerks opened their offices to issue the state’s first marriage licenses for gay and lesbian couples Updated 5:34 PM ETA federal appeals court in Cincinnati has postponed same-sex marriages in Michigan at least until Wednesday, a day after a lower court judge’s ruling that struck down the state’s gay marriage ban, The Associated Press reported.The 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said it put out the order Saturday because it needed additional time to examine Michigan’s appeal of federal Judge Bernard Friedman’s Friday decision that reversed the same-sex marriage ban.Earlier, Michigan county clerks opened their offices Saturday to issue the state’s first marriage licenses for gay and lesbian couples following Friedman’s ruling.Ingham County Clerk Barb Byrum issued a marriage license to Glenna DeJong, 53, and Marsha Caspar, 52, at 8 a.m., the first same-sex couple to marry in Michigan, the Detroit Free Press reports. At least three county clerk offices opened on Saturday, and reportedly issued hundreds of marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples.Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette filed an emergency request late Friday for a stay pending an appeal.Friedman struck down Michigan’s ban on Friday and did not allow for a waiting period to give the state time to appeal or implement the ruling, paving the way for the state to be the 18th in the country to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.\[AP, Detroit Free Press\] \[video id=Kc02dmNR\] [8 Signs of an Extraordinary Boss](http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/8-core-beliefs-of-extraordinary-bosses.html?nav=next "undefined") * [14 Easy Ways to Get Insanely Motivated](http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/how-to-motivate-yourself-14-easy-ways.html?nav=next "undefined") ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/archive/7103788/10-smart-rules-for-giving-negative-feedback/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/archive/7103788/10-smart-rules-for-giving-negative-feedback/"},"headline":"10 Smart Rules for Giving Negative Feedback","datePublished":"2012-08-23T15:00:03.000Z","dateModified":"2026-03-16T01:55:45.270Z","description":"Praising good performance is easy, but what about those times when someone on your team needs a kick in the butt more than a pat...","url":"https://time.com/archive/7103788/10-smart-rules-for-giving-negative-feedback/","keywords":[],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltefa6ed25d9124453/698a8b8a9862f5cdcc89aef6/rbcm_84.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"TIME Staff","url":"https://time.com/author/time-staff/"}],"articleSection":"Business","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/bltefa6ed25d9124453/698a8b8a9862f5cdcc89aef6/rbcm_84.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"rbcm_84","caption":"rbcm_84","creditText":"Getty Images—(c) Photodisc","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"/section/business/","name":"Business"}},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/archive/7103788/10-smart-rules-for-giving-negative-feedback/","name":"10 Smart Rules for Giving Negative Feedback"}}]}] ```