Miscellany, Dec. 15, 1952

Barred Comfort. In Spokane, Police Chief Clyde Phelps banned the use of tobacco and sleeping on bunks in the city jail between 6 a.m. and 6 p.m., explained: “I believe the best way to keep men from spending the winter in jail is to make it less enjoyable.”

Roving Correspondent. In Milwaukee, Mrs. Irene Matkey charged her husband with desertion, claimed that he not only abandoned her with five children, but kept sending her postcards from vacation resorts saying: “Having wonderful time. Wish you were here.”

Playback. In West Hartford, Conn., self-styled Electronics Student John E. Whitley received a six months’ suspended jail sentence for breaking into the West Hartford Congregational Church and stealing a tape recorder, was rearrested several months later after he broke into the West Hartford Congregational Church, stole a tape recorder.

The Touch of Reality. In Pittsburgh, James Merrian, bent on suicide, leaped from a bridge into the Ohio River, but swam quickly to shore, was hauled onto the bank by two bystanders and explained to police: “That water was too cold; I never knew it would be like that.”

The Torchbearer. In Baltimore, the court found George M. Tunstall guilty of arson, but released him on probation after he testified that he had set a fire in a trash bucket at his home to smoke out his wife, who had shut herself up in a room with another man.

All Out. In Sparreholm, Sweden, Emil Elmvall, determined to chase a rat out from behind his car’s upholstery, filled the car with acetylene gas, caused an explosion which blew the car top over a two-story house, shattered 300 windowpanes and injured six men.

Limited Objective. In Chicago, a teenage thief snatched Mrs. Wilma Gardner’s purse containing her $10,000 life savings, a week later mailed $9,780 back to her with an awed note: “I never expected to find that much money. If I had, I never would have taken it.”

Name Dropper. In Bridgeton, N.J., after being naturalized, Tinco Epeus Andringa Van Hylckama Vlieg, sometime of The Netherlands, got the court’s permission to change his name to Tinco Epeus Andringa Van Hylckama.

The End. In Oakland, Calif., when Edward Sandner’s car broke down one time too many, he picked up a .22 rifle, pumped several shots into the tires, smashed the radiator and spark plugs with a rock, tore out the upholstery, set fire to the remains.