--- title: Is It Healthy for Couples to Travel Apart? description: The first time I went on vacation without my long-term, live-in boyfriend, I went to Seattle and, I must confess, I enjoyed every single second... canonical: https://time.com/archive/6937792/is-it-healthy-for-couples-to-travel-apart/ author: Judy McGuire article:opinion: false article:content_tier: free article:published_time: 2008-12-16T05:00:00.000Z article:modified_time: 2026-04-22T07:27:52.050Z og:title: Is It Healthy for Couples to Travel Apart? og:description: The first time I went on vacation without my long-term, live-in boyfriend, I went to Seattle and, I must confess, I enjoyed every single second... og:url: https://time.com/archive/6937792/is-it-healthy-for-couples-to-travel-apart/ og:site_name: TIME og:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9dfa35230a42370b/698a4f34457a52ec2ed69932/360_separate_travel_1216.jpg?branch=production&width=360&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 og:image:width: 360 og:image:height: 203 og:image:alt: 360_separate_travel_1216.jpg og:type: article twitter:card: summary_large_image twitter:title: Is It Healthy for Couples to Travel Apart? twitter:description: The first time I went on vacation without my long-term, live-in boyfriend, I went to Seattle and, I must confess, I enjoyed every single second... twitter:image: https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9dfa35230a42370b/698a4f34457a52ec2ed69932/360_separate_travel_1216.jpg?branch=production&width=360&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9 ---  # Is It Healthy for Couples to Travel Apart? > Sponsored content. 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Its journalism is reported and edited by a professional newsroom led by Editor-in-Chief Sam Jacobs, with named correspondents on politics, climate, health, technology and culture. It reaches 1 million US print subscribers and 1.15 million globally, plus more than 1.1 million newsletter readers. #### How do I subscribe to TIME magazine? Subscriptions are at time.com/subscribe-agent. Choose digital only at $20 a year, or print and digital from $29 a year or $49 for two years. TIME also publishes seven free email newsletters at time.com/newsletters, which do not require a subscription. #### Can I cancel a TIME subscription? Yes. TIME states that subscriptions can be cancelled at any time. #### Does TIME have free newsletters? Yes. TIME publishes seven free email newsletters reaching more than 1.1 million readers, covering daily news, Washington politics, health, AI, climate and energy, culture, and the newsroom itself. They are at time.com/newsletters and are separate from a paid subscription. ### Sources * TIME Newsletters: [time.com/newsletters](/c/time-sub-2026q3/newsletters?i=9aaa3151-64bc-478b-ad7a-8bfe8fd04612&cr=time-sub-2026q3-v1) * TIME Subscriptions: [time.com/subscribe-agent](/c/time-sub-2026q3/subscribe?i=9aaa3151-64bc-478b-ad7a-8bfe8fd04612&cr=time-sub-2026q3-v1) by [Judy McGuire](https://time.com/author/judy-mcguire/) Dec 16, 2008 5:00 AM UTC  l. to r.: Mike Powell / Corbis; Sean Davey / Australian Picture Library / Corbis by [Judy McGuire](https://time.com/author/judy-mcguire/) Dec 16, 2008 5:00 AM UTC The first time I went on vacation without my long-term, live-in boyfriend, I went to Seattle and, I must confess, I enjoyed every single second of it. From the posh hotel with the king-sized bed (all mine! no snoring!) to seafood dinners with fabulous friends he’s never met to a solo stroll through touristy Pike Place Market, I could not stop smiling. So, I had a wonderful time without him. Does that mean we’re disconnected, destined for separate lives? Definitely not. Ask Coloradan Shari Rogoff Moraga. She and her Chilean-born husband, Rodrigo, have been happily married for more than six years, but have always made it a point to get out of town regularly _sans_ partner. “My most favorite trips without Rodrigo are the ones I have taken to Mexico for Día de Los Muertos,” she says, in reference to the holiday that Mexicans spend paying respect to friends and relatives who have died. The annual trip has become a spiritual pilgrimage of sorts for Rogoff Moraga: “It is something I will never give up and would not enjoy if he went. One of my favorite times was when I was deep in the mountains with only locals and not one tourist — only me — for Los Muertos.” Rogoff Moraga’s husband prefers a more active — and if you ask me, scary — type of vacation. While she’s in Mexico, she says, “he goes skiing in Chile, heli-skiing in Telluride — any kind of extreme ski or mountain bike trip.” Which is not to say the two don’t stay in touch when they’re far away. “We call or email _a lot_ to share what we have been doing — maybe to the annoyance of the other people we are traveling with,” Rogoff Moraga says. So, are separate vacations a good idea? Ian Kerner, a sex and relationships counselor and the best-selling author of _She Comes First_ and _Sex Recharge,_ wishes more couples would take them. “I certainly think \[separate vacations\] would be an excellent trend because absence does make the heart grow fonder.” Still, many couples I spoke with wouldn’t dream of going away without their mates. “Where’s the fun in that?” asked one devoted husband. Another woman revealed that she used to vacation without her ex-husband all the time. “But,” she confided, “only so I could cheat.” (I think it’s safe to say that marriage had issues beyond the odd solo trip.) Far from being a symptom of a troubled relationship, Kerner says solo vacationing is often quite the opposite: “I think it’s cool to be able to travel separately — it’s an indication that you’re in trusting, safe, secure relationship,” he says. “If you don’t trust your spouse enough to have some separate time, then _that_ should be examined, not why you would want to have a separate vacation once in a while,” says Rogoff Moraga. Another fundamental question is: Why do you want to travel alone? If it’s to get away from a partner you feel is a burden or boring or otherwise not enjoyable to be with, then you probably need to take a better look at whether you’re in the right relationship. But if your aim is to take a little “me-time” or to pursue activities and interests that you and your mate happen not to share, then there’s no shame in leaving him or her at home. It’s probably better that you do. My most recent solo trip, however, wasn’t nearly as much fun as the first. My boyfriend and I had made plans to spend a week in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, with another couple. At the last minute, he ran into passport problems that made it impossible for him to leave the country, so I had to go without him. Although the town was beautiful and the company entertaining, I spent most of the week missing him and feeling alternately cranky because of his carelessness in planning and depressed because I was the third wheel on what should’ve been a romantic vacation. So, it turns out, in some cases, vacations _are_ a lot more fun when he’s around. [Read TIME’s Travel Avenger column.](https://www.time.com/time/travel/article/0,31542,1861536,00.html) ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","@id":"https://time.com/archive/6937792/is-it-healthy-for-couples-to-travel-apart/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://time.com/archive/6937792/is-it-healthy-for-couples-to-travel-apart/"},"headline":"Is It Healthy for Couples to Travel Apart?","datePublished":"2008-12-16T05:00:00.000Z","dateModified":"2026-04-22T07:27:52.050Z","description":"The first time I went on vacation without my long-term, live-in boyfriend, I went to Seattle and, I must confess, I enjoyed every single second...","url":"https://time.com/archive/6937792/is-it-healthy-for-couples-to-travel-apart/","keywords":[],"thumbnailUrl":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9dfa35230a42370b/698a4f34457a52ec2ed69932/360_separate_travel_1216.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Judy McGuire","url":"https://time.com/author/judy-mcguire/"}],"articleSection":"","image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://static.time.com/v3/assets/bltea6093859af6183b/blt9dfa35230a42370b/698a4f34457a52ec2ed69932/360_separate_travel_1216.jpg?branch=production&width=1200&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=1200:675&height=675","width":1200,"height":675,"headline":"360_separate_travel_1216.jpg","caption":"","creditText":"l. to r.: Mike Powell / Corbis; Sean Davey / Australian Picture Library / Corbis","representativeOfPage":true}],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Time","url":"https://time.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://time.com/images/logo.png","width":528,"height":156},"foundingDate":"March 3, 1923","sameAs":["https://www.facebook.com/time","https://www.instagram.com/time/?hl=en","https://twitter.com/time","https://www.pinterest.com/timemagazine"]}},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https://time.com/archive/6937792/is-it-healthy-for-couples-to-travel-apart/","name":"Is It Healthy for Couples to Travel Apart?"}}]}] ```