• U.S.

Miscellany, Jun. 22, 1959

2 minute read


Low Down Payment. In Tulsa, Okla., because they needed the money, city officials swallowed their pride, cashed a taxpayer’s check that read: “Pay to the order of the thieves of City Hall, $13.50 for water from a bunch of crooks.”

Polished Gentleman. In Giugliano, Italy, Antonio Pollastro charged his two sons with kidnaping and abusive treatment after they dragged him outside his home, gave him an unrequested hot bath, shave and haircut.

Southern Exposure. In Tallahassee, Fla., the state legislature received a bill prohibiting misuse of the Confederate flag after Tennis Player Laura Lou Kunnen showed up on the courts with the flag on the seat of her shorts.

Spot Cash. In Duncan, Okla., when she developed a rash on her left hand, Bank Teller Laverne Parks learned from her doctor that she is allergic to money.

To Whom It May Concern. In Loogootee, Ind., Post Office employees opened an unsealed envelope with no address or stamp, found a message: “All my love forever, your old forgetful husband, Bing.”

Injunction. In Sydney, Australia, a gunman holding up a branch of the National Bank of Australia fled without taking any money when the cashier told him, “Don’t be silly.”

The Other Cheek. In Tuscaloosa, Ala., J. R. Campbell was fined $100 after he paddled the school principal who paddled his son.

Around the Horn. In Newcastle, Australia, awakened by police from a sound snooze in the front seat of his car in the middle of the street, Albert T. Jeans indignantly complained, “I am in bed.”

Mineral Deposit. In Dayton, after paying $15 for a C.O.D. package marked “fragile,” Mrs. Dorothea Johnson found it contained a 10-lb. chunk of cement.

Strong Backing. In Zanesville, Ohio, charged with intoxication, Maynard Bradford won a suspended fine when he told the judge, “There’s no one home to take care of my seven snapping turtles.”

Trade School. In Hartford, Conn., denying any attempt to escape, Convict Charles Glover explained that he had tied bedsheets together because he wanted to learn how to braid hair.

Ready-to-Wear. In Memphis, a department-store detective thought Shopper Edward Earl Clements was too fat to be true, found under his bulging coat: four sports shirts, two raincoats, two bottles of cologne, a 2-lb. box of candy, several belts, a hat.

More Must-Reads from TIME

Contact us at letters@time.com